communal open letter to the folks who make 'Postman Pat'

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Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Post Man Pat, has committed the sin of being unstimulating to both mind and loin. Post Man Pat never grows as a character. He doesn't experience true loss, he has never found love. He has never sired children.

Also, if I had an erection prior to flicking the channel, Post Man Pat and his mundane fumblings made drat sure it stopped. Don't you think that's quite the feat considering Post Man Pat's head is shaped like a penis with another penis jutting out perpendickularly?

Something has to be done. I need my television to ponder life's blessings and pains. I need my television to arouse the passions and cause a stir in the breast.

Sincerely,

everybody

# ? Jul 24, 2021 01:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 21:24

Heather Papps: hello friend

post man pat is a hero to his community, a pillar of service to society AND has a black and white cat

sounds like a hero to me

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 24, 2021 01:13

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

hp, you should try "getting it out" next time he's on and see how far you get.

Report back to me then.

# ? Jul 24, 2021 01:21

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I'm waaaaaAAAaaaiiiitiiiing.

said as sonic by urkel

# ? Jul 24, 2021 01:26

Heather Papps: hello friend

Plant MONSTER. posted:

hp, you should try "getting it out" next time he's on and see how far you get.

Report back to me then.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 24, 2021 01:27

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

*sweating*

# ? Jul 24, 2021 03:12

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

maybe in solidarity with the women's volleyball teams not wanting to be sexualized and forced to wear skimpy bikini bottoms in the 2020 summer olympics by the ioc postman pat can wear the traditional womens vollleyball skimpy tiny top and bikini bottoms for a few episodes

# ? Jul 24, 2021 03:58

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

That'd be nice. I believe the world should follow a "push-pull" model. When some aspects of the world tone down their sexiness, other parts of the world have to make up for it with an increase in sexiness so that net sexiness stays stable

# ? Jul 24, 2021 14:20

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I think women have long had to put up with way too much sexual harassment and discrimination, especially in areas that are typically male owned (sports teams, lingerie companies, beauty pageants [gross at all ages], film and television).

For this reason I think the clay/wood/whatever puppets that make up the citizenship of Greendale are perfect vessels for this newly freed up sexual energy

# ? Jul 24, 2021 14:34

Uria aalge: Chi-la-la-la-lax

Actually, the village in Postman Pat might be an apt setting for a sort of �Carry On� farce, with plenty of double entendres, lovers climbing in and out of windows, falling into the rose bushes and other such buffoonery.

Thank you for the winter sig, Heather Papps!

Thanks for the summer sig, ChubbyChecker!

"Nobody owns life, but everyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death" - Kurt Cobain

# ? Jul 24, 2021 14:48

snergle: A kind little mouse!

Uria aalge posted:

Actually, the village in Postman Pat might be an apt setting for a sort of �Carry On� farce, with plenty of double entendres, lovers climbing in and out of windows, falling into the rose bushes and other such buffoonery.

coming this fall to adult swim Dino Stamatopoulos's postman pat. it will get 2 seasons then be canceled

# ? Jul 24, 2021 15:38

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Pat is post-man and is now a powerful orb of potent genderless sexual energy

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 24, 2021 17:52

Khanstant

there's a reason he;s the post-man.... every1 is past him, we exist in a world after him and r better 4 it

# ? Jul 24, 2021 20:44

Khanstant

# ? Jul 24, 2021 21:22

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Khanstant posted:

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jul 24, 2021 21:24

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Khanstant posted:

# ? Jul 24, 2021 21:46

Heather Papps: hello friend

Khanstant posted:

Plant MONSTER. posted:

*sweating*

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jul 24, 2021 21:49

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Khanstant posted:

lol khan

# ? Jul 24, 2021 22:35

Manifisto

the post community has exactly the opposite criticisms of post man pat. posts are supposed to be stationary, solid, made of a strong substance like wood iron or stone. they are not supposed to have any sort of personality let alone sexuality. this putative hybrid of man and post is entirely too interesting, too dynamic, too floppy, and above all too drat sexy for post-identifying viewers to see a valid representation of their identity. need more shots of pat standing still, doing nothing but perhaps holding up a wire or bit of architecture.

# ? Jul 25, 2021 15:11

super sweet best pal

man pat

# ? Jul 25, 2021 16:44

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Manifisto posted:

the post community has exactly the opposite criticisms of post man pat. posts are supposed to be stationary, solid, made of a strong substance like wood iron or stone. they are not supposed to have any sort of personality let alone sexuality. this putative hybrid of man and post is entirely too interesting, too dynamic, too floppy, and above all too drat sexy for post-identifying viewers to see a valid representation of their identity. need more shots of pat standing still, doing nothing but perhaps holding up a wire or bit of architecture.

# ? Jul 25, 2021 16:45

biosterous

the cowards refuse to the script i sent them for a mature reboot crossover with fireman sam

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jul 26, 2021 13:46

Jaguars!

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Post Man Pat, has committed the sin of being unstimulating to both mind and loin. Post Man Pat never grows as a character. He doesn't experience true loss, he has never found love. He has never sired children.

Also, if I had an erection prior to flicking the channel, Post Man Pat and his mundane fumblings made drat sure it stopped. Don't you think that's quite the feat considering Post Man Pat's head is shaped like a penis with another penis jutting out perpendickularly?

Something has to be done. I need my television to ponder life's blessings and pains. I need my television to arouse the passions and cause a stir in the breast.

Sincerely,

everybody

Signing this one because it sounds good in terms of, like, the tone when read aloud

Manifisto posted:

the post community has exactly the opposite criticisms of post man pat. posts are supposed to be stationary, solid, made of a strong substance like wood iron or stone. they are not supposed to have any sort of personality let alone sexuality. this putative hybrid of man and post is entirely too interesting, too dynamic, too floppy, and above all too drat sexy for post-identifying viewers to see a valid representation of their identity. need more shots of pat standing still, doing nothing but perhaps holding up a wire or bit of architecture.

Signing this one because it sounded intelligent and I don't want to show that I've entered the Postman Pat Debate and found that I'm intellectually out of my depth

# ? Jul 27, 2021 02:06

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

# ? Jul 27, 2021 03:29

Weka: That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Plant MONSTER. posted:

I think women have long had to put up with way too much sexual harassment and discrimination, especially in areas that are typically male owned (sports teams, lingerie companies, beauty pageants [gross at all ages], film and television).

For this reason I think the clay/wood/whatever puppets that make up the citizenship of Greendale are perfect vessels for this newly freed up sexual energy

Nonsense.

# ? Jul 31, 2021 13:40

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop