r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Depends on the kid, really. My son has always bruised if you even just look at him funny, but I have known other kids who can just absolutely eat it onto concrete and not bruise.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:34

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# ? May 11, 2024 10:32

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Depends on the kid, really. My son has always bruised if you even just look at him funny, but I have known other kids who can just absolutely eat it onto concrete and not bruise.

I remember being confused as a kid when I'd descriptions of kids getting bruised from fights/falls/etc., because I was a terrible klutz and would routinely faceplant onto every surface of the playground and never saw anything remotely black or blue or purple.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:38

Cool Dad: Jun 15, 2007; It is always Friday night, motherfuckers

Kids of a certain age will at all times have tons of bruises on the front of their legs, in my experience.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:42

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

blight rhino posted:

Gramps is a total dick. I don't have kids, and extreme limited experience around little ones, but don't they bruise like bananas? Or, is it the opposite where they have like super human resistant to bruising? For whatever unknown, uneducated reason, I assumed they would bruise if you poke them hard.

To be clear, not even saying it was an okay thing to do, and I hope they die alone, and G-ma should be cut off, too. more curious about the physiology of the little human involved.

Uh, not quite like a banana. That�s more like an old person on blood thinners. Like, some kids bruise easily, but even with that you should never put your hands on a kid in such a way as to bruise them unless maybe wrestling/roughhousing with a much older kid, and then bruises would still be a sign that you need to tone it down. If he had been at all gentle the kid wouldn�t have bruises. In my state leaving marks that last longer than 24 hours is the state�s definition of the line between physical discipline and physical abuse, which this absolutely was. The kid is only a year old.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:45

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Nextdoor, but definitely belongs here.

https://twitter.com/bestofnextdoor/status/1451321699371151360/photo/1

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:47

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Invisible Clergy posted:

Nextdoor, but definitely belongs here.

https://twitter.com/bestofnextdoor/status/1451321699371151360/photo/1

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:50

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Invisible Clergy posted:

Nextdoor, but definitely belongs here.

https://twitter.com/bestofnextdoor/status/1451321699371151360/photo/1

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:51

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

therobit posted:

Uh, not quite like a banana. That�s more like an old person on blood thinners. Like, some kids bruise easily, but even with that you should never put your hands on a kid in such a way as to bruise them unless maybe wrestling/roughhousing with a much older kid, and then bruises would still be a sign that you need to tone it down. If he had been at all gentle the kid wouldn�t have bruises. In my state leaving marks that last longer than 24 hours is the state�s definition of the line between physical discipline and physical abuse, which this absolutely was. The kid is only a year old.

gotcha. as I said, I was just ignorant in the little human subject.

Did I land in the "friend zone?

quote:

*Correction: I used the phrase "friend zone", which I dont really use because I find it derogative but apparently most people thinking the same(luckily). So when I say "friend zone" I mean a situation when in a friendship one wants to escalate to a romantic relationship but the other not really recognise it because the nature of their relationship. Please handle it that way in my post even though it has a different interpretation in every day use. Thanks

So its not a relationship(yet?) but it might cut the mustard for this sub. Im looking for advice or just opinions from you guys.

Due to my work, I(M30) travel a lot and sleep in hotels. The last 4 months I was working in the same area so I took the same place to stay overnight. There is this girl(31), who works as a receptionist/barista in the hotel. We got to know each other quite well and started to form a friendship sort of thing. In the last few weeks she started to message me quite a lot and calls me on her way home every now and then. I think I developed kind of a crush on her but she just recently broke up from a 4 years old relationship. She often talks to me about her feelings after the breakup and ask for my opinion, which I always listen to and try to comfort her. When Im being flirty she doesn't really get it (or Im just admittedly bad at flirting as well as reading the signs). I dont want to be pushy, I know how hard it is to process the end of a longer relationship even if it wasn't too great but I really like her. The way she talks to me and the subjects we often talk about makes me think she takes me as a friend and a friend only. How could I find out if that's the case or not? (yeah I know asking is the obvious thing to do but I feel I would ruin our friendship if she doesn't feel the same and I don't want to do that)

TLDR: Indirect way to find out if someon put you in the "froend zone" if you don't feel like bluntly asking?

