r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for refusing to pay for my husband and his family's meals at the restaurant?

quote:

Title sound bad I know but I'll let you decide who's in the wrong.

To begin, My husband and I don't share finances, it's been like this for the 3 years of our marriage and so far we've been doing well, though he'd sometimes try to get me to pay for him but I do it only when I want to do a nice thing for him, say invite him to a restaurant.

This past week, he got a bonus at work, he was overjoyed he informed his entire family and planned for them to go out and celebrate with us. He picked the restaurant, meals, drinks etc, I naturally thought he was going to pay for all that since, it's his happy celebration. But it turns out I was wrong because when it was time to pay the bill, he told me to "take care of it" I said why? It's his celebration not mine but he insisted I pay and he'll explain later. I refused and demanded an explanation, he said that while yes he is the one who got bonus, but he assumed I'd want to celebrate that and offer to cover the bill. when I talked about how ridiculous it was of him to assume I'd pay for not just his, but his family's meals he said that I should be happy for him instead of being visibly bitter. He then said he's yet to receive his bonus and begged that I take care of the bill now and he "might" consider paying me back later. I refused and only paid for what I consumed. Him and his family started talking about how inappropriate I was acting, I took my purse and went home afterwards cause there was so much commotion when they started arguing who's going to cover the bill.

His mom spam called me for hours, and he went off on me at home saying I spoiled his celebration and joy because I'm feeling bitter, especially considering I had enough money to cover the bill right there and then. I said this wasn't my obligation and he was the one who came up with the celebration idea. He argued that if the roles were reversed and I got a bonus, he'd celebrate me and my achievements and pay for the "drat" meals after taking me and my family out. I casually said "well, that's just you not me". He got even more pissed and said that he had had it with my juvenile antics and that he won't ever forget the scene I made at the restaurant infront of his family. Been upset with me for days now.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:09

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:42

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my husband and his family's meals at the restaurant?

I hope these two stay together

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:14

Car Hater: May 7, 2007; wolf. bike.
Wolf. Bike.
Wolf! Bike!
WolfBike!
WolfBike!
ARROOOOOO!

*square dancing at the piercing hall*

It's a gooch broochin' boogie

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:21

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

hawowanlawow posted:

like Bradford pear trees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoqlYGuZGVM

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:21

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

^^^^ Is it Tuesday again?

Dr. Stab posted:

The question was about whether it was okay to wear a retainer while the jewelry was out so the piercing wouldn't close.

Yes, but knowing what the retainer was for helps from the perspective of reading the story.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:23

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for refusing to pay for my husband and his family's meals at the restaurant?

I get why some people have separate finances after getting married, just in terms of persinal security, but one shared account for stuff like this would nip so many problems in the bud

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:26

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

I [29] don't like the way my wife [26] dresses around my brother [22]

quote:

Five months ago my brother was laid off. He burned through his savings till he couldn't afford to pay his rent and was kicked out. I offered for him to move in with us since we had a spare guest room till he finds a job and gets his own place again. That was a month ago. He found a job last week but obviously it'll take a month or two before he has enough to move out.

My wife didn't have an issue with my brother moving in. They didn't really know each other that well. But after my brother moved in they were arguing constantly, it was dumb stuff like my wife drinking his almond milk, my brother not buying toilet paper etc etc.

My main issue is that my wife always dresses down around the house, she'll usually wear shorts and a t-shirt without a bra or she'll wear just her shorts and no bra if she's walking to the bathroom etc. Stuff that makes her comfortable. I asked her when he moved in if for the time being she could cover up because I wasn't alright with her walking around him like that. And she did for about a week before she started dressing like she did before.

We got into a few fights about that. She doesn't see an issue with the way she dresses. I told her I didn't want her to walk around topless or even in just her underwear around him. But she says I'm overreacting and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I honestly don't know anymore if I'm overreacting or not.

[UPDATE] I (29) don't like the way my wife (26) dresses around my brother (22)

quote:

I don't know if this is worth updating or if anyone really cares but I thought I will anyway.

