- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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I feel we need a wedding pete...
AITA for not showcasing my mother in my wedding?
quote:AITA? We recently finished our wedding invites and a chaotic drama has ensued since then. Including thoughts about eloping because this isn't the first issue..so let's go back 3 weeks.
I designed our wedding invites and we used a text template that looked simple and beautiful and it fit our theme. Before we ordered them to be printed we showed my mom, sisters and father. Everyone thought they were beautiful. Especially because I had made them(the bride).
However...when they arrived a week later a drama ensued. The invites say "Together with their families please join Yada Yada ". Where was my moms name? Where was my dads name? Why aren't their names on there?
Dad says "I'm not giving you away"
I reply " I am not something to be given away, I am walking down the aisle with my husband because it's about us".
Chaos ensued. I thought why should my father who abused me all through my childhood be the one to give me away? I was confused! They had seen the invites as well beforehand and they approved!
I ignored the situation. Fast forward a week later. We wrapped the invites and sealed them with wax. My mother happily helped tie the ribbons to them. Next day we did the same thing and she storms into her room. She is sobbing. Uncontrollably. I asked her what was wrong and she said it was about something not related to the wedding.
It's been 2 days and she's been talking crap behind my back to my 2 sisters. One of them offered to PAY TO HAVE EVERYTHING REDONE. Our wedding is in 3 months. We are on a tight timeline. But my mom in inconsolable that her name isn't on these invites. So they want us to change them. She hasn't spoken to me for 3 days.
This isn't even the only thing that they have given me issues about. They want to change everything from the centerpieces to the food menu to who comes and who can't come.
AITA for not wanting to change and remake all the invites for the sake of my mother and fathers name being on there?
Edit: THEY ARE NOT paying for the wedding. Just helping with setup since our venue is free and we are having to set it up ourselves. Mom is paying half the honeymoon as a gift.
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May 15, 2021 21:20
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 00:47
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- Orange DeviI
- Nov 9, 2011
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by Hand Knit
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Demonrats literaly vote for more murders then caterwauls about lives lost or whatever.
lol this is an actual post
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May 15, 2021 21:52
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- spouse
- Nov 10, 2008
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When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.
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I’m a Staunch Republican. My Boyfriend’s Friends Hate Me.
Good.
There's been a certain theme in r/relationships lately...
My partner used our mortgage savings to buy about 50 GameStop shares. I’m absolutely livid and don’t know what to do, please help.(22F/27M)
Based off what she said, BF's £8000 is now worth like £5500, so uh, act fast. The jig is up on that poo poo.
He's gonna leverage it and lose it all and then some, isn't he?
My (34/F) ex/roommate (27/M) seems hyper focused on one topic at a time and it's all they'll talk about.
The only good thing about cyberplomp was the story, so I can see why someone would want to discuss that, but hearing nothing but cryptotalk from someone who's got $1000 invested is incredibly exhausting.
Demonrats literaly vote for more murders then caterwauls about lives lost or whatever.
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May 15, 2021 22:25
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- Tetramin
- Apr 1, 2006
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I'ma buck you up.
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*swinging broom around wildly*
Get the gently caress back to CSPAM! All of you!
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May 15, 2021 22:43
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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Can't post for 21 hours!
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Ultra Carp
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it's a steaming hot take but it didn't come out of an oven
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May 15, 2021 22:43
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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*swinging broom around wildly*
Get the gently caress back to CSPAM! All of you!
Eh you shouldn’t get pissy just because someone said something you didn’t want to hear.
Even if I’m not even sure what that poster is saying
Though I guess this does show a point to turning politics into a sport
CharlestheHammer fucked around with this message at 22:52 on May 15, 2021
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May 15, 2021 22:47
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- Tomfoolery
- Oct 8, 2004
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*swinging broom around wildly*
Get the gently caress back to CSPAM! All of you!
Brooms kill more ants then sharks do so maybe you're the murderer?????
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May 15, 2021 23:13
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Your example is more going to a Hindu temple or altar (or seeing one depicted in a movie) and calling the worshippers there Nazis because there are swastikas present.
Edit: the shittiest page snipe. Content incoming
This one was posted to r/relationship_advice so it totally counts.
My cat takes up too much space
Click the links!
