|
Ewan posted:And, if you're bored you can switch it to "under the sea" mode where then on your screen (and your screen only) all of the participants with cameras on are bobbing about among the ocean coral while they're talking about today's numbers. How do I do this? tia
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 19:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 08:58 |
|
|
BigSexy posted:One thing I like about my company is there’s no forced “bonding” bullshit. They pay us well and expect a lot from us but I’m at work to work, not hang out. I see now writing this makes me seem like an rear end in a top hat but I have a family and friends outside work, I don’t need to hang out with work people outside of work or take time away from regular projects No it‘s fine. Bonding opportunitiesare great. Mandatory bonding is bullshit. And I am pretty sure it‘s normal you are off the clock for those in the US right?
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 19:23
|
|
|
Oh man. I work retail, and it's usually a joke anyway. But here's some dumb and scummy poo poo. I'm in charge of receiving at my store, so when our weekly truck comes in I'm responsible for verifying it's the right trailer and the BOL is correct and blah blah. Well, they stick a big metal seal on the trailer door that we have to verify is correct before cutting it off. Pretty standard for shipping, but usually once or twice a year they intentionally stick the wrong seal on there to test if we're checking them. All well and good, except that before they do this they send out region-wide emails saying...That they're going to be doing seal checks. Priorities are hilariously off as well. Everyone expected retail to crash, but the opposite happened. We're making record profits, but god forbid the execs invest that money in poo poo we need. My store has 4 pallet jacks, three of which have broken wheels and two with leaky valves that won't stay lifted. We've been asking for months for even ONE new one, but sorry we can't afford that. Our furniture items are getting bigger and heavier, quite a few pushing 300lbs and we're still using dinky-rear end handcarts. Supposedly corporate was going to supply every store with heavy-duty furniture handcarts, but that was 8 months ago and they've stopped mentioning it. It took 6 months for us to get a new cart corral after the old one literally rusted out and fell apart like the Blues Brothers car. Management gets paid a (small) bonus every quarter based mostly on sales performance. So far in the past year they've attempted or succesfully hosed us out of the bonus multiple times. They set a "gatekeeping" metric that if you fail, you get nothing. Amazing how every time that metric seems to mysteriously get messed up. One quarter the metric was receipt survey rating. No problem, my store was running like a 90% positive. Until the day before the quarter ended and all of a sudden we drop to 70%. Another quarter they made the gate metric store expenses, and in the last week of the quarter force-ordered $750 worth of supplies we didn't need. Thankfully our DM is a stand-up guy and called bullshit, pulled some strings and we got paid. Hell, right now our 4th quarter is ending, and we've already spotted their lovely little scheme to gently caress us over this time as well. They changed the price on recliners, and put it in the system in a way that it counts as a "markdown" against us.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 19:36
|
|
|
No they don’t pay you. An while they say it isn’t mandatory, it will be remarked upon during your annual review. E. Re: “team building” happy hours, etc Brother Tadger fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Jan 31, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 19:36
|
|
|
Benefits got cut because of the pandemic. The president made a big deal of him choosing to go one month without pay because “we all need to make sacrifices.” He makes $500k per year. I was lucky enough to switch to WFH when COVID hit because all of my tasks can be completed remotely. My team’s productivity has actually increased because we’re not constantly being interrupted by trivial office poo poo. Despite this, our boss wants us back in the office because it’s “not fair” to the other teams who have face-to-face responsibilities. Decreasing efficiency AND killing staff in the name of fairness. Squack McQuack fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Jan 31, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 19:48
|
|
|
