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luminalflux posted:When my now wife moved in, she didn’t pay half because I made significantly more. She paid what we agreed was fair (pretty much what she paid for her room in her old place). No big fights over it either When we got together, my wife was in college, then law school. I had had a house for 7+ years when we met. When she moved in, I paid for everything and since then, we collectively pooled all money. She now makes several times what I do, so it's not all bad. Edit: As an aside, we've joked (but are serious) that I should have been the lawyer out of the two of us. She isn't a big fan of disagreement, and I've got no problem throwing down. 
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Mar 1, 2021 23:24
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EVERYWHERE 
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Quick story about auto debit nightmares. We had a death in the family a few years back and my wife and I were basically looking after wrapping up all the accounts for the deceased. One of her creditors was Telus, a Canadian telco company that also does TV. The deceased had 2 PVRs. So I called Telus to cancel the account and it was shockingly easy. They said to drop the PVRs off at a mail outlet and send them in which I did. 2-3 months later, going through the banking statement and we saw a Telus auto debit of something like $600+ which obviously surprised me. Called them asking what it was for. They said it was for failure to return the PVRs after we closed the account so they charged for them. "But I did"... to which they replied "prove it." So, I dug out the postal tracking receipt which I saved (because I feared something like this) which plainly showed delivered to Telus. They agreed to refund the charge without a ton of fuss once they realized they were in the wrong. It took something like 3 or 4 months. If it was someone living paycheck to paycheck, that would have suuuuucked. gently caress. That.
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Mar 1, 2021 23:24
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To be fair, if we started dating and you said you didn’t like my friends and it was them or you, I’d laugh in your face and say so long, regardless of how lovely you think they are. 
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Mar 1, 2021 23:43
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Tomarse posted:Overdraft fees that are more than the aforementioned $150 penalty for late rent payment? An individual overdraft fee, no. A stack of overdraft fees, especially when banks have been found to re-order transactions largest-to-smallest to make sure the account goes negative sooner, yes. Yes, our banking system is hosed, like every other American system. It's designed to make it very expensive to be any variation of "poor".
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Mar 1, 2021 23:54
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Applebees Appetizer posted:Haha, I was totally the work related part but not because of being a peter pan, I just didn't take any bullshit and didn't care if i'd be homeless or not so I'd walk out whenever somebody pissed me off Lol I did this when I was addicted to pain pills right out of college. I was making enough money day trading crypto poo poo coins that I always had enough for next months expenses (which were like $1000 altogether) and I would just hop from lovely call center job to lovely call center job. For what I was trying to do at the time (gently caress around and avoid sobriety) it really was not that bad. Goober Peas posted:I don't wanna grow up. I'm a Toys 'R Us kid. F Deteriorata posted:"I'll never grow up, I'll never get old." Applebees Appetizer posted:That's a huge red flag man, just saying. Yeah pretty much this. I got off the phone with her like 30 minutes ago and I brought up my concerns that she's upset with me. She told me yesterday that she was heading over and then just never showed up or responded to my texts or whatever which I thought was rude. She told me that she just fell asleep but still just text me that you're too tired or something idk. Or at least text me in the morning idk I don't think that's crazy. Anyways that led me to think she was upset or done with me or something. So anyways I talk to her about it and she tells me that she's upset because I didn't offer to help her carry her cats litter box to the car? And that I never asked to come over to her place (she lives with her parents)? She never brought up any of this before so I guess she just figured if she pouted long enough that I would figure it out? I mean none of this would be a problem I just didn't know what was going on. It's just ridiculous. I got so angry that I just told her I had to go and got her off the phone before I said something I would regret. Probably going to break up with her unless something changes but I'm sure that it will not. I really do not have time for this kind of bullshit.
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Mar 1, 2021 23:54
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64bit_Dophins posted:She told me yesterday that she was heading over and then just never showed up or responded to my texts or whatever which I thought was rude. She told me that she just fell asleep If that was the case, when she "woke up," the reasonable (and truthful) thing to do is to text you about it...  T-Square posted:To be fair, if we started dating and you said you didn’t like my friends and it was them or you, I’d laugh in your face and say so long, regardless of how lovely you think they are. In the immortal words of Biz Markie -- Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just "has a friend." meatpimp fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Mar 2, 2021 |
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Mar 2, 2021 00:00
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T-Square posted:To be fair, if we started dating and you said you didn’t like my friends and it was them or you, I’d laugh in your face and say so long, regardless of how lovely you think they are. I thought the same thing when she said it. She really does talk about them a lot. Like to the point where it's kinda strange to me. Anyways I was not sure how serious it would be. I guess going forward you should just believe people when they tell you things like this.