These are my cats and I'm getting real tired of their poo poo too. I can't even move them because I feel bad because they look so comfortable.
gently caress those assholes.
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May 15, 2021 23:30
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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Brooms kill more ants then sharks do so maybe you're the murderer?????
Who...who are the ants in this analogy
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May 15, 2021 23:32
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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AITA for not hiding spicy food from my Drink BF
quote:Disclaimer: this is more of a humorous fight between us nothing serious.
So, my BF can not handle spicy food, at all! If I So much as reach for pepper or God forbid Chili powder He breaks out in cold sweat.
A few nights ago he met a good buddy of his and they planned to get drunk and Play video games. The perfect opportunity for me to make really spicy Mac n cheese with lots of mustard and sriracha.
Since no human being can accurately measure pasta I had leftovers. Not thinking about it, I went to bed.
I wake up in the middle of the night hearing sobbing noises from the kitchen, finding my pretty wasted bf eating the Mac n cheese, tears and snot running down his face mumbling how it "Taste so good" and "hurts my mouth".
The rest of the night was... Picturesque. I rubbed his back whenever he had to throw up, eventual got him into bed and cleaned up.
We argued a bit about me "poisoning his favorite dish", I argued he got shitfaced AND ate my food (again).
Am I the rear end in a top hat for cooking spicy food and not properly hiding it from glutton of a bf?
Throwing up from eating mac n cheese with sriracha? Getting drunk and playing video games? Anyone else getting the feeling the BF is wearing a dirty wife beater two sizes too small and that sriracha is 'exotic' foods to him?
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May 15, 2021 23:37
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- rotinaj
- Sep 5, 2008
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Fun Shoe
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AITA for not hiding spicy food from my Drink BF
Throwing up from eating mac n cheese with sriracha? Getting drunk and playing video games? Anyone else getting the feeling the BF is wearing a dirty wife beater two sizes too small and that sriracha is 'exotic' foods to him?
I had a friend go with me to Buffalo Wild Wings once, and I bought a round of the hottest hot sauce wings, which is not all that crazy. My friend was in tears, saying that he felt faint and the room was spinning.
Some people are so weird about anything mildly spicy.
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May 15, 2021 23:46
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- Tomfoolery
- Oct 8, 2004
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Who...who are the ants in this analogy
The ants are Keanu Reeves. The broom is a bus. And the analogy is the plot to the hit 1994 movie, Speed
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May 16, 2021 00:26
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- Guildenstern Mother
- Mar 31, 2010
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Why walk when you can ride?
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I had a friend go with me to Buffalo Wild Wings once, and I bought a round of the hottest hot sauce wings, which is not all that crazy. My friend was in tears, saying that he felt faint and the room was spinning.
Some people are so weird about anything mildly spicy.
The vomit could have been alcohol related
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May 16, 2021 00:35
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- rotinaj
- Sep 5, 2008
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Fun Shoe
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The vomit could have been alcohol related
But being a baby about the spice was of the food while he was eating it is all because he’s a child
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May 16, 2021 00:50
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- Sodium Chloride
- Jan 1, 2008
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AITA for not hiding spicy food from my Drink BF
BF needs to try some Samyang x2 spicy noodles. He'll love them.
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May 16, 2021 00:58
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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People have different tolerances for spicy. I don’t get why people get so weird about that
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May 16, 2021 01:05
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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People have different tolerances for spicy. I don’t get why people get so weird about that
It's one thing to have a preference about really spice stuff. It's something else to think mayo is spicy.
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May 16, 2021 01:07
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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It's one thing to have a preference about really spice stuff. It's something else to think mayo is spicy.
Where exactly did that come up?
People love saying that.
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May 16, 2021 01:10
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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Where exactly did that come up?
People love saying that.
The midwest.
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May 16, 2021 01:19
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- Tarkus
- Aug 27, 2000
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People have different tolerances for spicy. I don’t get why people get so weird about that
Because it makes them feel superior and oddly enough, cultured.
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May 16, 2021 01:19
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- GlyphGryph
- Jun 23, 2013
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Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
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I can tolerate spice just fun but it 90% of it tastes like poo poo and I don't get why people like it. I'd accuse them of just being masochists, but I am a masochist and it still holds no appeal!
