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PhysicsFrenzy posted:I have no idea where to even start with the bands. My fiance and I talked briefly about the looks of different materials, but we didn't figure anything out. I've browsed jewelers online but nothing's jumped out to me-- everything looks so similar, so how can I tell what I like? Part of me feels like the rings themselves should have as much emotional significance as our engagement rings did, too, but I know they will after he and I pick them out together so maybe that's dumb. What is your engagement ring like? Any cues you can take from that? For example, my engagement ring is vintage from a certain era and has milgrain details (those little tiny dots), so both my husband I found bands from the same time period and also had some milgrain details, so it all feels like a set, even though it’s actually three different metals (mine are white gold e-ring and platinum band, his band is yellow gold.)
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Apr 18, 2021 21:29
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Thumbtacks posted:I knew when I was looking for mine that I didn’t want a gold one so I actually found the one I wanted on manlybands.com. If you ignore the pandering and the insane ring names (which are extremely funny to read) it’s surprisingly affordable and had some nice options. I got one with tungsten and wood and I’m very happy with it. Got my fiancé’s band from manly band and he loves it. It looks solid quality and the free silicone band is a nice add on. 5.5 months left and still so much to pay for! Eek!!
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Apr 19, 2021 06:40
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So what was the big deal? The frog was wearing a hat? EDIT: Wrong thread Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Apr 22, 2021 |
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Apr 22, 2021 13:55
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Pope Corky the IX posted:So what was the big deal? The frog was wearing a hat? Literal lol
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Apr 22, 2021 20:05
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Wedding planning update: -Venues for ceremony and reception both booked, deposits put down -Cake tasting done, bakery secured, inspiration pics for decorations sent -Guest list (mostly) nailed down, unofficial save the dates distributed to family and mutual friends Also I ordered wedding clothes for our cats. The invitations are going to be incredible  Our reception venue has caterers they work with that have some really nice options, so next up we'll be talking to them  DogoDogo posted:What is your engagement ring like? Any cues you can take from that? For example, my engagement ring is vintage from a certain era and has milgrain details (those little tiny dots), so both my husband I found bands from the same time period and also had some milgrain details, so it all feels like a set, even though it’s actually three different metals (mine are white gold e-ring and platinum band, his band is yellow gold.) That's a really good idea, thank you! Pope Corky the IX posted:So what was the big deal? The frog was wearing a hat? 
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Apr 27, 2021 14:10
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I just got off the phone with my father, who explained to me that many of my family members who were originally invited to my wedding that was cancelled last year are still expecting invitations to the 25 person backyard wedding we’re having next month, despite the fact that they will be unable to attend due to travel restrictions. We spent time and money on invitations the first time. This time around we’re planning to send an email with a cute picture and an explanation that while this isn’t what we wanted, we’re still hoping that someday we can all come together to celebrate. Is this polite, acceptable COVID etiquette? Professor Shark fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Jun 21, 2021 |
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Jun 21, 2021 00:33
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Yes Maybe plan some ultra casual potluck/pool party thing* at your rich uncle's backyard for 2022 and put that in the email * i.e. $0 cost to you, besides $50 worth of decorations and a couple coolers worth of soda Hadlock fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Jun 21, 2021 |
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Jun 21, 2021 01:38
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Question: Is it okay to open wedding gifts early? Originally we were going to wait, but we're about two weeks out and our dining room has been lost to the mountain of boxes...
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Aug 9, 2021 12:57
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PhysicsFrenzy posted:Question: Is it okay to open wedding gifts early? Originally we were going to wait, but we're about two weeks out and our dining room has been lost to the mountain of boxes... Omg absolutely yes
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Aug 9, 2021 21:43
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You won't have time to write thank you notes later, open them now
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Aug 13, 2021 00:43
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DogoDogo posted:Omg absolutely yes Hadlock posted:You won't have time to write thank you notes later, open them now Thanks. Going to start opening stuff to put it away before people arrive this week. 5 days...!
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Aug 16, 2021 11:27
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Besides, if you open all the gifts before the wedding, you know who you don't have to bother saying hi to at the reception.
