|
skooma512 posted:If anything the children are probably holding back when they recount these things. That moment when you first learn how hosed your childhood was by the increasingly horrified expressions of your suitemates as you tell what you thought were completely mundane stories about your family on the first day of college
|
#
?
May 27, 2021 22:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 12:13 |
|
|
shame on an IGA posted:That moment when you first learn how hosed your childhood was by the increasingly horrified expressions of your suitemates as you tell what you thought were completely mundane stories about your family on the first day of college hell, i still get disbelieving looks from my wife of 16 years when i remember some new horrible nugget of info
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2021 22:56
|
|
|
shame on an IGA posted:That moment when you first learn how hosed your childhood was by the increasingly horrified expressions of your suitemates as you tell what you thought were completely mundane stories about your family on the first day of college The good ole "Why aren't you laughing at my funny story!" and everyone is just shell shocked because your punchline is formed from years of abuse.
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2021 23:03
|
|
|
Poor rutibex.ben shapino posted:DON'T mess with Wheres the buy button shame on an IGA posted:That moment when you first learn how hosed your childhood was by the increasingly horrified expressions of your suitemates as you tell what you thought were completely mundane stories about your family on the first day of college just lol that anyone gets to college instead of getting sent to work because they couldn't get into college from all the years of deep depression and abuse Erulisse fucked around with this message at 23:12 on May 27, 2021 |
|
#
?
May 27, 2021 23:10
|
|
|
Oh I got in I just couldn't couldn't make it past the second semester
|
|
#
?
May 27, 2021 23:19
|
|
|
Sorry about ur trick rear end dummy mother, Rutibex. I've got a set of bad folks too. My estranged parent stalking story has been ongoing for several years. It really popped off when they called the cops on me for a wellness check, as I wasn't responding to their texts and calls for a couple days after having a bad interaction with them. I have never mentioned or committed self-harm in my life. Good thing it wasn't a SWATting I guess. From that point on, I refused to tell them my address. I would speak with them on and off over the next year or so. The last few times I spoke with them, I gave them the run down. it's not JUST about the physical assaults that occurred until my 20s when I finally stopped being around you both in private places. It's not just the verbal abuse that you heap on anyone and everyone who disagrees with you. It's not just that you failed to get my younger brother the proper mental health support he needed until it was too late. it's not just that you constantly pit your children against each other, trash talk us to our siblings and trash talk our siblings to us. it's not about cheating both of my older brothers who got suckered into doing business with you by writing in addendums to contracts after they'd been signed. it's not just the lies, the manipulation, the racism, the homophobia, the misogyny, the foxbrain, the narcissism, etc. I've processed all that in therapy, and continue to work on being a better person to others while keeping myself on the beam, mentally/physically/spiritually (more or less). I've forgiven you a thousands times, and have to keep forgiving you on a near daily basis, so that I can keep moving forward with my life. It's that you're still doing all of these things you think you can get away with, and you're not sorry about them. You can apologize all you want for the past, but it's still going on IN the present, it's everyfuckingtime we talk, it's in the way you talk to and deal w/ your other children that I hear about. It's about the way your grand-child's funeral was not enough to get you to stop acting like your daughter-in-law (the lost child's mother) is always out to spite you, even with THE PLANNING OF A CHILD'S FUNERAL. YOU loving INHUMAN MONSTERS. It's precisely because they've shown categorically that they don't/can't/won't care about anyone but themselves. Which is why no amount of explanation or reasoning will ever be enough for them, they are incapable of even imagining that other people have valid feelings, agency, etc. This means they can be forgiven, but never engaged with safely. So I've made my position clear: Don't contact me, i'll contact you. Blocked everywhere. Get calls from cousins, aunts and uncles, asking for life updates. After a few hard lessons, had to cut that poo poo out too. I bought a house several states away from where they live earlier this year. Within 3 months, my father (who conceal carries everywhere and is a general gun nut) shows up on my doorstep, unannounced, uninvited, penitent w/ a letter asking me to forgive him, he's sober now and doing his amends, yadda yadda. Which is all kinds of screwed up, it's clear I've said I never want to see you again, showing up out of the blue is clearly likely that it "would injure them or others". Step 9 isn't about getting someone to say I forgive you. He should've written that letter and burned it. Or, since he knew my address, simply mail it to me. He also has coincidentally yet to make amends to any of my other siblings who, all things being equal, got it WORSE than I did, but still take their phonecalls. But it wasn't about the letter, or the apology, or the forgiveness, it was a bid for narcissistic supply, and the only way to deal with that is to tell the motherfucker to get off your property or you'll call the cops. This is the problem w/ NPD parents: they'll take and twist everything around so that they can perceive themselves as the victim (DARVO), even when disregarding everyone's feelings but their own, it's not enough! They need the world to match their self-opinion or they just CAN. NOT. FUNCTION.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 00:01