Aardvark! posted:they started making us use this 20 year old software to log our time as salaried employees. you have to log each day individually with 10+ clicks that load slow as gently caress and assign the time to coded project numbers one at a time by entering the project number manually. it takes me 15 minutes a day of mind numbing clicking and entering because my job makes me touch a lot of projects on a daily basis. My last job did something like this too. As salaried software devs, we had to log at least 40 hours a week of productive work into this system in 15 minute blocks, and it was expected that a certain percentage of that would be "billable". We were also responsible for determining what was billable vs unbillable. We had a 3 page document outlining the rules for this, like if one dev consulted another, who actually bills the time, etc. Most of the time this was fine I guess, there was more than enough work to fill them week and then some. But on slower weeks, finding "productive" work to do was tough. Bug fixes weren't a thing because we couldn't touch any code that didn't have a specific design created for us - everything was so fragile and any changes might break clients' customizations (which was a whole other thing, oof). Training/research time had to be approved beforehand, we couldn't just start looking into things on our own. Surprise, task estimates in slower times went up so people could pad out their time and be sure they had sometime to log for the week.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 20:29
|
|
|
Work log 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting 15 mins: dept meeting
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 20:49
|
|
|
What sucks is that I like what I do. A lot. It suits me, plays to my strengths and even challenges me on occasion. Every other aspect outside of that, however, is cokeheaded madness, at times literally. But with that, the best summation as to how the company I work for is, the prior HR head decided to fight negative reviews on Glassdoor and it looks as loving insane as you can imagine. The reviews were pretty truthful, and while I have little HR expertise, I don’t exactly see aggression as a way to rectify a situation like that E: seems the new HR tactic regarding Glassdoor js flooding the page with insanely fake reviews. Very cool. teen witch fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Jan 31, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 21:22
|
|
|
shut up blegum posted:How do I do this? tia Switching to together mode doesn't change it for anyone else. BUT, when you change scene anyone else that happens to be using together mode will switch to that scene too. So you can have separate IMs with your buddies loling when you change the senior management pep talk to under the sea. Looks like this https://twitter.com/codepo8/status/1329117179468541953
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:09
|
|
|
We're switching to a different business model which needs better time tracking. Instead of paying for decent time tracking software the boss (me) made the hr department (also me) have someone (me) create a project time tracking system from scratch on excel. I'm onboarding new staff this week, so we'll see if it's as bad as I think it is (it is). I refuse to accept any responsibility for the debacle.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:18
|
|
|
We have to have Teams on our phones (a few people get to work at home but not me, who lives an hour away) Our job is literally the same every day but we have to talk about what we accomplished the day before and what we want to do today I want to rig google assistant to just answer for me
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:32
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:I had a zoom meeting last month and for the first 10 minutes they played music and told everyone to dance. Like a half dozen people were doing it (out of a few hundred) and they just kept that music on loop for the whole time. At the end of the meeting they said they didn't have enough "dance footage" and told everybody to put their cameras on. This is amazing and I wanna hear more about it
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:37
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat reminded us of our annual company meeting. I was hired during 2020, so I was not at last year's. Apparently they fly people in from everywhere and we have a huge banquet at a nice hotel while they tell us about the company's successes and areas to work on for the next year. This year we had to watch a mandatory half-day video with lame song parodies and tiktok videos in a room with no cell signal. They bought us lunch, which was nice. Except it was at 2pm and we had already eaten. I actually like where I'm working, but that was a crap day. gently caress you covid.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:50
|
|
|
Zarin posted:Ahhh, SAP. *stares wistfully and/or traumatically into the middle distance* Please someone teach me all your SAP tricks. No one can find our documentation and all the superusers have retired...