Anyway, I think I vaguely remember this one being posted here, or maybe I was just reading r/relationships and thought it was posted here, but either way it's got an update with things moving in a positive direction and the solution to saving the oceans from pollution.
quote:I (17m) cannot get my parents (45m, 44f) to listen to me regarding my sister's (6f) educational needs
Non-Romantic
OKay so I am currently in my second year of college (child genius, got fast tracked through grades) and I have two younger sisters 'Jess' (14f) and 'Ana'. Ana was born fully deaf and is starting elementary school this year.
I'm not trying to throw my parents into a negative light. They do love us, they've provided us with every opportunity possible and we have wanted for nothing growing up. Even though my parents were thrown when they found out Ana was deaf (they are musicians by trade and both me and Jess have been involved with music from a young age) they learned ASL along with me and my sister and tried their hardest to adapt.
That said, I have always been closest with Ana as she's grown up and she's like my best friend. She's always come to me if she's afraid or sick, she looks to me for interpretation or context when we're out and she's always been my little shadow. So, out of everyone in our family, I feel I know her the best.
My parents are sending Ana to a private special needs school in the coming year and I...personally disagree with their choice.
I looked into the place, took a virtual tour, and from everything I have seen and read it seems to be catered more to students with severe mental disabilities or mobility-impaired. In fact, I couldn't see a great deal of detail about the services provided for deaf students at all. I brought this up to my parents but they just brushed me off, saying it was what was best and they'd take care of her. I asked why she can't go to a mainstream school but they said there were no services for her.
Well, I did a bunch of research. I contacted district superintendents, local council, even schools directly themselves. I even found a deaf school only very slightly out of our boundary who said they were willing to be flexible. When I brought this to my parents they got annoyed, saying that they knew what was best for their daughter and I should stay out of it and that no school would be able to handle her hearing impairment AND behavioral problems.
I was stunned. Ana doesn't have behavioral problems. She's a bit willful, sure, she has a mind of her own and she's always had a mischievous streak but she's never acted out of control. She can read and write above average for her age (I know because I read with her) and while she's a little slow on the math front, I doubt it's any real cause for concern. I asked if she had been diagnosed and they cited the times she's wandered off during trips to the theatre or made noises during the performance. They haven't seen a doctor or any professional about this. They just saw a deaf child being forced to sit still for hours, not understanding everything that's going on around her and acting out of boredom and frustration and decided she's got behavioral issues.
Ana is a bright kid and while the school they've picked out looks amazing for kids with disabilities...I just don't think it would suit her specifically. But despite all my arguments and despite me spending more time with Ana than either of them combined, they still tell me to shut up and not get involved with their decisions because they're the adults, which really annoys me because I've been forced to act like an adult my whole life but as soon as I want a say on something actually important, they shut me down and potentially take away my sister's potential to thrive.
TL;DR: My parents seem to think that my deaf sister belongs in a school for severely disabled children because they're convinced no school can 'handle her' despite my arguments and evidence to the contrary.
EDIT: sort of an update but not really. I just wanted to clarify a few recurring points that have arisen throughout both comments and PMs.
1.) I mention the skipping grades thing because I thought it would explain why I was a 17-year-old sophomore in college and why I felt like I was qualified to intervene with the decision-making process. I've been involved in adult conversations, been surrounded by adults who regard and treat me as a peer most of my life. I apologize if I was unclear.
2.) Someone mentioned that my parents would recognize behavioral issues in Ana because they have raised two children before her. I would disagree with this as 1. Every child is different. Jess and I have very different temperaments and personalities, same as Ana. 2. My parents have raised two hearing children who are regarded as intelligent and mature for their age. Seeing a deaf 6-year-old acting like a 6-year-old, I would argue, is relatively new to them.
3.) I have actually gotten involved with a local Deaf Advocacy group for deaf/HOH adults and their friends/families, we're having a meeting via Zoom on Monday night and I'm looking forward to getting their insight!