|
|
|
shame on an IGA posted:That moment when you first learn how hosed your childhood was by the increasingly horrified expressions of your suitemates as you tell what you thought were completely mundane stories about your family on the first day of college Like when I used to laugh about how I kept a knife under my pillow when I went to sleep, I got a lot of deeply concerned looks 
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 00:40
|
|
|
Late to this, so sorry. How intrusive, creepy, out of line, and just plain WRONG it is for an estranged parent to snoop on their child's posting online and then confront them about it has already been established. But what hasn't been discussed is how petty it is. "You said mean things about me to strangers on the internet. In a forum where nobody knows your, or my real name. This offends me so much that I must send you an email(?) full of personal abuse, which outs me as having been snooping/spying on my adult child's private online activity." Jesus Christ woman. How thin skinned are you that some mean words on the internet, (not even directed at you, but instead are merely venting by your child), can cause you such personal affront that you feel the need to further abuse your child? Please Rubitex's mum. Calm down, apologize to your kid for what you need to apologize for, (including snooping on their internet presence), and hopefully you can heal the relationship and stop being such an arsehole.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 01:09
|
|
|
I'm so sorry, Rutibex. gently caress. Rutibex's mom: do you not see how this is harmful? Basic human decency dictates that if someone is avoiding you, leave them alone. It follows that if someone has entirely cut you off of communication, you should continue to leave them alone. I know that will never get through to anyone, but, it needs to be said. Don't stalk people. Don't contact people who have made it clear they do not want to be contacted by you.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 01:30
|
|
|
Harvey Mantaco posted:Lol my dad is illiterate I'm fuckin invincible I read this like a haiku and it makes me laugh.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 02:06
|
|
|
Just learned about billyvisco today. He’s a little corny but he has some good tips for potential toxic parents: https://www.tiktok.com/@billyvsco?lang=en
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 07:38
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:Please Rubitex's mum. Calm down, apologize to your kid for what you need to apologize for, (including snooping on their internet presence), and hopefully you can heal the relationship and stop being such an arsehole. This sets me off, although I appreciate you think you are somehow helping. You're not, you are part of the complicit society that covers up child abuse by making excuses for them. No matter what deranged abuse these people display, there's always someone like you who sprints in uninvited to cover it up with bullshit like "Mommy is just having a bad day, you should be thankful you have a mother" It's not my place to tell you to GTFO but you definitely should GTF back 100 pages and read some of the nightmare stories about people escaping living hell and see if you still think "healing the relationship" is amazing genius advice. It's people with your attitude who kept giving my new address to my parents after I thought I had escaped. So join in making fun of the psychos or don't, but either way shut up with the relationship advice.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 08:25
|
|
|
Yes unfortunately I've recently been through this realisation with some in-laws. On finding out about the behaviour my first response was shock and horror - then I assumed saying something about it would prompt an apology and some route to change and encouraged my partner in that direction. There was an "apology" but that in itself was manipulative, made out the abuser to be the victim and set the stage for their total failure to accept responsibility and switch to gaslighting and blaming anyone who brought it up. All the 'classics" in terms of abusive behaviour came out and having read up now I realise I was very naïve at the start and wish I'd told my partner to focus on the main victim rather than confront the abuser assuming they could change. Having been through that relatively recently though I also understand the naïvety - but yea mosdef don't offer advice without having experienced or learnt alot about these social parasites - they're way more hosed than you'd think if you had normal family. Ps this thread is very helpful - I had no idea about domestic abuse until a few months ago and reading other stories online makes up for the silence about it elsewhere.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 08:44
|
|
|
yeah rutibex's mum should not reach out to apologise because that's just gonna be another manipulation move rutibex's mum should gently caress off into the ocean to start her new life among the bottom dwellers
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 08:47
|
|
|
