PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

It's YouTube comments, there's no way they're satisfied until sausageman eats the dirt. It's worse than the Roman Coliseum in there.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:34

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 14:47

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

Elviscat posted:

It's YouTube comments, there's no way they're satisfied until sausageman eats the dirt. It's worse than the Roman Coliseum in there.

the sausageman is trapped in a hell of his own making. he learned how the sausage is made and now he is forever damned.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:36

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

You can go outside and eat dirt yourself, it's everywhere, and free, you can just take it and put it in your mouth, nobody will stop you.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:36

Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

I think you might have Pica if you're shoveling dirt in your mouth.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:37

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

zedprime posted:

On one hand as a safety stickler I appreciate sticking to something officially recognized as a food additive. On the other hand as a bad food spectacle tourist, edible clay seems much more sausage worthy.

I'd much rather eat kaolin than diatomaceous earth, but I'd really rather not do either

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:41

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Elviscat posted:

I think you might have Pica if you're shoveling dirt in your mouth.

I think a diglett is more likely

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:43

Scarodactyl: Oct 22, 2015

fizzymercury posted:

You only got one? We had at least ten pizzas a week with no cheese and it was always so, so dire.

I have pondered this since I can't eat red meat or cheese, but wouldn't mind adding vegan cheese and broiling it a bit. J imagine the inside of a dominoes pizza oven is caked in deadly pepperoni grease though.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 18:58

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:25

seance snacks: Mar 30, 2007

Saw this earlier on /r/mildlyinfuriating

I love it when horseshoe theory ends up with people paying top dollar for a fine dining experience that resembles scraps swept up from the kitchen floor

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:32

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Vegas seems like the premier place to shill overpriced garbage to rubes with more money than sense or taste.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:39

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

seance snacks posted:

Saw this earlier on /r/mildlyinfuriating

I love it when horseshoe theory ends up with people paying top dollar for a fine dining experience that resembles scraps swept up from the kitchen floor

fyre festival style cuisine.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:39

Yoshi Jjang: Oct 5, 2011; renard renard renarnd renrard

renard

This one's a rollercoaster.

https://twitter.com/3k___pnt/status/1385797001120387074

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:42

Sekhmnet: Jan 22, 2019

Aardvark! posted:

is that bunny chow?

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:42

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

hallo spacedog posted:

Vegas seems like the premier place to shill overpriced garbage to rubes with more money than sense or taste.

That's not usually what Vegas's scam is supposed to be. I thought they usually tried to price food and entertainment relatively low so they can bait you into the gambling.

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:51

boar guy: Jan 25, 2007

SlothfulCobra posted:

That's not usually what Vegas's scam is supposed to be. I thought they usually tried to price food and entertainment relatively low so they can bait you into the gambling.

not any more. everything is expensive as gently caress. like $65 for johnnie walker black anywhere on the strip, get the gently caress out of here with that poo poo. vegas loving sucks

# ? Apr 25, 2021 20:57

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Elviscat posted:

It's an anti-caking and anti-insect additive for livestock feed apparently.

People have been bugging Mr. Sausage to do a dirt sausage for awhile.

ALL YOUR MOTHERS -mr ordinary sausage

e;

zedprime posted:

On one hand as a safety stickler I appreciate sticking to something officially recognized as a food additive. On the other hand as a bad food spectacle tourist, edible clay seems much more sausage worthy.

Clay is what it looks like in the sausage.

MariusLecter has a new favorite as of 21:34 on Apr 25, 2021

# ? Apr 25, 2021 21:30

drrockso20: May 6, 2013; Has Not Actually Done Cocaine

OwlFancier posted:

As far as I know it's the same stuff as celite which is a filtration agent. It has a lot of uses though yeah you can use it to kill ants and other ant-like insects.

But as far as I am aware it has no nutritional value.

I know of it primarily for use in pool filters

# ? Apr 25, 2021 22:11

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

# ? Apr 25, 2021 23:24

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Tongue or bologna?

# ? Apr 25, 2021 23:27

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Zil posted:

Tongue or bologna?

