r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

spouse posted:

My girlfriend of seven years (and best friend for my entire life) cheated on me with my older brother.

Update: My girlfriend of seven years (and best friend for my entire life) cheated on me with my older brother.

The rare story where all the family members actually align with the wronged party. Hope he gets therapy too, glad he doesn't give a gently caress about the underlying reasons why they did it.

I hope we get Update: my older brother mysteriously died in the woods

Also I can tell OP will be okay because between the first and second update he learned how to double return on reddit.

edit: from the comments

Makes a good point that even if someone fucks up and there are circumstances like that, it still doesn't erase the pain and suffering the wronged party went through. Wanting to sever and move on is a completely fair thing to do and saying "that's a therapist's problem" is about as humane as someone suffering a massive betrayal can really be. There's some quote about forgiveness I can't remember that it's really more to the benefit of the offender then any sense of closure or healing.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:13

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# ? May 13, 2024 05:28

Zurtilik: Oct 23, 2015; The Biggest Brain in Guardia

My(27F) boyfriend (37M) plays Dr. Mario but never saves his game. Is this normal behavior?Personal is

quote:

Background: We've been dating for ~5 years and lived together for ~2. I got him the Switch for his birthday a few years ago. He has the Nintendo Arcade online thing for it which features his favorite childhood game, Dr. Mario.

He loves Dr. Mario and plays it to relax a lot, sometimes to fall asleep. He can play pretty well even when he's basically unconscious. I have fun watching him play and and feel proud when he gets high scores.

The only problem is he never loving saves his loving game. He works so hard to get high scores yet once he turns the game off his scores are completely erased forever. I try to kind of vaguely remember what level he gets up to, but I just want to see the real numbers.

Why does he keep playing it with such intensity if he cannot ever check if he's actually progressing or getting better? He said when he was little he used to rent Dr. Mario so his scores never saved anyway, but I feel like if you have the chance now, do it, right?

I'm not sure why it bothers me so immensely, but it does. He just won't save the game. I cannot understand how his mind functions so differently than mine and it's extremely vexing.

I guess I just want to know if "not having the part of your brain where you want to objectively measure progress" is a normal trait? If so, how can I learn to accept that? If not, what will make him save the game?

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:20

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Zurtilik posted:

My(27F) boyfriend (37M) plays Dr. Mario but never saves his game. Is this normal behavior?Personal is

lol

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:21

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I guess everyone decided to coordinate and send all of their crazy and/or petty stories into Prudence today. I couldn't pick just one.

Help! I Always Buy Fundraiser Crap From Other People�s Kids. But No One Shows Up for My Marathons.

quote:

Dear Prudence,

I am a happily child-free woman in a major urban area. I lovingly shower gifts on my nephews and friends� children and buy their overpriced school fundraiser gift wrap. Recently, I�ve taken distance running back up after a multi-year hiatus peppered by over-partying and other self-destructive behavior. Part and parcel of this is fundraising for various great causes, which in turns gets me entry to some prestigious marathons. While I have many people in my wider network who have donated even after seeing a lone tweet of mine, these close friends say they�re going to donate but when push comes to shove, they procrastinate and/or flake out at the last minute. The final straw that inspired me to write in was that one of these friends told me yesterday over brunch that during a certain five-borough race in a few weeks she won�t be able to step a block outside her apartment for a few minutes to cheer with a sign because she has to go with her daughter to some event (that her husband could attend instead). I feel taken for granted and unsupported and hence, I�m tempted to say no the next time I get hit up for overpriced mediocre school fundraiser crap. Is it petty of me to think this way?

� Nearing the Finish Line

Can I talk to my ex about current girlfriend who i always had a bad feeling about?

quote:

Dear Prudence,

I dated a man who I believed to be my soulmate for a little over a year. We started dating in December 2019, and then, you know, the pandemic happened. The pandemic put a lot of stress on us, but him dumping me seemed to come out of nowhere. A couple months after our breakup, I found out that he and his best friend�s wife are now dating. (I found out from the very distraught best friend, who is mourning the loss of both this friendship and marriage. He also revealed that his ex-wife has major anger issues, which my ex had hinted at before.) The thing is, I disliked this woman from the start. While I never believed she was romantically interested in my boyfriend, I thought she had an unhealthy attachment to him, and our personalities clashed. Turns out, she�s been in love with him for several years (during which she was married). Prudie, I can�t get this out of my head. I know this relationship began after our breakup, but I feel so misled about her. I always knew something was off, but my boyfriend told me that she and her then-husband were �good people.� It�s been months since I found out about this, and I really want to address this with my ex, since it�s weighing so heavily on me. Should I?

� He Didn�t Cheat, But�

cw: mention of bullying of a 1 year old
My mom keeps pushing her husband as the grandfather, but not after he pushed my kid into cake

quote:

Dear Prudence,

I have been happily married for 11 years and am a 34-year-old mother of three. My mother is a narcissist who has ghosted me for a year or so at a time in the past simply due to normal disagreements. Back in 2014 she married a man, �Cott,� from her office. Fitting enough, he, too, is a narcissist. He�s rude and doesn�t communicate with me, my kids, or my husband.

Three years ago, my son turned 1, and my mother�s husband pushed his head down into a cake at a birthday party. This was after I said not to and to just let my son explore the cake in front of him. This also left a few bruises on the back of his neck, making him cry terribly. Instead of apologizing, I was ghosted for two years. These narcissists simply can�t apologize.

Here�s my dilemma. My kids do not have a relationship with Cott, only with my mother. I tell my oldest to call him whatever makes her feel comfortable. Whether she calls him Cott or grandpa is up to her, but as it stands, I call him Cott and see him only as my mother�s husband, nothing more. She insists he has the title of my stepfather and my children�s grandfather. I get it, my entire life my mother has been a single hardworking mom and now she�s married, but excuse me if I don�t want this judgmental, disrespectful man-child to be considered my �father� in any terms. Am I wrong for denouncing the idea that he�s in any way my anything?

� Not My Dad

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:22

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Zurtilik posted:

My(27F) boyfriend (37M) plays Dr. Mario but never saves his game. Is this normal behavior?Personal is

Are you kidding me with this :lol:

Talk about overthinking

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:22

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Zurtilik posted:

My(27F) boyfriend (37M) plays Dr. Mario but never saves his game. Is this normal behavior?Personal is

even if he didn't rent the game it wouldn't have saved his scores. i mean, if we're talking about the NES version

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:24

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

When I play Dr Mario I start from the first level until I game over. I then turn it off, and don't ever bother with the high score keeping or whatever.

I think Dr Mario players are built different.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:25

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

DemoneeHo posted:

I guess everyone decided to coordinate and send all of their crazy and/or petty stories into Prudence today. I couldn't pick just one.

cw: mention of bullying of a 1 year old
My mom keeps pushing her husband as the grandfather, but not after he pushed my kid into cake

I want to stomp this fucker's face into a cake until he stops breathing.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:27

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for asking my friend to return an expensive gift I bought him because his wife doesn't like me?

quote:

I, 23 female, have been friends with my best friend, 24 male, for over ten years. For background information, he and I have never had any romantic attraction or relationship, and we are both married to our respective partners.

When he first got married his wife seemed completely okay with our friendship, that is until she met me. I was nothing but kind to her so I'm not sure why the sudden switch happened. She told him immediately that he could no longer talk to me, so I respected that and stepped away. A few months later he reached out to me and said she was fine with the friendship again, and everything was smooth sailing until a few weeks ago.

Back in January I had decided to purchase him a Switch Lite for his Birthday in September. I knew he had always wanted one but he and his wife don't make a huge income currently and she hates when he spends money on game related things. I texted him about the idea to make sure he and his wife were okay with it and I wasn't crossing any lines or boundaries as that is the last thing I ever want to do. He assured me a hundred times over the coming months that it was alright with him AND his wife. I tried to reach out on different social media platforms to his wife just so she would know I wasn't trying anything malicious, but they were all promptly declined.

September rolls around and I hand him off the gift. It was a brief exchange in a public space, but he barely said so much as a thank you before driving away. That night he texted me saying his wife refuses to talk to him. And after that I didn't hear from him, despite many attempts to reach out. I let it slide figuring he would reach out to me eventually. I experienced some of the worst few weeks of my life recently and could have really used my friend but I didn't want to overstep anything so I just left it alone.

