Americana.jpg: I love MEAT, HOT MEAT! Help!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Americana.jpg: I love MEAT, HOT MEAT! Help!

norton I: May 1, 2008; His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I

Emperor of these United States

Protector of Mexico

china bot posted:

lol in high school, a group of my friends stole so many baby jesuses in our county that it made the newspaper under the headline "A Christmas Tragedy"

Years ago my sister bought a light up baby jesus so she could give it glowing red eyes, something we'd always joked about. The Amazon listing for it was "Replacement Baby Jesus" because so many of them get stolen.

# ? Jan 6, 2021 06:32

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 17:06

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

norton I posted:

Years ago my sister bought a light up baby jesus so she could give it glowing red eyes, something we'd always joked about. The Amazon listing for it was "Replacement Baby Jesus" because so many of them get stolen.

I think it's probably because you normally buy a complete manger set, so if you're only buying one piece it's a replacement. You can probably find replacement sheep too.

# ? Jan 6, 2021 06:53

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

norton I posted:

Years ago my sister bought a light up baby jesus so she could give it glowing red eyes, something we'd always joked about. The Amazon listing for it was "Replacement Baby Jesus" because so many of them get stolen.

Also an excellent handle

# ? Jan 6, 2021 08:49

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

norton I posted:

Years ago my sister bought a light up baby jesus so she could give it glowing red eyes, something we'd always joked about. The Amazon listing for it was "Replacement Baby Jesus" because so many of them get stolen.

Most people don�t know this, but the original title and lyrics for the Depeche Mode hit Personal Jesus were, in fact, �Replacement Baby Jesus�.

# ? Jan 6, 2021 18:05

ThePopeOfFun: Feb 15, 2010

china bot posted:

lol in high school, a group of my friends stole so many baby jesuses in our county that it made the newspaper under the headline "A Christmas Tragedy"

You made so many people SUFFER, don't you know????

# ? Jan 6, 2021 18:06

goatface: Dec 5, 2007; I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.; Grimey Drawer

It's only proper to replace them with something suitable. Troll doll, alcohol miniature, baked good, toilet roll. Something appropriate.

# ? Jan 6, 2021 18:28

interwhat: Jul 23, 2005; it's kickin in dude

Central Ohio checking in. There's a Lion's Den at the exit where I get on the freeway, where, a local church put up a billboard directly behind it that's very faded and reads "...don't need porn."

I love how the folks that put them up probably feel just so important and making a difference.

# ? Jan 6, 2021 18:32

RC and Moon Pie: May 5, 2011

Blue Moonlight posted:

Most people don�t know this, but the original title and lyrics for the Depeche Mode hit Personal Jesus were, in fact, �Replacement Baby Jesus�.

Go out, buy grace.

# ? Jan 7, 2021 04:49

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

interwhat posted:

Central Ohio checking in. There's a Lion's Den at the exit where I get on the freeway, where, a local church put up a billboard directly behind it that's very faded and reads "...don't need porn."

I love how the folks that put them up probably feel just so important and making a difference.

there's a church in my town that setup a billboard for isheinyou.com and it gets a lol from me every time i remember it exists when driving by so they made a difference

# ? Jan 7, 2021 10:28

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Potato Salad.

There's all kinds, from vinegary german style:

To true Americana style:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOcLwn0Clho

To Mustard Potato Salad With Egg:

And all kinds in between.

What brings me to post about Potato Salad is that, doing grocery pickup, I inadvertantly ordered three pounds of the mustard variety. I ended up with a huge container like this today:

And as I made room in my fridge for the potato salad, I felt it necessary to come here, and tell you, GBS. What do you think about Potato Salad? Are any of you euro goons suitably horrified?

# ? Jan 9, 2021 00:05

Poo In An Alleyway: Feb 12, 2016

# ? Jan 9, 2021 00:27

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

No high fructose corn syrup? In this most American of dishes?!

Ingredients
POTATOES, MAYONNAISE (SOYBEAN OIL, WATER, CORN SYRUP, EGG YOLK, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% DISTILLED VINEGAR, SALT, MUSTARD FLOUR, CALCIUM DISODIUM EDTA [TO PROTECT QUALITY]), CELERY, SWEET PICKLE RELISH (PICKLES, SUGAR, DISTILLED VINEGAR, SALT, XANTHAN GUM, ALUM, NATURAL SPICE FLAVORS), WHITE MUSTARD (VINEGAR, WATER, MUSTARD SEED), ONION, SUGAR, SALT, POTASSIUM SORBATE (TO PRESERVE FRESHNESS), BLACK PEPPER, BETA CAROTENE (COLOR).