My original post seemed to trigger a lot of people. I've also received some good advice both in private and comments. I've had a chat with my wife about her clothing choices, or rather lack of clothing. She told me that yes she is wearing nothing because she's comfortable that way, that's part of it. But she admitted she enjoyed the attention/looks she was getting from my brother. I guess it's a form of exhibitionism? I don't really know. We agreed that we'll let my brother stay with us till he has enough saved to move out but I will ask him to be a better guest. And I told her that even though I don't really like the fact she's showing off to my brother I'm willing to accept it as long as she doesn't cross the line into affair or something of that nature which she assured me she never would. I'm not particularly happy about it, but like many people said it's also her house and she has every right to do it. I've also asked my brother if seeing my wife that way makes him uncomfortable and he told me he didn't mind. So again, thanks to everyone that gave advice, it was really helpful.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:26

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

welcome to hell posted:

I [29] don't like the way my wife [26] dresses around my brother [22]

[UPDATE] I (29) don't like the way my wife (26) dresses around my brother (22)

Dude, welcome to hell indeed. That guy is a moron and wife and bro are definitely heading on down to Bonetown

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:31

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Shes had enough of the old bull and now she wants a taste of the young calf

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:34

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Kuiperdolin posted:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew

This works cuz we have a standing agreement with bacteria that they're not allowed to multiply unless the temperature dips below 100F.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:40

Dr. Stab: Sep 12, 2010; 👨🏻‍⚕️🩺🔪🙀😱🙀

Megillah Gorilla posted:

^^^^ Is it Tuesday again?

Yes, but knowing what the retainer was for helps from the perspective of reading the story.

I meant that in response to your question at the end of the post. The problem wasn't whether it was okay to put back afterwards, but whether a retainer could be worn in the interim. It's not totally clear whether "jewlery should be taken out" means you can wear a retainer or not.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:40

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I get why some people have separate finances after getting married, just in terms of persinal security, but one shared account for stuff like this would nip so many problems in the bud

I don't know why he'd plan a whole thing before having the money first, what if it's a subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club?

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:50

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

Wife says Ashley Madison profile is just for joke

quote:

I am shaken right now, I dont know what to do right now. She says it was just a drunken joke her friends played on her but its a website especially for cheaters, right? Why would you make a profile there? I was so upset that I asked her to delete it immediately which I now regret. Can this be a joke really or am I just being too optimistic?

Oof, shouldn't have made her delete it so fast

# ? Mar 10, 2022 15:53

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

welcome to hell posted:

I [29] don't like the way my wife [26] dresses around my brother [22]

[UPDATE] I (29) don't like the way my wife (26) dresses around my brother (22)

drat I thought he was a jealous weirdo until the update

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:02

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

That nurse should not be a nurse too wtf. Entirely reasonable question

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:06

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Soylent Pudding posted:

Porn Divorce in the USA!

Sorry "gooch brooch" but Porn Divorce in the USA will be my invasive thought phrase of the day.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:24

Best Bi Geek Squid: Mar 25, 2016

gooch brooch riot

riot

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:33

kdrudy: Sep 19, 2009

Best Bi Geek Squid posted:

gooch brooch riot

riot

I'm happy I'm not the only person whose brain did this.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:37

Brandfarlig: Nov 5, 2009; These colours don't run.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

anti-intellectualism is the norm in the western world

Do you have an example of a country that isn't?

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:39

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Dr. Stab posted:

I meant that in response to your question at the end of the post. The problem wasn't whether it was okay to put back afterwards, but whether a retainer could be worn in the interim. It's not totally clear whether "jewlery should be taken out" means you can wear a retainer or not.

Not an obgyn myself, healthcare adjacent just to be transparent, but if the nurse actually did check the protocol, it would most likely say something along the lines of "remove all jewelry"; medical protocols, in my experience, try to be as vague as possible due to situations exactly like this

That's a lovely nurse though, for sure, but she did most likely did not need to call an attending for that question initially (if the nurse wasn't lovely, which she was)

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:41

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA for NOT mooching?

quote:

I (31F) and partner (36F) are planning a trip to Iceland. I make 17k more annually than she does but have significantly less in savings. She wants to use her accumulated award points to partially pay for both of our flight tickets in order to ease the financial burden on me (us). Basically knocking off more than $1K per ticket.