Fast forward to a few days ago, my friend reached out to my husband to ask if I hated him. My husband said no but advised him that he should probably reach out to me with an explanation. He did not do that. Instead he texted my husband a long paragraph stating his wife was extremely upset with me and that I crossed several lines. When my husband pressed that he could have said no to the gift, he tried to say I wouldn't let him say no, which was completely untrue. I come to find out his wife did not actually okay the gift, but he wanted it so he lied to get his way figuring everything would turn out in his favor. Feeling frustrated and used I texted him asking him to return the gift to me, as it had caused so many issues and he was talking like he never wanted in the first place. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and is begging me to let him keep it. His wife has also attempted to reach out to let him keep the switch as well. But I have stood my ground and asked for it to be returned. So am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:32

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Why would you save your Dr Mario scores what is wrong with you people?

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:33

spouse: Nov 10, 2008; When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

hallo spacedog posted:

I want to stomp this fucker's face into a cake until he stops breathing.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:35

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

DemoneeHo posted:

cw: mention of bullying of a 1 year old
My mom keeps pushing her husband as the grandfather, but not after he pushed my kid into cake

Uh yeah the reasonable reaction to Cott leaving bruises on your child's neck is to tell him the next time he touches your child in any way, it will be the last thing he touches

I wouldn't have a relationship with Cott either. That's how abusers start, by "roughhousing" with kids and leaving bruises on them.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:47

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

How hard do you have to be gripping a child's neck to leave bruises? The OP should be ghosting her mom, not the other way around.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:51

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

This is a rare case of it would've been better if it'd been posted to reddit, so the commenters could give op a swift wake-up call.

Dazerbeams posted:

How hard do you have to be gripping a child's neck to leave bruises? The OP should be ghosting her mom, not the other way around.

It's actually infuriating. I don't want to victim blame here but op acknowledges her mother is a narc and won't change. This isn't just someone who keeps putting their hand on a hot stove and getting burned--now she's making her kids do it too.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:52

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Woodchip posted:

My (25M) mom wants my wife (25F) to use my last name for her PhD

I dated a girl with a PhD for a while, and in addition to just being easier for people to appreciate your whole publication history if you don't change names partway through it, when you do change names it also apparently dredges up a lot of latent sexism where people will realize you're married and be more reluctant to help you develop your career because naturally as a married woman you'll be prioritizing the babies you're going to have soon, won't be able to leave them behind to go traipsing through the jungle in Borneo or wherever, etc. She made very clear from the outset that if we ever got married she'd be keeping her name as-is.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 20:59

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

I posted this classic Dear Prudence in the last thread and I'm posting it again, primo r/relationships material and it's been 10 years since the birth of a legend

quote:

Dear Prudence,
A few months ago, in order to spice up our sex lives, I persuaded my wife of four years to try swinging. I searched online and found an ordinary-looking couple I thought would suit us to begin with. We met, had dinner, went to a hotel, and swapped partners. I am a fit, fairly good-looking, well-endowed man. I was surprised and dismayed when the other man, who is older, somewhat overweight, and balding, undressed. He was way larger than me, and for two hours I had to watch him work my wife into multiple fits, screams, and moans. Since this experience (which we have not repeated), I haven�t been able to look at my wife in the same way. I cannot get that night out of my mind. It�s affecting my work and ability to be happy. Sometimes I feel I could just punch my wife in the face. I want a divorce. The few friends I have confided in about this say that I am being unfair, but I cannot see how I could possibly be content in my marriage ever again. Is there a way I can overcome this?