Just delurking to say hey, rutibex's mum, you suck, piss off. And if you paid $10 to read this then ha ha on you.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 12:20
|
|
|
Hey, Rutibex's Mum, I have had some uncomfortable moments reflecting on how I was raised, and gotten an understanding on how my own parents raised me in such a way which enforced neuroses and rendered me very unhappy for a lot of my life, making me very angry with them. But even then, I wouldn't cut myself off from them, so boy oh boy did you gently caress up at being a good parent, pal.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 12:35
|
|
|
Imagine being so terrible a parent that your own child doesn’t want any part of you, to the point they post venting about it on an Internet Forum that costs $10, and you stalk them all over it just to see a bunch of Internet Strangers wishing you a painful death because you hurt someone they likely have never met in real life, that badly. Beyond that, you abused them and won’t let them go. gently caress your apologies, get the gently caress out of rutibex’s life. Your abuse makes strangers legit hate you. Stew in that.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 14:02
|
|
|
Hey Rutibex. My fiancé, who is a trucker (with accompanying hellacious greasy trucker shits) has just offered to upper-decker every toilet in your mom’s house. If I make him our favorite very garlicky stir fry beforehand and really load him up, we might be able to upgrade his dumps to war crime status. Furthermore, he’s extended that offer to any of the rest of you goons struggling with lovely parents— he was blessed with an awesome family who loves him very much, and is continually horrified by what I and everyone else here have had to go through. (What I’m saying is he’s offering his love and support too in his own very goony way)
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 17:09
|
|
|
Axqu posted:Hey Rutibex. My fiancé, who is a trucker (with accompanying hellacious greasy trucker shits) has just offered to upper-decker every toilet in your mom’s house. If I make him our favorite very garlicky stir fry beforehand and really load him up, we might be able to upgrade his dumps to war crime status. Furthermore, he’s extended that offer to any of the rest of you goons struggling with lovely parents— he was blessed with an awesome family who loves him very much, and is continually horrified by what I and everyone else here have had to go through. It is a pretty good deal.....
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 17:11
|
|
|
Axqu posted:Hey Rutibex. My fiancé, who is a trucker (with accompanying hellacious greasy trucker shits) has just offered to upper-decker every toilet in your mom’s house. If I make him our favorite very garlicky stir fry beforehand and really load him up, we might be able to upgrade his dumps to war crime status. Furthermore, he’s extended that offer to any of the rest of you goons struggling with lovely parents— he was blessed with an awesome family who loves him very much, and is continually horrified by what I and everyone else here have had to go through.  lol thanks everyone SA really is the best community
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 17:32
|
|
|
I believe it was the great thinker Immanuel Kant who once said "Rot in hell and suck a dick Rutibex's mom"Axqu posted:Hey Rutibex. My fiancé, who is a trucker (with accompanying hellacious greasy trucker shits) has just offered to upper-decker every toilet in your mom’s house. If I make him our favorite very garlicky stir fry beforehand and really load him up, we might be able to upgrade his dumps to war crime status. Furthermore, he’s extended that offer to any of the rest of you goons struggling with lovely parents— he was blessed with an awesome family who loves him very much, and is continually horrified by what I and everyone else here have had to go through. lmao
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 17:53
|
|
|
BrigadierSensible posted:Late to this, so sorry. BrigadierSensible doesn't have DMs so I'll put this in the thread instead. Sorry dude, my reply was too much and you didn't deserve that level of hostility for your post when you were just trying to help.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 18:02
|
|
|
Welp, time to be upset with my dad now. I don't want to laboriously try to explain everything, but to make it short I've long since reclaimed a bunch of unimportant space on the stairs leading up to my computer room because proper storage and organization is at a premium in this house. One of the things I kept there for convenience was my medications. 99% of everything on those stairs is mine, full stop. Well, tomorrow work is being done to replace my current lovely, just-barely-adequate floor AC unit with a new top of the line window one which means the stairs need to be cleared off so nobody steps on anything or trips and kills themselves in the process of moving heavy poo poo around. My assumption was that my dad would approach me at some point today (or hell I'd approach him) and he'd help me move everything and it'd all be good. Nope, gently caress that. He decided to do it all himself while I was asleep, so I got to wake up to find all my poo poo missing. (It's safely tucked away in the living room, though that's beside the point.) And no, even as I tried to explain to him why it was a hosed up and stupid thing to do and there was no need to rush things, or that he could've at least moved all the unimportant bric-a-brac himself and then not loving touched my meds without my express permission, he did not apologize.
