Idiots on Social Media: If cum was garlic sauce I'd give way more blowjobs.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Idiots on Social Media: If cum was garlic sauce I'd give way more blowjobs.

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ishikabibble: Jan 21, 2012

teethgrinder posted:

This guy has already been thoroughly dunked on, but worth noting

https://twitter.com/J_Schneider/status/1490416476569968643

At the risk of making myself the IOSM

:confused:

I get the dunking from women who use it as a non-confrontational way to get guys to leave them alone but like... Is reading a book by yourself in a bar that common?? Maybe I've just been to the wrong bars, but every one I've been in is generally loud and has intensely uncomfortable seating. I can't imagine that being a place someone would actively go to just to read at, overpriced booze or no.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:07

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 15:22

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Baron von Eevl posted:

I have no idea what red leader is trying to say here. Luke was not born on Tatooine and therefore shouldn't care about Tatooine, but then their example is that they don't care about where they were born? Like... Luke shouldn't care about x because I don't care about something that isn't at all x?

The newest star wars tv show takes place on Tatooine and fans are arguing about whether Luke would or should help the characters solve a problem there.
Rather than arguing plot convience or say that it's difficult to film more stuff with an actor who has rudely decided to age 40 years since the original movies, red is arguing a weird libertarian "That sounds like a problem for people who still live on Tattoine"

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:10

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

ishikabibble posted:

At the risk of making myself the IOSM

I get the dunking from women who use it as a non-confrontational way to get guys to leave them alone but like... Is reading a book by yourself in a bar that common?? Maybe I've just been to the wrong bars, but every one I've been in is generally loud and has intensely uncomfortable seating. I can't imagine that being a place someone would actively go to just to read at, overpriced booze or no.

I've done it, I've seen others do it, a good friend of mine would always be reading their Kindle unless there was a decent conversation happening. There's a pretty obvious difference between "people reading a book in a bar" and "people flexing a book in a bar".

Reading Pratchett: probably a cool person
Reading Wallace: probably a garbage person

The biggest issue with physical books in bars is that the lighting usually sucks.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:26

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

Coolness Averted posted:

"Big announcement about the Queen coming up!" while she hadn't been seen in months really made it seem like that, yeah.

The actual announcement ended up being some really weird poo poo like "The Queen is moving into a new phase" or something.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:29

teethgrinder: Oct 9, 2002

ishikabibble posted:

At the risk of making myself the IOSM

I get the dunking from women who use it as a non-confrontational way to get guys to leave them alone but like... Is reading a book by yourself in a bar that common?? Maybe I've just been to the wrong bars, but every one I've been in is generally loud and has intensely uncomfortable seating. I can't imagine that being a place someone would actively go to just to read at, overpriced booze or no.

At the risk of being nitpicky or confusing, it's probably more "pub" than "bar", and yes it's totally normal for people to sit and read and have a pint. Most pubs around me this is totally normal. Some people even work from laptops. They often even have fireplaces with comfy seating that are like geared for this.

Bartenders don't give a gently caress because they're easy customers that just want a refill sporadically and to otherwise be left alone.

For me it was my personal hump day routine ... get away from the office and read a good book uninterrupted with a couple of pints every Wednesday.

But yeah, I've seen people sit at the bar and read at noisy bars too during evenings. I assume they just want to get away from something, or be "out" rather than alone at home. Not my problem. And speaking as a former bartender ... never ever was one a bad guest.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:30

Baron von Eevl: Jan 24, 2005; WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR
🔊😴

Coolness Averted posted:

The newest star wars tv show takes place on Tatooine and fans are arguing about whether Luke would or should help the characters solve a problem there.
Rather than arguing plot convience or say that it's difficult to film more stuff with an actor who has rudely decided to age 40 years since the original movies, red is arguing a weird libertarian "That sounds like a problem for people who still live on Tattoine"

Then why does he go through all the trouble to talk about where people were born, that's not relevant to "Luke don't live there now" goddamnit this is just the stupidest.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:39

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Baron von Eevl posted:

Then why does he go through all the trouble to talk about where people were born, that's not relevant to "Luke don't live there now" goddamnit this is just the stupidest.