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Aug 16, 2021 13:02
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Pope Corky the IX posted:Besides, if you open all the gifts before the wedding, you know who you don't have to bother saying hi to at the reception. It turns out this is gonna be tough since no one thought to send a note 
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Aug 17, 2021 19:27
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So we've been engaged for three weeks and have done zero wedding planning, no idea what we want on almost any level. We hit up a little wedding expo thing in our area to get some ideas and literally everyone we talked to wanted to know the date before almost anything else, some got really dismissive when we didn't have one which like I get because they're there to make connections that will lead to making money and not to chat with an apparently totally unprepared couple, but jeez. It made us feel pretty lovely! Where the gently caress do you even start with all this stuff? We're completely out of our depth and lack any wedding knowledge at all. Are the links in the OP still decent for info? (if it makes any difference we're a lesbian couple)
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Aug 19, 2021 19:48
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Traxus IV posted:So we've been engaged for three weeks and have done zero wedding planning, no idea what we want on almost any level. We hit up a little wedding expo thing in our area to get some ideas and literally everyone we talked to wanted to know the date before almost anything else, some got really dismissive when we didn't have one which like I get because they're there to make connections that will lead to making money and not to chat with an apparently totally unprepared couple, but jeez. It made us feel pretty lovely! My recommendation is that you first sit down and figure out your budget, the approximate number of guests you want (like a complete estimate, but are we talking 20 or 200?)and your absolute top priorities as well as your fiancée’s. This will drive a TON of your decisions. For example, we knew that my top priority was good food, so we scratched any venue off our list that required us to use certain caterers. My husband’s #1 thing was a live band, so we needed a venue that could accommodate that plus to leave enough room in the budget for it. Once you have a shortlist of venues that fit your criteria (including budget and size/number of guests), go tour them and ask what dates they have available. If you don’t have a specific date in mind, that’s great - it’ll help you be more flexible. (Eg: you won’t run into a situation where I love this venue but I must get married on may 12th and it’s not available.) once you have a venue and a date set, everything else is relatively easy. I hope that helps!
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Aug 19, 2021 20:53
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Traxus IV posted:So we've been engaged for three weeks and have done zero wedding planning, no idea what we want on almost any level. We hit up a little wedding expo thing in our area to get some ideas and literally everyone we talked to wanted to know the date before almost anything else, some got really dismissive when we didn't have one which like I get because they're there to make connections that will lead to making money and not to chat with an apparently totally unprepared couple, but jeez. It made us feel pretty lovely! DogoDogo's advice is good. I'd also sit down with your fiance and work out a rough timeline. My fiance and I were engaged for two years and only started wedding planning once we decided it was a convenient (and safe) time to have the wedding. You don't need to figure everything out right now unless you're planning on getting married imminently. As for any differences as a lesbian couple, I would just warn you to potentially expect some frustratingly heteronormative assumptions and paperwork from your vendors. Congratulations by the way!! 
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Aug 19, 2021 22:45
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Traxus IV posted:So we've been engaged for three weeks and have done zero wedding planning, no idea what we want on almost any level. We hit up a little wedding expo thing in our area to get some ideas and literally everyone we talked to wanted to know the date before almost anything else, some got really dismissive when we didn't have one which like I get because they're there to make connections that will lead to making money and not to chat with an apparently totally unprepared couple, but jeez. It made us feel pretty lovely! It's ok to not have a date set yet. Some people go a year or more before they're comfortable picking a date. I personally think that's a little long, but again, it's personal choice My advice 1. Do you want a local or destination wedding, and/or wedding in a church. That is going to dictate a lot of your choices. If you want a smaller wedding, a destination wedding (e.g. Hawaii) a lot of times comes out cheaper as your entire wedding attendance is like, 20. The availability of your venue may dictate your wedding day. Sometimes it's best to pick a season and narrow it down once you find a venue If you pick a naturally beautiful venue, I dunno, the edge of the grand canyon, a public beach, you can spend a lot less on the florist. If