4.) On a slightly more serious note, some of you have expressed concern about my mom and dad's parenting and that I am being parentified, that they are ableist, that I'm too young to have these concerns regardless of my intelligence or maturity. I have thought on this a lot and on some level I think you might be right. My parents don't like to be told they're wrong or made to feel like they don't know something and I don't think they have adapted to Ana's hearing impairment as well as they believe and on some level, think it reflects badly on them. Admittedly, I can see some of their flaws reflected in me and I am trying to work on that. I do wonder if one of the reasons Ana is so attached to me is because I do give her affection and attention where our parents aren't as forthcoming. Regardless of whether I am too young, there is a little girl that needs someone to rely on and if that is me, then I'll take up that mantle. I love my sister and I want to strive to make the world better for her.
5.) I'm going to try a more subtle approach to this, rather than treating it like a debate with my parents (working on those flaws!) If anything comes of it, I'll be sure to update you! Thank you for all your comments and advice, it's been great to hear from so many people!
quote:UPDATE: I (17m) cannot get my parents (45m, 44f) to listen to me regarding my sister's (6f) educational needs
Updates
Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/n5hlsh/i_17m_cannot_get_my_parents_45m_44f_to_listen_to/
Hi everyone! About 98% of you were super wonderful on my last post and seemed genuinely invested so I thought I'd give you all an update.
It's been just under a week now and after trying some of the different tactics and talking points you suggested, in addition to reaching out to the deaf/HOH community, my parents and I have come to a compromise, if only to shut me up. But I'm not the one that's important here, that would be Ana (6f).
So, come the new school year Ana will be going to the school my parents chose BUT we (including me!) will be keeping in close contact with her teachers, specialists, etc, her progress and talking to Ana herself about how she feels. If it seems like it isn't a great fit, we will be transferring her to the deaf school. It's a little out of the area, but I think we can make it work.
I did open up to my parents a bit - as much as they could handle - and told them that I feel like I've been, not robbed but had a stunted childhood and that my academic abilities forced me to grow up quickly. That, coupled with their emotional distance and lack of physical presence with Ana, made me angry and frustrated that my opinions on her future weren't being taken into account.
I wish I could say that was what did it, but honestly my points about the school not teaching Ana independence and other arguments brought up on the original post probably eased them over to my side a bit (I kept my temper even this time).
I mentioned in my edit on the last post that I'd gotten in contact with a Deaf Advocacy group and they've provided some wonderful resources so hopefully sometime soon Ana will FINALLY be able to meet kids and adults like her! (She's SUPER excited by this. She's the least reserved and most outgoing sibling out of us three so I've no doubt she'll make friends quickly.)
I've also made the decision to start seeing a therapist to maybe work on some of the issues that I've been reflecting on and to get some emotional support where my mom and dad drop the ball. I don't see them changing or even admitting they need to change anytime soon. But that doesn't mean I have to stay complacent.
That's...more or less the main chunk of what I wanted to say. I notice the rules say we aren't allowed to upload images so I'll just describe the drawing Ana just gave me to pin up on my office wall (she's a brilliant little artist, I'm not even biased).
An ocean surface. A large boat approaches from the left hand side, full of garbage. A great blue whale stands, mid-breech, opposing, brandishing a gun in one flipper. A speech bubble from the whale reads 'NO!' while the ambiguously-gendered humans on the Garbage Boat scream in terror, presumably ready to flee.
(Her kindergarten assignment was to come up with a way we can protect our oceans from pollution and personally, I think she's hit the nail on the head.)
Thank you so much to everyone for your thoughts and feedback!
TL;DR: my parents and I came to a compromise on my deaf sister's elementary school, I am working through my issues, Ana is getting to know her community and she drew an awesome picture today.
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May 16, 2021 01:21
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- Algol Star
- Sep 6, 2010
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Also up to a point your spice tolerance is based on what you've eaten in the past and finding mild spice completely intolerable is often a sign that you've been eating the blandest food for your entire life. You might never enjoy the burn of really hot stuff but it's easy to get accustomed to mild spice.
Because it makes them feel superior and oddly enough, cultured.
Enjoying things from other cultures does make you more cultured, yes.
Algol Star fucked around with this message at 01:27 on May 16, 2021
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May 16, 2021 01:21
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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Because it makes them feel superior and oddly enough, cultured.
