buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

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Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

it is absolutely currently illegal for me to lend financial assistance to sanctioned entities, this is not different.

We�re not even talking about innocent populations like the civilian residents of sanctioned states like Iran, who have done basically nothing wrong and don�t deserve the poo poo that they�re getting.

The context here is professional ransomware crews, grow up.

Potato Salad fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jul 29, 2021

# ? Jul 29, 2021 15:40

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:55

LanceHunter: Nov 12, 2016; Beautiful People Club

Potato Salad posted:

�Don�t pay� is not a regressive policy.

Even better, prevent the exchanges from processing those payments. So there is no way possible to pay.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 15:41

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Potato Salad posted:

Implementing the following will steeply curtail commercial ransomware activity in a country:
1- Require KYC for domestic exchanges, something we already require for basically every financial transaction already.
2- Ban extortion payment. Better, codify it as a criminal act.
3- Require reporting of extortion requests, probably to US CISA (this is likely already going to be happening)

A few crypto extortion teams may pull poo poo to protest this for a few months, but ultimately the drive to eat will force them to look elsewhere or close up shop.

Crime requires money to commit. Take away the ability to pay ransoms and you�ve steeply cut into the motives actors have to cryptolocker businesses. We�d be left with state sponsored actors doing things for natsec reasons, and we might see crypto extortion here and there from hactivists and enthusiasts.

Banning ransom payment runs the risk of driving it underground. It would likely be better to require disclosure to the government (though probs fbi not CISA) and disclosure on SEC filings. There was a good overview of many of the legal options here: https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2021/07/disrupting-ransomware-by-disrupting-bitcoin.html

# ? Jul 29, 2021 15:42

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

Soylent Pudding posted:

Banning ransom payment runs the risk of driving it underground. It would likely be better to require disclosure to the government (though probs fbi not CISA) and disclosure on SEC filings. There was a good overview of many of the legal options here: https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2021/07/disrupting-ransomware-by-disrupting-bitcoin.html

Implemenying KYC is a very, very strong preventative against the grand majority of payments going underground. Remember also that block chains are publicly traceable; much has already been done without the sledgehammer of KYC.

There is a reason that financial payments crime is extremely challenging to get away with (standing policy of not caring about white collar crime aside, that�s an issue with AG incentives). You need a large financial institution like Wells Fargo or Deutsche bank as a willing insider blowing smoke for you, and even then getting caught anyway. KYC for domestic exchange is a really well oiled tool.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 15:46

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

If we start banning bitcoins with tanks, then they will simply evolve to become faster, stronger, and equipped with anti-tank rifles. It is a ransomeware arms race we cannot possibly hope to win

# ? Jul 29, 2021 15:54

cool av: Mar 2, 2013

Soylent Pudding posted:

Banning ransom payment runs the risk of driving it underground. It would likely be better to require disclosure to the government (though probs fbi not CISA) and disclosure on SEC filings. There was a good overview of many of the legal options here: https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2021/07/disrupting-ransomware-by-disrupting-bitcoin.html

this is interesting

quote:

Criminals and their victims act differently. Victims are net buyers, turning millions of dollars into bitcoin and never going the other way. Criminals are net sellers, only turning bitcoin into currency. The only other net sellers are the cryptocurrency miners, and they are easy to identify.

Any banked exchange that cares about enforcing money laundering laws must consider all significant net sellers of cryptocurrencies as potential criminals and report them to both in-country and US financial authorities. Any exchange that doesn�t should have its banking forcefully cut.

since BTC isn't usable as a currency, if you're getting bitcoin from anywhere other than buying it you're likely a criminal.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 16:33

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

cool av posted:

this is interesting

since BTC isn't usable as a currency, if you're getting bitcoin from anywhere other than buying it you're likely a criminal.

Maybe we should give the diamond hand hodlers what they want and make selling a cryptocurrency a capital offence.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 17:40

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

Soylent Pudding posted:

Maybe we should give the diamond hand hodlers what they want and make selling a cryptocurrency a capital offence.

but if the state forces everyone to be a diamond hand, what will they lord over the inferior investors? who will they buy from? how will they live with the shame of the government telling them not to do something they already weren't planning on doing?

# ? Jul 29, 2021 17:51

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

cool av posted:

this is interesting

since BTC isn't usable as a currency, if you're getting bitcoin from anywhere other than buying it you're likely a criminal.

