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- walk up to pilots and ask "where's your mother?" - drink Vaseline - teach a clown how to hawk - fungible tokens
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:28 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:39 |
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Give and receive sexual favors in the restrooms.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:29 |
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Find the bar and drink
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:31 |
Talk staff into letting me through security/onto a plane without a ticket so I can propose to a passenger
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:34 |
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- keep sexy in a very small sauce. jam it sideways.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:35 |
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Leave bags unattended.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:36 |
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Straight-up disrespecting the toilets at ORD
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:37 |
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Get on an airplane and fly to a foreign land
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:40 |
Ambush strangers at the airport bar with my business card; trap them with stories about my business making costume jewelry for reborn dolls; show them many photos of reborn dolls and insist that the jewelry is not for babies--it is for reborn dolls.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:41 |
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Smuggle weapons through security
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:47 |
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Get cavity searched by security in front of your loved one and then propose when they pull the ring out of your butt
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:49 |
Ask the person sitting next to me on the plane if they think "they" knew there was cadmium in that costume jewelry when they let their baby wear it
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:50 |
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Run on the moving walkway and imagine you've got super human speed.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:53 |
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Walk against the direction of the moving walkway and get in people's way
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:54 |
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:55 |
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i like to stand in lines and then make a big show of having forgotten something and run off
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 03:57 |
Carefully unzip my carry-on bag; inside is a plastic grocery bag filled with warm pasghetti and meatballs tied closed with a simple knot.. I return the carry-on bag to the overhead compartment and sit back down and proceed to eat the warm pasta and meat balls on my fold-out tray.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:04 |
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'accidentally' drop a bouncy ball in security
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:06 |
"Do you think a person should go to jail for unwittingly poisoning babies with costume jewelry? No, right?"
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:07 |
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Take a rapid antigen test in the waiting area shortly before people start boarding. Look at the results in horror and start nervously looking around at the other passengers. Occasionally wipe your brow with a towel.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:09 |
I unsnap the latches on the Pelican case; the seal wheezes as it is broken. Inside: A 2.1 speaker system, 99.9 WHr battery & power adapter, and complete Nintendo Virtual Boy. I set up the Virtual Boy like an assassin assembles a rifle. I pack my face into the eyeshade. The game? Waterworld. I scream and scream as I absolutely wreck Smokers in Waterworld from the window seat.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:28 |
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miss your flight out of bangkok by 12 hours because you thought 01:20 meant 1:20 PM thank the lord that you get put on the next flight for no extra charge, so take the train back to the party zone but this time make sure to catch your flight properly, and totally drunk at 1:20 AM then go into a coma for 6 hours in the beijing airport on a layover because you just spent a month partying in thailand
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:41 |
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Arrive dressed as an Amish person and constantly look around in a mixture of fear, doubt, and self-loathing for what you must endure.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:46 |
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buy one John grisham book, one newspaper, two granola bars and two bottles of water.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:49 |
Have my passport deemed "invalid", forbidding me from entering the host country or even turning around to fly back home. Proceed to camp out at the airport's transit lounge, where I make enemies with the acting field commissioner who makes it his personal mission to kick me out of the airport and make me someone else's problem--he tries tricking me into invoking asylum, he sets up traps to capture me, he discovers my fear of snakes and sets hordes loose throughout the building. The commissioner's various antics fail and, in the process, I endear myself with the local staff who take me as their champion. For years I live at the airport; I take a flight attendant as a wife and we make love under the roof of the airport--we have several children, and we name them Icarus and Daedalus, after Deus Ex (my favorite game).
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:56 |
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enjoy watching the planes making sweet love to each other on the runway
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 04:56 |
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Cum as I'm being searched in security. I'm not even being touched. I'm not even at the airport.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:00 |
The Fattest PI posted:Cum as I'm being searched in security. I'm not even being touched. I'm not even at the airport. I'm racking my brain for other places where security might search you and the only things I'm coming up with are schools and Wal-Marts in high-risk neighborhoods. Which one of those is it?
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:02 |
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Wear a fake beard and an Hawaiian shirt while a beautiful woman chases me to permanently warp my younger self's sense of style.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:04 |
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drop your suitcase on the ground so it busts open and reveals nothing but your dozens of copies of the Koran
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:07 |
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Put a jar of Tiger Balm in your pocket and then run through security screaming "I have a balm! Everybody be cool! I have a balm!"
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:10 |
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“If someone put something in my bag without my knowledge, how would I know?” I ask the TSA Agent before getting selected for a “random” additional screening
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:11 |
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Put "Out of Order" signs on all the stalls in the bathroom but the handicap stall.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:14 |
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:I'm racking my brain for other places where security might search you and the only things I'm coming up with are schools and Wal-Marts in high-risk neighborhoods. Which one of those is it? im just tryin to cum dude lay off
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:16 |
Hang out in the airplane bathroom with the door unlocked and the first person to barge in on me gets my business card and a great opportunity to get in on the "ground floor" of my NFT collection.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:21 |
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Ask any man in his 30s: "Is this your first time on a plane?"
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:25 |
Ask any child: "Have you ever seen a plane crash?"
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:27 |
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Jose Oquendo posted:Give and receive sexual favors in the restrooms. Bonus points if the guy who snorts adderall of your cock ends up being your pilot.
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:29 |
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Wander around boring everyone with my inane observations like "this coke isn't very fizzy anymore" or "these matches don't ignite" or "I think my watch running slow?"
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:37 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 14:39 |
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Draw butts on things in a magazine It's good fun
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# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:38 |