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Marmaduke! posted:I've been on a management course this week and they basically kicked it off by showing a Ted talk of some guy who loves Apple almost as much as huffing his own farts. Did you know everyone loves Apple and buys all their stuff because of their amazing values? Also imagine I'm doing William Shatner style pauses before every key word for the full effect. If I had to include Ted Talk videos in a management presentation might be fun to have the all-star line up of Elizabeth Holmes, Glenn Greenwald, and David Cameron.
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Mar 3, 2021 18:53
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 10:52 |
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My boss will reject anyone with a foreign name, say he can't understand them on the phone when he calls, and that they are just applying because unemployment makes you apply to jobs. Also pays minimum wage and complains it's too much money
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Mar 3, 2021 19:34
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My department manager one level up from my boss NEVER checks our team's collective google calendar before deciding he needs to meet with someone. Lots of people being pulled out of essential meetings and 1 on 1s so the manager can catch up with them. I'm currently sitting on an empty zoom call waiting for my boss to get back from one of these impromptu conversations - he's 35 minutes late and texting apologies to me every 10 minutes or so.
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Mar 3, 2021 19:35
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Riatsala posted:My department manager one level up from my boss NEVER checks our team's collective google calendar before deciding he needs to meet with someone. Lots of people being pulled out of essential meetings and 1 on 1s so the manager can catch up with them. I'm currently sitting on an empty zoom call waiting for my boss to get back from one of these impromptu conversations - he's 35 minutes late and texting apologies to me every 10 minutes or so.  Oh my god yes this. One year I also got a review mentioning the ONE TIME that I'd left a meeting early because I'd been double booked and they were going over. It took me a week to cool down instead of quitting.
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Mar 3, 2021 19:42
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Fried Watermelon posted:My boss will reject anyone with a foreign name, say he can't understand them on the phone when he calls, and that they are just applying because unemployment makes you apply to jobs. Lol that’s pretty loving terrible. When I was in high school I had a boss lady who any time she heard a name that’s any more foreign than John Johnson she’d go “hmmmmm where’s THAT from??”
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Mar 3, 2021 20:01
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poisonpill posted:
Lol that's awful. I got taken aside my a manager after I appeared distracted during a morning meeting and got antsy during the 10 minutes of mandatory gratitudes and wasn't paying attention to what coworkers love about their gym or television. I explained I had been pulled away from fixing a critical issue where an important item wasn't working that was causing tickets to flood in. The manager (who ostensibly is responsible for this type of issue, but it's not a TED talk so nah) agreed I should indeed consider fixing that right away.
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Mar 3, 2021 20:02
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There's something deeply ironic about the phrase "mandatory gratitudes"
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Mar 3, 2021 20:05
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Play posted:There's something deeply sinister about the phrase "mandatory gratitudes" Dare I ask what mandatory gratitudes are?
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Mar 3, 2021 20:13
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Fried Watermelon posted:My boss will reject anyone with a foreign name, say he can't understand them on the phone when he calls, and that they are just applying because unemployment makes you apply to jobs. He sounds like a shithead, you should report him for whatever you can report him for.
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Mar 3, 2021 20:52
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Plucky Brit posted:Fixed that for you. My MegaCorp dept tried to embrace Agile a few years ago. Ok for software teams, but for other depts like my own it was useless. So breaking tasks into pieces or any improvement were discarded, but the daily standups remained as those give management something to do. In addition to sharing what I am working on that day (my immediate team already knows, adjacent teams that have nothing to do with our work but are in our meetings don't care), I'm supposed to express what I am grateful for that day. Can't politely say "I'd prefer not to share this info and have work to do," gotta think of something. I usually say something about what I ate for dinner.
