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its time to own up. as a househaving suburbidiot former yakuza turned baby daddy i have recently become Enamored with my back yardish area. it's small but full of birds and bugs and poo poo. a fox shows up on occasion. perfect spot to rip a few bongloads before setting a hedge on fire. so i've been reading up on ecology, and permaculture, and vibes. rather than poison the gaia mother earth mother, with fell chemichals and foul brews, i have researched Natural Paths of floral envivication for yardologists such as my self. friends, it is as a doctorate of expertise that i tell you, piss in your yard. setup a urinal out your bathroom window and sprinkle that golden nectar onto that thirsty turf. keep a watering can by the toilet and dilute it 50/50 before applying directly to flower beds. the nitrogen and phosphors will quickly digest old leafs and dead grass into righteous soils. it's ideal for encouraging bacterial and fungal nets in sandy soils, as only the accumulation of decayed biomatter can adjust the silt to sand ratio. legumes and clovers are excellent at capturing and fixing the nutrients in the soil via root nodules. do our wives and neighbors understand? no. they insist it is a Weird Sex Thing, despite the fact that we are Polite enough to wait until the Cover Of Nightfall for us to do our tinklebusiness. it's basically ramadan but for eco-pissing. ridiculius. i shan't stand for such abuse anymore. People, yardpissing is the one thing that can turn this whole crazy mixed up world of ours around. it reduces the strain on our already clogged up shitters, and it does the other good stuff that i mentioned already too. flowers like it. worms like it. pervert bugs like it. there's no reason not to piss in your yard. |
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Apr 13, 2021 16:43
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really looking forward to this month's Yardpisser's Digest, apparently Polanski wrote a column on the ettiquete of sustained eye contact while Yardpissing
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Apr 13, 2021 16:44
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what’s good for the garden is good for the gander
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Apr 13, 2021 17:08
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nut posted:what’s good for the garden is good for the gander getting my dick shredded by outraged goose bites crimes |
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Apr 13, 2021 17:13
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i find it really improves the taste of the dandelions
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Apr 13, 2021 18:09
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The light turns on and my wife gasps, I'm peeing into the compost container we keep in the kitchen |
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Apr 13, 2021 20:26
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Ventral EggSac posted:The light turns on and my wife gasps, I'm peeing into the compost container we keep in the kitchen "honey, it's not what it looks like. the green/brown ratio is way off and it's not getting hot enough to sterilize the dried grass clippings." crimes |
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Apr 13, 2021 20:47
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I whiz almost exclusively in the compost bin we keep out back and i'm PROUD of it.
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Apr 14, 2021 02:14
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Piss in the back yard poo poo in the front |
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Apr 14, 2021 02:43
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Piss in the back yard poo poo in the front my urologist just pinching the bridge of his nose and asking me to explain how metaphorical that description is supposed to be crimes |
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Apr 14, 2021 02:49
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Piss in the back yard poo poo in the front
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Apr 14, 2021 02:55
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desperately waiting for leaves to appear so i can piss in my yard
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Apr 14, 2021 03:22
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Heather Papps posted:desperately waiting for leaves to appear so i can piss in my yard just grab some off something, throw em on the ground and rip a piss |
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Apr 14, 2021 05:41
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Heather Papps posted:desperately waiting for leaves to appear so i can piss in my yard friend, have you heard the gospel of Toilet Window crimes |
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Apr 14, 2021 12:37
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i pee in the front yard at night |
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Apr 14, 2021 17:59
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Me watering the plants: Mornin' Jerry! *If only he knew what was in my can...* Jerry: Mornin' Ted! *If only he knew what was in my can...* Our significant others: *If only my husband knew...* |
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Apr 14, 2021 19:06
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my dream is to piss in an enclosed courtyard like at a monastery or abbey. just imagine the decadence of being able to excrete in a private space surrounded by four walls |
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Apr 14, 2021 19:55
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the yellow fringe on MY flag? heh.
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Apr 14, 2021 20:06
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FutonForensic posted:my dream is to piss in an enclosed courtyard like at a monastery or abbey. just imagine the decadence of being able to excrete in a private space surrounded by four walls this seems like a dream you could make come true if you don't mind annoying the monks/abbesses |
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Apr 15, 2021 00:39
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do piss on me *snake surrounded by tufts of grass*
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Apr 15, 2021 01:26
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These yardpissers wanna talk lord of the mics You're not even lord of the yard! |
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Apr 15, 2021 13:56
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nut posted:do piss on me lmao i used to be a TreePisser until i sprinkled on a fallen log and a rat snake crawled out from underneath. i think it gave me stink-eye but it's kind of hard to tell with reptilians. crimes |
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Apr 15, 2021 13:57
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honestly just lol if you have a whole rear end yard and don't piss in it every now and then |
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Apr 15, 2021 22:32
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Why would I pee in a wet hole inside my house when there is a flat dry place right putside |
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Apr 16, 2021 04:32
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toilets: - need to be cleaned - break and flood your whole house - super loud - bad for posture yard: - beautiful - chill with birds - nature cleans it for u - vidamin d crimes |
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Apr 16, 2021 05:00
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sunflower: aw gee phiz thanks for the water! me: naw sweat lil bub sunflower: (smacking lips) interesting electrolyte blend today. you make this yourself? me, smiling, turning to the camera: matter of fact... I did! crimes |
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Apr 16, 2021 05:01
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the pervert cardinal flower, bedecked in sinful crimson: forgive me father i crave PISSS
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Apr 16, 2021 05:01
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yardshitters are a lot like bigfoots in that their existence is mythical and used as a distraction by the catholic church from their centuries of child sex crimes
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Apr 16, 2021 05:43
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tbh a vine type plant is already trying to kill my house so I'm not trying to do them any favors over here.
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Apr 18, 2021 07:44
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*Shaking my head at my neighbor's thick aggressive desert landscaping as I watch them hobble out to get the mail favoring their perforated junk*
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Apr 18, 2021 16:20
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rear end-penny posted:tbh a vine type plant is already trying to kill my house so I'm not trying to do them any favors over here. Maybe if you strain enough you can increase your pressure to cutting |
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Apr 18, 2021 16:29
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Ventral EggSac posted:Maybe if you strain enough you can increase your pressure to cutting what is a waterjet cutter if not just a robot peeing really hard |
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Apr 18, 2021 23:05
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getting cyberpunk ITT
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Apr 19, 2021 03:46
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solarNativity posted:what is a waterjet cutter if not just a robot peeing really hard |
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Apr 19, 2021 06:40
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fyi there will be a knowledge-sharing meeting this Wednesday with our sister chapter, SODSOAKERS |
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Apr 19, 2021 14:30
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getting pulled into an accountability process by Anti-Urine Radicals in the Triffid Parents Council
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Apr 22, 2021 00:17
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rear end-penny posted:tbh a vine type plant is already trying to kill my house so I'm not trying to do them any favors over here. i thought urine was deadly to plants. just do it. the worst that happens is you give a flytrap plant a kink and its constantly saying rear end-penny piss on me |
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Apr 22, 2021 01:38
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me, pissing on the oleander aphids decimating my swamp milkweed: aahhahahaha!!!! suffer! aphids: harder daddy crimes |
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Apr 23, 2021 03:09
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:me, pissing on the oleander aphids decimating my swamp milkweed: aahhahahaha!!!! suffer! you cant kill oleander with piss. you need to nuke it and then salt the earth. |
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Apr 23, 2021 04:05
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