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2021 20:32
|
|
|
Interesting, looks like some lovely parents are up to the same thing over on Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/nmmut8/found_out_today_one_or_both_of_my_nparents_have/
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 00:36
|
|
|
Double post because I’m reading on the train home - AITA for keeping my teenage daughter’s cat after I found out she’s moving out behind my back? My 18 year old daughter is about to graduate high school in 13 days. She works outside of school, she’s been taking up a lot of shifts lately. She’s very good with her money and doesn’t spend it on unnecessary things, she’s responsible. I think she can make irrational decisions; she’s not going to college, she’s hung up on the idea of becoming a tattoo apprentice while she works at the fast food place she works at now. I’ve noticed little things disappearing from her room, her books are gone, a small salt lamp in her room is gone from her desk, and she took off anything that was on her walls. When she came home from work, I casually asked if she took her stuff down or if she’s rearranging her room, and she said yes. Then later in the week I noticed more things missing, and the most obvious was half of her closet gone, she took nearly all her clothes out. Right then I knew something wasn’t right, so I confronted her about it. I told her I wanted the truth as to why her things were gone. She admitted that she got an apartment. When I asked why, she said that it was inevitable and that she needs to have her own space. I think what could be part of the reason she is leaving is because I smoke marijuana in our current apartment, which is illegal and could get us evicted since the property owner inspects the place as it’s an apartment complex. She expressed this concern to me before since she’s on the lease and pays the rent. I’m still the adult and she doesn’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do. I’m a 57 year old woman, she’s an 18 year old girl. I couldn’t believe she got an apartment at her age, no roommates, all on her own. I told her she’s not going anywhere, she’s still the child, she’s in school, I have responsibility over her. She said that she will be moving out and that she doesn’t need my approval and that this was why she didn’t tell me in the first place. I said to her that she’s not bringing her car if she were to move out at this age, and she was furious and said that I have two others, one of which I’m putting down “for no reason” and that I’m not equipped to take care of animals. She’s a child who thinks she can handle things, I told her she doesn’t even know how good she has it. She ended off and said “You know what, I don’t even care. Enjoy living off my dad’s child support and having all the work around the house now that you don’t have me to do all the work for you”. I know she will come back to me and she won’t have my phone blocked forever but I feel like it’s hard to understand young girls her age, or any kid.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 00:49
|
|
|
Dongsturm posted:BrigadierSensible doesn't have DMs so I'll put this in the thread instead. It's all good. That last bit was badly phrased. And don't apologize, you made a valid point about abusive parents/people manipulating well meaning third parties into allowing them to continue their abuse. Which I am terribly sorry that it has happened to you.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 00:53
|
|
|
MAKE NO BABBYS posted:
Yes. That entire post is just  but that. Yes. What the gently caress.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 01:08
|
|
|
MAKE NO BABBYS posted:Double post because I’m reading on the train home - This is so oblivious it has to be fake/trolling What person doesn’t understand 18 years old is a legal adult, while also admitting the daughter is very responsible and on the lease and pays the rent? But so oblivious as to then say she’s not responsible enough to move out after making all those admissions?
