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Barudak posted:I think I unintentionally revealed my old company was scamming a client to the client. 'unintentionally'?
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Mar 19, 2021 17:52
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TacticalHoodie posted:I have so many questions about this Extremely same. EvilHawk posted:We have four week sprints. For one of my teams this works perfectly - we start to get tickets into test in the second week, the work flows nicely, and we can plan accordingly. Two of my teams are completely incapable of doing this. We are entering week four of the sprint and we haven't had a single ticket to test. It was supposed to be released at lunchtime and they've suddenly found issues so it'll be delayed until at least Monday. I've replanned the testing with my senior TA and there's literally no way we can meet the deadline, so of course it'll go down as testing missing the deadlines because we're the last in the line. I'm sure you already know it, but you're doing Agile wrong. Sprints aren't deadlines. You might want to see if you can get QA testing into a completely different sprint cadence. Let your own metrics speak for themselves.
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Mar 19, 2021 18:10
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Volmarias posted:I'm sure you already know it, but you're doing Agile wrong. Sprints aren't deadlines. You might want to see if you can get QA testing into a completely different sprint cadence. Let your own metrics speak for themselves. Ugh, if something can't be finished without QA, then moving it to a different sprint is pointless as you're just generating too much WIP. Anyway, the underlying problem here is probably something like priority juggling because of bad management.
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Mar 19, 2021 18:16
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MrQueasy posted:Ugh, if something can't be finished without QA, then moving it to a different sprint is pointless as you're just generating too much WIP. Sure, but ignoring the fact that things have already broken down too far already (treating tasks in a sprint as deadlines that have to all be met, blaming others for your own problems without pushback), dev is just mashing the "pending verification" button days before the end of the sprint and putting the blame for poor metrics at the feet of the QA team, because that's the only way they can get things delivered on time. So, since metrics matter, the way to solve this is to make a separate bucket for QA, with their own expected cadence and schedule. Tasks in this bucket are provisionally done, but regain their points when kicked back. QA can test 8 points per week and the 4 week sprint has 24 points? Ok, when 20 points of stories land all at once they'll be triaged and tested in the appropriate order. Meanwhile, anything found to have a blocking problem gets kicked back to dev for their current (or preferably, next) sprint. Basically, if "tell the dev team to stop being a bunch of fuckups" and "tell management to grow a pair and push back" aren't viable management solutions, specifically separating QA and dev seems like a management solution that can at least show that dev is currently overloaded and not providing work at a regular cadence, but instead rushing things out the door at the last second because that's Next Month's Dev's (and today's QA's) problem now. Volmarias fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Mar 19, 2021 |
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Mar 19, 2021 18:24
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gently caress Agile. That's the solution. gently caress it. Put it in the garbage where it belongs.
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Mar 19, 2021 18:45
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I agree with all of these points, even the contradictory ones. The problem is the one team completely bought into Agile, worked on it so everyone was playing to the same tune, and now have an agreed cadence, and the other two just... haven't. They're technically separate projects (one public facing, one behind a paywall) so they're managed in slightly different ways.
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Mar 19, 2021 18:48
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There's also the "favor people over processes" part. Agile cannot fail, it can only be failed 
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Mar 19, 2021 19:06
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Beware anywhere trying out new management schemes like they are clothes. Someone is trying to fix dysfunction by cargo culting something functional. Functional processes do not fix dysfunctional people and things. Functional processes are a result of ironing out all the wrinkly people and things in the way of the process.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:18
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I’ve been doing unofficial agile coaching as a product owner/scrum master for like a decade and I’ve yet to see a company of decent size actually follow through with being agile even after spending millions trying to do an agile transformation Leadership always defaults back to waterfall like a bunch of children because they get panic attacks if they can’t put delivery dates on poo poo
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Mar 19, 2021 19:19
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My favorite agile ism is scaled agile, which is usually waterfall but we get to use the agile words like a big boy.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:24
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My favorite is when there's a requirements gathering phase and the developers are presented with a clear idea of what the business wants and they don't hit us with new requirements one week before go-live after SIT and UAT are done and we're supposed to have a golden copy of the code.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:29
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Top boss just said I'll be reporting all these pointless loving metrics every week now and said it like someone had already discussed with me what it was and what they wanted. No one had, of course. Also he named two people before me who are in the department 'helping' me. Except no one helps me at all and I run the entire department on my own. Fuckin a
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Mar 19, 2021 19:39
