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Dream Weaver posted:Jeez now I am rethinking my Isekai-ed main character is called to be the sect leader of a cultivation school. Alright no school tropes like that. Got it. no this sounds like fun because "cultivation school principal" isn't actually done to death. i guess sects in general are "cultivation schools" but they are lovely and deadly, and getting called to the principal's office means shame and dishonor on your family for ten thousand generations instead of detention forge of destiny and fates parallel are the only ones i can think of that are "cultivation school" and both of them simply used that as an opening premise instead of the core conceit - and they're from a student perspective, not a teacher/admin perspective.
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Jan 12, 2022 03:10
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I would totally be down for a school from the admin side. And hell, you can put schools in your story if you want to. I just think some authors need to add their own twists on things instead of doing exactly what everyone else has done.
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Jan 12, 2022 03:42
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I don't care about a school as a setting since there's a reason it's useful, but when it's just there and has not much to do with the actual plot or character development it feels like checking a box and is annoying. If you're gonna do that, vainquerer did it right, in that it was literally one chapter long lmfao.
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Jan 12, 2022 03:51
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Elfface posted:The ones that do are pretty great though. The 'Spider-Man and the X-Men' mini series for example. It's also the source of the "But I don't want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs" panel. Wait, Dr. Tyrannosaur in the Perfect Run is an X-Men reference?
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Jan 12, 2022 04:43
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LLSix posted:Wait, Dr. Tyrannosaur in the Perfect Run is an X-Men reference? https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/but-i-dont-want-to-cure-cancer-i-want-to-turn-people-into-dinosaurs
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Jan 12, 2022 04:46
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Larry Parrish posted:I don't care about a school as a setting since there's a reason it's useful, but when it's just there and has not much to do with the actual plot or character development it feels like checking a box and is annoying. I like school settings! That said, I can't exactly disagree with the idea that at lot of them are clearly just copycatting everything.
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Jan 12, 2022 06:58
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Bremen posted:I like school settings! That said, I can't exactly disagree with the idea that at lot of them are clearly just copycatting everything. Do American hellscape public schools instead of twee English boarding schools. Active Shooter drills, 35 to a classroom, no arts funding, and one male teacher with a junior he’s sexually abusing. Add magic or superpowers and you’ll really have something
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Jan 12, 2022 07:16
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navyjack posted:Do American hellscape public schools instead of twee English boarding schools. Active Shooter drills, 35 to a classroom, no arts funding, and one male teacher with a junior he’s sexually abusing. Add magic or superpowers and you’ll really have something
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Jan 12, 2022 07:19
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Whaleporn posted:{Good post} Really cool effort post! Thank you for writing this up.
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Jan 12, 2022 09:11
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Peachfart posted:I would totally be down for a school from the admin side. And hell, you can put schools in your story if you want to. I just think some authors need to add their own twists on things instead of doing exactly what everyone else has done. I want to do this! A whole Otome... from the POV of one of the professors. "You did WHAT now? Oh jeez. These blasted princesses."
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Jan 12, 2022 13:51
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Peachfart posted:I would totally be down for a school from the admin side. dude finds flaws in everything but he still has to deal with bureaucracy
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Jan 12, 2022 14:16
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Peachfart posted:I would totally be down for a school from the admin side. And hell, you can put schools in your story if you want to. I just think some authors need to add their own twists on things instead of doing exactly what everyone else has done. Absolute Great Teacher is kinda like that. It's not amazing, but it's readable. It's kind of like a slightly douchier Library of Heaven's Path.
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Jan 12, 2022 15:59
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The title Absolute Great Teacher just makes me think that a Great Teacher Onizuka type story set in a magic school would be pretty great. Solve complicated contemporary social problems with a combination of straight forward earnestness and violence. But with spells.
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Jan 12, 2022 16:30
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Peachfart posted:I would totally be down for a school from the admin side. And hell, you can put schools in your story if you want to. I just think some authors need to add their own twists on things instead of doing exactly what everyone else has done. Well I am working on introducing the part where people die a ton during training, but the first four chapters are up here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/49962/sect-leader-cold-hard-truth-isekai-cultivation
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Jan 13, 2022 03:59
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Dream Weaver posted:Well I am working on introducing the part where people die a ton during training, but the first four chapters are up here: "sects" in the last sentence of the description blurb should be "sect's" a bit nitpicky but you need your summary to be impeccable or some % of readers will just assume the whole story is riddled with typos e: and...the first chapter has tense errors, capitalization issues, odd wording, etc. so maybe that's not an incorrect assumption for them to make. no offense but you need to either write more carefully or (if you can) find an editor Jazerus fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Jan 13, 2022 |
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Jan 13, 2022 04:02
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i just don't bother with stuff that isn't correctly written tbh. it's not worth my time.
