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Sorting Algorithms
Feb 7, 2021
Good afternoon Goons,

I don't post here very often but I've discovered a frankly incredible film. One so singularly inept, bizarre, and fetishistic that the internet at large needs to be aware of this film. Much like the polio vaccine, it's a crime against humanity to not share such a wonder with the world. And considering its been over a month since the film released on Amazon and it seems to be languishing in obscurity (in no small part thanks to the completely SEO-proof title) I guess that responsibility falls on me.

I speak of the recently-released film That One Amazing Movie, the culmination of 21 years of work from relatively obscure Web 1.0 weirdo Imari Stevenson AKA Imari 16-bit Imarea AKA Veon Prism Media Studios:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3ADdLudNI8

Imari 16-bit Imarea posted:

Psychologically troubled and near suicidal Steve Keller(himself), Drew Martin (Alec Vanowen) and Matthew Scotts (Juan Gomez) are three ex-computer hackers turned virtual reality designers. To outlive their past, these three aim to pitch their HMD, the Hyper Mental Homeboys which are cutting edge portable virtual reality headsets to the prestigious trade-show ITS 3. Their hopes are if they manage to find backers to invest in them, they'll be successful and their lives will turn around for the best. Things get even more interesting when three models enter their lives. The ladies need computer hackers to hack into Cinatas Yenom Media and shut them down for good. Why? Oh, that's simple Cinatas Yenom Media is planning to take over the world using viruses disguised as photo-realistic swimsuit models. Highly reluctant, the guys agree to help the girls, as long as they raise the money to get to ITS since hey, getting the girls in this story has to wait. Now the trio must use the HMH and enter the virtual realm to battle Cinatas Yenom Media and Yuna who's an unstable AI. Luckily they won't be alone because for the first time ever in this hybrid movie between animation and live action, all Veon Prism Media characters from 1987 to present will be lending a hand.



For people who weren't lurking on Portal of Evil back in the Bush administration, Imari Stevenson is a now 38 year-old otaku, Christian, and inflation fetishist who has been steadily churning out weird fiction over the years, starting with game design documents before moving on to novels and short films. That One Amazing Movie is the culmination of all this work, a three-hour long magnum opus where, to paraphrase Gamemaster Anthony, every character he's ever created comes in for a HUGE battle in cyberspace. What makes TOAM stand out is that despite the lengthy runtime almost every scene has something funny or bizarre happening in it: characters have insanely on-the-nose names like Judas Barabas, professional female bodybuilders lament that men these days can't act like real men, Imari himself converts the characters to Christianity at the end...probably the longest and most boring scene in the whole film is a minute-long shot of a character reading a text message, and even then it's really funny because the dude struggles to read and the whole thing is really uncomfortable and awkward:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8Iy4-EZEK0

The fact that the live-action bits are so cheap and slapdash stands in contrast to the CGI bits, which obviously took a lot of time and effort even if they still look like poo poo. The fights are hilarious fanime nonsense where people scream at each other, throw cars, and shrug off hundreds of bullets to the head but the most baffling recurring thing is that every woman in the film acts as an outlet for Imari's inflation fetish:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIQtTNRz-v4&t=1s

The biggest obstacle on selling people on this movie is the fact that it isn't available on any streaming platforms, your only option is to rent or buy it from Amazon. I made a lengthy YouTube video that contains many of the best scenes, however:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tK7eCtJLHOM

Also, eager to claim that That One Amazing Movie is "the world's first interactive VR feature film", he's uploaded chunks of the movie to YouTube in a crappy 3d format you can watch in your browser:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEjItY8USzQ

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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Satanic Money Media. Cute.

Sorting Algorithms
Feb 7, 2021

Applewhite posted:

Satanic Money Media. Cute.

The bad guy's henchman is named Reficul, which is Lucifer spelled backwards.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

So why do you know about this weirdo, OP? You into inflation fetish stuff or what?

Sorting Algorithms
Feb 7, 2021

1redflag posted:

So why do you know about this weirdo, OP? You into inflation fetish stuff or what?

He was a classic Portal of Evil exhibit. The F-Plus podcast has also done readings of his materials. Imari is great because he's the one Ideas Guy that was actually willing and able to learn Maya and make his own bizarre tales come to life without letting things like "skill" and "self-awareness" get in the way, I've been following his output for years.

Katamari Democracy
Jan 19, 2010

Guess what! :love:
Guess what this is? :love:
A Post, Just for you! :love:
Wedge Regret
drat! I didn't know Lowtax teamed up with Doug Walker in directing lovely internet movies!

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Sorting Algorithms posted:

The bad guy's henchman is named Reficul, which is Lucifer spelled backwards.

That's a good name if you're the son of Lucifer and Dracula.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Thank you, OP, for these highlights from the obscure new film by this unerappreciated producer/director/fetishist.

All the inflation has left me wondering what it would be like if a man's testicles were inflated to immense size. I intend to submit a script treatment to the talented Mr Stevenson, tentatively titled "The Curse Of The Behemoth Balls".

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Is that you Gurf?

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
That one movie? Oh yeah, amazing. Don'tcha know

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I;m thinking about that movie.



You know the one.

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
Finally I know Gurf's real name.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Weka posted:

Finally I know Gurf's real name.

oof.

Sorting Algorithms
Feb 7, 2021
Imari commented on my video, what a dang king.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Inflate your rear end with a tire pump while you watch it so you get the full VR experience.

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

Cant wait to spam goontube with this hot garbage.

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Poohs Packin posted:

Cant wait to spam goontube with this hot garbage.

Love 2 spam u bay-be

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