Oh, just regular corn syrup, fine, good.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 00:43

TIP: Mar 21, 2006; Your move, creep.

Mustard potato salad is awesome. :shrug:

# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:04

MrQueasy: Nov 15, 2005; Probiot-ICK

Tip posted:

Mustard potato salad is awesome.

I don't discriminate against any kind of potato salad.

Provided there are no raisins.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:08

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Tip posted:

Mustard potato salad is awesome.

Amen.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:09

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

I like me some raisins in chicken salad. But :ssh:

that's for a later post.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:09

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

TheAardvark posted:

I like me some raisins in chicken salad. But that's for a later post.

Impeach this mod asap

# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:14

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

Potato salad is great. I like a good German potato salad but a mustard/mayo one is a classic.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 02:43

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

spicy brown or honey mustard?

or something crazy like maple mustard or something?

# ? Jan 9, 2021 02:53

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

rotinaj posted:

spicy brown or honey mustard?

or something crazy like maple mustard or something?

Lol.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 02:55

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Why do you have corn syrup in mayonnaise? :wtc:

# ? Jan 9, 2021 03:05

Arven: Sep 23, 2007

Every pot luck I've ever been to has had someone bring a tub of grocery store brand of potato salad that they rave about as being the best potato salad in the world. Regardless of if it's mayo or mustard type, it only comes in two varieties- flavorless or diabetes.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 03:20

mlnhd: Jun 4, 2002

TheAardvark posted:

I�m a Midwesterner, and we love potato salad.
That particular store brand is really quite good if you don�t feel like making your own.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 03:53

Sex Skeleton: Aug 16, 2018; For when lonely nights turn bonely

McGavin posted:

Why do you have corn syrup in mayonnaise?

# ? Jan 9, 2021 03:57

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

McGavin posted:

Why do you have corn syrup in mayonnaise?

The Something Awful Forums � Main � General Bullshit � Americana.jpg

# ? Jan 9, 2021 04:01

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

hate hoot posted:

Chiming in late to say Jennifer 8. Lee (yes, her middle name is a number) wrote a great book about why and how this is, along with a lot of other stuff about Chinese food/immigration in the US, called "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles."

It�s funny because in Oakland, nearly every Pho and Sushi joint is owned and staffed by Koreans. Almost every donut shop is owned by Cambodians. I honestly think that�s a really beautiful part of America, despite its origins almost universally stemming from extremely ugly and racially charged conflict.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 04:45

BasicLich: Oct 22, 2020; A very smart little mouse!

i like to cut salami into bitesize bits to give you something to chew on with potato salad.

otherwise its normal: potatos, hard boiled egg, celery, brown spicy mustard and just enough mayo so that it's not dry.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 09:14

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Proud Midwesterner here who has never liked any potato salad beyond "eh, that is fine I guess," but I have liked nearly every egg salad I have ever had, on at least a "heyyy!" level.

I think coleslaw is vile. Except one kind I had at a rotisserie place in Qu�bec; it was not too bad.

I am not convinced ham salad is real.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 09:38

Doc Fission: Sep 11, 2011

The American salad creation method of hucking mayonnaise on stuff is baffling but I will say egg and potato salads are pretty alright. German potato salad is best because vinegary stuff is always superior to the alternative, and egg salad is best on a sandwich IMHO.

More importantly:

Dr. Quarex posted:

I am not convinced ham salad is real.

I had to Google this one and

Oh my.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 14:59

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

It tastes like eating an incredibly salty pureed sponge

# ? Jan 9, 2021 15:12

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

You really have to nail cooking the potatoes when you make a potato salad. The mustard egg kind is my favorite too but it's gotta have some crunchy veggies in there like celery, carrot, or bell peppers. You also must do the eggs perfectly, juuuuust under hard boiled where the yolk spreads like warm butter and the white is so so so soft.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 15:20

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

I don't like cold potato dishes so I don't like potato salad.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 16:11

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 16:14

Professor Latency: Mar 30, 2011

That's the stuff

# ? Jan 9, 2021 16:47

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

500excf type r posted:

Nice potat

# ? Jan 9, 2021 16:52

naem: May 29, 2011

500excf type r posted:

this isn�t the blessed thread

# ? Jan 9, 2021 17:06

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

Once a year, usually around Fourth of July, I gorge myself on mustard and egg potato salad and then forget it exists until the next year.

Goddamn that stuff is good and lovely and kinda gross and I love it. Gimme a $4 tub from Krogers and I'm set.

# ? Jan 9, 2021 18:32