Thanks in advance

Posted mainly for the bolded part. Is "..for this sub" the ending of that saying? I've never seen it.
Plus, i wanted to contribute something. I read some stupid sad ones looking for one.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:52

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

blight rhino posted:

gotcha. as I said, I was just ignorant in the little human subject.

Did I land in the "friend zone?

How could I find out if that's the case or not? (yeah I know asking is the obvious thing to do but I feel I would ruin our friendship if she doesn't feel the same and I don't want to do that)

Bro you are gonna have to ask her out or to do something and see how it goes. poo poo or get off the pot.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:57

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

Inexperienced, just looking for advice if anyone has some.

quote:

Little background for reference: I (29M) have a soft and feminine side that I typically keep to myself. Wear womens underwear daily, and while I'm home sometimes leggings or yoga pants, and only occasionally dress up more, but never to fully pass as a women.

So... I just started dating a new girl (28F) recently, but I don't know how and am scared to introduce that feminine side to her. Do yall have any experiences with that?

Should I just wear my normal panties, own it, and drop some of the news first time we have sex? Or wait a while, and open up slowly about the details over a longer time frame? However, the longer I decide to wait, the harder it feels to get those things out. But at the same time, I don't want to scare her off by revealing too much too quickly.

TLDR: Dating new girl. Wondering when I can or should share certain intimate details.

Fav comment?

quote:

Tbh I would take cue from the late artist formerly known as Prince� he�s very feminine and he gets women like crazy.

I mean he�s sexy AF, yet he dresses very feminine.

Not fair of me to assume, but I don't think many people can pull of the Prince look, unless you're Prince.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:58

Haschel Cedricson: Jan 4, 2006; Brinkmanship

blight rhino posted:

Posted mainly for the bolded part. Is "..for this sub" the ending of that saying? I've never seen it.

Pretty sure he's saying it might cut the mustard (meet the standards) for this sub (for this subreddit).

# ? Oct 22, 2021 00:58

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Pretty sure he's saying it might cut the mustard (meet the standards) for this sub (for this subreddit).

loving

. I thought a sandwich

i'm very dense, sometimes.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 01:00

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

AITA for chipping dog poop into my neighbor's front yard?

quote:

I bought my house about three months ago. When I moved in, I noticed there were a couple dozen lumps of dried dog doo on one side of my front yard. Before I mowed the first time, I went out and picked them up with a plastic bag over my hand.

The next day I noticed a couple more fresh turds on my lawn, so I kept an eye out for the culprit. It didn't take long to realize that my next door neighbors have some sort of Benji-looking fluff ball of a pooch that they let out unattended a couple of times a day. The dog would sniff around for a while, then run over into my yard and poop every time. It was as if he were trained that way. The daily poo accumulation rate seemed to be two or three.

I hardly knew my neighbors, so I was hesitant to approach them with this sort of issue right out of the gate. I waited a couple of weeks, but I made sure to go out and pick up the poop while my neighbors were outside. One Saturday afternoon, I saw my neighbor out front while I was tending the garden. I said hello and started a simple conversation. After a few minutes, I mentioned the poop and said it would be appreciated if they could pick up after their dog. My neighbor laughed and said that's not from his dog... that there is a stray dog in the neighborhood that does that everywhere. Hmmm... what to do.

I decided to "train" my video doorbell to the poop zone and set the sensitivity to high. Within a week, I had a robust collection of video evidence incriminating my neighbor's dog. I'm no poo-pathologist, but it's also pretty clear to me that all the poo in my yard came from the same doggo bung hole.

Armed with mountains of evidence, I took the opportunity to approach my neighbor's wife when she was walking the dog. I didn't go into forensic details, but simply asked her if she wouldn't mind picking up after her dog in my yard. She also denied it, and the conversation ended awkwardly at best.

I spent several more days noodling over what to do and decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled a pitching wedge out of my golf bag and proceeded to chip dog scat from my front yard into my neighbors. Beyond solving my immediate problem, I could also work a bit on my short game.

This went on for a some time. It became a weekly ritual that I sort of enjoyed. I did it without shame and in broad daylight. Everything was copacetic until last Saturday.

I was out doing my thing when my neighbor's wife barged out her front door screaming. She told me that I can't do that and called me every name in the book (including the obligatory A-hole word). I tried to keep my cool and told her that I was simply returning what was theirs. Last thing I heard was that she was calling the police as she left. I continued and finished up my chipping session.