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Jan 13, 2022 05:45
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So what's the gravesong verdict
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Jan 13, 2022 05:52
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I'm not even halfway through but I'm liking it so far. If you were worried that a physical print format would force it to be faster paced than you'd like for a TWI story... that's not gonna be a problem, lol--it's the same slow burn we know and love. I'm trying to spoil as little as possible because it's not even out for the general public yet, so well, you probably weren't expecting a quarter of the book to be a slice of life story entirely about being stuck in a crypt, but here we are. That part is more engaging than when Erin was just alone at the start, at least. And more generally speaking, I always felt that what TWI was lacking was a "power of music" thing. I mean yeah, Erin makes people feel good with her songs, but TWI hasn't really had a thing where the power of the music is itself what saves the day. I love that kind of thing, and this one has it.
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Jan 13, 2022 06:07
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tithin posted:So what's the gravesong verdict its very good, an excellent introduction to The Wandering Inn, and my only critique would be the pacing needs a bit more breathing room in the final eighth or so
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Jan 13, 2022 07:26
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Jazerus posted:"sects" in the last sentence of the description blurb should be "sect's" drat like five people checked it and nobody said any of this. Thanks.
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Jan 13, 2022 12:38
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Just finished Gravesong, good stuff. Cara's a little bit Ryoka 2.0, but not nearly as insufferable as she was in her introductory chapters. Story went through some familiar beats, but being aimed at physical publication, it pretty clearly adheres to the hero's journey, rather than going in whatever the gently caress direction it feels like the way TWI does. Should make a good introduction to TWI, but I do worry that the number of proper nouns that are only there to link to TWI might overwhelm--Lyonette, Khelt, Az'kerash, and a couple of others are mentioned and are briefly explained for context, but the number of them might also come across to a new reader as "ugh, do I have to remember all of these names?" when they're only very barely germane to the story.
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Jan 13, 2022 20:24
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Speaking of, I've spent the past couple of weeks working my way through TWI and I'm only just finishing book 4, it's exhausting.
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Jan 13, 2022 20:30
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Dream Weaver posted:drat like five people checked it and nobody said any of this. Thanks. hmm well in that case i would be happy to annotate the four current chapters to point out what seems strange to me. i'll pm you a google doc in the next day or two with my thoughts. i can't be your editor long term but i do like the concept a lot so it would be nice to see it succeed.
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Jan 13, 2022 20:32
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Gravesong was pretty good! I don't have a clue if it's really capable of standing on its own (as slow as the early bits are, it still feels rather rushed considering all the detail we have from the main novel) but as a mega chapter it was A++.
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Jan 13, 2022 21:08
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I'm rereading Ar'Kendrithyst. It's fun seeing the disparity in power and a lot of stuff that makes more sense with more knowledge of the world. Also, quiet war poo poo hasn't come up in a long while, but god everyone who participates in that is so infuriating. Good stuff. Did find actual good evidence that sewermaster Al is a dragon in disguise. When the Headmaster suddenly calls Erick to congratulate him on the particle mage class, Al hides and frantically tries to make Erick not draw attention to him. Then Erick cracks a joke about Al being a dragon and the dude almost has a heart attack.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:18
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Wittgen posted:I'm rereading Ar'Kendrithyst. It's fun seeing the disparity in power and a lot of stuff that makes more sense with more knowledge of the world. Also, quiet war poo poo hasn't come up in a long while, but god everyone who participates in that is so infuriating. Good stuff. I still think it's actually Al's wife or whatever that's the dragon but yeah, good point- none of that scene made any sense until we get more context on the Curse and dragon culture, which isn't complete for like loving 3 books lol Also it's hard to remember with only one chapter a week but according to Royal Road, Arcs has written almost 9000 pages in about 2 years.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:24
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Al could also be the mom, but polymorphed into Al's form. Regardless, we haven't checked back in with that crazy necromancer in a while. Feels like some of the hanging dragon plot threads are going to meet with some of the hanging soul magic plot threads down the line, and Als mysterious family situation is primed to be at the center of it.