�Outgunned Husband

quote:

Dear Outgunned,
Next time you consider swinging, choose your new partners more carefully. You�re looking for an advertisement that says something like, �She�s svelte, stacked, and sexy. He�s fat, bald, hung like a gnat, and suffering from erectile dysfunction.� How sweet for your wife, whom you coerced into this, that the male member of your �ordinary couple� ended up being an oversized piston. Perhaps you watched her having the best sex of her life while neglecting your own duties. Possibly your wife was putting on something of a show just to yank your chain. Now you want to divorce her, after first giving her a sucker punch. If you feel you�re actually a danger to your wife, you need to tell her and move out for her safety. You sound like quite a prize, and since you�ve obviously been behaving abominably since your encounter, I hope your wife has already tied up the services of the best divorce lawyer in town. However, if both of you want to salvage your marriage, you need the help of a mental health professional. You�ve fallen into an obsessive spiral that�s destroying you. You need medication, or meditation, or some intervention to get your thoughts back on track. Whether or not your wife is willing to rebuild your marriage, you owe her an apology. Tell her that you made a dreadful mistake and you hate that you pressured her to have sex with another man. Then take a look at Aesop�s fable about the tortoise and the eagle, which is a nice summary of the consequences of getting what you wished for.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 21:41

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

There's your spice motherfucker, you got the long pepper

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:03

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Erainor posted:

30 million people play MTG. I don't get the obsession, but I have friends who do. Will a court actually hear a case about Magic cards?

Yes. Even if you don't play it, they are objectively collectibles that can be worth a lot of money. When explaining them to a judge or other old person who doesn't know about nerd poo poo, I usually say "they're like baseball cards. Think of the black lotus in this case like a Honas Wagner." which handily explains that some of them are rare or limited and worth a lot of money, and why someone would need more than one pack since they are not like playing cards.

Neito posted:

Pop culture has told me thousands of times that "guys don't make passes at girls that wear glasses", but I've literally never found this to be true. Are there really people out there who think that glasses look bad?

It's not about the glasses, it's about what they represent. The expression is from like the 1930s when it was even more encouraged to give women who read grief. Depictions of women with glasses in like, political cartoons and animation were unflattering, like the hen with glasses in "Foghorn Leghorn." Since they couldn't attend college, they were probably teachers in one-room schoolhouses on the prairie whose employment contracts forbade them from dating, so you shouldn't waste your time. In code-era films, characters like this were often lesbian-coded. I think there was a joke about it on The Toast where Lavery said "the expression should be 'guys, don't make passes as girls who wear glasses.' "

Zurtilik posted:

Is there a way to like batch search subreddits? I look for terms but a lot of the results are obviously not the type of subreddit I would want. So like instead of one subreddit or the whole or Reddit could I just search like r/deadbedrooms, r/relationships, r/aita, for example?

Try google site search since reddit's search, like every aspect of the site, is lovely.

pentyne posted:

There's some quote about forgiveness I can't remember that it's really more to the benefit of the offender then any sense of closure or healing.

Yeah, there's a reason they're always the ones pushing for their victims to forgive them and invented the whole 'forgivness is good for you the victim ackshually" bumper sticker and throw pillow industry.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:11

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for asking my friend to return an expensive gift I bought him because his wife doesn't like me?

The rear end in a top hat friend is definitely using his wife's cellphone to text and say she loves the gift now, please let her husband keep it the Switch makes him so happy.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:12

pnac attack: Jul 7, 2021; by Fluffdaddy

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yeah, there's a reason they're always the ones pushing for their victims to forgive them and invented the whole 'forgivness is good for you the victim ackshually" bumper sticker and throw pillow industry.

the true path to happiness is grudges and bitter revenge fantasies

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:23

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

pnac attack posted:

the true path to happiness is grudges and bitter revenge fantasies

It�s true there is only extreme options available

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:35

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Dazerbeams posted:

How hard do you have to be gripping a child's neck to leave bruises? The OP should be ghosting her mom, not the other way around.

Yeah, this is the thing that tips it from being an outrageously stupid crossing of boundaries to being just straight up abuse. If it were my kid I would have been in jail that night. I don�t know how she can even speak to her mom after defending that.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:44

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

My wife and I both have professions tied to our name so we solved the kids name by jamming our last names together. We were lucky in that the first four letters of my name and the last five letters of her name worked out to a roughly normal looking/sounding last name.

There's no rules you can name a kid what ever you want.

You might find yourself in an awkward situation at a hospital or crossing a border if the last names don't match and you're not carrying guardianship paperwork with you.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:45

AcidCat: Feb 10, 2005

Still lmao @ emotional support beejohn.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:47

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Woodchip posted:

My (25M) mom wants my wife (25F) to use my last name for her PhD

Change your last name to your wife's.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 22:57

Jaxts: Apr 29, 2008

Midnight Voyager posted:

Change your last name to your wife's.

