SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

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Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

some plague rats posted:

I checked and quoting someone Having Opinions about age of consent stuff is like lighting the batsignal for Heath to arrive and divine their intentions. Come on lad don't be that guy

so i checked this out and this post makes complete sense in the context it was posted . are you sure you don't just have like things to maybe work out with yon therapiste instead

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:05

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:00

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Pick posted:

people make up a caricature of posters in their head and then get mad that person exists

It is known that one's avatar and their real life persona are one and the same. By buying someone an avatar, you basically change their entire life.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:06

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

like if u wanna treat das forums as a place where you try to find problems and then make them bigger problems , i get that's a popular past time but maybe for ease & fulfillment you should join a HOA or possibly the ball-jointed-doll fan community

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Paladinus posted:

It is known that one's avatar and their real life persona are one and the same. By buying someone an avatar, you basically change their entire life.

you look exactly like my gray cat who disappeared outside for a MONTH after I left the window slightly open and it was a huge pain in the rear end to get you back and you never loved me but you looooved the old lady nearby who for all I know still owns you because you consistently made it EXTREMELY clear that the things I did to endear myself to you would never make up for maybe giving you a food flavor you didn't like as much as the other food flavor a single time >:(

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:10

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; by sebmojo

Beamed posted:

I'm beginning to evolve my position here. We need to actually generate consistent new sagas to prevent this thread from becoming weird creepy slapfightsville. Someone go post in GBS about building your own house in the VA suburbs.

Remember that goon from the AFP thread who would take cans into movies to piss in without missing anything

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:23

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Paladinus posted:

It is known that one's avatar and their real life persona are one and the same. By buying someone an avatar, you basically change their entire life.

This is true, and I hereby apologize to those whose lives I've altered or ruined for the sake of making a surprise goof

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:25

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

What in God's name is happening

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:26

El_Elegante: Jul 3, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Biscuit Hider

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Remember that goon from the AFP thread who would take cans into movies to piss in without missing anything

There�s an alpha fetoprotein thread?

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:30

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Heath posted:

That really reads more like an ill-conceived legalistic interpretation of the situation than him saying "16 years is the hottest age" or whatever. The granular definitions of the pedophile rainbow is loving stupid but it isn't out of character for a career law enforcement officer to take a legalistic track on it. I don't remember him being especially age of consent proactive in other threads but it's been a long time.

lol at the implication that cops know, much less care, about the law.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:30

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Pick posted:

so i checked this out and this post makes complete sense in the context it was posted . are you sure you don't just have like things to maybe work out with yon therapiste instead

You seem to really love launching lovely little jabs about mental illness

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:41

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

shelley posted:

I don�t have it as a working quote, so I have no clue where it was first posted, but I do have the text, here it is:

PateraOctopus posted:
Alright, jerkfaces, time for a real man to enter this movie pitching game.

The film starts by establishing that the Pope is dying and it's only a matter of time before he passes on to the great pulpit in the sky. So our two heroes, who have heard of the fabled Stash of Saladin in the Vatican archives, trek to the Vatican knowing that everyone will be distracted preparing for the upcoming papal selection, and they plan to try to steal the weed. Hilarity ensues as they stumble through set piece after set piece, including the aforementioned communion-wafer munchies, a scene in which they hide a joint in what turns out to be a ceremonial censer and get an entire congregation a contact high, and I dunno, a scene where they need to fill a bong with holy water or something.