I do not think this is a fair use of her resources, and am insistent on paying full price. Because she has more savings than me, we anticipate future rap battles over big purchases like a house. I think since there is a possibility she could contribute more for large purchases, it isn’t setting good precedent for her to subsidize my travel costs now.

We have been fighting about this (good naturedly…) for several days. Help us come to a conclusion. Am I The rear end in a top hat for refusing to accept her flight award points?

I don't really get their aversion to using up reward points, which are much different than spending actual money. But mostly I just wanted to express my support for more domestic disagreements being solved via rap battle

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:41

Kuiperdolin: Sep 5, 2011; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

kimbo305 posted:

This works cuz we have a standing agreement with bacteria that they're not allowed to multiply unless the temperature dips below 100F.

Like Speed but with soup temperature instead of bus speed.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:41

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Johnny Truant posted:

Not an obgyn myself, healthcare adjacent just to be transparent, but if the nurse actually did check the protocol, it would most likely say something along the lines of "remove all jewelry"; medical protocols, in my experience, try to be as vague as possible due to situations exactly like this

That's a lovely nurse though, for sure, but she did not need to call an attending for that question initially (if the nurse wasn't lovely, which she was)

It�s entirely reasonable to put a note in for at least one of the interns to come around eventually to check since the protocols were somewhat vague.

Also if that was my nurse I�d want the doctor because I don�t trust a OBGYN nurse with weird hang ups even ignoring how insanely unprofessional she is.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:44

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

It�s entirely reasonable to put a note in for at least one of the interns to come around eventually to check since the protocols were somewhat vague.

Also if that was my nurse I�d want the doctor because I don�t trust a OBGYN nurse with weird hang ups even ignoring how insanely unprofessional she is.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:45

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

StrangersInTheNight posted:

After reading up how quickly certain food becomes rotten and unsafe when left out at room temperature because I was being a knucklehead about it and my partner chided me, that soup was not safe. Especially if it was still warm/hot, that just makes it worse not safer.

Even if you think the two-hour rule is too conservative, overnight and warm is loving foul.

Like, she might have some OCD or something but she wasn't wrong about the soup, he's going to kill himself doing that poo poo.

Everyone who makes soup or stock should have a chilling paddle: https://www.webstaurantstore.com/3071/cooling-paddles.html

You can get things out of the "danger zone" temp quickly and not heat up your whole fridge putting away way too hot stuff. Leaving fish on the stove overnight is just next level disgusting.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:46

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for NOT mooching?

I don't really get their aversion to using up reward points, which are much different than spending actual money. But mostly I just wanted to express my support for more domestic disagreements being solved via rap battle

Picturing their domestic life like �Amish Paradise� but without the Amish part

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:47

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Motronic posted:

not heat up your whole fridge putting away way too hot stuff.

gently caress me i never thought of this

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:47

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for calling my autistic wife a �neurotic psycho�?

If I had to live with this woman, she'd have to See/Touch/Smell my brains on the loving wall to confirm I'd killed myself rather than live with her. But he chose to marry her and get her pregnant, so gently caress him.

massive spider posted:

I mean evidence that the wife is the crazy one:

OP is an untrustworthy doofus, so I really doubt that Science Wife is going around with a spray bottle in a holster, constantly hosing down doorknobs like in the Microban commercial.

Soylent Pudding posted:

Porn Divorce in the USA!

Sung to the tune of "I'm So Bored With The USA"

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 16:55 on Mar 10, 2022

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:52

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I get why some people have separate finances after getting married, just in terms of persinal security, but one shared account for stuff like this would nip so many problems in the bud

We have pretty regularly gotten stories about fighting over what came out of the shared account. So no, it really doesn't.

There are no technical or organizational solutions to interpersonal problems/cheap shitheads.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:55

Soul Dentist: Mar 17, 2009

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA for NOT mooching?
future rap battles

I can't tell if I love or hate this phrasing for arguments

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:56

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

I leave chili in the slow cooker until its all eaten. I just turn it to high and boil it for a few minutes and add some beer/water/stock.