I never heard from the police, I haven't seen my neighbors' faces and I haven't seen another poop on my lawn. I'll probably have a horrible relationship with my neighbors forever now, but my immediate problem is solved. AITA?

{EDIT} Lots of discussion about whether or not I showed the video. In my second encounter with the neighbor, I told them I had video of it. She said something like "WHAT!!!", the conversation escalated to awkward and ended shortly after... So I did NOT show the video, but I did tell them I had it.

My personal hero.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 01:02

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Zurtilik posted:

My(27F) boyfriend (37M) plays Dr. Mario but never saves his game. Is this normal behavior?Personal is

A rare post where the age gap explains the entire post but not in a creepy way.

If you do the math, a 37-year old likely started playing games in the NES/Game Boy era where plenty of games would forget your score and progress the instant you shut the system off. She, being a full decade younger, probably first played N64 or PSX games where that was no longer commonplace. Which explains why he sees this as totally normal and she's thinks it's insane.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 01:09

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

coronatae posted:

I posted this classic Dear Prudence in the last thread and I'm posting it again, primo r/relationships material and it's been 10 years since the birth of a legend

dayyyyuummmm

Was that Emily Yoffe or Daniel Lavery as Prudence? The snark sounds like Emily.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:08

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

It's Emily yeah. I never get tired of reading that one.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:35

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

OhAreThey posted:

dayyyyuummmm

Was that Emily Yoffe or Daniel Lavery as Prudence? The snark sounds like Emily.

It was Yoffe. While Lavery had much better opinions and advice overall, being much better about queer stuff and less susceptible to :decorum:

poisoning, I do wish he was as comfortable directly insulting bad guys who'd write in as Yoffe was.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:38

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Invisible Clergy posted:

It was Yoffe. While Lavery had much better opinions and advice overall, being much better about queer stuff and less susceptible to poisoning, I do wish he was as comfortable directly insulting bad guys who'd write in as Yoffe was.

Agreed!

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:42

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

AITA for not attending my sister's wedding due to it being child free?

quote:

My sister's getting married in a month and she just now announced that her wedding is gonna be child free. I don't mind the idea, my wedding was child free too and I'm a believer of child free weddings in general.

But the thing is, I'm a mother of two kids. One of them is 2 years old and heavily disabled and I can't afford to find care for her. The other one is barely a month old.

To explain some things. My sister lives 8 hours away and that's where her wedding will be. She'll rent out hotel rooms for the main family members (parents and siblings of the couple), we'll spend 3 days there, one day before the wedding, the day of and one day after. The thing is the hotel she booked also has a no kid policy so anyone in the family with kids should hire a baby sitter for those 3 days. I wouldn't mind hiring a babysitter but it's a last minute announcement and to my area its nearly impossible to find a babysitter who can care for a special needs child and a newborn. Also I can't be away for 3 days from my newborn since I have to breastfeed.

My husband and I had a discussion that either he or I should stay behind with the kids and one of us could attend the wedding. I could leave some breast milk on the special bags in the fridge for him to give our newborn if I went to the wedding. We thought that this would be a good compromise.

When I told my sister she got mad, said I'm not thinking of her special day and demands I find a babysitter and we come as a couple. I asked what's her deal with me attending the wedding alone and she didn't give a clear explanation she just said I'm TA for even daring to think that not attending the wedding as a couple with my husband would be acceptable. I told her I'm sorry for that but my kid's needs come first, I respect her decisions and rules about the wedding but it's a last minute announcement and I can't find a babysitter right now (I've searched for endless hours so this solution was my last resort) and since the hotel has a no kids policy and I can't bring the kids to the hotel at least so they'd be near in case of need, then one of the parents stays behind. If they were allowed in the hotel I wouldn't have trouble finding a babysitter for few hours but a whole 3 day weekend is impossible.

My parents have told me I'm TA for ruining my sister's wedding but I can't understand how that would possibly ruin her wedding at all. I told them that since she had a child free wedding she should expect that some people might not be able to show up and that not everyone has the money to give to a babysitter every time they are invited to a child free wedding and she should be ok with people not coming if they can't. AITA?

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:47

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

the holy poopacy posted:

I remember being confused as a kid when I'd descriptions of kids getting bruised from fights/falls/etc., because I was a terrible klutz and would routinely faceplant onto every surface of the playground and never saw anything remotely black or blue or purple.

