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rotor posted:my wife fights me on this so hard and i will go to my grave never understanding it what side are you on? the reason I value it, is because I am the direct result of the opposite of it, and when I see people who did chores, I am jealous. people who aren't lazy pieces of poo poo who get poo poo done me? a lazy piece of poo poo who only gets the minimum done. its simply quite difficult to change a person who likes being lazy into a person who gets poo poo done, and raising kids to be people that get poo poo done, you protect them from this curse I spend half my life being lazy and the other half hating myself for never getting anything done. I hope for more for my kids tbh
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Feb 17, 2021 09:41
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actually they are shitlords and nothing matters have kids dont have kids idgaf just don't be a dick
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Feb 17, 2021 09:56
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if you don't teach your kids how to properly load a dishwasher or correctly operate a washing machine you are for sure loving up good habits like this can only really be adopted via repetition, but my understanding is that doing so isn't exactly a labor-saving endeavor for the parents
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Feb 17, 2021 10:12
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teaching the kids to help with stuff is at least three times the work of doing it yourself, and once they learn how to do it they get bored with it and getting them up to do it is about twice the work of just doing it yourself. it's still worth doing, but i definitely can't stick to having them do stuff all the time.
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Feb 17, 2021 10:21
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my wife is massively the product of never having done chores growing up I've had to teach her how to do things like cook, hitch a trailer, check oil, clean an oven, mow a lawn etc she is annoyed that she has to learn this poo poo too. but we still, after 15 years, still have moments where I can't believe she has never done some random life-thing
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Feb 17, 2021 10:23
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:if you don't teach your kids how to properly load a dishwasher or correctly operate a washing machine you are for sure loving up its almost like tho what you're trying to teach them is the habit of doing things that aren't just what they feel like doing. kids will naturally just thoughtlessly do what they want. you have to teach them, for example, to look around the room they are in, identify rubbish, and then pick it up and put it away. the lesson isnt the rubbish. the lesson is getting them to simply stop, observe, and think about what might need to be done. Stringent posted:teaching the kids to help with stuff is at least three times the work of doing it yourself, and once they learn how to do it they get bored with it and getting them up to do it is about twice the work of just doing it yourself. honestly I think theres a thing where kids copy what they see, for sure. and some parents talk to their kids in a respectful tone always (me), and sometimes parents talk to their kids in disrespectful ways (my gf), and you'll never guess which one of us has kids that dont talk back, and generally do what is asked of them. Gentle Autist posted:my wife is massively the product of never having done chores growing up intersting. see I know how to do most things, and in an ironic turn of events, when I got married, my wife said "im not going to be your mother", so I had to learn how to cook and clean and other things that traditionalyl women would have done. of course, as attempts at correcting for sexism often go, my wife never had any problem leaving me to be the only one who knew how to do traditionally man things, so when we separated I left with the full toolkit of skills, whereas she didn't. but that is still different from being raised with a kind of mentality that life requires effort. when it was the weekend my mum was like "just do whatever you want", and so the most important skill I never got was getting poo poo done. my gf on the other hand is a hard worker and even when she has time off she struggles to slow down. no side is perfect, but I would trade in my ability to relax for the skill to get anything done. i hate my job so much.. so why the gently caress dont i spend any time looking for a new one? piece of poo poo thats why I am mega in debt and have countless things around the house to sell so why dont I? piece of poo poo I pay $400 a month in credit card interest and yet still havent transferred the debt to a no interest card with a different bank.. why? you guessed it I am human dogshit of a person. my gf says "dont be so hard on yourself", but she cant see inside my brain to see why i am so deserved of self ridicule
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Feb 17, 2021 10:41
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Gentle Autist posted:my wife is massively the product of never having done chores growing up i used to live with a couple friends in a duplex shotgun house that didn't have laundry, so everyone in our household had to hit up a nearby laundromat as the only person with an office job, i had a different schedule than the other two who were waitresses one weekend we were all off and went and all did our laundry together, and i learned how these two women, one of which i'd known since highschool, had never actually learned how to use laundry detergent or like really do laundry in general. they'd just been winging it all dumping an entire, up to the rim, capful of detergent into the machine after indiscriminately cramming as many clothes and towels into the thing as it would fit when we got back i ended up winning a bet because i was able to make a pair of jeans washed in this way suds up by running it under the sink and rubbing at it lol