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More tech nerd bullshit: In the mid 2000s, my employer (a global conglomerate) flew all the on-site technicians to their HQ. They showed off their brand new, privately owned, $30M-to-build AS400 datacenter. That same day they told us 1) The whole company was switching to Novell, and 2) Our division was the only one in the company that had on-site techs, but our jobs were safe!!! When I put my notice in a couple months later, the head of IT said "I hope this isn't because of what we told you about the on-site techs!" :eyeroll: I got word my replacement was fired about 5 months later as they got rid of all the on-site techs. Not a tech nerd summary: Imagine your company sold cell phones and being told in 2021 their new direction was selling Blackberry devices.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:44
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vyst posted:Leadership always defaults back to waterfall like a bunch of children because they get panic attacks if they can’t put delivery dates on poo poo Which I always think is pretty fair. A customer wants to know when they’re going to get their poo poo. In waterfall I did in-depth estimates and they could look it at and see delivery dates and demo dates. If they’ve never experienced a waterfall estimate being completely wrong, what upfront incentive does a customer or manager have for switching to agile where instead i do a big shrug and say “idk, I can start working on it and we’ll see how it goes I guess”? Especially dumb was where we brought in ‘agile’ but the customer had to have fixed deadlines for regulatory reasons, so we worked in 1 week sprints but still only released every 6 months
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Mar 19, 2021 19:46
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Crackbone posted:1) The whole company was switching to Novell, Honestly I'd call this the overriding warning sign
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Mar 19, 2021 19:49
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Our parent company sold us materials to make our poo poo. Said parent company made us do "Just in Time" manufacturing training - young, stupid me tried to actually use it. I built out a workflow that would reduce our standing inventory by half, as long as our parent company could ship materials to us in four days. When I presented the idea everybody said "lol that will never happen" and I promptly stopped giving a poo poo about any further company initatives.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:53
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vyst posted:I’ve been doing unofficial agile coaching as a product owner/scrum master for like a decade and I’ve yet to see a company of decent size actually follow through with being agile even after spending millions trying to do an agile transformation Yep, I’ve seen this, and seen product have to retroactively create a waterfall plan mid way through for management, as though it’s useful.
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Mar 19, 2021 19:58
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No my workplace specifically, but i've spent about a year trying and failing to get a hard black and white answer to 'Do I need a permit to do *thing*, or can I get away with a simple notification to the regulator?' Literally nobody will answer the question beyond 'well it's kind of a grey zone'. Each permit costs $250 and can take up to 6 months which means nothing useful can actually get done if I need to go that route. Yesterday I spoke with the government head of all this poo poo, he was a surprisingly chill guy and his response was 'yeah it's a grey zone, it's the government so nobody wants to take responsibility for it. Here's the name of a person, have them email the regulator and they'll get you your approval if we can have access to all the data that comes out of the project'. Finally. loving months of calling around and badgering people. gently caress the government mentality.
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Mar 19, 2021 20:10
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TotalLossBrain posted:Back in 2005 I worked a refueling outage at a nuclear power plant. One of the main coolant pump motors - not sure the HP, but they are giant, fuckoff motors - got sent off to be rebuilt. Didn’t the San Onofre plant decide to install a completely new reactor a few (probably more than a few) years ago, got the whole thing installed and someone looked at the plans and was like, “isn’t this installed backwards?” The solution to having done millions of dollars of work to install a brand new nuclear reactor—backwards—was to just say, “welp, gently caress it...” and decommission the whole plant. At least I think that’s what happened.
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Mar 19, 2021 21:23
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Ah yes, the disaster that was the San Onofre steam generator replacement
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Mar 19, 2021 21:48
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Tetramin posted:drat people who didn’t grow up as gamers so muting/unmuting is second nature. I’ve never accidentally been in the wrong mute state. I sometimes pretend to accidentally leave mute on so somebody else answers the question or takes the action item. See also: camera stopped working, meeting software crashed, network dropped a bunch, etc. Some days these are the only minutes I get for using the toilet. Making up fake problems so I can steal a single minute in 10-12 hours of meetings to go pee. Why yes, I am starting interviews next week!
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Mar 20, 2021 06:55
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Outrail posted:'unintentionally'? I was like "I wish I could have worked for you all full time, instead of working on you + other business" And they were like "uh, you were, they told us you were 100% on out business" which was never communicated to me, as far as I knew everyone was aware I wasn't 100% on their business.
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Mar 20, 2021 06:59
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Hyzenth1ay posted:I sometimes pretend to accidentally leave mute on so somebody else answers the question or takes the action item. See also: camera stopped working, meeting software crashed, network dropped a bunch, etc. I mute myself, head into the bathroom with the laptop, and go take a poo poo during meetings (we don't use cameras). The future is awesome.
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Mar 20, 2021 07:46
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I'm so happy that I have very few meetings every week. Granted, I don't make any money but at least the few meetings I have are scheduled, expected and short.