you save money and have it in the community hall, you'll want to spend more on the florist. We did ours in a redwood forest, I think our florist bill was $1200 and that was everything including the bouquet 2. Start touring wedding venues in the area you've selected. Just schedule like 4 per day and start going. This will give you an idea of how you might want things to work, and the venue tour person will walk you through their vision for your wedding, which can give you some ideas. I think we looked at 8 or 9 places. The venue may impact your... 3. Once you have a venue you can start booking catering, florist, dj etc. Not all vendors will be willing to travel to your venue. One caterer wanted an extra 1.5 hours pay for each staff + $60 gas money to get to our remote venue in the nearby mountains Mildly unpopular opinion: go with a place that has a required vendor list. These vendors work this venue 1-8 times a month, they know the kitchens, they know all the weird gotchas. They will know how to do everything and serve hot food (not ice cold by the time it hits their table) to all 120 of your guests in less than 20 minutes. You don't want to be a new caterer's test run for someone else's successful wedding Also, it only takes 2-3 months to pull off a wedding, lots of successful shotgun weddings happen in a shorter period of time, so don't feel like you need to drag this process out for a year unless you want to. I personally think setting a date waaaaay in the future just drags things out and adds stress. A shorter planning period forces you to make decisions and take action Finally: consider booking a venue on a Friday, especially if you have a lot of people traveling from out of town; 1. More good venues have Fridays open 2. People can party harder at your wedding, because the next day is Saturday, and their flight is Sunday 3. Friday weddings cost half as much 4. The best caterers usually have availability on Fridays 5. You get to hang out with more family on Saturday, nothing is rushed as everyone is there for the whole weekend, brunch doesn't have to be at 6am because aunt Julie has a flight back to London at 9am But yeah, go tour a bunch of venues
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Aug 20, 2021 10:42
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Offbeat Bride had a good, customizable wedding spreadsheet that I used. I liked browsing the site to see the very different things people did, too. Some will definitely not be your taste or budget and some will seem perfect, and the submissions talk about what people wish they'd done differently and what they would do again. It's helpful to see the vastly different types of weddings people have had.
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Aug 20, 2021 12:11
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Traxus IV posted:So we've been engaged for three weeks and have done zero wedding planning, no idea what we want on almost any level. We hit up a little wedding expo thing in our area to get some ideas and literally everyone we talked to wanted to know the date before almost anything else, some got really dismissive when we didn't have one which like I get because they're there to make connections that will lead to making money and not to chat with an apparently totally unprepared couple, but jeez. It made us feel pretty lovely! What's your budget? What are some must-haves? What do you absolutely not want? The budget sets the location, number of guests, type of food etc to some extent and is a great starting point. After that, think about what you want from the day - is it lots of dancing? A great meal? Superb drinks? Lawn games? And so on. A bit self indulgent perhaps, but our wedding was on Rock 'n'Roll Bride and shows some of how we prioritised and how that linked the the eventual plan. Have fun with it, dream big, and budget for a fun day but not a forever-in-debt experience.
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Aug 20, 2021 13:45
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Thank you so much guys, this has been a huge help in just getting us started. We've been feeling so lost, then the expo thing made us feel bad about not being better informed but we weren't sure where to look to learn more. There's SO MUCH out there that it all just feels overwhelming without any kind of filtering system in place. But we've got an actual plan to work through now, and I really appreciate all of the advice!
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Aug 20, 2021 17:47
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Awesome. Remember as well that you do not have to have anything! So many wedding checklists had, I dunno, robes for getting ready and corsages for flower girls and fancy chair covers and engraved hip flasks and and and... We sacked off so much of what we felt was superfluous and didn't miss any of it. You pick the bits of tradition, if any, that you want and don't feel like your wedding has to be in any set format.
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Aug 21, 2021 10:14
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Thanks for all the help, thread. My husband and I are now happily married
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Aug 22, 2021 13:37
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Had to look up to make sure you weren't the same person asking basic starting out questions, because that would have been a quick elopement!
