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Lazyfire posted:With all things, it comes down to budgets. If you have a marketing budget and can't possibly spend it on glossy line cards and paid articles in Newsweek, you dump money into dumb poo poo like TV, internet and radio ads. I can still remember when GE's turbine division started running ads about their super awesome gas and steam turbine product lines in front of YouTube videos and being super confused why they would be trying to sell people on things they couldn't afford in a lifetime. Or have any use for. To be fair they are pretty sweet turbines.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:10
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Directors/VPs/investors all watch TV/Youtube like every other schlub and advertising works for every type of purchase. Company values are typically investor targeted advertisements although they actually work for hiring/job awareness too because not everyone is a cynic I guess. Large purchasing decisions are driven at the top of management. Advertising brain real estate is valuable here so any impression is a good impression and you might need to cast the net wide when your target population is 200 alien reptilians spread across the US.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:17
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zedprime posted:Directors/VPs/investors all watch TV/Youtube like every other schlub and advertising works for every type of purchase. Company values are typically investor targeted advertisements although they actually work for hiring/job awareness too because not everyone is a cynic I guess. Large purchasing decisions are driven at the top of management. Advertising brain real estate is valuable here so any impression is a good impression and you might need to cast the net wide when your target population is 200 alien reptilians spread across the US. Not even the just highest echelon needs to see them, random engineers or other expert are enough. Even if the bosses have to sign off on it, engineers use components worth millions, and if they're looking for a new pump and just saw an ad for the MegaSuck 3000 oil pump, then that's the first model they're going to check out. On the other hand youtube also sometimes just doesn't let go, I was studying for a sensor exam in uni with youtube, and got ads for random flow sensor components for years.
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Apr 19, 2021 14:52
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Ugly In The Morning posted:To be fair they are pretty sweet turbines. 7FA.05 4 LYFE
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Apr 19, 2021 14:59
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I once needed to look up the details of sex toys for the disabled at work. Even with private browsing on it hosed with my ad results for a while.
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Apr 19, 2021 15:01
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Hokkaido Anxiety posted:7FA.05 4 LYFE The power plant construction project I did safety on had three of em paired with a HRSG each and it was awesome.
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Apr 19, 2021 15:22
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goatface posted:I once needed to look up the details of sex toys for the disabled at work. Even with private browsing on it hosed with my ad results for a while. Like automated handjob sort of things?
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Apr 19, 2021 15:25
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There were some "automatic male genital massagers", yes, lots of fancy overengineered fleshlights, but also simpler things like vibrators with larger controls that could be controlled by people struggling with fine motor control, some stuff like body supports and things like pillows with dildos built into them that could be rocked on in comfort. Mostly stuff that never went past prototype or the design phase. Patent filings. That sort of thing.
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Apr 19, 2021 15:35
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goatface posted:There were some "automatic male genital massagers", yes, lots of fancy overengineered fleshlights, but also simpler things like vibrators with larger controls that could be controlled by people struggling with fine motor control, some stuff like body supports and things like pillows with dildos built into them that could be rocked on in comfort. Did you check out the autoblow 2.0 Because that thing is hilarious and so is the ad
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Apr 19, 2021 15:40
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The motherfucking Task Sheet. Theoretically I understand the task sheet, which can be used to document how much time is being spent on different projects. I have worked jobs where the task sheet was nicely automated and I selected whatever project I was assigned to from a drop-down menu and then could document time spent on the project in 15 minute increments. In my current job the task sheet is a google spreadsheet, and the nature of the job is such that my tasks are rarely discrete enough to divide by projects. I'm answering emails, I'm making endless weird phone calls, I'm in a meeting, I'm making the paperwork in Word, I'm filling out the paperwork, I'm scheduling a delivery. I don't have the brainspace to remember how much time I spent doing each thing. I'd need to set aside an hour each day, which I would put in the task sheet as "3:00-4:00pm -- Tried to remember everything I did today so I can fill out this bullshit task sheet"
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Apr 19, 2021 15:42
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Ugly In The Morning posted:The power plant construction project I did safety on had three of em paired with a HRSG each and it was awesome. I used to get to do walk throughs in steam plants and even the small steam turbines were crazy machines. I've spent almost my entire career around different turbines in some way and those are still the most intense ones I've seen.
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Apr 19, 2021 16:56
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goatface posted:There were some "automatic male genital massagers", yes, lots of fancy overengineered fleshlights, but also simpler things like vibrators with larger controls that could be controlled by people struggling with fine motor control, some stuff like body supports and things like pillows with dildos built into them that could be rocked on in comfort. We got all fired up to do an IoT dildo (about ten years back, so before such things existed). The meeting was excruciating because our engineers couldn't stop giggling
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Apr 19, 2021 17:55
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Mojo Jojo posted:We got all fired up to do an IoT dildo (about ten years back, so before such things existed). The meeting was excruciating because our engineers couldn't stop giggling "We need to check the values on the sensors when the user enters 'The Spunk Zone!' as it's imperative that we don't injure the user."
