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Dignity Van Houten posted:Update - was able to get gas. Crisis is winding down. Currently considering learning how to hack servers in a country with no extradition treaty with the US and demand bitcoin ransoms in poultry farms or something benign... Seems like easy money. France doesn't extradite any French Citizen to anywhere for any reason. Have to become French though.
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May 13, 2021 18:56
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Chumbawumba4ever97 posted:I know bitcoin is supposed to be "anonymous" but isn't it actually ridiculously easy to track and they'll probably find the people responsible? It's ridiculously easy to track as it moves around the bitcoin network but: 1) you can bounce it around ridiculously easily, or convert it into other forms of cryptocurrencies that are harder to track. 2) you can send it in and out of exchanges, at which point you have to get the exchanges' internal records 3) most of the exchanges know they're doing big business with criminals and half of them are criminals themselves. Basically until the US & EU start blocking the offshore exchanges that avoid all the normal financial KYC rules from using the normal money system, this stuff will just get worse and worse.
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May 13, 2021 19:00
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Mulaney Power Move posted:i thought the petroleum industry was supposed to be tough, merciless even. i mean if you own an oil pipeline you should be able to hire a hit squad to crucify some greasy eastern european hackers. They don't care, they paid $5 million dollars but are probably going to make $100 million dollars because the demand went up for the gas and now they can charge more for it and they are going to take their time lowering the gas prices back...
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May 13, 2021 19:28
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:France doesn't extradite any French Citizen to anywhere for any reason. Have to become French though. Hard pass
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May 13, 2021 19:38
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just ride a bike lmao
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May 13, 2021 20:09
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Colonel Cancer posted:Buy a bike
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May 13, 2021 20:10
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Nooner posted:IVE GOT SOME GAS FOR YA OP!!
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May 13, 2021 20:11
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:Koch Brothers announce new partnership with Gazprom in an unrelated story several russian neckbeards have gone missing I was just thinking that the feds could probably get their hands on almost any eastern european cybercriminal they want just by paying the right people someone get Biden on the phone so i can tell him my great idea Fojar38 fucked around with this message at 21:19 on May 13, 2021 |
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May 13, 2021 21:16
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Fojar38 posted:I was just thinking that the feds could probably get their hands on almost any eastern european cybercriminal they want just by paying the right people maybe biden could deploy some kind of hunter to a location in eastern europe
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May 13, 2021 21:38
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if extralegal corporate hit squads can keep me from waiting in line for gas, hell
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May 13, 2021 23:07
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I say, if you yanks can't buy gas, why not use an electric cooker instead?
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May 13, 2021 23:20
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literally roll coal
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May 13, 2021 23:30
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I'm glad there's no gas.
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May 13, 2021 23:48
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BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:France doesn't extradite any French Citizen to anywhere for any reason. Have to become French though. Join the French Foreign Legion and spill some blood for France. Bingo bango you're French.
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May 13, 2021 23:49
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I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash and I'm outta gas! Gas! Gas!
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May 13, 2021 23:54
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Droppin some rear end I got gas gas gas
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May 14, 2021 01:04
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Wheels down Gas up That's the way I like to truck
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May 14, 2021 01:40
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Seriously, gas prices are up across the country. The gas companies are getting way more than 5 million dollars for this. The execs probably are behind it so they could get a nice 2nd quarter bonus.
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May 14, 2021 02:15
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https://youtu.be/YSCGcmIREFM?t=1 What do we get for ten dollars? Half a gallon of gas. Half a gallon? Half a gallon. "Oh! yeah pump it, baby! Ah!" "Hold on this! Oh, stick it to me, Ah!" "Oh" Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Sittin' at home with my empty car So I got the app going for to gas the car typed in the U R L and scrolled around the map Said, "Yo, i found a gas station i hope that its with it" I walked out the house, opened the car door Not having no idea of what the night had in store I've got an empty tank, my gauge shows the warning I have an appetite for gas, 'cause me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Girls always ask me why I truck so much I say "What's wrong, baby doll, my truck got the nutZZZ?" 'Cause you're the one, and you should be glad I won't tell your mama that I stole all your gas I know she'll be disgusted when she sees your tank is busted Won't your papa be so mad if he knew I got that gas? I've got an empty tank, the gauge shows the warning My appetite is gas, 'cause me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line You can say I'm desperate, even call me real nervous But you'll say i'm a jerk when I steal your place at self service I'll ram in to your car just like its a game I'll be pumping that gas while you're going insane I'm just like that man they call Georgie gently caress off pie I'll pump all that gas, and I hope you die I've got an empty tank, the gauge shows the warning I have an appetite for gas, 'cause me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line "Hold on this! Oh, stick it to me, Ah!" "Hold on this! Oh, stick it to me, Ah!" "Hold on this! Oh, stick it to me, Ah!" "Hold on this! Oh, stick it to me, Ah!" Ah, Me so empty Ah, Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line It's true, you needed gas and then you met me I was the first to steal your spot because you let me You told your parents you were going out only to the station then back to your house bought that gas yourself, I stole that from you too Put my gun in your face and took your wallet too I've got an empty tank, the gauge shows the warning My appetite is gas, 'cause me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Ah, Me so empty Me sit in long line "pumpy pumpy" "pumpy pumpy" "Me pumpy pumpy" "pumpy pumpy" "pumpy pumpy" "Me pumpy pumpy" "pumpy pumpy" "pumpy pumpy" "Me pumpy pumpy" Me so empty So, so empty Me so empty Me sit in long line "pumpy pumpy" "Me pumpy pumpy" Me so empty
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May 14, 2021 02:36
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Mozi posted:two funny things - the hack didn't shut down the pipeline per se, it just prevented them from billing people I think this lede is buried deep in this story, people don't seem to care about this part of the hacking. The refineries are still turning crude into gas, the pumps are still powered by the electric grid, and the pipelines still exist. Instead, the issue is the company who owns the pipeline can no longer bill its customers, so the gas stations who buy Colonial's gas are running low. lmfao capitalism is broken
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May 14, 2021 03:22
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Phobophilia posted:I think this lede is buried deep in this story, people don't seem to care about this part of the hacking. oh THAT'S what caused the shutdown? I thought there was some sort of computer regulation on the pipeline! Jesus CHRIST
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May 14, 2021 03:27
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Funky See Funky Do posted:If you built a bird feeder, then filled it with sunflower seeds, honey, and all the other good things that birds love to eat but the only thing it attracted was ants then why did you build it? To attract birds that eat ants? That was clever of you. Computers aren't going to suck your dick bro
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May 14, 2021 03:32
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Phobophilia posted:I think this lede is buried deep in this story, people don't seem to care about this part of the hacking. It's more complicated than that, as much as we all love to hate on capitalism. Billing systems have things like customer records and addresses in them, and were part of what became inaccessible. So even if we had immediately nationalized the infrastructure and ordered Colonial to give away all of the gasoline for free, they would have to rebuild the list of where to even send the gas before it could get flowing.