When helping a former friend move (unrelated issues) we were carrying a giant statue when it slipped and got me in the shoulder with a corner. I was fascinated by the resulting bruise because I can't remember getting one before, at least not often. He thought my constant checking of it was trying to guilt him. It was a fascinating shade of yellow.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:49

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

AITA for telling my gf I can't be a parent because she won't let me?

quote:

Gf and I have been together 10 years. Never married due to commitment issues on her part. She conceived using donor sperm, and while the child is biologically and legally hers alone, I've been raising the child together since day one. Child will turn 6 soon. We both work full time and split the expenses but I do the lion's share of chores, if it matters.

Problem is, as the child grows, she becomes increasingly protective. By protective, I mean she doesn't let me use common parenting methods, like natural consequences and setting boundaries. Every thing I try to do, she undermines/undoes it. This is NOT what we had agreed upon before having the child. We took parenting classes, read books and attended workshops. Now it seems she has thrown all that out the window. Our child can do whatever she wants, eat only jellybeans for breakfast if so she fancies, stay up past midnight if she still wants to play. Of course that is not healthy. She's doodled on my work laptop and gf wouldn't even let me sit her down to explain why it's wrong. In short, she doesn't say no, doesn't teach child right from wrong, and doesn't let me do it. The kindergarten teachers have already complained a ton about behavior issues and suggest that we have our child evaluated, which we did. The specialist gave us some insightful advice that gf chose to ignore because she believes her child is perfect, and she is actively preventing me from carrying out those advice (such as setting a schedule, limit sugary foods etc.)

I tried to sit gf down for a serious talk, more times than I cared to count. She doesn't see a problem. I suggested therapy and ended up going alone because gf thinks the only one having a problem is me. Child apparently picked that up and thinks I'm the bad guy in the house. I wanted to try harder because I really love the child even if she's not mine biologically. But today I overheard gf tell her that I "still need to earn the parent title" and I broke. I pulled her aside and told her I can never be the child's parent because she won't let me. Now she's mad, accusing me of trying to abandon our child and giving me the cold shoulder. I think I'm the rear end in a top hat because, while I didn't say it in front of the child, she's a smart kid and picks up things pretty fast. I think I've let her down.

INFO: She used donor sperm because of her commitment issues. She wanted the child to be solely hers so that there will be no legal battles over custody should we break up.

INFO 2: A lot of you are asking why I ok'd using donor sperm. Short answer is I don't care about blood. My parents are despicable people and their lineage will end with me. Also it's legit donor sperm that we picked together from a sperm bank.

Didn't think I'd wake up to so many comments. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I apologize for not replying to all but I promise to read and think through every one.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

therobit posted:

AITA for telling my gf I can't be a parent because she won't let me?

I want to thank this person for not doing the usual thing of preemptively refusing to do the correct thing so since its on the table I say go hop in your time machine and stop yourself from being a colossal dumbass 7 years ago.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 02:59

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Lol how did that guy get cucked so hard without even another dude in the picture

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:04

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

AngryRobotsInc posted:

Depends on the kid, really. My son has always bruised if you even just look at him funny, but I have known other kids who can just absolutely eat it onto concrete and not bruise.

While some kids bruise more easily than others, location plays a huge role in whether or not a bruise is concerning or not. Bruising where one expects bruising, shins, arms, etc. are fine because they're all a little bit of soft tissue right next to a bone. Of course blood vessels are going to ooze on impact because they're getting squished. Neck (or butt) bruising is a huge red flag because it's all soft tissue which either means you provided two hard surfaces (think fingers squeezing around a neck) or provided a whole lot of force.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:06

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

therobit posted:

AITA for telling my gf I can't be a parent because she won't let me?

Wtf lol what a dummy

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:08

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

therobit posted:

AITA for telling my gf I can't be a parent because she won't let me?

"I don't care about anybody else. When I think abOOOOOuut you, I cuck myself."

OP has no rights legally, or in practice, his gf sucks, the kid who isn't his sucks, his staying present in the relationship is not having any positive effect since both of them are just whining about it. In other words:

Nooner posted:

Lol how did that guy get cucked so hard without even another dude in the picture

He put in his 10,000 hours.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:15

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Yeah, never married, not his sperm or his name on the birth records, just bounce dude.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:20

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

ShootaBoy posted:

Yeah, never married, not his sperm or his name on the birth records, just bounce dude.