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Apr 19, 2021 18:00
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Lazyfire posted:I used to get to do walk throughs in steam plants and even the small steam turbines were crazy machines. I've spent almost my entire career around different turbines in some way and those are still the most intense ones I've seen. I miss working with those beasts and I’m constantly looking for LNG plant construction starts so I can go back to it.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:16
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Tarkus posted:"We need to check the values on the sensors when the user enters 'The Spunk Zone!' as it's imperative that we don't injure the user." I read whole pages of stuff that was about ensuring the maximum suction selectable on their hugely adjustable fleshlight was not enough to cause damage to the peen of an overenthusiastic user.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:25
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HR sent me a passive aggressive e-mail about how it looks like one my staff "isn't working out" because of how much time off they've been taking. This person has been with the company for at least a few years, but made the apparently unforgivable mistake of using most of their accrued sick time (Oh they also have over 60 hours of vacation time in the bank).
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Apr 19, 2021 18:35
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ah, the ultimate weasel phrase. you've worked here for two years with nothing but glowing reviews from everyone but you didnt come to the christmas party and it pissed off the CEO? sorry, it just wasn't working out
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Apr 19, 2021 18:39
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Freakin' classic. When you see the seriously most heads-down, always-overtime workers get let go because they weren't very sociable or whatever, it absolutely kills any desire to work hard. The appearance of working hard is way more important.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:42
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boar guy posted:ah, the ultimate weasel phrase. you've worked here for two years with nothing but glowing reviews from everyone but you didnt come to the christmas party and it pissed off the CEO? sorry, it just wasn't working out Bingo, HR also CCed the executive in that e-mail which means this is 1000% on their orders. This executive disagrees with all suggestions on general principle so it's pointless to argue this one, I'm just going to send a short response that I'm looking into it and hopefully it's forgotten when someone else gets targeted.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:45
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"We explained to the client how AGILE works and they said No." - Project Management
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Apr 19, 2021 18:48
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'it just wasn't working out' is what you say in any situation where there's no cause to fire someone, but you don't want to get sued. a classic 'at-will' employment sham that keeps all the power with the employer
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Apr 19, 2021 18:49
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Just got an on the down low heads up from a coworker that when attending big interdepartmental meetings to not talk about equity issues in my department in case one of the higher ups decides to follow up. I probably put a target on my back for what I said, but why make it mandatory to attend those meetings, blowing off an entire working day talking about it if we're to not discuss it?
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Apr 19, 2021 18:57
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boar guy posted:'it just wasn't working out' is what you say in any situation where there's no cause to fire someone, but you don't want to get sued. a classic 'at-will' employment sham that keeps all the power with the employer It's also for people who follow the rules but are toxic for some reason. Like constantly bitching about everything and everyone else or dragging their asses around because they're mad about something we can do nothing about. I make sure people like that get shot out the door at high speed, they make everyone's day suck.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:58
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Ugly In The Morning posted:I miss working with those beasts and I’m constantly looking for LNG plant construction starts so I can go back to it. Unless the industry has been completely changed in the last six years, you may be better off looking for coal-to-gas conversion plants. A lot of our old customers found it more palatable to mothball the boiler and convert to a gas turbine, or upgrade their starter turbine and rip out the old steam one. I have to think I'm behind the times just because of how few coal plants were around back then and how fast they were converting or shutting down.
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Apr 19, 2021 18:59
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Tarkus posted:It's also for people who follow the rules but are toxic for some reason. Like constantly bitching about everything and everyone else or dragging their asses around because they're mad about something we can do nothing about. I make sure people like that get shot out the door at high speed, they make everyone's day suck. i feel like personality/culture fits should be screened for during interviews but I was mainly talking about telling someone that it's not working out after they've been on the job for a while and it clearly is. I think a personality clash is a perfectly valid reason to fire someone
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Apr 19, 2021 19:00
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boar guy posted:i feel like personality/culture fits should be screened for during interviews but I was mainly talking about telling someone that it's not working out after they've been on the job for a while and it clearly is. I think a personality clash is a perfectly valid reason to fire someone A lot of times the kind of toxicity that I'm talking about is cultivated over the years that they work there. Many times these people start off great but the bitterness seeps in. They'll sneak around from person to person sowing misery and start refusing to do jobs because they think they're too good for them. Like, everyone has poo poo to say about their job but when you spend 20% of your time bitching to other people, it's time to mosey on along.
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Apr 19, 2021 19:10
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The employment guide for my work! OSS handbook for industrial sabotage in occupied France
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Apr 19, 2021 19:44
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Tarkus posted:A lot of times the kind of toxicity that I'm talking about is cultivated over the years that they work there. Many times these people start off great but the bitterness seeps in. They'll sneak around from person to person sowing misery and start refusing to do jobs because they think they're too good for them. Like, everyone has poo poo to say about their job but when you spend 20% of your time bitching to other people, it's time to mosey on along. If multiple great people are becoming bitter and sneaking around trying to start a mutiny because they feel undervalued then uhhh maybe there’s some kind of workplace problem? Yeeting them out the door is one solution though
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Apr 19, 2021 19:57
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poisonpill posted:The employment guide for my work! it's uncanny how these excerpts read like a parody of modern workplaces. it's written like it's an ironic take on the modern HR guidelines for managers and employees but it's a completely serious document on wartime economic disruption did you distribute this handbook to my previous workplaces? be honest
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Apr 19, 2021 19:59
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-Act stupid Way ahead of ya there chief!
