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Dignity Van Houten
Jul 28, 2006

abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P


Hope you didn't have anywhere you needed to be because every gas station in the population centers are bone dry. In northern VA there's helicopters circling Costco trying to document the chaos as tractor trailer drivers are being swarmed by Hummers and Range Rovers that are flirting with E.

News is reporting "do not go and panic buy gas, there's no shortage" but there's definitely no gas and I'm definitely stranded. My plan is to drive out to the boonies at 6am and pray I find a station that got replinished. I am NOT prepared for the Mad Max apocalypse.

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dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



sucks to be you. i got 3/4 tank in my car and i ain't goin nowhere for a couple days anyway

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002



Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970





terrifying in our stupidity as a species

RepeatingMeme
Dec 27, 2012

Have u seen thos pig balls tho







bet all those electric car owners are feeling pretty good right now

what happened to all the gas?

Grondoth
Feb 18, 2011


https://twitter.com/SecGranholm/status/1392588496880033792

It'll be fine. It's not that there isn't actually any gas, it's that a ransomware attack on a company's systems caused a shutdown of a pipe. The people who did it released a statement that was basically "holy poo poo we did not know it was that important, also we are not being paid by the Russian government so this is not an act of war," so they didn't even want to make this a big deal. There was no way the pipe would be shut down for very long.

Mnoba
Jun 24, 2010

no meds = alt f4

man this is just like the carter administration

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Lmao that owns. People who live in gas houses shouldn't throw lit matches

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




Dignity Van Houten posted:

Hope you didn't have anywhere you needed to be because every gas station in the population centers are bone dry. In northern VA there's helicopters circling Costco trying to document the chaos as tractor trailer drivers are being swarmed by Hummers and Range Rovers that are flirting with E.

News is reporting "do not go and panic buy gas, there's no shortage" but there's definitely no gas and I'm definitely stranded. My plan is to drive out to the boonies at 6am and pray I find a station that got replinished. I am NOT prepared for the Mad Max apocalypse.

Thanks for letting us know this breaking news

Hairy Right Hook
Sep 9, 2001

Hee to the ho


Look at those rear end in a top hat helicopters, so you have gas you don't have to flaunt it you pricks!!!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

They told me my bicycle powered zeppelin would never get off the ground, the fools! Now I can pedal over their dead cars and laugh

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



I was shocked that the Texaco here in SoCal was out of all gas this morning.
LOL and how easy it is to gently caress up the United States lol

Grondoth
Feb 18, 2011


Spinz posted:

I was shocked that the Texaco here in SoCal was out of all gas this morning.
LOL and how easy it is to gently caress up the United States lol

We're a profoundly stupid people. The gas pipeline that was shut down supplied the east coast, there is literally no reason to panic buy on the opposite side of the country.

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





My car is a plugin hybrid and due to the pandemic I haven't taken any long trips that exceed the battery range since about March of 2020 and still have about a quarter of a tank left from that fill-up. I actually need to buy some fuel stabilizer or something I think to prevent it from getting all sticky and bad.

If anyone needs to borrow a gallon or two of old sticky gas, come on by and bring a hose.

Bad Purchase fucked around with this message at 22:03 on May 12, 2021

Chumbawumba4ever97
Dec 31, 2000



https://i.imgur.com/XHObrsL.mp4

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Humanity is hosed because computers are at the point where a dork in his mother's basement can take down an entire nation with their homemade software.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Yeah blame a dork on his mom's computer and not the professionals who connected vital infrastructure to a clearly networked vulnerable computer.

Away all Goats
Jul 5, 2005

Goose's rebellion





How does the gas station attendant let this happen? Isn't it illegal to use anything other than an approved container?

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I wonder how long it would take to go thru a few plastic bags lol

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


I'm panick

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



Colonel Cancer posted:

I wonder how long it would take to go thru a few plastic bags lol

It's already leaking in the video I just can't believe it I expect she destroyed the back of her car

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002



Colonel Cancer posted:

I wonder how long it would take to go thru a few plastic bags lol

the first bag is already leaking from multiple holes before she even gets out the second one. a+

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Spinz posted:

It's already leaking in the video I just can't believe it I expect she destroyed the back of her car

Yeah but I figure that's more due to the weight than other properties. I was expecting the second bag to start leaking too lol


Seems like a bit of a hazard to have people just spray gasoline over the pavement too

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

Z is the new C

Away all Goats posted:



How does the gas station attendant let this happen? Isn't it illegal to use anything other than an approved container?