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Mar 3, 2021 21:17
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Hyrax Attack! posted:My MegaCorp dept tried to embrace Agile a few years ago. Ok for software teams, but for other depts like my own it was useless. So breaking tasks into pieces or any improvement were discarded, but the daily standups remained as those give management something to do. In addition to sharing what I am working on that day (my immediate team already knows, adjacent teams that have nothing to do with our work but are in our meetings don't care), I'm supposed to express what I am grateful for that day. Can't politely say "I'd prefer not to share this info and have work to do," gotta think of something. I usually say something about what I ate for dinner. "I'm grateful I won't have to put up with these meetings anymore!" *defenestrates laptop*
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Mar 3, 2021 22:25
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Tetramin posted:Lol that’s pretty loving terrible. Trying to find that bit from the always sunny m night Shyamalan episode, where they're looking for someone to help write a movie script and they see a south Asian looking guy and approach him for help. They ask where he's from, and he says new jersey. They ask where his parents are from, and he says queens
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Mar 3, 2021 22:48
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Fried Watermelon posted:My boss will reject anyone with a foreign name, say he can't understand them on the phone when he calls, and that they are just applying because unemployment makes you apply to jobs. Dang you managed to describe like...3 federal lawsuit causes of action in just two sentences!
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Mar 3, 2021 22:57
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Legit hearing the head manager of the office ripping into the office manager about toilet paper and how we use too much. This is after hearing him have a conniption over having other flavors of tea.
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Mar 4, 2021 16:11
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teen witch posted:Legit hearing the head manager of the office ripping into the office manager about toilet paper and how we use too much. People like that, I've found, are usually in marriages where they don't have any power. Every blowhard dude I've worked with was a miserable poo poo stain and would be cowed as soon as they were near their wife.
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Mar 4, 2021 16:16
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Inzombiac posted:People like that, I've found, are usually in marriages where they don't have any power. Perhaps as he’s leching on one of the youngest hires in the office!!!! While banning us buying milk for coffee!!!
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Mar 4, 2021 16:18
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That’s a “Yes.”
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Mar 4, 2021 16:20
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Friend was telling me about the CEO of his company was slightly annoyed about people leaving empty Keurig pods in the machine and so the VP, in an attempt to please him, setup a camera pointing directly at the coffee machine. Just lol at the insanity of people. Turns out it wasn't even plugged in and there just to spook employees
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Mar 4, 2021 16:28
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teen witch posted:Legit hearing the head manager of the office ripping into the office manager about toilet paper and how we use too much. My office sent a staff-wide email because someone drank the office carton of orange juice. Employees are ONLY allowed juice AFTER 5PM ON FRIDAYS!!!
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Mar 4, 2021 17:04
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George H.W. oval office posted:Friend was telling me about the CEO of his company was slightly annoyed about people leaving empty Keurig pods in the machine and so the VP, in an attempt to please him, setup a camera pointing directly at the coffee machine. Just lol at the insanity of people. Turns out it wasn't even plugged in and there just to spook employees Ceo is probably a culprit.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:05
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:My office sent a staff-wide email because someone drank the office carton of orange juice. Employees are ONLY allowed juice AFTER 5PM ON FRIDAYS!!! What the gently caress? Granted, I've never worked in an office where the kitchen was stocked for us in any way. Most I got was a lovely fridge, a microwave that sorta worked and a coffee maker that was never cleaned. My wife works for a cool media company and back when they had offices, their kitchen was nicer than ours at home. They had people cooking full dinners there.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:07