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Mar 2, 2021 00:08
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My ex wife never wanted to hang out with my friends, and she didn't like my parents. Those were two huge red flags I should have seen waving. To be fair, I didn't really like her friends either, and in the ultimate of ironies, she burned all her bridges and all her friends ditched her one by one over the course of like 5 years. She was just really selfish. But enough about my lovely marriage. Unless there's something else going on, if she's making $16 an hour, $550 is right around 25% of take home, basically one out of 4 weeks pay. That's totally doable so wtf. If you guys were a couple years in and engaged or something, sure - move in and I'll cover it. But "hi we just met, let me live for free" is  gently caress THAT
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Mar 2, 2021 00:28
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I'm lucky as poo poo, I bought my hellhole house for less cash than most people spend on a down payment and had a head start on basically everything when I met my wife, so I never even really considered charging her rent at all, since aside from ongoing repair costs it costs like, $4k a year to keep this place running, in a town where a 2 bedroom apartment in a triple decker costs 1400+ a month. Her smart financial management choices and savings are the only reason we are currently solvent, I was a financial trainwreck (no credit history to note, hadn't put anything in a 401k in 4 years, etc) when we met. With how the market is currently looking I'm just hoping we'll make a fat stack of cash on this place when we sell and it should be enough to easily cover the costs of building the next place without a construction loan. I hope the market doesn't crash, but if it does, it certainly will make my life easier by way of there being plenty of staff time available at the county development office to answer my dumb questions and plenty of site work and concrete contractors sitting on their asses for me to choose from instead of it being impossible to get a contractor on site in less than 2 months like it is now.
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Mar 2, 2021 00:57
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LloydDobler posted:My ex wife never wanted to hang out with my friends, and she didn't like my parents. Those were two huge red flags I should have seen waving. To be fair, I didn't really like her friends either, and in the ultimate of ironies, she burned all her bridges and all her friends ditched her one by one over the course of like 5 years. She was just really selfish. But enough about my lovely marriage. Yeah it's not a great situation. At least I can rest easy now that I have pretty much made up my mind about it. I am not going back to the hellscape that is online dating though, so I'm probably just going to be alone for awhile. It is probably for the best haha.
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Mar 2, 2021 01:20
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One of my biggest mistakes was paying my girlfriends rent (now ex wife). Where we got married and then expected to do nothing. I would advise against this and the girl hanging out with door heads when you are trying to stay sober is already enough to run. Side thought: are people somehow getting free money? Because I can’t get anyone to do anything unless I call in favors. Literally have cash to pay and no one will fix a gutter, clean a floor etc... that I would trust knowing my address and even if I asked them I’d say 90% chance they would not respond.
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Mar 2, 2021 01:30
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64bit_Dophins posted:I am not going back to the hellscape that is online dating though, so I'm probably just going to be alone for awhile. It is probably for the best haha. Solidarity.   There's one lady I know who I'm kinda into but she lives in the US and I don't and honestly I'm not even sure if she's into dudes let alone me specifically.
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Mar 2, 2021 01:43
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64bit_Dophins posted:Yeah it's not a great situation. Look, it's none of my business so take this with a huge grain of salt or whatever. If you really like this girl I think it's worth at least having a discussion about how communication should be using your words with each other instead of letting things stew and expecting the other person to figure it out. It just seems a little odd to be like "hey she had a problem and didn't tell me about it" and then you have a problem and instead of telling her about it you're just like "gently caress it I'm done." Maybe you'll be done anyway, but "I really like you, I'm just not ready to move in with you yet and when we do I think we should be responsible with finances and split expenses in a way that makes sense." Or "look, I like you a lot but I don't want to play competitive smash bros and hang out with folks doing drugs but I don't expect you to want to spend hours crawling around under a rusted out 1989 volvo wagon and I think it's good we have stuff we do together and stuff we do just for ourselves." seem like they could go a long way toward figuring out whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. e: as long as I'm doling out unsolicited advice. Kazinsal posted:Solidarity. Just ask her and don't make it weird. "hey, you seem awesome but I'm not sure if you're into me or not. It's cool if not but I have to at least ask." and then just be normal if she says no. voila! scary, sure but if you don't drive through a blizzard to bring home a ridiculous project car when you have a kid on the way and fourteen other projects to finish from time to time then you'll never end up with a finished project car (pretty sure that's how the saying goes). builds character fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Mar 2, 2021 |
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Mar 2, 2021 02:53
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Kazinsal posted:Solidarity. I have one and she likes me back but she lives in NYC (I’m in Atlanta) 😭😭😭 But yeah online dating... Don’t want to go back to that. A bunch of horrible dates and rejections haha. Almost not worth the effort in my experience lol.