Couldn�t he technically still be on the hook since he�s essentially been raising the kid since birth?

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:22

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

MarcusSA posted:

Couldn�t he technically still be on the hook since he�s essentially been raising the kid since birth?

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes he can. de-facto parentage is absolutely the case here. though if the mother refuses payments i don't think there's a lot a judge or arbitor could do?

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:37

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

MarcusSA posted:

Couldn’t he technically still be on the hook since he’s essentially been raising the kid since birth?

Possibly? But she'd have to try and take him to court and if he's not on the birth certificate that really hurts anything she might try.

edit: like im no lawyer but I have seen more enough custody bs here, and she has really hampered herself with her weirdass paranoia

ShootaBoy fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Oct 22, 2021

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:37

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

I assume he doesn't want to leave because he loves his daughter and wants to be a part of her life even though she isn't biologically or legally his. But it's a completely untenable situation that will just get worse with time, so leaving is the only thing he can really do here. If the girlfriend decides to kick him out first then he's going to be poo poo out of luck. She might not though because it sounds like he does all the housework.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:42

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

if the mother refuses payments i don't think there's a lot a judge or arbitor could do?

i wouldn't count on it

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:43

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes he can. de-facto parentage is absolutely the case here. though if the mother refuses payments i don't think there's a lot a judge or arbitor could do?

Yeah he�s in a pretty poo poo situation because unless he gets something in writing he�s gonna be on the hook for 18 years.

The GF is just using him.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:47

Betazoid: Aug 3, 2010; Hallo. Ik ben een leeuw.

Kid bruising chat:

I was a skinny kid who always bruised, no matter how carefully I played. (With also having three bruised, skinny siblings, I'm frankly glad my parents weren't accused of abusing us!) Some people bruise super easily, and it's weird to explain to people. I actually recently (I'm in my mid-30s) banged into a wall and my shoulder turned chartreuse for two weeks. I still have scars from shaving my legs while drunk in my early 20s. So, yeah, people are weirdly different about it. My older niece is like me, but my younger one was nicknamed "Teflon" as a toddler because the kid is just weirdly tough and doesn't get banged up by anything. :iiam:

That said, pushing a baby into their birthday cake by their neck? Murder. I'd be in jail like the other goon said.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 03:55

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Betazoid posted:

Kid bruising chat:

I was a skinny kid who always bruised, no matter how carefully I played. (With also having three bruised, skinny siblings, I'm frankly glad my parents weren't accused of abusing us!) Some people bruise super easily, and it's weird to explain to people. I actually recently (I'm in my mid-30s) banged into a wall and my shoulder turned chartreuse for two weeks. I still have scars from shaving my legs while drunk in my early 20s. So, yeah, people are weirdly different about it. My older niece is like me, but my younger one was nicknamed "Teflon" as a toddler because the kid is just weirdly tough and doesn't get banged up by anything.

That said, pushing a baby into their birthday cake by their neck? Murder. I'd be in jail like the other goon said.

The other part of that is that mandatory reporters and the child welfare people are used to seeing the normal bruises that kids get from bonking their shins into things or falling on their knees or elbows. So unless you ran your eye or your cheek into a doorknob or something like that that looked like someone struck you, probably nothing would happen.

But the neck? I think there are only a handful of ways one bruises one�s neck and nearly all of them are concerning.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 04:05

Funktastic: Jul 23, 2013

WIBTA if I tell my college friend that I'm sorry and disappointed to see that she revoked her RVSP?

quote:

Back in college, my fiance Stu and I were close to the five other students (mid-20s, M and F) in our flatshare. One of our flatmates, Lysa, was in love with our other flatmate Brenton. Brenton liked Lysa, but didn't love her like the way she did for him. Eventually Brenton started dating Michelle, who started hanging out in our group more often. By the time we were in our senior year, Michelle was living with us in another flatshare. I've always considered ourselves to be a tight knit group, but I noticed that Lysa would distance herself whenever she was in the same room as Michelle. We think Lysa has always resented Michelle for dating her crush, but she would never confirm or deny it.

