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I have definitely dreamt about trying to use this toilet before.
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Nov 25, 2021 01:31
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Flint_Paper posted:I have definitely dreamt about trying to use this toilet before. how much piss is in your kitchen in the morning?
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Nov 25, 2021 01:44
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gently caress you, cop who creepily, angrily told me I must “get off” on my “power trip” working for a utility and essentially implying he’d use his power as a cop to find out who I was to get me, personally, in legal trouble, because I called asking when he intended to pay a bill and avoid getting his power shut off. I was silent in response. I wish I’d told him to go gently caress himself and walked out of the call center. I don’t know how people work in the field for long periods. They had dogs sent after them, guns pulled, all matter of threats. There were repeat hostile customers that required police escorts to visit the property. Our head of security was a retired NYC cop. I hosed hated that job but in retrospect it demonstrated how gross American systems are when it comes to something that ought to be a human right.
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Nov 25, 2021 12:45
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Another Enbridge gas story, I actually only received ONE prank call. See, when you work with natural gas, you get used to the jokes real quick, like the urge to joke about it all dies in like a week. And we took emergency calls, as if someone said they smelled gas (which was of course flammable), we had procedures and scripts and had to contact dispatch to ensure someone was going out right away to deal with it. Other emergencies were carbon monoxide related. One time, a call came through on the emergency line. Me: Enbridge, please state your emergency. Teen, probably: I smell gas. Me: Alright, what's your address, and nearest intersection? Teen: I smell gaaaaas. Me:.... ok, I've established that, do you know where it's coming from? Teen: *laughing* MY ANUS HOLE, because I FAHTED! *click* Takes all kinds.
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Nov 25, 2021 14:20
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Ambulance service dispatcher. I don’t take a lot of calls but I hear about them and then choose the poor souls who have to transport them. We had one guy call in about midnight saying he wanted us to come pick him up from home and take him to the hospital cause he wanted to gently caress his dog, he went on to tell us it was a Saint Bernard and it’s a problem he’s battled for a while. Our company policy is no home pick ups so we told him we couldn’t help him. A month or two later we got a call for a hospital discharge, patient going home after a psych stay… for having sex with his dog. Same guy. I did feel bad having to turn him down the first time cause he clearly wanted help and the second part could have been prevented. I hear lots of the call takers getting death threats because their doctor appt transport is late. Transport for a guy going to a higher level of care because his baby momma stabbed him with a bbq skewer and now it’s sticking out of his chest (the guy brought his new girlfriend to his BABY SHOWER and then proceeded to talk poo poo about the heavily pregnant mother to be. So she stabbed him.) People wanting ambulance transports to the ER for anal itching.
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Nov 25, 2021 18:40
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Anal itching can be a sign of worms, to be fair. It probably isn't. But it could be.
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Nov 25, 2021 23:03
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Heath posted:Anal itching can be a sign of worms, to be fair. Unless it's Arrakis style worms coming out of your butt you probably don't need an ambulance to hospital.
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Nov 25, 2021 23:21
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This is why you gotta fart without rhythm
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Nov 26, 2021 00:00
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My shame is a killing turd
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Nov 26, 2021 02:01
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CeramicPig posted:Ambulance service dispatcher. I don’t take a lot of calls but I hear about them and then choose the poor souls who have to transport them.  I hope my town doesn't have the kind of ambulance that can't go to your home. "Chest pains, you say? Of course, we'll send out the EMTs at once. Where are you, are you at your workplace, or on the side of a road, or... oh, you say you're at home? I'm so sorry, but ambulances can't go there. Yeah, company policy. Any chance you'd be able to stagger a few blocks down the street? We can have the medics meet you at the gas station."
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Nov 26, 2021 03:33
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You're thinking of the 911 guys, this would be like a taxi for medically fragile people. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patient_transport
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Nov 26, 2021 04:09
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HelleSpud posted:You're thinking of the 911 guys, this would be like a taxi for medically fragile people. she did say they dispatched emergent though, otherwise I'd have understood that the company only did IFTs too. definitely weird to handle emergency calls but have a policy not to do home transports.
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Nov 26, 2021 04:13
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HiroProtagonist posted:she did say they dispatched emergent though Point to where she did
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Nov 26, 2021 04:25
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Skewer sticking out of the chest sounded a smidge urgent but I don't know what counts for an emergency
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Nov 26, 2021 05:32
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Yeah the skewer thing would have been emergent trauma but i was reading between the lines 
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Nov 26, 2021 06:45
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https://imgur.com/gallery/fOBQEtb
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Nov 26, 2021 08:37
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fixed
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Nov 26, 2021 08:41
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Brawnfire posted:Skewer sticking out of the chest sounded a smidge urgent but I don't know what counts for an emergency HiroProtagonist posted:Yeah the skewer thing would have been emergent trauma but i was reading between the lines The actual line: quote:Transport for a guy going to a higher level of care He was already at a medical center and was being transported to another. The emergency dispatch would be the initial response bringing him from the house to the first medical center. Here, the emergency is over and he's stable enough the doctors can take the time to send him somewhere more specialized.
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Nov 26, 2021 17:50
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Inceltown posted:fixed not AUG. this owns.
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Nov 26, 2021 18:27
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HelleSpud posted:The actual line: Ah, dang, I see. Ta!
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Nov 26, 2021 19:33
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CeramicPig posted:We had one guy call in about midnight saying he wanted us to come pick him up from home and take him to the hospital cause he wanted to gently caress his dog, he went on to tell us it was a Saint Bernard and it’s a problem he’s battled for a while. Our company policy is no home pick ups so we told him we couldn’t help him. It's tragic that such morally inept behaviour couldn't be curtailed.