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Mar 2, 2021 02:53
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Shop took a brand new 27' center console with twin yamaha 200's out on a seatrial this weekend. It grenaded one of the motors during said trial. Tear down was this morning and it turns out someone filled it with two-stroke oil. This boat manufacturer sends the motors to us pre oiled, but claims it wasn't them because they don't even have two stroke oil in their shop, it must be us or the engine manufacturer who did it. Except I did a quick inventory of my two stroke oil and its all accounted for from before the boat got here and the engine manufacturer ships them out dry. Oh, and the warranty coordinator who would deal with this quit last week. This is gonna be a fun week. 
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Mar 2, 2021 03:39
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builds character posted:Look, it's none of my business so take this with a huge grain of salt or whatever. If you really like this girl I think it's worth at least having a discussion about how communication should be using your words with each other instead of letting things stew and expecting the other person to figure it out. It just seems a little odd to be like "hey she had a problem and didn't tell me about it" and then you have a problem and instead of telling her about it you're just like "gently caress it I'm done." Maybe you'll be done anyway, but "I really like you, I'm just not ready to move in with you yet and when we do I think we should be responsible with finances and split expenses in a way that makes sense." Or "look, I like you a lot but I don't want to play competitive smash bros and hang out with folks doing drugs but I don't expect you to want to spend hours crawling around under a rusted out 1989 volvo wagon and I think it's good we have stuff we do together and stuff we do just for ourselves." seem like they could go a long way toward figuring out whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I think you are right. I'm going to try and talk it over with her the next time we hang out. If it doesn't work out from then I think I'm just going to cut the cord.
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Mar 2, 2021 03:43
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meatpimp posted:In the immortal words of Biz Markie -- Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just "has a friend."  My wife and I didn’t live together until we were married. I had my apartment and she had roommates. After we got married we joined our bank accounts. it’s worked so far. We don’t ‘keep score’ because neither of us would survive without the other. Separate but equal. I would not be cool with her hanging out with dudes to Smash (bros). That’s way too easy of an alibi.  ‘Hey what have you been up to?’ ‘Oh just the usual smash bros’ ‘Smash Bros is a great game!’ ‘...yep’
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Mar 2, 2021 03:51
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64bit_Dophins posted:But yeah online dating... Don’t want to go back to that. A bunch of horrible dates and rejections haha. Almost not worth the effort in my experience lol. I got horrible dates and rejections with online dating, but I also found my now wife on there. I got relationships out of OkCupid, but on tinder? I got stories
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Mar 2, 2021 03:59
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Somewhat Heroic posted:
If you don't trust her anywhere, why are you with her? I don't understand.
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Mar 2, 2021 04:12
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Somewhat Heroic posted:I would not be cool with her hanging out with dudes to Smash (bros). That’s way too easy of an alibi. How would it be any different if she was going over to do book club or knitting? Anything can be an alibi
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Mar 2, 2021 04:17
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taqueso posted:How would it be any different if she was going over to do book club or knitting? Anything can be an alibi That depends, are they getting drunk at the book club and and snorting rails of coke while knitting?
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Mar 2, 2021 04:46
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Applebees Appetizer posted:That depends, are they getting drunk at the book club and and snorting rails of coke while knitting? Book clubs and knitting would be really boring otherwise, so hopefully
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Mar 2, 2021 04:47
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I think it was a joke lol. I've made up my mind, I gotta do something else for money these days. I feel that I can do each part of my job competently, and the entire job poorly. Which really is that I can do most of my job well, I think I compromise some parts chasing the best solution. I've been feeling this way for a while and I can't break through that part. What a pain in the rear end it is. Trying to find that job that values my wrong experience instead of saying it's irrelevant or at the worst, actively harmful. I heard that one last year, pissed me off a little. Oh I know too much about managing construction that it would get in the way of estimating costs.
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Mar 2, 2021 04:54
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Applebees Appetizer posted:That depends, are they getting drunk at the book club and and snorting rails of coke while knitting? People getting drunk at book club I can confirm is a thing. When I was mid 20s I would have snorted some coke if someone offered while we were knitting but I've never been into knitting
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Mar 2, 2021 04:54
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I’ve totally drunk booze while knitting with friends. No hard drugs tho that’s not my jam.
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Mar 2, 2021 04:59
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LloydDobler posted:My ex wife never wanted to hang out with my friends, and she didn't like my parents. Those were two huge red flags I should have seen waving. To be fair, I didn't really like her friends either, and in the ultimate of ironies, she burned all her bridges and all her friends ditched her one by one over the course of like 5 years. She was just really selfish. But enough about my lovely marriage. I bunked with my now wife rent free for 2 years. But I mean I'm pretty sure I spent more than her mortgage on groceries alone and her ring was worth more than the equity she had in the place when we moved so y'all can gently caress right off with the idea that I was squatting on it.