Since graduation, we've gone our separate ways. Stu and I are getting married in December. Things have gone back to normal around here, so we're having a somewhat largish wedding (75 guests). Our wedding party is pretty small. I wanted two bridesmaids, Stu wanted two groomsmen. So we picked our college friends for our wedding party including Brenton. Since Brenton was now engaged to Michelle, and I had grown close to her, it only felt natural to have her be my bridesmaid. The other bridesmaid and groomsman are our other two flatmates who are now married. Unfortunately, this meant we couldn't make Lysa a bridesmaid as well as Stu doesn't have any brothers or male relatives or friends to step in. Our fifth housemate is going to be our officiant.

I know it hurt Lysa when she found she wasn't going to be in the wedding party. We tried to make it up to her by suggesting the part of the guest book attendant, but she declined. We tried to make an effort to make her feel included by inviting her to my bachelorette party, but Lysa said she couldn't afford it nor could she get time off work. Same went with a dinner for the bridal party (in hindsight, I wish Michelle didn't pick such a fancy restaurant).

Cut to now. It's two months before the wedding and Lysa sent me a message telling me that she was sorry, but she was no longer attending the wedding.

I would have accepted this, but then our officiant showed me Lysa's instagram page.

Lysa is going to London during the same weekend as our wedding. For two weeks.

I am honestly really upset with her. I thought we were friends. I'm sorry if she feels left out of the wedding stuff, but we were close. Our whole friend group was close. And now she's ditching us to loving watch Cabaret?

I really want to call her and just talk to her. I think we really should talk about this. If it's about the wedding or what happened in college or Michelle or whatever, then we need to talk about it before it kills our friend group for good. We're split on the issue. Stu and I want to talk to her, Brenton and Michelle thinks its a bad idea, and I think our officiant knows something we don't about our friend.

WIBTA? What do I do now?

# ? Oct 22, 2021 04:12

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

therobit posted:

AITA for not attending my sister's wedding due to it being child free?

I'm a mother of two kids. One of them is 2 years old and heavily disabled

When I told my sister she got mad, said I'm not thinking of her special day

Well, no, of course OP isn't thinking of her sister's "special day", she's thinking of her loving child's welfare.

# ? Oct 22, 2021 04:21

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

I'm pouring through a previous thread trying to find a "woe is me life sucks" about a guy bemoaning his life talking about how little the sawmill is paying and how the country is being run by communists who won't given a hard working man a fair wage and casually mentions his family used to be really wealthy but they lost everything and moved North shortly after 1865.....

Anyways this made me cackle like a maniac and I wanted to remind everyone of it

La Brea Carpet posted:

me: i think i might have a severe intestinal parasite that is causing me lots of anguish please don't sing dragula
my anus: dead i am the one
me, sobbing: please please i got a phone call from the parasitology lab
my doctor via speakerphone: conquering the worm

# ? Oct 22, 2021 04:22

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

What is this 'bruise' thing. I'm certain I've never had one of those in my entire life

# ? Oct 22, 2021 05:08

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# ? May 11, 2024 10:32

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

therobit posted:

AITA I got a caretaker and nurse for my mom against my wife's wishes

OP sucks poo poo for planning(presumably, not that it's any better if it was unplanned) a pregnancy while there's a dementia patient in the home. His wife 100% did some serious reevaluation of the situation after getting pregnant and his dumb rear end refuses to believe why it's a problem because ~she made her choice when we got married~. (she also should have done this reevaluation before getting pregnant, but better late than never)

Look: Dementia is a horrible disease and you're often between a rock and a hard place when deciding between lovely nursing homes vs the horrible soul-sucking grind of trying to take care of a loved one in your own home. It's extra horrible reading between the lines here that OP's mom likely has early onset dementia(given his age and the fact that it was a thing before he even got married), meaning they could be dealing with this for decades. But if you make the decision to bring a demented parent into your home indefinitely, you do not bring a baby into that. It's not fair to your kid or your parent.

If having his wife rent a place right next door is unironically an option, him and her should move there so they can get some space from his mom+caretaker team(and so having a new baby in the home doesn't make his mom's dementia worse, or possibly create danger for the baby because granny thinks it's her own baby/granny doesn't remember that babies don't go in the fridge/etc). Of course he's not going to, because his wife and child are obviously just an afterthought to him, and he's going to be really mystified that his kid will resent growing up in this situation. (assuming his wife doesn't divorce him first)

# ? Oct 22, 2021 05:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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