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May 14, 2021 03:33
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You could probably get away with IOUs in the short term and clear up the billing issues afterwards, because they don't supply the end user, but supply gas stations. But Colonial decided to just choke off supply. Was it the right decision for their bottom line? Who the hell knows, they can probably take advantage of a spike in prices. In the long run, this is just going to be a blip in the overall supply, the gas will flow. Which makes this hoarding all the stupider, because you're buying at gas station markups right as the price is highest and it's going to be mouldering away in your garage doing nothing as the price returns to normal. It's hard to understate how dangerous gasoline can be, the recent Kyoto Animation arson attack took a few gallons of gas. And it wasn't like Japan stopped selling gasoline in containers after this, the stuff is too important to modern society. Anyone can buy a firebomb on demand, and there are currently thousands and tens of thousands of these firebombs sitting in inappropriate containers in poorly ventilated garages all over America, all about to explode and take their attached houses with them.
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May 14, 2021 10:23
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Or make backups and run Windows Update from time to time, so your billing system doesn't get overtaken by some primitive ransomware; and when it does, you can restore it without paying any ransom.
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May 14, 2021 10:32
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Backups are for weenies, you gotta run your pipelines on Hardcore
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May 14, 2021 12:27
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Restore this you filthy casual
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May 14, 2021 12:34
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Fame Douglas posted:Or make backups and run Windows Update from time to time, so your billing system doesn't get overtaken by some primitive ransomware; and when it does, you can restore it without paying any ransom. Or, yeah, they could have gotten Malwarebytes. I hear that's really good. Maybe also shut their computers down at night when they leave for the day so the hackers can't get in.
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May 14, 2021 13:46
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Have they tried installing gentoo? Hahah jk their piece of poo poo servers are probably already running lunix
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May 14, 2021 14:04
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you cannot transport oil without bonzi buddy. everyone knows this.
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May 14, 2021 14:22
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Did radium code pipeline back-end
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May 14, 2021 14:24
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Milo and POTUS posted:Computers aren't going to suck your dick bro It's 2021 there is definitely a computer somewhere right now that can and possibly is sucking someone's dick as I type this
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May 14, 2021 14:43
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Ventral EggSac posted:It's 2021 there is definitely a computer somewhere right now that can and possibly is sucking someone's dick as I type this And then the computer gets hacked and the sucker gets stuck and they have to ransom their dick.
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May 14, 2021 15:01
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Wasn't there a internet-connected chastity cage that somebody hacked or put ransomware on it or something
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May 14, 2021 15:04
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Natty Ninefingers posted:And then the computer gets hacked and the sucker gets stuck and they have to ransom their dick. Don't give the computer teeth
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May 14, 2021 15:05
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Astoundingly Ugly Baby posted:Wasn't there a internet-connected chastity cage that somebody hacked or put ransomware on it or something That sounds familiar. I know there was also a vibrator connected through some app that tracked user data like when it was being used, intensity, location, etc.
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May 14, 2021 15:17
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Astoundingly Ugly Baby posted:Wasn't there a internet-connected chastity cage that somebody hacked or put ransomware on it or something Hell yes there was https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7apnn/your-cock-is-mine-now-hacker-locks-internet-connected-chastity-cage-demands-ransom
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May 14, 2021 16:38
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SMEGMA_MAIL posted:Hell yes there was Oh no please don't lock up my dick forever in this chastity cage I put on of my own free will, Mr hacker!
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May 14, 2021 16:52
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A Strange Aeon posted:That sounds familiar. I know there was also a vibrator connected through some app that tracked user data like when it was being used, intensity, location, etc. Location? As in which hole? I guess it would identify the colour of the hole walls?
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May 14, 2021 17:25
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AmbassadorofSodomy posted:Location? As in which hole? I think it was like your GPS location, though possibly it had advanced sensors to track orifice metrics as well!
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May 14, 2021 18:38
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