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Jan 14, 2022 01:39
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There are legitimate takes on magic schools that isn't Harry Potter, far better ones even. And boarding schools aren't necessarily an English thing--depending on the situation, you might see people staying in dorms. For example, the school for the deaf I went to had dorms because students would come from afar to attend since there aren't that many deaf schools. Mind, a decent number of students, me included, who lived near enough commuted to school. Really, magic schools work like any trope; there are authors who just ape what other authors are doing without really thinking about it, and there are authors who actually consider how they use the trope.
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Jan 14, 2022 04:21
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It's cool and good when authors include things because they have something interesting to say about them, but I'm imagining the opposite where you very crudely graft a setting divorced from your narratives thesis and just leave it chilling bewilderingly in the background. Yup, all these children are going to school on the moon. Nope, this is never relevant narratively or thematically. Like that owns.
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Jan 14, 2022 05:37
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One of my favourite things about watching mediocre Disney shows is the moment when some sort of exec has come in and left a note like "hey, this show would probably make more money if their was a school", and so suddenly all of the characters who were previously living the medieval peasant life are sitting in a room listening to some guy in his 40's. Give me that unintentional narrative dissonance.
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Jan 14, 2022 05:44
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You'd like Warriors Into The Wild by Erin Hunter then (it's tradpub write by numbers)
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Jan 14, 2022 16:30
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Jazerus posted:hmm well in that case i would be happy to annotate the four current chapters to point out what seems strange to me. i'll pm you a google doc in the next day or two with my thoughts. i can't be your editor long term but i do like the concept a lot so it would be nice to see it succeed. I appreciate any help you are willing to give!
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Jan 14, 2022 18:34
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War Queen book 2 chapter 1 I love the introduction of the new warrior/drone cast. They definitely fit against the new enemy with squishy bodies and iirc a drone got into one of the vehicles in a previous battle and was able to slaughter the crew inside. Change to new ideas that don't fit the previous mold is hard for the colony and neat to see how practical demonstrations change their views. Hope we eventually see some Ender's Game strategies with mini drones riding armored soldiers and wielding scavenged lancers or projectile weapons.
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Jan 15, 2022 07:01
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TUTBAD 68quote:“You’re third elevation,” said Alfric. “I checked with the censusmaster yesterday.”
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Jan 15, 2022 23:21
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As soon as I read that line I already knew he was deadly serious.
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Jan 15, 2022 23:32
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This is a pretty sweet VRMMO story.Data Dragon Danika posted:Hati sniffed and quoted the old adage, "Oh well, sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." Cicero posted:TUTBAD 68
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Jan 16, 2022 06:50
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I have a novel I've written, revised, then completely re-written for Nanowrimo 2021 and am now considering uploading as a webnovel. To better understand how I should go about myself, I've started reading Web Serials, and I have to say that Into the Mire is marvelous. I'm really jealous of Anamolous' prose. It's really rhythmic and effortlessly feeds my mental pictures of what's happening in any given scene.
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Jan 18, 2022 04:52
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Heh, TWI. “We keep—or rather, Cognita keeps—the really dangerous ones far out of sight. Too many accidents.” “Accidents?” Telim’s head turned. The man whispered to Trey. “If you’re a drunk [Mage] who walks into a room and sees one of these staring down at you in the middle of the night? Believe me, you’re going to need a new set of robes.”
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Jan 19, 2022 09:23
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Excellent Prac Guide chapter, because it highlights the true heroes of the story: the Republic of Bellerophon. Cannot wait for the Dead King to get guillotined by the newly-formed Committee for Hellish Serenity.
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Jan 19, 2022 17:42
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Smiling Knight posted:Excellent Prac Guide chapter, because it highlights the true heroes of the story: the Republic of Bellerophon. Cannot wait for the Dead King to get guillotined by the newly-formed Committee for Hellish Serenity. Bellerophon is awesome lol. At first I thought they were some kind of bizarre degenerated dictatorship, but once you learn that, yeah, it's kind of hosed up and brutal, but it's that way because all of them truly do want it to be that way, it wraps around to being awesome. They're my favorite besides the Callowans.
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Jan 20, 2022 07:53
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