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Mar 2, 2021 05:00
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StormDrain posted:I think it was a joke lol. I know it was, but I chose to take it seriously anyways
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Mar 2, 2021 05:31
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Crossposting for those interested in one:
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Mar 2, 2021 10:43
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I've definitely done a lot of drugs while knitting (I recommend mdma or grass) On another topic my new flat has gently caress all reception so I've been on sub 3g internet for a fortnight, beginning to see why they call it edge lol. Hopefully my ISP unfucks my nbn connection soon or I will look like randy from that south park episode where they replaced the kfc with a medical weed place
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Mar 2, 2021 12:32
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Tomarse posted:American  slidebite posted:Quick story about auto debit nightmares. everdave posted:Side thought: are people somehow getting free money? Because I can’t get anyone to do anything unless I call in favors. Literally have cash to pay and no one will fix a gutter, clean a floor etc... that I would trust knowing my address and even if I asked them I’d say 90% chance they would not respond. Wife and I split costs based on income and it's worked very well over the years. She's going back to school for a few years so there's a bit more on me but it'll work out good when she graduates and makes a lot more than she was...plus getting away from a lovely toxic work environment.
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Mar 2, 2021 12:58
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Work van has a parking ticket. Work van is parked on company property. Ticket issued by an external company we pay. So basically we've paid a company to roam the premises to stick fines on our vehicles, fines we pay to that same company. 
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Mar 2, 2021 13:07
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NitroSpazzz posted:Wife and I split costs based on income and it's worked very well over the years. She's going back to school for a few years so there's a bit more on me but it'll work out good when she graduates and makes a lot more than she was...plus getting away from a lovely toxic work environment. I've never even thought of this. I make substantially more than the missus. Our money first is split between our individual costs (phones, cars), then pooled for communal bills (rates, power, internet). The rest is split in a percentage of our 'walking around town money' and our savings.
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Mar 2, 2021 13:36
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I recognize different things work for different people but I don't think I would ever consider not combining money fully in a marriage. Just seems to be an administrative hassle and you should be on the same page regarding finances, approximately, anyway - if you're not, getting married is a bad idea. However due to gnarlycharlie4u's bad influence my wife is slightly annoyed that I'm spending money on a new dumb expensive hobby: mechanical keyboards. I guess if we had separate finances she'd never know exactly how much money I am spending, so that would be good.
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Mar 2, 2021 16:21
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I got on my work computer late last night to push some code to our staging environment. Spent a little bit of time testing it, then went to bed. When I got up, none of the things that worked last night worked any more! After burning two hours trying to figure out what happened, it turns out one of the people in the Paris office pushed an older version into staging that undid my changes 
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Mar 2, 2021 16:31
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Safety Dance posted:I got on my work computer late last night to push some code to our staging environment. Spent a little bit of time testing it, then went to bed. When I got up, none of the things that worked last night worked any more! Do you happen to work for a conglomerate that does something with lightbulbs?
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Mar 2, 2021 16:34
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RIP Paul Walker posted:Do you happen to work for a conglomerate that does something with lightbulbs? Nope! We just make software. I'm pushing the newest version back into staging that should include *both* of our changesets. Fortunately I can use a CI pipeline started by somebody else, and it should only take 10 or so minutes for the changes to roll out.
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Mar 2, 2021 16:41
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Humphreys posted:Crossposting for those interested in one: I built mine first.  I like that model. Got it sitting right here on my desk now, in fact. Olympic Mathlete posted:Work van has a parking ticket. Quality. So, just out of curiosity, how exactly would this company enforce payment on a legitimate parking violation? If they are not cops or other government entity, I would absolutely blow them off like the toothless nothing they are.
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Mar 2, 2021 17:15
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Darchangel posted:Quality. I'm just very confused as to how what is quite clearly a liveried up company van sat on company property is worthy of a ticket. Either way my boss was looking forward to ripping into whichever dickhead put the system into place that has allowed this to happen.
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Mar 2, 2021 18:12
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Finally got my 83 yr old dad booked for vaccination Thursday, with the 2nd dose scheduled for 4/1. What a relief. So basically in 6 weeks I can invite people over without worrying that they'll kill him. If I can slip in on one of those end of day leftover vaccines, maybe I can take a god drat vacation this year.
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Mar 2, 2021 18:14
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:I recognize different things work for different people but I don't think I would ever consider not combining money fully in a marriage. Just seems to be an administrative hassle and you should be on the same page regarding finances, approximately, anyway - if you're not, getting married is a bad idea. Im not married but my partner and I own a house together and we seem to be on the same page that we’re stuck with one another for the long haul but aren’t planning on getting married (we’ve both been married before and aren’t planning on having kids). And I don’t think she’d marry me without some sort of prenup because it would effectively mean she was paying for half of all the crap I’m constantly spending money on and without a prenup if we got divorced I’d be entitled to a chunk of her retirement savings and she’d be entitled to a chunk of my thousands of dollars of pocket knives, collectible Stephen king books, guns, and cars.
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Mar 2, 2021 18:41
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