# ? Apr 25, 2021 23:32

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Aardvark! posted:

I don't see any cold slaw

# ? Apr 25, 2021 23:35

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

this just gets more confusing the more i look at it

# ? Apr 25, 2021 23:43

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Aardvark! posted:

this just gets more confusing the more i look at it

This is what happens when you let neural net AIs write the menu

# ? Apr 26, 2021 00:23

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

When the moon hits your eye like a macaroni pie,

That's a burger.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 02:10

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

way too reasonable for 1976

# ? Apr 26, 2021 02:16

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I'm a fan of 'a burger...with CHEESE?' being revolutionary enough to be its own 'recipe', personally.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 02:19

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Dibs on the dill burger

No shame

# ? Apr 26, 2021 03:11

HELLOMYNAMEIS___: Dec 30, 2007

# ? Apr 26, 2021 03:41

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Why would anyone need to liven up a burger

It's a burger

Burgers are amazing

# ? Apr 26, 2021 04:22

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

I would eat any of those burgers happily.

Except maybe the #5 with browned mayo, but hell that's how I make grilled cheese sandwiches anyway so probably

HELLOMYNAMEIS___ posted:

Is that bad carbonara or worse strogranoff?

# ? Apr 26, 2021 04:35

WITCHCRAFT: Aug 28, 2007; Berries That Burn

uber_stoat posted:

jesus christ!

i do find fascinating just how tightly memories of trauma can get tangled up with sensations. i got the worst food poisoning of my life when i was a kid after eating chicken fried steak with cream gravy, just a full day of lying on my side in bed vomiting into a trash can, and i have never consumed either one of those things ever again.

i had my tonsils out too and my only memory of that is that they let me eat tons of ice cream afterwards.

I did the thing where they put a robot squid eyeball down your throat and up your rear end (hopefully in that order), and you have to eat nothing but clear liquids (broth, ice pops) for 24 hours beforehand and drink a gallon of poo poo YOUR BRAINS OUT prescription only fluid to make sure everything is squeaky clean for the camera to see.

I chose pineapple flavor poo poo YOUR BRAINS OUT juice. It tasted fine, like pineapple gatorade. I poo poo my brains out. I was not able to ingest anything artificially pineapple flavored for 5+ years.

It's not something you consciously think about all the time, but your brain keeps a list of Forbidden Foods Based on Past Experience. As soon as it touches your tongue, some deep instinctual part of your brain is slapping the tongue and nose receptors with a ruler. NO, NO, BAD, THIS BAD, YOU GET SICK, DO NOT EAT. CANNOT EAT. YOU GET REAL SICK. NO. NO!

It's like when you catch your cat trying to eat a rubber band or a hair tie. You interfere and make loud noises and soft slaps and take it away. The cat/your tastebuds do not understand, but they do not enjoy the experience. Maybe next time they don't try to eat it. Maybe.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 05:08

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Butterscotch pudding and overly artificial vanilla flavoring does it for me. I couldn�t tell you what I had as a kid that set it off, but custard is basically like that scene from Dead Alive to me. Caramel and flan is fine (thank god), but even some scented candles set off a retch.

# ? Apr 26, 2021 05:19

WITCHCRAFT: Aug 28, 2007; Berries That Burn

LifeSunDeath posted:

https://twitter.com/curlyixing/status/1385244507713777667?s=20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcQ3K7-I1AM

# ? Apr 26, 2021 05:40

Obnoxipus: Apr 4, 2011

apparently, it's vegan "organic blueberry and homegrown passionfruit banana ice cream."

# ? Apr 26, 2021 05:53

baw: Nov 5, 2008; RESIDENT: LAISSEZ FAIR-SNEZHNEVSKY INSTITUTE FOR FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY

Obnoxipus posted:

apparently, it's vegan "organic blueberry and homegrown passionfruit banana ice cream."

passionfruit may be the most hosed up looking fruit

# ? Apr 26, 2021 06:26

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

dragonfruit is the worst because it looks like itll taste amazing and it tastes like nothing. even in tropical areas where its supposed to be grown and stuff it tastes like nothing

# ? Apr 26, 2021 06:31