Yeah, it's dumb and goes beyond other weird nerd slap fights. This isn't even heavily nested or anything out of context just a publicly posted meme that said "Tattoine is in lovely condition and the TV show's big conflict is because of a power vacuum from when Luke killed the crime boss running the place."
Red decided to jump in and say "He wasn't really born there, and technically didn't even kill Jabba the Hutt himself, so that's <show protagonist>'s problem he chose to get involved with."

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:47

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

GEORGE W BUSHI posted:

The actual announcement ended up being some really weird poo poo like "The Queen is moving into a new phase" or something.

Yeah it was "The Queen has entered a new phase" and "we may not see her until February", which is exactly the mixture of vague and specific that sounds like huge morons trying to keep a secret. Also it sounded like she was moulting.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:49

Cleretic: Feb 3, 2010; Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

The Queen's gonna turn up played by a different actor.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:51

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

The Queen has emerged from her chrysalis and consumed Boris Johnson.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:51

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

teethgrinder posted:

And speaking as a former bartender ... never ever was one a bad guest.

I can also attest to this. Except for that one guy that brought Infinite Jest

Palahniuk is also a red flag but I'll cop to reading part of Rant in a bar (because that's where it was lent to me)

stringless has a new favorite as of 04:54 on Feb 8, 2022

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:52

Coolness Averted: Feb 20, 2007; oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Cleretic posted:

The Queen's gonna turn up played by a different actor.

This is bullshit, monarchy lore very clearly established she doesn't have any more regenerations.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:53

kazil: Jul 24, 2005; A fancy little mouse🐁!

Cleretic posted:

The Queen's gonna turn up played by a different actor.

Idris Elba please

# ? Feb 8, 2022 04:53

Hollandia: Jul 27, 2007; rattus rattus; Grimey Drawer

GEORGE W BUSHI posted:

The actual announcement ended up being some really weird poo poo like "The Queen is moving into a new phase" or something.

The Queen has just dropped an exclusive limited range of NFTs, get in now to

# ? Feb 8, 2022 05:13

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

teethgrinder posted:

This guy has already been thoroughly dunked on, but worth noting

https://twitter.com/J_Schneider/status/1490416476569968643

When I worked evenings I would sometimes bring a book to the bar because I can't go to bed right after work and about half the time an attractive woman would start talking to me unprompted. Never lead to anything, but still.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 05:47

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

For about 18 months, my girlfriend and I finished our shifts 90 minutes apart. So I read all The Lord if the Rings at a local dive bar while waiting for her.

After a few weeks, I was on first name terms with the bar staff and bouncer, and if any of the drunks hosed up their drink order, they usually gave it to me for free.

I think they were just happy to have a regular who wasn�t a noisy idiot.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 05:59

Mak0rz: Aug 2, 2008; 😎🐗🚬

# ? Feb 8, 2022 06:59

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

teethgrinder posted:

At the risk of being nitpicky or confusing, it's probably more "pub" than "bar", and yes it's totally normal for people to sit and read and have a pint. Most pubs around me this is totally normal. Some people even work from laptops. They often even have fireplaces with comfy seating that are like geared for this.

Bartenders don't give a gently caress because they're easy customers that just want a refill sporadically and to otherwise be left alone.

For me it was my personal hump day routine ... get away from the office and read a good book uninterrupted with a couple of pints every Wednesday.

But yeah, I've seen people sit at the bar and read at noisy bars too during evenings. I assume they just want to get away from something, or be "out" rather than alone at home. Not my problem. And speaking as a former bartender ... never ever was one a bad guest.

Not a book per se, but something that is awesome to do is to bring the newspaper to the pub on a sunny Sunday afternoon and read it in the beer garden over a couple of pints, and a counter lunch.

A very civilized way to enjoy day-drinking by oneself.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:02

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Distorted Kiwi posted:

I think they were just happy to have a regular who wasn’t a noisy idiot.

From experience, 100% yes.

And bringing a newspaper is also cool because doing the crosswords can be a fun social activity

Hell when I was running an after hours I had a standing bet over chess when it wasn't too busy: you win I'll buy you a shot, I win you buy yourself a shot

stringless has a new favorite as of 07:17 on Feb 8, 2022

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:14

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:16

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

Sound like he was living his best life.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:18

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

I think it's got traction.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:18

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

The only problem with him is he always tried to pay with a check.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:29

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

King poo poo

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:34

Silly Newbie: Jul 25, 2007; How do I?