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Feb 17, 2021 10:45
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lol
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Feb 17, 2021 10:46
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:if you don't teach your kids how to properly load a dishwasher or correctly operate a washing machine you are for sure loving up People in general way underestimate what their kids are capable of once familiar with a task. As much as I spoil our kids rotten there's no escaping labor in this house. I'll sit with them for as long as it takes, but BY GAWD YOU GON' LEARN. Stringent posted:teaching the kids to help with stuff is at least three times the work of doing it yourself, and once they learn how to do it they get bored with it and getting them up to do it is about twice the work of just doing it yourself. evil_bunnY fucked around with this message at 13:35 on Feb 17, 2021 |
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Feb 17, 2021 13:30
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echinopsis posted:the one universal recommendation is get your kids doing chores early. they won’t begrudge it so much if it’s just normal and sets them up for adult life. me? i’m loving useless This!!! i'm so bad at doing anything until I go manic about at and then clean like one specific cupboard its such a pain now that chores are constantly needing doing. my child otoh loves cleaning (probably because we're always cleaning and he likes to join in) wife and i are also agreed that we will give our kid an allowance ( i never had one) but not pay them to do jobs around teh house because thats just something u need to do to when you live in the house
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Feb 17, 2021 21:48
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echinopsis posted:what side are you on? obviously i am pro-chores
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Feb 17, 2021 23:24
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what's her reasoning for being against chores?
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Feb 18, 2021 00:18
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Stringent posted:what's her reasoning for being against chores? that she didnt have them when she was a kid
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Feb 18, 2021 00:23
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that’s mega self ownage it’s meant to go like this first gen : has to do loads of chores as kids. hated it so wants to save child from chores so does chores for child next gen : doesn’t do chores as kid, but works out this was bad, so makes kids do loads of chores so they don’t end up the same rinse repeat
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Feb 18, 2021 00:31
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rotor posted:that she didnt have them when she was a kid that's interesting because my wife is anti-chores for kids and she did have them when she was a kid. her argument is that it's stifling and kids should have some time without the drudgery of laundry and washing dishes, although i can tell she's starting to think the oldest one has more or less grown out of that stage. maybe once he turns 10 we'll start getting some work out of him. efb, echi nailed it
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Feb 18, 2021 00:40
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echinopsis posted:that’s mega self ownage hoping to shoot for the middle ground of "just ebnough chores"
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Feb 18, 2021 00:57
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my response is just make them do poo poo that needs doing instead of saying "doing the dishes is your job from now on" i just tell the boy to do the dishes for reasons i dont fully understand this is fine, but assigning them ongoing work is no good
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Feb 18, 2021 00:59
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bobbilljim posted:hoping to shoot for the middle ground of "just ebnough chores" i'm shooting for a middle ground of if my wife or i is doing a chore and there's an unoccupied child around, said child gets roped into helping with the chore.
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Feb 18, 2021 01:00
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another widely employed approach.. do the job yourself, but making it absolutely clear to the child that they’re ungrateful shits and that you already work two jobs and have to clean up after them, and that it’s a massive burden etc etc
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Feb 18, 2021 02:03
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i think teh concept there is valid but the way u described it makes me think it sucks
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Feb 18, 2021 02:20
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CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:“you’re gonna want to learn this poo poo because its gonna make you wealthy in 20 years. here’s a c64 and a book on BASIC” weird, after posting this, 2 days after i came across this article and it was about the book. couldn't remember the name of it, but i recognized that cover immediately: 
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Feb 19, 2021 22:14
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i did chores as a kid and im still lazy as poo poo i had to pick 1000 eggs and mow the 1 acre lawn with a push mower, the amount of chores my kid would have to do seems trivial now that that i'm fully urban
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Feb 19, 2021 23:12
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same. mowed a big rear end yard and split lots of wood.
