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Read your kid Neuromancer and they'll be prepared for the future/present
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Feb 14, 2021 20:38
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Mooey Cow posted:Read your kid Neuromancer and they'll be prepared for the future/present i long for the day i can just plug my brain into a computer and gently caress off for eternity get me out of this wretched meatsack immediately
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Feb 14, 2021 20:44
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If you want to make sure your kid is forever disinterested in LOTR, try starting them off with The Hobbit, but make sure it's the version with this cover. My dad got me this as a kid, and it worked like a charm! I could not have been more disinterested in the adventures of some fat doofus.
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Feb 14, 2021 21:01
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LadyPictureShow posted:If you want to make sure your kid is forever disinterested in LOTR, try starting them off with The Hobbit, but make sure it's the version with this cover. Why is Squidward in The Hobbit?
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Feb 14, 2021 21:02
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hbag posted:i long for the day i can just plug my brain into a computer and gently caress off for eternity Wow someone’s never played Mario kart.
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Feb 14, 2021 21:03
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hbag posted:i long for the day i can just plug my brain into a computer and gently caress off for eternity That's Mona Lisa Overdrive
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Feb 14, 2021 21:14
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LadyPictureShow posted:If you want to make sure your kid is forever disinterested in LOTR, try starting them off with The Hobbit, but make sure it's the version with this cover. Do you want the good news or the bad news? The bad news is that Smaug has burned down your village. Gutting, I know. On the bright side, I found this ring, so... There’s no good news Bilbo, there’s only bad news and irrelevant news.
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Feb 14, 2021 21:49
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Read them warhammer 40k books so they run around screaming Blood for the Blood God
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Feb 14, 2021 21:50
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Have you considered showing your spawn this instead? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobitit
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Feb 14, 2021 21:56
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you guys are bumming me out with all this tom bombadil hate
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Feb 14, 2021 22:06
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muffler posted:you guys are bumming me out with all this tom bombadil hate not casting will ferrel as tom in the movies was a crime
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Feb 14, 2021 22:23
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Tom Bombadolt Tolkien sucked, he thought way too highly of himself and his work
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Feb 14, 2021 22:27
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Singing full on songs with lyrics and all in books is really dumb 95% of the time
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Feb 14, 2021 22:30
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Feb 14, 2021 22:31
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp8_FzJO458
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Feb 14, 2021 22:36
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muffler posted:you guys are bumming me out with all this tom bombadil hate Real talk Tom bombadil was one of my favorite guys in the books because while everyone is running around all dramatic like fighting dumb wars, he's just skipping through the woods high as a kite doing his own thing and sometimes saving idiots who get lost near his woods. He also has a mega hot wife that I presume he bonka bim bones every night. It's just his songs and all the other songs are so very annoying.
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Feb 14, 2021 22:42
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Hey, Tom Bombadil Tom Bombadildo
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Feb 14, 2021 22:49
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My children must defeat me in a first to 10 in street fighter to get anything from me.
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Feb 14, 2021 23:52
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tom bombadil fuckin owns
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Feb 15, 2021 01:36
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tom bumbaclot
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Feb 15, 2021 01:41
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everyone at council of elrond: lets give tom Bombadil the ring! gandalf: ehhhhh i'm not sure about that, he's been real flakey
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Feb 15, 2021 01:42
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Sometimes I wish everyone had just told gandolf to gently caress off with his bullshit. We get it gandolf. Christ.
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Feb 15, 2021 02:11
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Waterbed Wendy posted:tom bumbaclot loving 
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Feb 15, 2021 02:33
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His friends knew him as tommy
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Feb 15, 2021 02:35
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lord of the rings sucks but one of my clients has this grey cat named gandalf and he's a big cutie patoot and i like it when i see him on zoom calls. maybe just get a cat
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Feb 15, 2021 02:39
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Cats friggin suck. Just get a real wizard
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Feb 15, 2021 02:42
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My son wants me to watch him play YMCA flag football I’m like buddy I can watch actual professional football players from the comfort of my own couch I’m not going out in the freezing rear end cold on a Saturday morning to watch a bunch of nine year olds who are nearly universally terrible at playing football.
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Feb 15, 2021 03:09
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Big Beef City posted:Cats friggin suck. Just get a real wizard What size litterbox do you recommend?
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Feb 15, 2021 03:25
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When she was young, if my daughter had insisted on me reading her Lord of the Rings I would have done it But I would have demanded a paternity test first before committing to that
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Feb 15, 2021 03:26
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You forgot the pages of songs about hobbits feet....
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Feb 15, 2021 03:27
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Madness posted:You forgot the pages of songs about hobbits feet.... Never speak this way about me again.
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Feb 15, 2021 04:18
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Empty Sandwich posted:my kids were clamoring for a bedtime story one night when it was really, really late and I was exhausted, so I pretend-angrily read them the first chapter of Finnegan's Wake, bowdlerizing the obvious cusses. Amazing.
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Feb 15, 2021 04:29
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man i miss being read bedtime stories ...actually i think i just miss being a dumbshit 5 year old with no responsibilities
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Feb 15, 2021 04:30
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Icochet posted:I like the very first Moomin that starts with Moomintroll trying to commit suicide Which story's this? I have a bunch of Mumin story books that I read from to my son from time to time but never encountered this one before, lol.
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Feb 15, 2021 09:20
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Do it ironically posted:Tom Bombadolt There's a story about Lewis and Tolkien panning Snow White because Disney was some dumb farm boy and imagine what it might have been had it been made by someone with education. So it's pretty funny they got their opuses adapted by Disney and fuckin' Ralph Bakshi, lol.
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Feb 15, 2021 11:59
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Empty Sandwich posted:loving Gollum is a baldhead. Smeagol is irie.
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Feb 15, 2021 14:47
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Das Boo posted:There's a story about Lewis and Tolkien panning Snow White because Disney was some dumb farm boy and imagine what it might have been had it been made by someone with education. interesting that it was two people who suck saying that. i wondered if they ever stepped back and considered that as people who suck they probably shouldn't throw stones
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Feb 15, 2021 14:48
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KonvexKonkav posted:Which story's this? I have a bunch of Mumin story books that I read from to my son from time to time but never encountered this one before, lol. iirc the first Moomin comic strip album starts with Moomintroll trying to drown himself and is fished up by Moominpappa who thinks it's barrel of whiskey
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Feb 15, 2021 15:06
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Thats misspelled, its a bundle of dicks , not sticks.
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Feb 15, 2021 19:31
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all of this suicide troll talk reminds me that the Wil Huygen gnome books are interesting and sometimes grim. these dudes: 
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Feb 15, 2021 19:32
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