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 01:12
|
|
|
Watchin a movie and a grandma is dying and her last words were calling her daughter in law a bitch, made me think of this thread, lol.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 02:49
|
|
|
Light Gun Man posted:Watchin a movie and a grandma is dying and her last words were calling her daughter in law a bitch, made me think of this thread, lol. I don't often get a hearty lol from this thread but this got me.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 02:52
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:This is so oblivious it has to be fake/trolling She's losing her meal ticket and is trying to stick her back in kid mode.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 03:18
|
|
|
Light Gun Man posted:Watchin a movie and a grandma is dying and her last words were calling her daughter in law a bitch, made me think of this thread, lol. big DISCARDED GRANDMA vibes
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 03:31
|
|
|
Girl needs to grab her cat and run right now. The stoner moocher mother will never treat her like an independent adult, and will probably give the cat away to really make sure the kid always lives with regret for daring to be her own person. Or go for the gusto and lawyer up and have the mom removed from the lease and kick her out lol I doubt that could ever happen, but it's a nice thought.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 03:42
|
|
|
life is killing me posted:This is so oblivious it has to be fake/trolling I don't know, I was in the Navy 4 years and I was 26 when my dad said I needed to reenlist because I needed someone to take care of me and I couldn't handle the real world. It's like these people are missing part of their brains responsible for really seeing other people. Also big schad imagining this woman having to pay her own rent now.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 03:47
|
|
|
The law might work differently in whatever state she's in but in my state, if the 18 year is on the lease and the one paying the rent, she'd have every right to have her mom evicted. That's probably not worth the hassle compared to just abandoning mom with her problems and moving out (to a location mom hopefully doesn't know) but she'd still be able to do it. I hope she's able to get her cat back. Also if the kid is 18, mom ain't getting child support payments anymore.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 03:49
|
|
|
Lieutenant Dan posted:big DISCARDED GRANDMA vibes yeah she's mad cuz the grand daughter likes the mom lmao
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 04:08
|
|
|
CuwiKhons posted:The law might work differently in whatever state she's in but in my state, if the 18 year is on the lease and the one paying the rent, she'd have every right to have her mom evicted. That's probably not worth the hassle compared to just abandoning mom with her problems and moving out (to a location mom hopefully doesn't know) but she'd still be able to do it. I hope she's able to get her cat back. Also if the kid is 18, mom ain't getting child support payments anymore. If shes on the lease doesn't that mean she can't just skip out? She can't just leave and stop paying rent if there is time left on the lease
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 04:19
|
|
|
Picnic Princess posted:Girl needs to grab her cat and run right now. The stoner moocher mother will never treat her like an independent adult, and will probably give the cat away to really make sure the kid always lives with regret for daring to be her own person. I had a lovely roommate who ended up with her sister's cats, and then treated them like poo poo because they weren't her cats. She also let her own cat die because, quote, "Taking cats to the vet is a waste of time and money." When I took Xander with me when I moved out, because he'd been sleeping in my room, eating in my room, and followed me around the apartment because I was the only person who didn't throw him off the furniture onto the floor or otherwise treat him like an imposition...she texted me a week later telling me she missed him terribly and wanted him back. He's been living with me ever since, and the other cat still lives with the other roommate, who moved out a couple weeks later.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 04:34
|
|
|
Rutibex posted:If shes on the lease doesn't that mean she can't just skip out? She can't just leave and stop paying rent if there is time left on the lease If the lease is coming up for renewal, she can just decline to be on it again. Alternatively, she can pay the fee to break the lease, which I assume she's already considered.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 05:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 12:13 |
|
|
ElHuevoGrande posted:I don't know, I was in the Navy 4 years and I was 26 when my dad said I needed to reenlist because I needed someone to take care of me and I couldn't handle the real world. It's like these people are missing part of their brains responsible for really seeing other people. Also big schad imagining this woman having to pay her own rent now. True, the schadenfreude is strong with that one, I got lots of Nelson from The Simpsons vibes just thinking about that. There is (from experience) a real tough transition back to civilian life—but not totally because we as vets can’t hack it in the real world. You give some years of your life to the military and you have to be in that mindset. Being in a civilian mindset isn’t helpful in those times. But gently caress your dad for saying that, many people who would say that are people who drat well know they wouldn’t hack it in the military.
|
|
#
?
May 29, 2021 06:20
|
|