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Feb 20, 2021 03:21
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I mean if you want to have the kids learn things AND not do the work of teaching them you can just be a human who can't take care of themselves to the degree that the kids go through parental inversion and start taking care of you. They'll learn a lot! ask me how I know
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Feb 20, 2021 18:42
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My daughter regularly tells me and the wife to take a deep breath. Every now and then she's right, I've lost my chill, so I make a big show of being respectful and thankful and controlling my temper, taking a deep breath while in my head the words ring "drat I just got owned by a 3 year old"
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Feb 21, 2021 03:41
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My first "getting taken to task by your kids" story was when we were forcing coats on my daughter to go outside in some brisk new england autumn weather, and she went from "I don't want to" to "let's try it without a coat". gently caress you little girl, you're absolutely mature enough at three years old to experience the consequences of 55-60 degree weather for 5 minutes, that doesn't mean I'm ok with you haggling me down to a reasonable position over putting your coat on to go get the mail.
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Feb 21, 2021 03:45
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Perplx posted:i did chores as a kid and im still lazy as poo poo it’s not strictly the chores and also everyone learns a bit different the problem is allowing the kids to not be concerned at all with what needs to happen. i mean even if they only had to direct a maid to do things, at least they’d get an idea what what needs to be done. similarly having to do the things with no idea for why
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Feb 21, 2021 04:07
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TimWinter posted:My first "getting taken to task by your kids" story was when we were forcing coats on my daughter to go outside in some brisk new england autumn weather, and she went from "I don't want to" to "let's try it without a coat". my 3 year old has started matter-of-factly telling us that she doesn't need to do certain things, like wiping or washing her hands
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Feb 21, 2021 04:39
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troubling goonsign...
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Feb 21, 2021 05:00
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lol she’s embracing the hygiene hypothesis
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Feb 21, 2021 05:19
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looking forward to feeling old and useless as my kids roll their eyes and show me for the umpteenth time how to send a photo over the hypermatrix ("dad, they're not "photos" they're holographic manifolds! and you really should wear pants when you take them")
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Feb 23, 2021 01:00
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it’s far easier to say obvious misunderstanding things like “the pokemans” than trying but failing to understand their new forms of communication and understanding
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Feb 23, 2021 01:13
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i’m the snore lacks.
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Feb 23, 2021 03:16
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TimWinter posted:My daughter regularly tells me and the wife to take a deep breath. Every now and then she's right, I've lost my chill, so I make a big show of being respectful and thankful and controlling my temper, taking a deep breath while in my head the words ring "drat I just got owned by a 3 year old" My son does this too. My wife had a bit of a meltdown the other day and my kid went and got his yoga book, gave it to her, told her to breathe and patted her knee and went "you feel better now"
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Feb 26, 2021 10:54
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Mar 1, 2021 06:20
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echinopsis posted:it’s far easier to say obvious misunderstanding things like “the pokemans” than trying but failing to understand their new forms of communication and understanding
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Mar 1, 2021 16:41
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lol. my kid gets annoyed with me when i put emphasis on the wrong syllable in “ninjago”
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Mar 1, 2021 19:27
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he also used to absolutely insist that it was called “elmo’s square” and not “elmo’s world”. was like three though.
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Mar 1, 2021 19:28
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President Beep posted:he also used to absolutely insist that it was called “elmo’s square” and not “elmo’s world”. was like three though.
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Mar 1, 2021 19:29
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when I was little I insisted that cairo was in france. I have no idea where I got this idea
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Mar 1, 2021 19:31
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