They get paid nothing and don't care.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



Please don't shame my road trip pee bags, all the fast food places are closed from COVID.

Grondoth
Feb 18, 2011


Yaldabaoth posted:

Humanity is hosed because computers are at the point where a dork in his mother's basement can take down an entire nation with their homemade software.

This wasn't dorks in their basements, it was professional criminals exploiting poor computer security. Due to crypto, it's a LOT easier to get paid by companies and it not be traced, so ransomware is a much more lucrative form of crime than it was previously. Companies are bad at security because why bother, what could happen, so teams of criminals can get bitcoins pretty easily by shutting down systems and making the companies pony up.

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is


Grimey Drawer

This randsomware attack was sponsored by the automobile industry to sell more cars after people burn down theirs with gasoline leaking from loving plastic bags.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon



Gas for my family

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Colonel Cancer posted:

Yeah but I figure that's more due to the weight than other properties. I was expecting the second bag to start leaking too lol


Seems like a bit of a hazard to have people just spray gasoline over the pavement too

Going to feel anticlimactic if this doesn't lead to at least one idiot accidentally burning down a gas station.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Yeah security has always been treated like a joke and it's leading to funnier results with each year.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Grondoth posted:

This wasn't dorks in their basements, it was professional criminals exploiting poor computer security. Due to crypto, it's a LOT easier to get paid by companies and it not be traced, so ransomware is a much more lucrative form of crime than it was previously. Companies are bad at security because why bother, what could happen, so teams of criminals can get bitcoins pretty easily by shutting down systems and making the companies pony up.

Reality is getting way too similar to cyberpunk.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007



Colonel Cancer posted:



Gas for my family

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Grondoth posted:

This wasn't dorks in their basements, it was professional criminals exploiting poor computer security. Due to crypto, it's a LOT easier to get paid by companies and it not be traced, so ransomware is a much more lucrative form of crime than it was previously. Companies are bad at security because why bother, what could happen, so teams of criminals can get bitcoins pretty easily by shutting down systems and making the companies pony up.

I still imagine that they were listening to Russian HARDBASS as they hacked the pipeline company

AmbassadorofSodomy
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!


HOMO ERECTUS posted:

bet all those electric car owners are feeling pretty good right now

what happened to all the gas?

Right now sure, but wait till we have another 2003 style blackout.

CHECKMATE ELECTRIC CAR JERKS!!

Away all Goats posted:



How does the gas station attendant let this happen? Isn't it illegal to use anything other than an approved container?

Gas station people get paid like 50 fuckin cents a day. They don't give a gently caress. The only thing they care about is not getting shot because someone wants to steal a pack of cigarettes or the 5 dollars in change from the register.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Yaldabaoth posted:

Humanity is hosed because computers are at the point where a dork in his mother's basement can take down an entire nation with their homemade software.

Humanity is hosed because of the way we are. Don't go blaming innocent computers for it.

bossy lady
Jul 5, 2006



I used to do network segmentation testing and penetration testing on SCADA systems. In 3 years of doing this I never failed to make it from the corporate network to SCADA and sometimes all the way down to process control networks themselves. They all suck poo poo and have no security.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Nothing innocent about computers. We made the abominable machines in a perverse image of our own mind and handed them the keys.

Jove Tone
Jan 12, 2006



It's like the toilet paper fiasco all over again but I can't solve this problem buying a machine that squirts water up my rear end

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Buy a bike

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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Colonel Cancer posted:

Nothing innocent about computers. We made the abominable machines in a perverse image of our own mind and handed them the keys.

If you put a gun in a baby's hand and then train it to kill the president and it successfully carries out that mission was the baby to blame or are you the best baby trainer in the world?

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