WalletBeef posted:

Here's my Agile Story:

I'm a software developer with about 18 years of professional experience. We recently transitioned to Agile, here is my story.

1. If you were a lovely employee before the transition, you are likely fired by now.

2. If you were a project manager before, you're a scrum master now.

3. If you were a manager before , you're probably a product owner now or (gasp) a people leader.

4. If you were a software developer before, you're on the development team now.

5. If you were literally ANYTHING else , congrats , you're on the development team now.


My development team consists of 6 people:

3 are castaways from previous roles , not surprisingly, none of them can write a for loop in JavaScript.

1 is an intern, very smart, got a comp sci degree, likely won't stay with the team after his rotation ends.

Myself and 1 other (both comp sci degrees, senior developers). We are tasked with teaching the skillset. We basically pair up with the other employees to teach them and help them out.

The whole thing is insane at times. We have a huge backlog of work and pressure to deliver , but we also have to pair up and ensure people learn.

Half of the team can't write a for loop in JavaScript, and as one of 2 the senior developers in the group, we're supposed to teach these people when they have no interest in learning it themselves.

So then we get into these situations where someone takes a Jira Card for a work item and has to be told EXACTLY how to do it by a senior developer, then they don't learn enough from it or don't struggle enough, so the next time something comes along, they haven't grown from It. Unless it's a very straightforward thing : it takes 10x as long as it should.

And if it's writing new software (rather than just maintaining old stuff) the new dev team members are helpless.

We keep getting castaways from other teams yet we never hire someone for the team that actually went to school for loving software development and management WONDERS why it takes new developers to come up to speed.

Software development is easy right? Why aren't they learning faster? Why aren't you producing more? You realize your review is based upon how you develop these employees , right?

WalletBeef posted:

Here's my Agile Story:

I'm a software developer with about 18 years of professional experience. We recently transitioned to Agile, here is my story.

1. If you were a lovely employee before the transition, you are likely fired by now.

2. If you were a project manager before, you're a scrum master now.

3. If you were a manager before , you're probably a product owner now or (gasp) a people leader.

4. If you were a software developer before, you're on the development team now.

5. If you were literally ANYTHING else , congrats , you're on the development team now.


My development team consists of 6 people:

3 are castaways from previous roles , not surprisingly, none of them can write a for loop in JavaScript.

1 is an intern, very smart, got a comp sci degree, likely won't stay with the team after his rotation ends.

Myself and 1 other (both comp sci degrees, senior developers). We are tasked with teaching the skillset. We basically pair up with the other employees to teach them and help them out.

The whole thing is insane at times. We have a huge backlog of work and pressure to deliver , but we also have to pair up and ensure people learn.

Half of the team can't write a for loop in JavaScript, and as one of 2 the senior developers in the group, we're supposed to teach these people when they have no interest in learning it themselves.

So then we get into these situations where someone takes a Jira Card for a work item and has to be told EXACTLY how to do it by a senior developer, then they don't learn enough from it or don't struggle enough, so the next time something comes along, they haven't grown from It. Unless it's a very straightforward thing : it takes 10x as long as it should.

And if it's writing new software (rather than just maintaining old stuff) the new dev team members are helpless.

We keep getting castaways from other teams yet we never hire someone for the team that actually went to school for loving software development and management WONDERS why it takes new developers to come up to speed.

Software development is easy right? Why aren't they learning faster? Why aren't you producing more? You realize your review is based upon how you develop these employees , right?

Slayerjerman posted:

WTF#5
Worked at a busy gas station in high-school in Oregon where you can't pump your own gas, I had to do it for you. Job wasn't hard or anything, but one super busy weekend I was the only attendant running the pumps, lots of customers paying cash.

I'd run each sale inside to the cashier, whom was the boss's bitch rear end daughter. This oval office was supposedly putting the cash in the til and closing out each sale. End of the day Manager confronts me about pocketing nearly 2 grand in cash from sales and that whore said I stole it.

I just stop and look at him in the eye, are you for real? I lost my poo poo jumped the counter and grabbed this bitch's purse from under the counter and we were shocked by how much cash she had stuffed in there from the entire day, it was exactly the amount missing from the til, go figure.

I handed him the purse, said gently caress you and rage quit. For 3 days following they kept calling asking when I'm coming back to work.



Turns out she was pocketing cash from other attendants.

Slayerjerman posted:

I have alot more gender specific words for anyone like her. Or would the PC police perfer I call these people by some cutsey codename like "Beckys" or "Karens" or some poo poo?

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

The hard C-word is now getting a week outside of the Australia and U.K. threads in GBS, second time a month, the third time, well good luck you may not be posting here ever again.

Slayerjerman posted:

I have alot more gender specific words for anyone like her. Or would the PC police perfer I call these people by some cutsey codename like "Beckys" or "Karens" or some poo poo?

Slayerjerman posted:

I have alot more gender specific words for anyone like her. Or would the PC police perfer I call these people by some cutsey codename like "Beckys" or "Karens" or some poo poo?

Slayerjerman posted:

WTF#5
Worked at a busy gas station in high-school in Oregon where you can't pump your own gas, I had to do it for you. Job wasn't hard or anything, but one super busy weekend I was the only attendant running the pumps, lots of customers paying cash.

I'd run each sale inside to the cashier, whom was the boss's bitch rear end daughter. This oval office was supposedly putting the cash in the til and closing out each sale. End of the day Manager confronts me about pocketing nearly 2 grand in cash from sales and that whore said I stole it.

