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Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost

Funky See Funky Do posted:

There's a lot of quietly opiate addicted goons huh?

kratom is NOT an opiate. it's an opiate analogue and therefore entirely beneficial *suppresses urge to vomit*

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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

if you dont give a poo poo about anything you can reuse coffee grounds once

Mummichog
Aug 20, 2021

You can get away with crime if you do it real sneaky-like.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:


e: Oops! Sorry I thought this was the useful life hacks thread.

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009

Outrail posted:



e: Oops! Sorry I thought this was the useful life hacks thread.

while you're working on your car you should also change your blinker fluid and grease the muffler bearings, people always forget simple maintenance goes a long way

Harry_Potato
May 21, 2021
Gas station coffee is free if you drink it before you get to the register...

Poo In An Alleyway
Feb 12, 2016



Harry_Potato posted:

Gas station coffee is free if you drink it before you get to the register...

Everything in gas stations is free if the pockets on your trenchcoat are deep enough.

Mr.Acula
May 10, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds

Just pay 300 bucks for an escort every now and then. Its cheaper in the long run than an actual girlfriend, wife especially, and you dont have to speak to them or hear them speak after youve nutted and you're done with them

Mr.Acula
May 10, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds

Oh wait useless? Wrong thread

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
if your clothes no longer fit just rip them until they fit

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

dr.acula posted:

Just pay 300 bucks for an escort every now and then. Its cheaper in the long run than an actual girlfriend, wife especially, and you dont have to speak to them or hear them speak after youve nutted and you're done with them
or you can marry them and then they cant charge you any more

Tarkus
Aug 27, 2000

numberoneposter posted:

or you can marry them and then they cant charge you any more

They can even make money for you.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Staple your balls to a chicken and you can watch them cross the road.

Mimesweeper
Mar 11, 2009

Smellrose
staple your balls to a chicken to get to the other side

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

If you get arrested for making GBS threads in your terrible neighbor's yard, the judge will rule in your favor if you argue you were simply fertilizing the local ecosystem.

Poo In An Alleyway
Feb 12, 2016



dr.acula posted:

Just pay 300 bucks for an escort every now and then. Its cheaper in the long run than an actual girlfriend, wife especially, and you dont have to speak to them or hear them speak after youve nutted and you're done with them

Crossposting to the ‘Making friends in your 30s’ thread

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
if you're frustrated by high prices and low supply for high-end graphics cards, just close your eyes and imagine playing with it!

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

dr.acula posted:

Just pay 300 bucks for an escort every now and then. Its cheaper in the long run than an actual girlfriend, wife especially, and you dont have to speak to them or hear them speak after youve nutted and you're done with them

Just pay :10bux: for an SA account every now and then. Its cheaper in the long run than an actual girlfriend, wife especially, and you dont have to speak to them or hear them speak after youve nutted and you're done with them

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
You can read shampoo bottles over and over again while you poo poo if you forget your phone

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

When you've become a perfect being of pure kratom, you need only focus your consciousness upon that which you desire until it materializes before you.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
If you have minor aches or pains you can forget about them for a while by punching yourself right in the taint add hard as you can

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

Smugworth posted:

When you've become a perfect being of pure kratom, you need only focus your consciousness upon that which you desire until it materializes before you.

More kratom?

a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Tough hard water stains in your kitchen and bathroom? Turn up your cleaning power a notch by adding menstrual blood!

Harry_Potato
May 21, 2021
If you are desperate for sexual release, the internet has a couple of pornographic images you can access.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

***Discord***

MoonshineWilly
Feb 7, 2007

Damn you, harlot! Science and I know what we're doing!
Keep a knife by the toaster to jam down in there when the bread gets stuck.

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Use a decorative pencil case to store your family's poop knife in style

longtimelurker
Mar 12, 2006

Powered by alcohol

Fire will kill germs just as well as soap and water if you want to lower your utility bill.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
if you come up with a cool invention you can patent it and make a lot of money, so give that a shot

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

If you like sucking dicks you can get a good paying job at the factory and actually enjoy what you do for a living instead of feeling like you’re just going through the motions until you die.

I'm really sorry, but you have to hear this: the dick sucking factory? It's a metaphor.

I was skeptical, too, but when I did a meticulous search and could not find a single product or material produced by the dick sucking factory, I had to accept the truth.

Mister Speaker
May 8, 2007

WE WILL CONTROL
ALL THAT YOU SEE
AND HEAR
Nah the dick sucking factory is a real place, I knew a guy who had to get up at 4:20AM every day for his job at the dick sucking factory.

I hear they make you take two covid tests a day there.

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I'm really sorry, but you have to hear this: the dick sucking factory? It's a metaphor.

I was skeptical, too, but when I did a meticulous search and could not find a single product or material produced by the dick sucking factory, I had to accept the truth.

That's because we provide a service. One thing we do produce is smiles.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

I'm really sorry, but you have to hear this: the dick sucking factory? It's a metaphor.

I was skeptical, too, but when I did a meticulous search and could not find a single product or material produced by the dick sucking factory, I had to accept the truth.

Oh yeah? Well where the hell have I been going for 8 hours a day to suck dicks for the last 15 years then huh, smart guy? Yeesh :rolleyes:

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:
You wouldn't know the dick sucking factory, it's in Canada.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
I tried to get a job at the dick sucking factory in New Zealand but all I got was a mouth full of feathers.

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Oh yeah? Well where the hell have I been going for 8 hours a day to suck dicks for the last 15 years then huh, smart guy? Yeesh :rolleyes:

Are you joking? Of course we both know where you've been going: my house!

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Stars are made of kratom and if you learn to read the hidden knowledge spelled by their arrangement within the infinite universe while imbibing the sacred plant, you can unlock the secrets of faster than light travel

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Constantly tired? Constantly bitch about it!

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009

Peggy Edson posted:

Constantly tired? Constantly bitch about it!

*yawns v loudly for the 300th time today*

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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Are you joking? Of course we both know where you've been going: my house!

drat, you’ve really pulled the wool over my eyes!




Can I have a raise?

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