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:50
|
|
|
As for my own, my department only has 4 people in it, but our company is huge, with over 3000 employees. My boss, supervisor and myself are all good at what we do and are fairly competent. However we don't get to choose who joins the department. After the last employee just stopped showing up because of mental issues or something, we had a new hire dumped into our group. But, being a huge company, for 99% of the jobs we're just looking for someone who can show up sober and on time and complete 30 minutes worth of work in the allotted 8 hours. As such, the 4th person who was hired and put into our department is just the friend of someone who worked at our company. This new employee had zero technically or computer knowledge prior to working in our very standard office. Things like Excel, Outlook, and email in general was completely new. During the interview they said their favorite "tech" was the banking app on their phone. I was gobsmacked at such a stupid answer. Previously this person worked at a supermarket doing something completely unrelated and way under the technical knowledge level required to do our job. Essentially they were hired because the other few people who interviewed had absolutely no knowledge of what we were doing and no connection to the company, so knowing someone was good enough I guess. This new person also has also shown that they don't want to go out of their way to pick up work or have any ambition to learn. It seems they're just fine with doing what they were told to do and avoiding grabbing any emails that come to our department and shouting out in our group chat that they'll answer them (likely because they can't because they've intentionally avoided learning how to do anything other than file forms). We hired this person to distribute the workload so that the three of us wouldn't get bogged down, but this new person has basically refused to step up and become an all-arounder. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the rest of us are calling out when we're grabbing support emails and questions in our group chats that we might be enabling the behavior, but on the other hand, it's obvious that the new person doesn't seem to want to step up and do their part. They also, during conference calls, have this habit of butting in randomly and saying really stupid or redundant or extremely basic poo poo to try and pretend like they're competent and listening and part of the team!!. Most of the time we have to go "yeah, that's a good point, we have to be aware of that. Anyways, as we were saying". Sometimes they just get it completely wrong because they weren't listening. When we all discuss what we're working on, they just say the same thing every single time, which is doing filing. This new person is very self-unaware about how they look, I guess. We can't really talk poo poo about them because that's not helpful to the department, company or each other, but I'm sure everyone has thought the same thing: This new person is a total plonker. This new person also takes a LOT of sick days and vacations compared to everyone else. Anyways, I know that when cutbacks come, it's not my head on the chopping block. Luckily, we don't have much other stupid poo poo we have to do. We have a conference call once a week, and that's about it, and no one is forced to do any stupid dancing or company platitude nonsense.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:50
|
|
|
Also, another thing - The salesmen are required to do one hour of training every month so most of them will just join our department webinar and then many of them will just leave their phone on the passenger seat of their car while they're driving around, without muting the line to get credit without actually doing anything. We end up having to kick them because it just floods the 20+ person webinar with garbled car driving sounds.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:55
|
|
|
Lol “I love my banks mobile app”
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:56
|
|
|
That answer is actually worse than Candy Crush because at least that's a game your aunt gets enjoyment from.
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 22:57
|
|
|
Dilkington posted:Please someone teach me all your SAP tricks. No one can find our documentation and all the superusers have retired... Hire an SAP consultant (me, for a lot of money)
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 23:20
|
|
|
I should say for the record though, I do like my job conditions. I'm not in love with the company or work or sector or anything, but it's really really easy because the company has thousands of employees so the base requirements are insanely easy. The average person in the office is a cat lady who has no idea of anything except stamping forms and sending scanned pages to another department via email. Cogs in the machine. This means that for people like me who are pretty computer-toucher-y, I can do all my work in 30 minutes of an hour at the beginning of the day, and then I spend the rest of the day taking naps, playing video games, watching HBO shows, etc. For a while there I was even going to the apartment gym at 10:00AM for an hour before they closed it down. If I got a call I would just step out of the weight room and answer it, or use Google Chrome Remote Desktop to control my PC in the office at home. All of my work is done via web apps, email and phone calls anyways, with no need to really be physically present. I know some people out there are hurting, but our company is doing great and very profitable. I've been selling options and making twice as much money doing that than I do from my real salary for the past few months as well, so being at home allows me to focus on that, which is basically my real, passion work these days. My actual job is more of an afterthought. Working from home has been one of the best years of my life and I hope we just go permanently remote, maybe my boss can justify it with saving on the energy bill and having more space in the office or something. edit: I also 100%ed Stardew Valley, Cyberpunk 2077, and watched all of Boardwalk Empire, Deadwood + Deadwood The Movie, The Office UK (again), a bunch of movies, and a watched fuckload of YouTube, all on the company dime. Working from home rules (for me)(for now). AHH F/UGH fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Feb 1, 2021 |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2021 23:42