I just stop and look at him in the eye, are you for real? I lost my poo poo jumped the counter and grabbed this bitch's purse from under the counter and we were shocked by how much cash she had stuffed in there from the entire day, it was exactly the amount missing from the til, go figure.

I handed him the purse, said gently caress you and rage quit. For 3 days following they kept calling asking when I'm coming back to work.



Turns out she was pocketing cash from other attendants.

goatsestretchgoals posted:

what part of "and everyone clapped" did you fail to understand?

Pekinduck posted:

Man and you know some innocent guy has caught a criminal charge from the same scenario.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Son of Rodney posted:

This is the same boss who already said homeoffice only will not happen after the pandemic because it's not 'our company culture'. Half of the company is in another city or travelling anyway, and we've been doing fine.

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Was remotely connected to someone's computer helping them set up a report. Watched them open their options to print a copy, well that's probably unnecessary but ok. Died a little as they unchecked grayscale and went with color. The report has a blue background...

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Was remotely connected to someone's computer helping them set up a report. Watched them open their options to print a copy, well that's probably unnecessary but ok. Died a little as they unchecked grayscale and went with color. The report has a blue background...

Imagined posted:

Because it costs my cheapskate employer more money and annoys a bean counter, so gently caress em. The real question is why aren't you printing in color? You buying the ink?

And I'm going to print all my RPG manuals in color on the office printer too. And my kid's homework.

mayday mayday posted:

My work has the option to print single-sided disabled on the printers themselves, so you can freely select single-sided and it appears to work, but when you go to pick up the 800 individually-addressed letters they’re all double-sided. We have high enough turnover that this happens to someone every few weeks, or more frequently, if someone forgets. Then you shred those 400 pages and send the print job to one specific printer in another building (three-years-plus old timers like me can tell you which one) that can print single sided. This is to save paper.

Volmarias posted:

Look at this guy, using a printer in some random distant building, and NOT adding a second, blank page to the template as the solution here.

Volmarias posted:

Look at this guy, using a printer in some random distant building, and NOT adding a second, blank page to the template as the solution here.

~Coxy posted:

The forced duplex thing doesn't even make much sense, because paper is less than a cent per page. (Versus the colour printing thing a few posts up.)
I can understand defaulting to duplex.

The first result when searching posted:

Despite the technology that exists today, file cabinets and document storage account for more than half of office space in the United States. An average employee uses approximately 10,000 pieces of paper every year, more than 1,400 of which aren’t even needed. For companies, this leads to an additional $80 in expenditures per individual, money that for both large and small companies could be better spent elsewhere.

Son of Rodney posted:

There's a two day online webinar offered by a industry organization that is interesting to me since it touches on some topics I have gaps in. Another new guy at the company also signed up. My boss who appears to go crazy not micro managing people and who reads every single e-mail he's cc in decided to randomly instruct our assistant to set this up in our biggest conference room, in person.

Why. We're 2 people. It's online. Parts of it is stuff I know already and I won't be able to work efficiently on other stuff on my notebook in this room. Why do I have to come to the office for this. why does he care.

This is the same boss who already said homeoffice only will not happen after the pandemic because it's not 'our company culture'. Half of the company is in another city or travelling anyway, and we've been doing fine.

mayday mayday posted:

My work has the option to print single-sided disabled on the printers themselves, so you can freely select single-sided and it appears to work, but when you go to pick up the 800 individually-addressed letters they’re all double-sided. We have high enough turnover that this happens to someone every few weeks, or more frequently, if someone forgets. Then you shred those 400 pages and send the print job to one specific printer in another building (three-years-plus old timers like me can tell you which one) that can print single sided. This is to save paper.

I work at a museum, so our dumb poo poo is sometimes fun dumb poo poo, like:

-Coworker didn’t want to wait for the freight elevator when transporting a mounted bear, so he wedged it into the passenger elevator. It tipped over and slightly mauled him (like four stitches)

-One of the curators realized that the weird sound he’d been hearing for a while was a historic geiger counter in the collections going off and we had to evacuate

-We don’t have nearly enough storage space so access corridors are frequently filled with taxidermy (and other large relatively low-value exhibits: player pianos, etc). Debate continues over whether the moose outside the first aid room constitutes a serious safety risk

-Last year one of the techs fell through the ceiling into a gallery during open hours, stood up, and walked out the main exit. Never came back as far as I know

Sometimes our dumb poo poo is just horrible c-suite people being sexist racist scumbags, terrible policies that make people less productive and managers abusing their employees like anywhere else though! Our ex-CEO once flipped out at my coworker (a fairly regular occurrence), shouted “I’ve taught on twelve continents” and then stormed out. Someone made up a little “Professor of Geography, University of Atlantis” sign but no one was brave enough to do anything with it

Dongsturm posted:

it sounds like a Neil Gaiman book

goatface posted:

So that you can't work/slack at the same time. Because you cannot be trusted to control your attention.

Spatule posted:

Try to get him to allow you to order food so you can 100% follow non-stop / make it a working lunch. Order indian or whatever you can find that smells the strongest. Hilarity ensues.

Son of Rodney posted:

Yup, pretty sure it's this. loving hell.
Unfortunately it's still just going to be me and my coworker in a 20 people conference room, but I should really try to get some free food put of it.