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Aug 22, 2021 16:15
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Traxus IV posted:Thank you so much guys, this has been a huge help in just getting us started. We've been feeling so lost, then the expo thing made us feel bad about not being better informed but we weren't sure where to look to learn more. There's SO MUCH out there that it all just feels overwhelming without any kind of filtering system in place. But we've got an actual plan to work through now, and I really appreciate all of the advice! Something that was really important to me in planning our wedding and also, what matters more, our marriage, was writing our vows together. I'm extremely put off by the "I promise to cherish you, always remember pizza night with you, and not completely fill the spare bedroom with Star Wars funko pops!!!! teheheh" jokey or referency modality - it feels like this serious life step is not being taken seriously by either party, and as part of the heteronormativity of it all we really had to build our own idea of what marriage meant to us from the ground up. So figuring out what we wanted to actually promise to one another, and give the moment the gravity and joy it deserved, was paramount. Offbeat Bride has many, many great sample vows and also how to design a meaningful ceremony. Only 50% of this is logistics-related, but that was what I was missing from my planning experience at first! 
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Aug 26, 2021 07:58
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Now that I'm married, where are some places I should be updating my marital status? Neither of us changed our names, and we're both US citizens living in the US. I've already updated my tax filing status with my employer.silvergoose posted:Had to look up to make sure you weren't the same person asking basic starting out questions, because that would have been a quick elopement! Yup, just me and my lesbian husband 
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Aug 27, 2021 11:56
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Anyone got any insight/advice on suits for groom/groomsmen? Trying to figure it all out online is a little overwhelming but I also can't stand Men's Wearhouse and looking at a Jos A Bank in my area they have terrible reviews specifically for dealing with wedding stuff. I'm not opposed to setting up a consultation or something somewhere just not sure where to go.
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Sep 1, 2021 15:35
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untzthatshit posted:Anyone got any insight/advice on suits for groom/groomsmen? Trying to figure it all out online is a little overwhelming but I also can't stand Men's Wearhouse and looking at a Jos A Bank in my area they have terrible reviews specifically for dealing with wedding stuff. I'm not opposed to setting up a consultation or something somewhere just not sure where to go. The local bridal shop I got my dress from also does fittings and orders for suits, and they took good care of my husband. It's not something they advertised at all, they just brought it up when I asked for suggestions.
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Sep 1, 2021 18:52
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untzthatshit posted:Anyone got any insight/advice on suits for groom/groomsmen? Trying to figure it all out online is a little overwhelming but I also can't stand Men's Wearhouse and looking at a Jos A Bank in my area they have terrible reviews specifically for dealing with wedding stuff. I'm not opposed to setting up a consultation or something somewhere just not sure where to go. My husband used a company called The Black Tux. They do rentals via mail like Rent the Runway, but they also have boutiques within Nordstrom stores and David’s Bridal stores nationally. We found their stuff very high quality, stylish/modern, and affordable. They do have options for both renting and buying.
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Sep 1, 2021 18:54
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There's a bunch of tailors in Mexico City that will make you a bespoke tux for about $200, plus he gets to keep it afterwards. You can get the jacket/pants lining to match the wedding colors. Even factoring in plane ticket and hotel it's probably within $150 of renting a suit I got mine done in Hong Kong pre covid, I think all in, suit airfare and Airbnb was like $1100, and I wear it everywhere now
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Sep 2, 2021 05:02
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My wedding suit pants are somehow still in Texas while I am here in Mexico getting married today. I am just profoundly embarrassed, sad, angry, frustrated, and every emotion in between and it sucks for making such a mistake. My soon to be wife is going to look amazing and I’ll be lucky to look like a half put together schlub. I know we’ll be able to laugh about it afterwards and tell our stories of everything going wrong and this and that but that’s in the future and I’m living the nightmare right now.
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Sep 4, 2021 12:35
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I'm looking for a wedding band. I've been looking at this listing. 6mm. Not sure if I should get the comfort fit. I want something that won't be taken off, for the most part. I like that it doesn't have a smooth texture to it and that it's still pretty minimalist. Am I making any big mistakes here? 
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Sep 4, 2021 16:06
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George H.W. oval office posted:My wedding suit pants are somehow still in Texas while I am here in Mexico getting married today. I am just profoundly embarrassed, sad, angry, frustrated, and every emotion in between and it sucks for making such a mistake. My soon to be wife is going to look amazing and I’ll be lucky to look like a half put together schlub. I know we’ll be able to laugh about it afterwards and tell our stories of everything going wrong and this and that but that’s in the future and I’m living the nightmare right now. It’s the next day. Do you feel better now?