|
|
|
Sometimes at work I daydream about being a civil servant in post-war France. Spend most of your morning picking stationary for letters you'll write in the afternoon- courteous responses to courteous inquiries from men in their own sinecures. File a few municipal documents hurriedly before you rush off to dinner. A voie sacree to a pharaoh's retirement.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 00:39
|
|
|
Dilkington posted:Please someone teach me all your SAP tricks. No one can find our documentation and all the superusers have retired... Congratulations, you're basically an SAP consultant. Have enhancements and the Google standard sounds different than what you should do? Whatever you do, do not learn the differences. This is how you end up getting a call at 1:30 am to please to be running zptc_clown_shoes to support quarter close because noone else knows how that report works.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 01:09
|
|
|
Noblesse Obliged posted:I’m on the opposite side of this. IT is so dogmatic and controlling that I just go around them and implement solutions in parallel with our systems or just install my own network and hire someone to make things work. Sounds like fun until your company hires someone like Simon Travaglia
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 01:17
|
|
|
Outrail posted:Watched everyone quit and promoted me to run the company. I have exactly zero management experience or training. I can no longer tell if this is a joke or not. explosivo posted:When talking to my boss about how loving asinine this is his response was a shrug emoji. They should ban that emoji from Slack. That emoji means "there's nothing I can do about it, just hunker down and deal with it before it inevitably gets pulled. As for me, we're getting to do our self reviews for work done from October, last year, to March, this year. In February.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 01:26
|
|
|
CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:Sounds like fun until your company hires someone like Simon Travaglia I like to wait until he goes to the shitter then pound on the stall door and ask him if his turd cutter is sharp
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 01:29
|
|
|
Im a fake systems engineer for a defense contractor that contracts with a government agency that has essentially unlimited amounts of money. As in endless, bottomless well amounts of money. Despite this the thin client cloud based virtual desktops we use have massive lag and all my typing takes twice as long because I make tons of mistakes when there’s huge typing lag. Every email, design document, procedure, or report takes twice as long as it should due to this desktop environment. It’s amazingly bad considering the funding available.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 02:05
|
|
|
Someone got hurt working from home so we had a briefing where they taught us how to sit in chairs and open drawers. vvvv they cut their hand vvvv Full Metal Jackass fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Feb 1, 2021 |
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 18:10
|
|
|
^ what was the injury? RSI to the wrist? Volmarias posted:I can no longer tell if this is a joke or not. I am 100% serious. The wages increase just leveled it up to just under industry average, so not the grift it could have been. But otherwise it's as ridiculous as it reads.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 20:22
|
|
|
I remember that one goon (I think it was a goon) who posted about his job and becoming manager of a non-existent department and doing nothing all day until eventually the gravy train ran out. That sounds goddamn amazing and I pray it one day happens to me.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 20:43
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:I remember that one goon (I think it was a goon) who posted about his job and becoming manager of a non-existent department and doing nothing all day until eventually the gravy train ran out. That sounds goddamn amazing and I pray it one day happens to me. Here ya go! from "Graveyard Grandma" who sadly doesn't seem to be active anymore https://sites.google.com/site/forgottenemployee/
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 20:57
|
|
|
My current job (HR) is a sweet deal where I make more money for less work and stress than I've ever had in a prior position. A few jobs back I worked for a software startup that only existed because its parent company blew a million dollars working on a proof of concept for some in-house software and the CEO spun it off as it's own company to try and make the money back (and it gave him something to actively meddle with). I had an 8 hour monthly meeting with the CEO to work out development tasks for the month, which were typed up and went into a program that the dev team did not have access to. When a dev needed a new task, I would physically print one out and hand it to them, then they would checkmark it and hand it back to me when done. At the end of the month the check marked task sheets were given to the CEO and reconciled vs goals (it always fell short because of bugs, requirement bloat, etc). It was inefficient as hell but the CEO liked it because he didn't want the developers to "worry" about anything other than whatever arbitrary task they were specifically assigned at any given time. They didn't even have access to the project roadmap. We eventually implemented a quasi-scrum system but it was an uphill fight.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:12
|
|
|