Unrelated, I can't stop making GBS threads help me.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:57

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Serephina posted:

I mean it'd be great to have a Ob/Gyn person weigh in on this, but I'm pretty sure such ~~tit&tat~~ err, minor questions are better fielded by the midwife. They're perfectly experienced with all the normal birthing stuff and doctors are often stretched thin, which was the nurse's poorly expressed point.

Not everyone has access to a midwife and gatekeeping questions like this no matter how "minor" they seem is really really lovely and makes people afraid to ask questions that might be more serious/lead to serious complications if not addressed . She has every right to request her nurse ask the doctor that and to say otherwise is completely incorrect

# ? Mar 10, 2022 16:58

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

Motronic posted:

Everyone who makes soup or stock should have a chilling paddle: https://www.webstaurantstore.com/3071/cooling-paddles.html

You can get things out of the "danger zone" temp quickly and not heat up your whole fridge putting away way too hot stuff. Leaving fish on the stove overnight is just next level disgusting.

This is cool

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:06

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yeah, I agree that maybe that question may not be worth pulling a doctor off their rotation, but only if the patient has a way of asking non-urgent questions and getting a timely answer. (My health system has an Ask A Nurse/Ask A Doctor thing you can use to ask questions like this.)

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:08

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

also putting hot things in the fridge is not going to do much, especially compared to leaving it out. besides making your fridge work harder

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:10

Electro-Boogie Jack: Nov 22, 2006; bagger mcguirk sent me.

Motronic posted:

Leaving fish on the stove overnight is just next level disgusting.

Fish, of all things; it's just fuckin' waiting to betray you. Scheming on the stove all night, dreaming up new ways to give you the crazy shits.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:25

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Can't post for 19 hours!

Halloween Jack posted:

If I had to live with this woman, she'd have to See/Touch/Smell my brains on the loving wall to confirm I'd killed myself rather than live with her. But he chose to marry her and get her pregnant, so gently caress him.

kinda fuckin yikes dawg

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:29

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Yeah fish will gently caress you up in the best of times, I'd never eat fish that was left out.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:30

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I have these tiles that you put in the freezer and I put them over the meal prep containers when I put them into the fridge to reduce the power load/heat contamination.

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:30

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:42

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for claiming that my SIL's dressing inappropriately?

quote:

My SIL is my younger brother's fianc�e and soon to be wife. Both her and my brother are 26. I met her when she was 18 when she first started dating him and we had a pretty good relationship. Since then she's been wearing lots of revealing outfits. At first I wouldn't comment on it but as my brother's relationship with her got serious, my parents and I believed we should tell my brother to tell her to dress more appropriately. Whenever we'd bring it up to my brother he'd get mad and told us to mind our business. Once they got engaged we believed that finally she'd be more serious and look out for her image as she's supposed to be a wife soon enough and later a mother. We were wrong. She didn't only not start dressing more appropriately but she got worse. Whenever we'd bring it up to my brother he'd tell us we can't police what she wears but he wouldn't understand how it's just disrespectful of her.

To be honest she didn't dress in reveling outfits in family gatherings like Xmas or thanksgiving. But she'd wear those outfits on her bday or my brother's bday or whenever they'd hang out alone or with friends.

My brother's bday was last week and we were invited to his party. Before that my parents and I agreed that if she's dressed inappropriately again I'll call her out because my brother is spineless and won't ever do that. As always she was dressed inappropriately. She wore some skintight pants and a crop top that looked like a bra. I took her aside and told her that she should start behaving like a serious engaged woman because that's not a look a woman in a committed relationship should have, since its disrespectful towards my brother but also us. She cursed me out and then told my brother who also cursed me out and kicked me and our parents out of the party.

Friends and relatives who were there partly agreed with me and said that she's dressing inappropriately but that I also crossed the line and should keep my opinion to myself. My brothers friends on the other hand apparently all believe I am TA and that it's none of my business how SIL dresses.

AITA?

# ? Mar 10, 2022 17:32

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