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I live in Finland and work for the Australia/New Zealand branch of an American company. There is a slight time difference involved. I can understand why some customers of ours are confused when I don’t answer the phone at 9am Auckland time, or they receive emails at odd hours of the night. But my own team? Surely they’d know better. Nope. This week's all-heads Teams meeting [COMPULSORY!] is at 2am tomorrow. No it will not be recorded. They do not know how. We are a tech company.  Prism Mirror Lens posted:My office sent a staff-wide email because someone drank the office carton of orange juice. Employees are ONLY allowed juice AFTER 5PM ON FRIDAYS!!! We once got told off by HR for drinking the communal cans of soft drink out of the break room fridge because visitors could see in (it had transparent glass doors) and a half stocked fridge could make the company look bad. Creature fucked around with this message at 17:21 on Mar 4, 2021 |
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Mar 4, 2021 17:12
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George H.W. oval office posted:Friend was telling me about the CEO of his company was slightly annoyed about people leaving empty Keurig pods in the machine and so the VP, in an attempt to please him, setup a camera pointing directly at the coffee machine. Just lol at the insanity of people. Turns out it wasn't even plugged in and there just to spook employees At a place I worked somebody took a couple big shits in the lunch room right in the middle of the floor. The CEO set up cameras to catch the culprit. The person who was doing it adapted and then would take their poo poo in the lower floor bathrooms, move a false ceiling tile and throw the feces over top the office area false ceiling. after a year or so of odd smell in the office they finally found out what was causing the issue. Not sure if they ever caught the guy despite putting camera outside the bathrooms.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:14
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Tarkus posted:At a place I worked somebody took a couple big shits in the lunch room right in the middle of the floor. The CEO set up cameras to catch the culprit. The person who was doing it adapted and then would take their poo poo in the lower floor bathrooms, move a false ceiling tile and throw the feces over top the office area false ceiling. after a year or so of odd smell in the office they finally found out what was causing the issue. Not sure if they ever caught the guy despite putting camera outside the bathrooms. what the actual gently caress lmao
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Mar 4, 2021 17:16
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At the start of covid the thousands of people at my MegaCorp's office were anxious as we had received no guidance or info about transitioning to WFH. We did learn the office coffee would now be free, reminding us they had been charging. Also after a vague update email was sent by HR, HR management's primary concern was this had gone out with a typo in the subject line. Then someone in the call center died and it made the news so we were sent home and I haven't set foot in the office in a year.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:16
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Creature posted:I live in Finland and work for the Australia/New Zealand branch of an American company. There is a slight time difference involved. Lmao similar hat and people getting LIVID that I’m not answering at 3am IT IS AN EMERGENCY Forget the fact that my signature, where they got my number from, also contains the country code and address
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Mar 4, 2021 17:20
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:My office sent a staff-wide email because someone drank the office carton of orange juice. Employees are ONLY allowed juice AFTER 5PM ON FRIDAYS!!! During university in 2004, in Singapore, I had an internship that paid me approximately £300 a month, for a 9 to 6 job, Monday to Friday. That's approximately £15 per day. I couldn't afford a phone and could barely afford the bus to get to work. The workplace was owned and run by this American couple from Cincinnati. They had some biscuits and soft drinks etc in the pantry area for the staff. This one time I ate about half a sleeve of biscuits and took a coca cola home (I was hungry, I wasn't able to afford much to eat). The next day I get told off for eating too many biscuits. One of the owners sent me out to get his top of the line photo iPod fixed once, i.e. totally not work related. That iPod was worth more than my entire month's wages. I once got yelled at, like properly yelled at, by that guy for adding too many post it notes to a binder of work he asked me to make up for him.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:21
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teen witch posted:Lmao similar hat and people getting LIVID that I’m not answering at 3am IT IS AN EMERGENCY Ten minutes after chatting about the differences between the Finnish and Australian climates (conclusion: there is snow here and not there) one of our salespeople asked if I sit next to someone in our Melbourne office and if they were on a lunch break. 