I've spent a lot of time reading in bars/pubs/breweries.
Sometimes it's nice to do something you enjoy while paying someone to bring you beer, and jumping into conversations briefly if anything interesting happens.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:43

teethgrinder: Oct 9, 2002

BrigadierSensible posted:

Not a book per se, but something that is awesome to do is to bring the newspaper to the pub on a sunny Sunday afternoon and read it in the beer garden over a couple of pints, and a counter lunch.

A very civilized way to enjoy day-drinking by oneself.

For me, the civilized part was limiting the day-drinking to one hour a week.

(I keep saying "was" because this is not a COVID routine.)

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:44

sugar mouse: Oct 17, 2006

BrigadierSensible posted:

Not a book per se, but something that is awesome to do is to bring the newspaper to the pub on a sunny Sunday afternoon and read it in the beer garden over a couple of pints, and a counter lunch.

A very civilized way to enjoy day-drinking by oneself.

This is absolutely mine and my partner's favourite way to spend an afternoon or evening. Nice pub, newspapers, doing some crosswords and enjoying the silence. Could be more of a British thing? I can't think of anything worse than a place that describes itself as a bar.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 07:46

teethgrinder: Oct 9, 2002

sugar mouse posted:

This is absolutely mine and my partner's favourite way to spend an afternoon or evening. Nice pub, newspapers, doing some crosswords and enjoying the silence. Could be more of a British thing? I can't think of anything worse than a place that describes itself as a bar.

If you ever visit Toronto for some reason, drop in the Toronto LAN thread and let me/us recommend a few places that I suspect would be your style.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 08:06

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Push El Burrito posted:

The Queen has emerged from her chrysalis and consumed Boris Johnson.

I'll be damned, the monarchy's good for something after all.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 08:11

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Distorted Kiwi posted:

Sound like he was living his best life.

I will have to restrict my dunking on him in future to the topic of his regressive attitude towards women's reproductive rights, in that case.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 08:15

lobsterminator: Oct 16, 2012

ishikabibble posted:

At the risk of making myself the IOSM

I get the dunking from women who use it as a non-confrontational way to get guys to leave them alone but like... Is reading a book by yourself in a bar that common?? Maybe I've just been to the wrong bars, but every one I've been in is generally loud and has intensely uncomfortable seating. I can't imagine that being a place someone would actively go to just to read at, overpriced booze or no.

During the summer an outdoor beer garden is the best place for me to get reading done. I like to have a table to lean on when I read which means random park benches etc are not as comfy reading spots.

And even with indoor bars if you go to a more pub style place that has no music or quiet music it can be good. Just as good as a quiet cafe.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 08:41

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

If anything it feels like the idea that the only acceptable reason to go to a bar is to drink excessively and socialise loudly is the new and intrusive thing. People have been hanging out quietly at bars, restaurants and coffee shops enjoying ambient socialisation and fresh air forever.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 09:18

TinTower: Apr 21, 2010; You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

It�s everyone�s fault but the drivers if they get angry and start to endanger other people with their heavy machinery.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 09:42

Serperoth: Feb 21, 2013

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

Absolute king right there.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 10:35

grittyreboot: Oct 2, 2012

RE Boba Fett: Did I miss some line of dialogue from the last episode? I don't think the show indicated that Luke was even aware of the crime war on Tatooine, much less that he wanted to take part in it.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 12:56

Cleretic: Feb 3, 2010; Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

Breetai posted:

Could we get a tread consensus on my brother who would drive in to a mid-tier Italian restaurant in the city centre on a Friday or Saturday night, sit down and order a meal, take out his pocket chess set and a book of grand master games which he he would then play by himself until he finished eating, then head back home.

Your brother is definitely a main character in a crime drama, I just can't tell if he's the hero or the killer.

# ? Feb 8, 2022 13:09

grittyreboot: Oct 2, 2012

Cleretic posted:

Your brother is definitely a main character in a crime drama, I just can't tell if he's the hero or the killer.

The big twist is he's both

# ? Feb 8, 2022 13:10

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

*police break down the door in the final scene*

*brother sitting motionless at the bar tips over a single solitary pawn*

# ? Feb 8, 2022 13:11

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Data Graham posted:

Padme: "Maclunkey" *dies, twins are born*

# ? Feb 8, 2022 13:18

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 15:22

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

Mak0rz posted:

lmao

# ? Feb 8, 2022 13:26

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