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Nov 27, 2021 13:42
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Beer_Suitcase posted:*Pulls up image of this same nice man SUCKING HIS OWN DICK* So why was he on a dating site?
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Nov 27, 2021 13:54
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Stoatbringer posted:So why was he on a dating site? Wanted an audience?
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Nov 27, 2021 16:02
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Stoatbringer posted:So why was he on a dating site? Someone who can suckk him own dick... Can maybe suck you'rse as well?!?
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Nov 27, 2021 16:14
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Bussamove posted:Working in a restaurant, most of the poop stories I have involve children being ignored by their terrible parents until they either drop a log or pee just all over themselves while the winemoms get their drink on. So, this restaurant I worked at had a fenced in back area because the rear entrance opened into the parking lot of a pool hall. 9 foot tall hardwood fence, maybe 8x8 feet in area. I'm back there after a rush, smoking a cigarette and breaking down boxes when a loaded diaper comes sailing over the fence, opening mid-air to spray baby poo poo on me and everything behind me. I lost it, screaming angry. "What the gently caress?! Im pissed and I'm going to come out this door pissed, you motherfucker!" I bust open the gate and there is a very drunk, very tiny blonde woman standing there, beet red in the face. "You gonna clean that up?!" To her credit, she did. No further words were exhanged.
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Nov 27, 2021 17:06
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madeintaipei posted:So, this restaurant I worked at had a fenced in back area because the rear entrance opened into the parking lot of a pool hall. 9 foot tall hardwood fence, maybe 8x8 feet in area. I'm back there after a rush, smoking a cigarette and breaking down boxes when a loaded diaper comes sailing over the fence, opening mid-air to spray baby poo poo on me and everything behind me. I lost it, screaming angry. So was the diaper hers, or her child's?
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Nov 27, 2021 20:09
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Plot twist: it was madeintaipei's
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Nov 27, 2021 22:48
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Nov 28, 2021 07:14
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mr boop is going to be devastated
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Nov 28, 2021 08:58
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Ellie Trashcakes posted:mr boop is going to be devastated who do you think took the photo
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Nov 28, 2021 10:43
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CommissarMega posted:It's tragic that such morally inept behaviour couldn't be curtailed. 
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Nov 28, 2021 10:50
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“Good defense Nikky!” Says the proud single parent of a ashamed child
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Nov 28, 2021 11:07
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Do you think he made a conscious decision to wear that shirt that day, or did he just throw on one of his white shirts and not check the back? Maybe he took his jacket off and forgot what was underneath?
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Nov 28, 2021 11:31
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Beartaco posted:Do you think he made a conscious decision to wear that shirt that day, or did he just throw on one of his white shirts and not check the back? Maybe he took his jacket off and forgot what was underneath? I have a dumb jokey shirt I got from a second hand store. I think it's for a radio station. On the front it says "SWEAT PANT BONERS", and on the back, it says "FEEL THE THICKNESS OF ROCK". Now, I'm forgetful and aloof as poo poo, I take medication just to keep my thoughts on track, and there's no way in hell I'd wear that out, especially on its own, or around any kids at all. Dude is flaunting.
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Nov 28, 2021 12:40
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Stoatbringer posted:So why was he on a dating site? There's a goon quote about this. Something roughly to the effect of "turns out sucking your own dick feels a lot more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked".
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Nov 29, 2021 09:03
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HazCat posted:There's a goon quote about this. Something roughly to the effect of "turns out sucking your own dick feels a lot more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked".
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Nov 29, 2021 18:19
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Flint_Paper posted:This is why you gotta fart without rhythm 
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Dec 1, 2021 17:47
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Beer_Suitcase posted:Debt Settlement companies Man I know it's just a job but every single person I've spoken to that worked for collection agencies was just the smuggest, most condescending shithead I ever had the displeasure of speaking to. One of my student loans defaulted and I got a call trying to pressure me into paying off the total balance "or else we'll take legal action." Trying to explain that since I couldn't pay the monthly installments, I don't know why they thought I'd be able to pay the whole thing off just led to this lady going on a whole "well I guess you should've thought of that before owing us money, huh?" rant like she was trying out for the part of a mob boss. This was like back in 2011 or so when there were a lot of news articles and stories talking about the student loan debt crisis so it was especially tone deaf. They weren't even the original lender, just some collection agency that bought my loans for pennies on the dollar. I told her to gently caress off and hung up. Never paid them and the loan changed hands a couple more times until like a decade later when I had a bit of a windfall and paid the whole thing off. I'd moved to a different country by that point so it didn't really matter but whatever
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Dec 1, 2021 18:29
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HazCat posted:There's a goon quote about this. Something roughly to the effect of "turns out sucking your own dick feels a lot more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked". I once said that exact thing on these very forums but I can only see my posts going back to 2009 so either this is referring to me or someone else had the exact same experience as I did. I believe what I said was "I always hear men saying if I could suck my dick I'd never leave the house; well I can suck my own dick but I'm terrible at it so while I was giving myself a bad blowjob all I could think was 'yup I'm sucking a dick''"
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Dec 1, 2021 19:28
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Kit Walker posted:Man I know it's just a job but every single person I've spoken to that worked for collection agencies was just the smuggest, most condescending shithead I ever had the displeasure of speaking to.  One former friend took a job with a student loan servicer and thought I'd laugh along with him talking about the horrendous poo poo he did to people who were clearly struggling and about to default. It takes a borderline sociopath to not just do that job but to take joy in doing it.
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Dec 1, 2021 19:31
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