The FBI uses this to identify criminal wallets, and it�s why the big three crypto laundering services are so shockingly huge.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 18:49

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Potato Salad posted:

The FBI uses this to identify criminal wallets, and it�s why the big three crypto laundering services are so shockingly huge.

frankly �does this business accept butts� has been a great litmus test for me. if they do they�re probably shady/untrustworthy/gullible/or going to start shouting �no chargebacks� at me the instant there�s the slightest issue.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 19:08

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

blugu64 posted:

frankly “does this business accept butts” has been a great litmus test for me. if they do they’re probably shady/untrustworthy/gullible/or going to start shouting “no chargebacks” at me the instant there’s the slightest issue.

newegg accepting bitpay is a bummer

# ? Jul 29, 2021 19:20

SYSV Fanfic: Sep 9, 2003; by Pragmatica

I think the US should just declare war on ransomware.

# ? Jul 29, 2021 21:16

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

KnifeWrench posted:

newegg accepting bitpay is a bummer

microcenter is just down the road though

# ? Jul 29, 2021 21:18

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

SYSV Fanfic posted:

I think the US should just declare war on ransomware.

all the other times we declared wars on vague concepts make this proposal likely to end in ransomware being far more prevalent than it is now

# ? Jul 29, 2021 21:29

SubG: Aug 19, 2004; It's a hard world for little things.

ban all computers, problem solved

# ? Jul 29, 2021 22:36

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

SubG posted:

ban all computers, problem solved

A buttlerian jihad?

# ? Jul 29, 2021 23:00

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

I�m going to throw every computer into a lake

# ? Jul 29, 2021 23:04

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

what did the lake do to deserve that

# ? Jul 30, 2021 00:04

Clockwerk: Apr 6, 2005

kw0134 posted:

what did the lake do to deserve that

if the lake doesn�t want computers dumped in it then it should hire its own security forces.

# ? Jul 30, 2021 01:36

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

kw0134 posted:

what did the lake do to deserve that

look it's just a natural disposal method just like throwing your batteries into the ocean

# ? Jul 30, 2021 02:33

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

please don't throw batteries into the ocean

throw them into a lolbertarian's backyard instead

# ? Jul 30, 2021 02:39

SubG: Aug 19, 2004; It's a hard world for little things.

...and then throw the libertarian in the ocean

# ? Jul 30, 2021 02:45

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

SubG posted:

...and then throw the libertarian in the ocean

# ? Jul 30, 2021 02:53

SubG: Aug 19, 2004; It's a hard world for little things.

toot toot your a boat

# ? Jul 30, 2021 02:54

KnifeWrench: May 25, 2007; Practical and safe.; Bleak Gremlin

Weatherman posted:

please don't throw batteries into the ocean

it's gotten so bad that I heard there are electric eels now :smith:

# ? Jul 30, 2021 03:03

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

Clockwerk posted:

if the lake doesn�t want computers dumped in it then it should hire its own security forces.

Friday the 13th reboot sounding total poo poo

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:14

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Shumagorath posted:

Friday the 13th reboot sounding total poo poo

Elon Boerhees

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:17

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

FAUXTON posted:

Elon Boerhees

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:41

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

FAUXTON posted:

Elon Boerhees

idgi

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:51

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

what's an "elon"

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:51

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Boxturret posted:

what's an "elon"

about $4.25, same as in town

# ? Jul 30, 2021 04:52

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

Boxturret posted:

what's an "elon"

not much, what's an elon with you

fake edit: gently caress you apple, i don't want to capitalise elon

# ? Jul 30, 2021 05:44

Gazpacho: Jun 18, 2004; by Fluffdaddy; Slippery Tilde

Boxturret posted:

what's an "elon"

a miserable pile of twitter memes

# ? Jul 30, 2021 07:35

Cryptoracle: Jul 30, 2021; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Hammerite posted:

When I disagree with a rational man, I let reality be our final arbiter; if I am right, he will learn; if I am wrong, I will; one of us will win, but both will profit. Seraph is a nonce lol

It seems it's time once again for us to take another look back through Something Awful history for some much-needed perspective. This time we're going back all the way to Spring 2011:

I like this Dessert Rose person. The OG Seraph84, you love to see it. Too bad for them that they were being satirical rather than sincere.

You don't have to keep doing this to yourselves, you know. Sure, it was funny at first, but you're rapidly approaching self-harm territory now. As your friend, as your comrade, that truly saddens me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlGU8hWsoiA

Cryptoracle fucked around with this message at 12:14 on Jul 30, 2021

# ? Jul 30, 2021 10:58