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Sep 4, 2021 16:30
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CeramicPig posted:It’s the next day. Do you feel better now? I feel better but I still have a few hours to go! Thank god that I have other pants that are tailored well and look good enough with the shirt I have. It’s a beach wedding that just got rained out but I think I’ll be okay. Much better spirits than 5 hours ago
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Sep 4, 2021 17:14
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The matte finish on that ring will start to naturally polish from wear fairly quickly, within months or years I had the opposite problem, got a smooth ring and by the end of year 1 it already had a rough patina from wear. Mine is made of a slightly softer alloy though. Your alloy might hold the pattern longer, but since the finish isn't cast I don't think it's a very deep finish and won't hold for a decade+. I'm not at all a jewelery expert though
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Sep 4, 2021 20:01
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Update. Everything worked out and everything was amazing. Man marriage sure is cool. Welp see ya later
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Sep 5, 2021 06:53
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Hey everyone, got a question about our photographer and a contract they are wanting us to sign. Wanted to get some input if this is standard language or not, I've copied the contract language below, our main hang up is them wanting to limit the editing of the photos and that we would be models and they can use our photos for whatever they want. Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing. Thanks! CLAUSES Entire Agreement This is the entire agreement between Photographer and Client and supersedes all previous agreements. It cannot be altered without written consent of both Photographer and Client. Cancellations If the wedding is cancelled by the client, the non refundable retainer payment will not be returned, it being the agreed loss suffered by the photographer due to cancellation. In the unlikely event the photographer determines that she is unable to complete the coverage due to unforeseen circumstances, all money (including the retainer fee) will be returned to the client. Retention of Delivered Files The digital files will be delivered to the client within 4 weeks of the event. The photos will be available for download for up to one year. If a USB copy of the photos is requested, it will be an additional $25 fee. Social Media This clause applies to all social media, including Facebook, Instagram, and blogs. The client agrees that they will under no circumstances alter the photographer’s photographs that are placed in public on the internet. The client agrees to be responsible for any family member or friend who posts our photographs online and agrees that they cannot be altered in color, or filtered in any way. Client Rights Regarding the images delivered, as digital files or otherwise, Client’s rights are limited to personal use. Photographs may not be sold or used in advertising unless otherwise specified by the Photographer. The photographs will include a print release and may be printed, and or displayed online, for personal use. Commercial uses must be expressly approved in written form by the photographer and include citation. Indemnification Client hereby agrees to indemnify, release, discharge and hold harmless the Photographer, its heirs, legal representatives, assigns, employees or any persons or corporations acting under permission or authority of the Photographer from and against any liability or claims arising as a result of any work done related to this agreement. This includes, but is not limited to claims related to the use of the likenesses of anyone captured in the images or any distortion, blurring or alteration that may occur or be produced in the taking, processing or reproduction of the photographs. Interference/Obstruction Alisha Hunsaker Photography shall be the exclusive professional photographer for client’s wedding. No clients, weddings guests and attendants or employees of the client may impede the photographer when she is shooting or performing her duties; failure to comply with this may result in missed moments or fewer delivered images. The responsibility of this will fall on the client to ensure all are in compliance. Rescheduling If, for any reason, the Client reschedules the wedding, the reservation fee may be applied to the new date. Credit may be applied to wedding coverage within one year of original date provided Photographer is available. Permissions All permits and permissions required for the Photographer to photograph the event, whether for location, personal release or any other cause, are the responsibility of the Client to obtain. Description of Services This agreement constitutes an order for wedding photography services, and any additional services outlined above in Package. It is agreed to by both parties, Photographer and Client, as described above. Client agrees to pay Total Amount by the Final Payment Due By date as defined above. Satisfaction & Accuracy The client agrees that the work delivered will be of a similar style and caliber to those photographs on website and social media sites, and that the photographer will have complete creative control during the photographs and in post processing. The images will be delivered in JPEG format with a mix of color and black and white images, and deemed appropriate by the photographer. No re-editing will be done after the final edited copies are presented to the client. Transfer This agreement cannot be transferred or assigned to any third party by either the Photographer or Client without written consent of both Parties. Limitation of Liability Although all care will be taken with these photography services and the digital photographs taken, the Photographer limits any liability for loss, injury, death, inability to perform the photography services for any reason, failure to deliver images for any reason or any other types of damages to the return of all payments already paid to the Photographer up to Total Amount defined above. Execution Digitally signing this agreement has the same effect as manually signing a paper original. Photographer Rights It is understood that any and all images, whether proofs, digital files, final prints or sample prints, and all rights to them remain the property of the Photographer. The photographer retains the right to use the photographs for the purposes of advertising or otherwise promoting her work. The client agrees that they are signing a model release to allow the use of their photographs (of themselves) for the photographer’s business purposes. Image / Shot Requests Due to the unpredictable and uncontrollable nature of weddings, the Photographer can make NO guarantees regarding the delivery of any specific photograph, although the Photographer will make every reasonable effort to meet the desires of the Client. To that end, if specific shots are requested, the Client must provide the Photographer with a written list of people, groupings, or shots that they feel are most important to them. It is the sole responsibility of the Client to point out VIP guests and request pictures of them on the day of the wedding. The Photographer shall not be held liable or responsible for any persons present at the wedding or reception that were not photographed. Cancellations If for any reason Client cancels this contract prior to or on the wedding date, Photographer shall keep the retainer and any monies paid on the date of cancellation - it being the agreed loss suffered by the photographer due to cancellation. All cancellations must be made in writing and signed by all contracted parties. Safe Working Environment Client agrees to undertake the best efforts to ensure that guests and attendees at the wedding treat Photographer and Photographer’s staff with respect and dignity and that Photographer is provided with a safe working environment. Photographer retains the right to cancel the remainder of any photography session in the event guests and/or attendees of the wedding commit any instances of sexual harassment, violence, threats or other similar behavior that would lead a reasonable person to feel unsafe in such environment. In the event of such cancellation client shall not be entitled to any refund. Reservation & Reservation Fee The Amount Due at Signing, as defined above, is a Reservation Fee. Upon receipt the Photographer will reserve the time agreed upon for the Event Date and will not make another reservation for the agreed upon time. For this reason, the Reservation Fee is non-refundable.
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Sep 20, 2021 22:57
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I would strike out the unlimited use clause, and ignore the "you can't edit my ~art~" clause, the chances of them bothering you about that is low. Seems like a case of inflated ego give awry. Mostly just depends on how much energy you want to put into this stuff Our photographer sent us a 1tb ssd with all the raw files on it, and I think we had to sign a liability waiver that we wouldn't sue if they dropped a camera on our toe. And we verbally agreed to be included in their online portfolio Call a lawyer if you're especially concerned Me personally, I'd close my eyes and sign on the X
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Sep 21, 2021 01:18
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Hello friendly wedding goons. First time poster. Is it normal to have anxiety over how much your spending on you’re wedding even if you can 100% with a doubt afford it? Like….. to spend this much on one day is just insane to me. I am really trying to embrace that it is a once in a lifetime event. I’m slowly coming around to that. But the reality that I’m going to spend 6k to rent a barn ALONE is just difficult for my frugal rear end to come to terms with
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Sep 25, 2021 00:48
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hobbez posted:Hello friendly wedding goons. First time poster. Is it normal to have anxiety over how much your spending on you’re wedding even if you can 100% with a doubt afford it? Like….. to spend this much on one day is just insane to me. If you don't want to spend loads of money, then don't? We spent about £7k all in for our day, the idea of spending any more of that was insane to us when e could use that money for so many other things. There's a lot of nonsense that you can get wrapped up in but if it's not for you, that's cool, do what you want with the budget you want to set.
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Sep 30, 2021 17:54
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What's a good resource for invitation printing? We're in NYC so using a brick&mortar might be easier for us but are there any recommended online places that will be able to send invitations to us quickly and cheaply? Also: is theknot.com considered the better of the websites to set-up for information? That seems to be what everyone is using these days?
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Jan 7, 2023 16:04
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