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Mar 20, 2021 07:54
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DrunkMidget posted:I mute myself, head into the bathroom with the laptop, and go take a poo poo during meetings (we don't use cameras). The future is awesome. Tell us about how you thoroughly sanitise the laptop before leaving the bathroom and having it touch other things, or your hands touch other things after touching it.
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Mar 20, 2021 11:09
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You have thoroughly drank the koolaid if you are taking meetings into the shitter.
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Mar 20, 2021 13:00
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I have a teammate who threw an absolute tantrum when management announced that they wanted people to return to the office for at least 3 days per week. She brought it up in every meeting. Her concern wasn't health based, she just liked the money she'd saved on parking. There is one major rule in the office now: if you’re sick, any symptoms at all, even non-COVID related, you do not go in. You work from home, get tested, and don’t return until you’re healthy again. That’s that. Guess who made a point of going to work with a cough and sore throat, and who then had to be sent home? And then did it again the very next day? 
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Mar 20, 2021 13:04
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Y’all need to get some Bluetooth headphones or earbuds and take your meetings in the shitter that way instead of getting poo poo particles all over the thing you have your hands on all day
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Mar 20, 2021 13:39
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Creature posted:I have a teammate who threw an absolute tantrum when management announced that they wanted people to return to the office for at least 3 days per week. She brought it up in every meeting. Her concern wasn't health based, she just liked the money she'd saved on parking. I am with your teammate on this (aside from the tantrumming - bring it up in a civilised fashion). Screw management for forcing people to go in to the office during a plague. WFH works.
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Mar 20, 2021 14:47
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Steakandchips posted:I am with your teammate on this (aside from the tantrumming - bring it up in a civilised fashion). Screw management for forcing people to go in to the office during a plague. WFH works. I already told my VP I’m not stepping foot inside the office until i get my vaccine. If they want to speed that process up god bless them
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Mar 20, 2021 15:21
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Called me at 9AM on a Saturday because our QA department is a dumpster fire.
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Mar 20, 2021 16:10
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satanic splash-back posted:You have thoroughly drank the koolaid if you are taking meetings into the shitter. 100% but also wooger posted:Tell us about how you thoroughly sanitise the laptop before leaving the bathroom and having it touch other things, or your hands touch other things after touching it. if they're the only one using it who cares?
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Mar 20, 2021 16:38
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I got my current job entirely in half wrinkled shirts and underwear. It's like a modern version of rear end-pennies with the confidence it gave me during interviews. The future does, in fact, own. Thanks COVID!
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Mar 20, 2021 16:46
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Bringing your whole laptop into the bathroom for a meeting where you barely even need to be present is foolish and wasteful, join the meeting from mobile. You're all loving around on the phone when you poop anyway so it's like nothing changed except people think you're being diligent.
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Mar 20, 2021 17:15
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George H.W. oval office posted:I got my current job entirely in half wrinkled shirts and underwear. It's like a modern version of rear end-pennies with the confidence it gave me during interviews. The future does, in fact, own. Thanks COVID! I have a "webex Interview shirt". It's ironed, it gets put on just before the interview over webcam, and taken off right after and hung behind my bedroom door. It's been used multiple times so far and it is still perfectly ironed.  ing is orders of magnitude easier during COVID as going for and taking interviews can be done easily during work hours without anyone being any the wiser. You don't need to take time off for it.
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Mar 20, 2021 19:34
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 : We need to dramatically reduce the space taken up on our backup drives as they have reached capacity and it's stopping any further backups. Please advise of all defunct or outdated files that can be permanently deleted. : Here's the list of files.: Do you want us to delete all of the files, or just the ones in the list you provided that are highlighted?: All of them. But before you do so could you please back them up in case we need them again? : 
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Mar 21, 2021 01:57
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Breetai posted:
That's a lol. What was the updated response?
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Mar 21, 2021 02:39
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that exchange is dumb as hell but 'we ran out of room on the backup drives, can we delete some of your poo poo?' is a solid 2nd dumbest
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Mar 21, 2021 03:03
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No Meetings Fridays. Just means 'Permanent Three Day Weekends' for upper managers.
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Mar 21, 2021 03:10
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goatsestretchgoals posted:that exchange is dumb as hell but 'we ran out of room on the backup drives, can we delete some of your poo poo?' is a solid 2nd dumbest Yeah its the equivalent of having employees sign a sheet to take a sugar packet by the coffee machine. Someone told me they worked at a company where management wanted people to spend an hour each week checking their account on the mainframe and delete any unneeded files to save space. They got that shot down by showing an hour of every employees time was worth far more than the extra space. That was 1980's storage costs too!
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Mar 21, 2021 03:44
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