Let me tell you from experience, the entertainment value of this is limitless. It short circuited so many brains in my family.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:01

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Midnight Voyager posted:

Change your last name to your wife's.

No one change their name because who gives a poo poo.

Unless you have a weird first name / last name combo and want to get away from it.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:01

Zurtilik: Oct 23, 2015; The Biggest Brain in Guardia

I think people should pick their own last names since the idea is you're starting your own family. But, eh. It is a pain in the rear end.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:04

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

MarcusSA posted:

No one change their name because who gives a poo poo.

Unless you have a weird first name / last name combo and want to get away from it.

Shout out to my man Bradford Decock who got so much poo poo he did a name mash with his wife.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:05

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Harold Fjord posted:

Shout out to my man Bradford Decock who got so much poo poo he did a name mash with his wife.

really hoping he kept the cock part in that mashup.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:06

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Neito posted:

I remember reports from back when ThinkGeek existed of people using their caffinated water to make coffee, to predictable results.

These chumps need to just brew a pot, pour that back in, then filter through fresh grounds like normal addicts

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:15

Tendales: Mar 9, 2012

Zurtilik posted:

TIFU by making my husband think I was going to prison and now I can't play Mario Party.

r/relationships: please play Mario Party with me baby

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:17

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Jaxts posted:

Let me tell you from experience, the entertainment value of this is limitless. It short circuited so many brains in my family.

Did you get any pushback from administrators when doing this? I've heard stories.

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:28

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Harold Fjord posted:

Shout out to my man Bradford Decock who got so much poo poo he did a name mash with his wife.

My last name also has the word cock in it. Was bullied a few times until I managed to turn it around and impress on my peers that it definitely just meant that I had a big one

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:56

Jaxts: Apr 29, 2008

Bruceski posted:

Did you get any pushback from administrators when doing this? I've heard stories.

I was going through a K1 into a green card, and while none of the paperwork stuff was difficult, when it came to anything in person I would have USCIS stumble over their words when asking me about my maiden name, lol

Other than that, it was purely family confused and unable to understand why I was killing the family name

# ? Oct 21, 2021 23:56

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

therobit posted:

Yeah, this is the thing that tips it from being an outrageously stupid crossing of boundaries to being just straight up abuse. If it were my kid I would have been in jail that night. I don�t know how she can even speak to her mom after defending that.

Gramps is a total dick. I don't have kids, and extreme limited experience around little ones, but don't they bruise like bananas? Or, is it the opposite where they have like super human resistant to bruising? For whatever unknown, uneducated reason, I assumed they would bruise if you poke them hard.

To be clear, not even saying it was an okay thing to do, and I hope they die alone, and G-ma should be cut off, too. more curious about the physiology of the little human involved.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:01

packetmantis: Feb 26, 2013

Probing that post was a loser rear end move, lol.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:04

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Forgiveness being a virtue is something assholes say because they need forgiveness. Everyone has done something lovely to someone and if they don't wanna forgive me that sucks but life goes on.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:16

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Forgiveness being a virtue is something assholes say because they need forgiveness. Everyone has done something lovely to someone and if they don't wanna forgive me that sucks but life goes on.

Yeah, people say "you shouldn't hold grudges" but not bothering to have a relationship with someone is not a grudge. There are like eight billion people on this planet that I don't have a relationship with, that doesn't mean I hold grudges against them.

(I mean, I do, but that's just being a misanthrope.)

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:22

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# ? May 13, 2024 05:28

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

blight rhino posted:

Gramps is a total dick. I don't have kids, and extreme limited experience around little ones, but don't they bruise like bananas? Or, is it the opposite where they have like super human resistant to bruising? For whatever unknown, uneducated reason, I assumed they would bruise if you poke them hard.

To be clear, not even saying it was an okay thing to do, and I hope they die alone, and G-ma should be cut off, too. more curious about the physiology of the little human involved.

Depends on the kid, really. My son has always bruised if you even just look at him funny, but I have known other kids who can just absolutely eat it onto concrete and not bruise.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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