BigSexy posted:One thing I like about my company is there’s no forced “bonding” bullshit. They pay us well and expect a lot from us but I’m at work to work, not hang out. I see now writing this makes me seem like an rear end in a top hat but I have a family and friends outside work, I don’t need to hang out with work people outside of work or take time away from regular projects Yeah my work tried to do a few things like that and I told them I'm never doing that again, leave me alone and let me work/shitpost in peace ffs. Forced bonding is basically emotional rape if you think about it Neco posted:No it‘s fine. Bonding opportunitiesare great. Mandatory bonding is bullshit. And I am pretty sure it‘s normal you are off the clock for those in the US right? Mine was all paid but it's still cringey bullshit that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:21
|
|
|
My boss has been my boss for roughly 3 years now. I have never met him in person and for the last 8 months he hasn't had a single conference call or meeting with our group. I've spoken to him for about a combined 3 hours in the entire time I've worked for him. Over the summer we were supposed to give him our feedback on his management, he just made up all the responses and sent them to corporate. When somebody questioned him he said he didn't want to tie us up with a pointless meeting. So he gave himself good to average feedback and claimed it was from us, and the only reason we found out was because they emailed us "our" feedback to review after the fact. All of this would be fine except for the fact that he finally chose this past Friday to wake up and "manage" us, by replying to a group email discussing our Friday night plans (which ranged from "I'm gonna drink a beer" to "I'm going to drink a glass of wine") by saying it was wildly inappropriate and a misuse of Company (his capitalization, not mine) email.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:24
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:My boss has been my boss for roughly 3 years now. I have never met him in person and for the last 8 months he hasn't had a single conference call or meeting with our group. I've spoken to him for about a combined 3 hours in the entire time I've worked for him. Lord I pray for a boss that would be non-existent.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:41
|
|
|
What kind of helljobs are you people in where they make you dance on zoom calls? That honestly sounds so ridiculous to me, holy poo poo
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:44
|
|
|
My boss is based in AU and it’s loving fantastic. Super hands off but will be there for you if need be. Her managing ethos is as long as the work gets done it’s fine.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:48
|
|
|
Jeza posted:This is my first job in COVID times since I finished my MA in December and it's pretty weird to just...work during the day and nobody is ever looking in on me. There are no meetings on a Friday, so I just went through the whole day and didn't speak to anyone other than via little popup comments. Pretty chill. Something I love about working for my org is that my "supervisor" isn't actually my supervisor and does no supervision, much less even show up in the office. I have my own little section of the office where I can do whatever the gently caress I want and never get bothered by anyone. I can get through an entire workday saying a grand total of about five words, all noncommittal greetings. If I wanted to I could simply post on something awful all day long and no one would know or care. And I may have done just that on certain occasions
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:52
|
|
|
Play posted:Something I love about working for my org is that my "supervisor" isn't actually my supervisor and does no supervision, much less even show up in the office. I have my own little section of the office where I can do whatever the gently caress I want and never get bothered by anyone. I can get through an entire workday saying a grand total of about five words, all noncommittal greetings. If I wanted to I could simply post on something awful all day long and no one would know or care. And I may have done just that on certain occasions My job is about the same. My work is fairly compartmentalized and my office is at the edge of the department so no one ever has a reason to talk to me. I've had weeks where I had no interaction with coworkers other than seeing people as we arrive and leave for the day. It's awesome.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 21:57
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:My boss has been my boss for roughly 3 years now. I have never met him in person and for the last 8 months he hasn't had a single conference call or meeting with our group. I've spoken to him for about a combined 3 hours in the entire time I've worked for him. This dude is fully expecting to get fired and grifting as long as he can
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 22:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 08:58 |
|
|
CyberPingu posted:Chukcing unmanaged devices and unvetted software into essentially production environments. Bypassing IT policies and risk measures. Not only that he’s throwing a ton of non vetted solutions in place that the IT group now has to support, and unless he has insight into their workload (I highly doubt it because most execs seem to think if you aren’t powerwalking around to individual cubes you ain’t working). Before we had a real need for wireless at our branches we had a district manager I called “Johnny WAPleseed” because he’d go snag a cheap wireless router and slam it into their networks so he didn’t have to plug in (At the time he was one of like six employees with a laptop). Each branch he visited began seeing poo poo like port storms and dueling DHCP devices (one of them factory default configuration) and our lovely little managed HP switches for these six person shops didn’t have the intelligence to shut that poo poo down like our current merakis do. Took me a bit to realize he was showing up and doing this as I wasn’t privy to his schedule. God knows how much money he cost us.
|
|
#
?
Feb 1, 2021 22:12
|
|