I mean this is the basis for most food discussion on the internet
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May 16, 2021 01:23
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- Ches Neckbeard
- Dec 3, 2005
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You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
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tbh theres also different types of spice and while i have a medium spice tolerance i much prefer heat in asian/mexican dishes than fried wings with a bunch of high scoville sauces that taste like poo poo
If something advertises it's scoville units that's just to keep people distracted from it tasting like boiling trash.
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May 16, 2021 01:35
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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I know multiple people who think black pepper is too spicy. That mayo could also be too spicy is not at all unbelievable to me.
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May 16, 2021 01:37
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- Guildenstern Mother
- Mar 31, 2010
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Why walk when you can ride?
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Oh boy, the 'my feelings on spicy food' talk. Later let's all talk about how we did things when we got married and why that's the only sensible option.
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May 16, 2021 01:52
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- GlyphGryph
- Jun 23, 2013
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Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
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I was gonna say more about peppers, but you're right the marriage conversation is always way better.
I had a high ropes obstacle course in the trees for the guests to traverse, and a remote control flying shark and I agree that having both of those is the only sensible option and everyone should do it.
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May 16, 2021 01:54
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- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
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What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
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Grimey Drawer
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Party Sub Dude, I found someone for you!
AITA for snitching on my coworker who would take all of the snacks from our pantry at 8:00AM? She now feels ostracized from our team.
quote:Our office now has us coming back in 2 days a week. To encourage us to come they gave us a lot of perks, $50 Uber credit each day, doordash credit for dinner if we stay past 6, and breakfast is usually catered. The one thing too that’s been really nice is that they leveled up our pantry with super nice snacks like Whole Foods level, kamboucha, quest bars, Laura bars, Complete Cookie. My manager told us that the company is deciding they might keep all the perks (besides Uber credit) even after COVID.
Well we got a new team member, who joined in November last year so I recently met her in person for the first time. I have caught her on multiple occasions taking a lot of the food. She is on the bigger side so I guess she has a big appetite but I don’t even think she was eating it all then, and was taking it home. Like one time we got Chipotle catered and then she took another tray and just filled it up with Guac and put it in the refrigerator.
Recently I started noticing was though in the morning a lot of the snacks were gone. Like cleared.. I asked HR if they stopped with the snacks and they were like nope we are still providing them...
Then I saw Danielle (fake name) in the morning one day and she has 2 Target bags and is just loading all the snacks into the bags. I’m like looks like you are pretty hungry. She gives me a dirty look and proceeds to keep filling it up.
I later tell the admin on our floor about the situation, they said they would take care of it. A couple days later someone talks to Danielle and now there is a sign that says limit 3 items per person.
Was I wrong for this? If I didn’t do this, then they likely would have ended this perk. Danielle from my understanding just was talked to, nothing disciplinary, on our team it made her a bit ostracized since she was already a low performer. Also before people ask Danielle makes good money I don’t know her comp but at her level she is doing 110-140k so its not like she wouldn't have money otherwise.
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May 16, 2021 01:56
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- gloom
- Feb 1, 2003
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distracted from distraction by distraction
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The vomit could have been alcohol related
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May 16, 2021 01:56
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- GlyphGryph
- Jun 23, 2013
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Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
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I found that I had to start with only one obstacle for the guests to overcome and slowly add more obstacles before they could complete the course.
My guests were all squirrels, of course.
I bow to your superior wedding organizing abilities. I could never pull off wrangling squirrels.
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May 16, 2021 01:57
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- MarcusSA
- Sep 23, 2007
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Party Sub Dude, I found someone for you!
AITA for snitching on my coworker who would take all of the snacks from our pantry at 8:00AM? She now feels ostracized from our team.
God drat lol
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May 16, 2021 01:58
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 00:47
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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Enjoying things from other cultures does make you more cultured, yes.
Pretty much this.
tbh theres also different types of spice and while i have a medium spice tolerance i much prefer heat in asian/mexican dishes than fried wings with a bunch of high scoville sauces that taste like poo poo
High scoville/advertised scoville is garbage manchild one-upsmanship. I've gotten so many hot sauces that are just all heat and no taste. Especially the hottest of them. That's garbage food. But it's a thing because people without personalities feel the need to choose something to define themselves and one of those things is 'being able to eat really to food.'
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May 16, 2021 02:04
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May 15, 2021 21:20