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Apr 19, 2021 20:15
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Rent-A-Cop posted:"We explained to the client how AGILE works and they said No." correct
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Apr 19, 2021 20:25
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Lazyfire posted:I used to get to do walk throughs in steam plants and even the small steam turbines were crazy machines. I've spent almost my entire career around different turbines in some way and those are still the most intense ones I've seen. I worked with some people that had come off some conversion projects but it seems to be mostly new construction... well, when they’re doing construction at all. Still pissed the timing of when I got Cornavirus meant I didn’t get to transfer to Vogtel EGP.
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Apr 19, 2021 20:39
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Volmarias posted:I'm confused. You get 10 sick days in 12 months but you're repremanded for using more than 5 in 12 months? Exactly accurate. Also counterpoint: Sick leave rolls over basically forever and you can cash out 1250 hours upon retirement and get paid outright up to that amount. It's a confusing dichotomy. Also If you use less than 3 shifts a year sick you get 27 bonus hours to spend however you like, which also accumulate to 270 total maximum which also get cashed out at full value when you retire. This encourages people to work sick instead of calling out which is a fantastic idea. Especially lately. A lot of things are off and contradictory but balanced by the fact that all in all including banked vacation time they end up writing us a lump check for 1920 hours the day you retire assuming you planned ahead and banked the necessary time. Taxes the year you retire year is a real bastard, as I am told... Meanwhile we keep paying Motorola for software products that the sales teams talks up to us despite, as far as I can tell, don't physically exist at the time we sign the contract. As far as I can tell they hire contract coders to invent this product after the sales team has sold it. This has repeatedly not worked well, as shocking as that is. Yet we seem to keep doing it.
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Apr 19, 2021 21:27
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BitBasher posted:
This was some of the poo poo that got us in trouble when my bosses son didn't know that a sales person saying "yeah that's not a problem for the programmers to do" is not the same as the programmer actually doing it and having it in hand to show you.
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Apr 19, 2021 21:42
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Don't provide a list of things you can do, they just say "what do you need" and then insist you can provide it. Coders are cheap, customers are easily bullied into not enforcing contract default clauses (if they can't be bullied out of omitting them entirely). Sure, you're a reprehensible poo poo-stain on the soul of our already rather faecal tinted species, but you made the sale. Someone got richer.
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Apr 19, 2021 21:49
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I've really enjoyed being on an open ended T&M contract because I can say "everything is possible for the developers if you have enough time and money" with a straight face and clean conscience because we then estimate the pie in the sky thing and it's immediately cut out of the backlog as idiotic.
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Apr 19, 2021 21:55
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Jobs where they tell the new guy, me, things like: "Oh were going to get busy soon," when all teams are beyond capacity. And: "This isnt even busy, mate". Its just a weird form of subtle hazing basically telling a new person "weve all been through more than you and are happy to remind you of it". It also just seems like an excuse for middle managers to stay off the tools when their team is getting smashed. I used to see it in kitchens alot.
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Apr 19, 2021 22:47
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Rent-A-Cop posted:"We explained to the client how AGILE works and they said No." Nobody is actually agile. There’s just different levels of pretending to be it
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Apr 19, 2021 22:51
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BitBasher posted:Meanwhile we keep paying Motorola for software products that the sales teams talks up to us despite, as far as I can tell, don't physically exist at the time we sign the contract. As far as I can tell they hire contract coders to invent this product after the sales team has sold it. This has repeatedly not worked well, as shocking as that is. Yet we seem to keep doing it. This is extremely common these days. There are even seminars/books going around where you can pay to receive a guide on starting your own business - one where you sell software that doesnt exist and use the deposits to hire cheap foreign labor to create it.
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Apr 19, 2021 23:08
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Our small company got bought out by a large company a while back. We have a single really efficient web based system from a well-known vendor for things like RMAs, orders, quotes, and pretty much everything that we have been customizing for optimum efficiency over the years to the point we barely have to think about it, it's wonderful and transparent, and most of all fast. any "digital paperwork" you need to do is done in 30 seconds of computer touching, and then it's back to doing real work. it has been no problem integrating that with their stuff for the past year and continuing to work productively, but now they want to have us use their insanely bad mixture of a dozen compartmentalized pieces of software for different tasks, none of which seem to have been updated since 1998, everything requires really old versions of IE and Java. really simple things like "assigning an RMA number" and "closing out an order" that were automated on our system will now require manual intervention, from somebody not at our location. Instead of human readable part identifiers it will all be random strings of numerals, because their software doesn't support the goddamn alphabet, so we have to re-name hundreds of parts. there are simple actions that take about 15 minutes to "process", and nobody can explain why. think of the most un-intuitive, rear end-backwards way of doing anything on a user interface and their software will have it in triplicate. they are used to measuring lead times for orders and repairs in terms of weeks, while our customers get pissed if something takes more than a few days 
d0s fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Apr 19, 2021 |
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Apr 19, 2021 23:26
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