The climax comes when they're caught and pursued through the city by the Swiss Guard, and through a series of mishaps end up in the Room of Tears and disguise themselves in robes that they find there. They finally end up smoking their poo poo but get caught halfway through and run away, but since it's very special ancient weed the smoke ends up billowing white, so the group assembled in St. Peter's Square think a new Pope has been elected, and somehow the two end up on the balcony and everyone mistakes them for the Cardinal Protodeacon and the new Pope, so one of them has to give a speech (in a nod to The Great Dictator) and he ends up making a plea that everyone chill and be more real to each other and poo poo. And the speech goes over really well and everyone cheers and then we do a voice over by one of the guys saying that while he didn't actually become Pope everyone loved his speech so much that they were both given pardons by the real new Pope and they got the girls (earlier we will have established that they stirred some decidedly unchaste feelings in two young ladies who hadn't yet taken their final vows). Then after the credits we have a scene in which the new Pope goes down into the archive himself, locks the door behind him and takes a big hit off of Saladin's Stash and says "Ahhh...stercus bonus!" THE END

We call the film "The Most High," give it a tagline like "The dope is infallible" and release the fucker at Easter 2012. You're all welcome.

Captain Monkey posted:

Would be a good sequel to The Most High. Make it about a group of stoners in a more modern/stoner Animal House who are going to host a house party. They get into an argument about how to have the dankest weed and decide to go back in time and meet the chillest bro of them all, Jesus. They meet him at his �mad at the money changers� phase and introduce him to weed (obligatory Feeding the Multitude but joints, water to wine, Mary Jane Magdalene, a few others.)

End with Jesus showing up at the party for the and saves it because they taught Jesus to be cool. Their joints are turned into endless ones, their tap dispenses beer, and Jesus - who has previously been given the confidence he needed to hook up with MJ Magdalene looks over at a co-ed played by the same actress and goes �time for my Second Coming� as the movie cuts to credits.

Call it The Most High 2: Sacred Host.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:45

LordSaturn: Aug 12, 2007; sadly unfunny

Paladinus posted:

It is known that one's avatar and their real life persona are one and the same. By buying someone an avatar, you basically change their entire life.

in the spirit of the thread, here is a short saga about unwanted avatar changes

Paladinus posted:

Nice username/post combo.

This is actually the good webcomics thread. Or it alleges to be one.

E: ahahaha, holy poo poo, someone got me a klurf av.

Paladinus posted:

A really cool person, who had to look up klurf porn, lovingly crop it, and spend actual money to make it my av.

Paladinus posted:

Thank you. I'm not going to miss the obscene klurf any time soon.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 21:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

some plague rats posted:

You seem to really love launching lovely little jabs about mental illness

You can keep whipping out your crap poo poo rhetoric from which you launch your smarmy little attacks from your massive Grievances.xls file but you're a *looks in reference book* piece of cow puke

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:22

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Goons, you cant fight here, this is the ~~war room~~ sagas thread!

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:25

Beamed: Nov 26, 2010; Then you have a responsibility that no man has ever faced. You have your fear which could become reality, and you have Godzilla, which is reality.

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Remember that goon from the AFP thread who would take cans into movies to piss in without missing anything

no, holy poo poo, what?

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:25

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Pick posted:

i mean...................... usually , yeah

moved on from dragon age?

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:30

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

RFC2324 posted:

moved on from dragon age?

Oh god, now she's never gonna STFU about her Bashir x Anders fanfics...

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:32

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Who What Now posted:

Oh god, now she's never gonna STFU about her Bashir x Anders fanfics...

to be fair, if you are gonna ship someone from DA

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:33

EasilyConfused: Nov 21, 2009; one strong toad

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Remember that goon from the AFP thread who would take cans into movies to piss in without missing anything

I said six months, not three days.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:34

Aceofblue: Feb 26, 2009

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Remember that goon from the AFP thread who would take cans into movies to piss in without missing anything

EasilyConfused posted:

I said six months, not three days.

Nope, forum canon now. It's forever.

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Who What Now posted:

Oh god, now she's never gonna STFU about her Bashir x Anders fanfics...

Can love bloom on the battlefield of Darfur?