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Mar 4, 2021 17:32
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Tarkus posted:At a place I worked somebody took a couple big shits in the lunch room right in the middle of the floor. The CEO set up cameras to catch the culprit. The person who was doing it adapted and then would take their poo poo in the lower floor bathrooms, move a false ceiling tile and throw the feces over top the office area false ceiling. after a year or so of odd smell in the office they finally found out what was causing the issue. Not sure if they ever caught the guy despite putting camera outside the bathrooms. lmao
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Mar 4, 2021 17:32
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Tarkus posted:At a place I worked somebody took a couple big shits in the lunch room right in the middle of the floor. The CEO set up cameras to catch the culprit. The person who was doing it adapted and then would take their poo poo in the lower floor bathrooms, move a false ceiling tile and throw the feces over top the office area false ceiling. after a year or so of odd smell in the office they finally found out what was causing the issue. Not sure if they ever caught the guy despite putting camera outside the bathrooms. This owns so much
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Mar 4, 2021 17:41
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Tarkus posted:At a place I worked somebody took a couple big shits in the lunch room right in the middle of the floor. The CEO set up cameras to catch the culprit. The person who was doing it adapted and then would take their poo poo in the lower floor bathrooms, move a false ceiling tile and throw the feces over top the office area false ceiling. after a year or so of odd smell in the office they finally found out what was causing the issue. Not sure if they ever caught the guy despite putting camera outside the bathrooms. security camera footage 
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Mar 4, 2021 17:52
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George H.W. oval office posted:Friend was telling me about the CEO of his company was slightly annoyed about people leaving empty Keurig pods in the machine and so the VP, in an attempt to please him, setup a camera pointing directly at the coffee machine. Just lol at the insanity of people. Turns out it wasn't even plugged in and there just to spook employees There are keurig machines that just drop the pod into a bin inside to be thrown out en masse later. Good thing the VP didn't just have one of those installed.
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Mar 4, 2021 17:57
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I am legitimately considering leaving my job to work on a weed farm. The pay is slightly higher and the commute is further, but i think I'd feel better doing agricultural work then "working from home" and lying to my employers constantly
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Mar 4, 2021 18:05
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Do it mate.
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Mar 4, 2021 18:13
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titty_baby_ posted:I am legitimately considering leaving my job to work on a weed farm. The pay is slightly higher and the commute is further, but i think I'd feel better doing agricultural work then "working from home" and lying to my employers constantly Could you get away with doing it while keeping your old job? $$$ The name chat reminds me of the terrorist who planned the 2008 Taj hotel attack. He had Pakistani parents but was born in the USA.  He simply changed his name from Daood Sayed Gilani to David Coleman Headley and boom, white looking + US passport + white guy name and he was able to travel throughout India, USA and Pakistan without border officials giving him any mind.
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Mar 4, 2021 18:27
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Pekinduck posted:Could you get away with doing it while keeping your old job? $$$ Lol wow. I had a friend whose wife's last name was Muhammad. She got randomly chosen for heightened airport security checks every time. She's a Boeing engineer with a masters, if you built the plane maybe someone should get a pass.
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Mar 4, 2021 18:32
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I dunno man, Boeing ain't the best example for "safe planes" recently.
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Mar 4, 2021 18:35
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titty_baby_ posted:I am legitimately considering leaving my job to work on a weed farm. The pay is slightly higher and the commute is further, but i think I'd feel better doing agricultural work then "working from home" and lying to my employers constantly I've been getting into gardening more and more in the last few years, and weed farming would a really cool way to monetize on that. Problem is here in germany weed is still treated like loving heroin, so even getting a small grow setup for yourself will get you in serious trouble if anybody finds out. It's dumb af. It sounds interesting, so why not dude?
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Mar 4, 2021 18:43
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I couldn't do both jobs at once. Im worried about the seasonality of it and its likely I wouldn't get as good of benefits (I essentially work in govt so my bennies r gr8). It's also way out in the countryside on lovely roads and will put a lot of wear and tear on my car. I really hate my current job tho and my partners leaving to do their masters research for the summer so id just be alone, working from home, for months. I think that might be bad for my mental health
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Mar 4, 2021 18:55
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This may be more for the COVID thread but I'm not caught up with it, so... Stupid co-worker "COVID is only a problem if you have high blood sugar in your blood". Also, "what did people do before vaccines?" Uh, they died, dude. I guess anti-dumb poo poo, we're still keeping a mask policy after the 10th.
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Mar 4, 2021 19:31
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