# ? Feb 21, 2021 22:54

xtal: Jan 9, 2011; by Fluffdaddy

I heard he even talked to the managers about it

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:02

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Heath posted:

That really reads more like an ill-conceived legalistic interpretation of the situation than him saying "16 years is the hottest age" or whatever. The granular definitions of the pedophile rainbow is loving stupid but it isn't out of character for a career law enforcement officer to take a legalistic track on it. I don't remember him being especially age of consent proactive in other threads but it's been a long time.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): I'm existing just for listing!!! > SA's Greatest Sagas: granular definitions of the pedophile rainbow

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:08

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

multijoe posted:

He definitely bragged about giving guys beatings for 'resisting arrest' and got banned for making 'sixteen is scientifically the hottest age' posts, so it really wasn't spun out of nothing

The phrase tokaii would use is "repeatedly subdue"

CannonFodder has a new favorite as of 23:16 on Feb 21, 2021

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:14

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Who What Now posted:

lol at the implication that cops know, much less care, about the law.

Everyone who has ever been like "cops would make the best criminals" should read all of tokaiis posts and remember that every cops is sausage-fingered dullard who's so used to acting with impunity they've forgotten there's such an idea as consequences

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:39

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Pick posted:

you look exactly like my gray cat who disappeared outside for a MONTH after I left the window slightly open and it was a huge pain in the rear end to get you back and you never loved me but you looooved the old lady nearby who for all I know still owns you because you consistently made it EXTREMELY clear that the things I did to endear myself to you would never make up for maybe giving you a food flavor you didn't like as much as the other food flavor a single time >

I forgive you.

Assistant Manager Devil posted:

This is true, and I hereby apologize to those whose lives I've altered or ruined for the sake of making a surprise goof

I forgive you.

LordSaturn posted:

in the spirit of the thread, here is a short saga about unwanted avatar changes

I also forgive the klurf avatar person (who might be you).

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:41

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

There is almost certainly some KF person out there with an account and a folder full of klurf avatars that they spent hours curating just to hand out

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:45

Hodgepodge: Jan 29, 2006; Can't post for 243 days!

brain scans have proven it- guys find females most attractive when they are 16,000,000 year old greater baeloths (neutral evil)

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:49

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

"no one knows that I have all these klurves"

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:49

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Empty Sandwich posted:

"no one knows that I have all these klurves"

C:\Jeremy's Desktop\Files\random stuff\secrets\klurf avatars\goon_enemies.xls

# ? Feb 21, 2021 23:53

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Jeremy keeps his enemies list in the same folder as his klurf avatars? What a weirdo.

# ? Feb 22, 2021 00:03

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

How else is he supposed to track which avatars he's already used

# ? Feb 22, 2021 00:06

rodbeard: Jul 21, 2005

Who What Now posted:

Oh god, now she's never gonna STFU about her Bashir x Anders fanfics...

I know nothing about Dragon Age so this is a DS9 Workaholics crossover in my mind.

# ? Feb 22, 2021 00:38

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Pick seems like she'd crush hard on Workaholics Anders so that tracks

# ? Feb 22, 2021 00:45

perepelki: Dec 11, 2020; know before Whom you stand

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

granular definitions of the pedophile rainbow

# ? Feb 22, 2021 00:56

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Paladinus posted:

I also forgive the klurf avatar person (who might be you).

it was me and it was intended as a gift

# ? Feb 22, 2021 01:02

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

I haven't seen a worse thought out gift since that time I bought a TCC goon a guided tour of the Parisian catacombs.

# ? Feb 22, 2021 01:42

One More Fat Nerd: Apr 13, 2007; Mama’s Lil’ Louie; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

the most sexy age for a woman is whatever Gillian Anderson is doing

Ftfy

One More Fat Nerd has a new favorite as of 02:00 on Feb 22, 2021

# ? Feb 22, 2021 01:56

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Pick posted:

the most sexy age for a woman is whatever glenn close is doing

# ? Feb 22, 2021 02:18

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 16:00

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

it was me and it was intended as a gift

I forgive you.

# ? Feb 22, 2021 02:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: "You know who can help with this? The pig balls website."

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