PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Ah the glutenous cube, a formidable monster indeed.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 11:53

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

GluCu trending big right now

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:17

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

That block of mac and cheese would wreak Wolf 359 levels of devastation on my colon if I ate the whole thing.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:21

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

"Chili-cheese knots" from a local independent pizzeria.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:22

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

Cartoon Man posted:

I can hear this fucker.

It creaks.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:22

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

This reboot of Hellraiser is not what I expected.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:25

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

That block of mac and cheese would wreak Wolf 359 levels of devastation on my colon if I ate the whole thing.

There's no cheese in that block, it's plain elbow pasta that got tossed into a squared container for a while.

And it looks like it was overcooked before storage, too.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:25

DontMockMySmock: Aug 9, 2008; I got this title for the dumbest fucking possible take on sea shanties. Specifically, I derailed the meme thread because sailors in the 18th century weren't woke enough for me, and you shouldn't sing sea shanties. In fact, don't have any fun ever.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 19:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:17

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Haifisch posted:

Somehow that feels worse than all the dumb 1970s foods and things that look like the fresh vomit special

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:21

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

What in the loving blazes

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:21

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

Haifisch posted:

I love donuts and strawberry shortcake. I'd 100% eat that and loving love it.

Edit: no. Didn't realize it still had the steak on there :cry:

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:29

Kenning: Jan 11, 2009; I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.

Hirayuki posted:

"Chili-cheese knots" from a local independent pizzeria.

100% would, 100% would regret.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:41

Wasabi the J: Jan 23, 2008; MOM WAS RIGHT

SlothfulCobra posted:

Yeah, Thailand had a dictator that pulled an inverse of Mussolini trying to convert noodle-eating Italians to rice, except it actually worked. But also:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/paxadz/the-surprising-reason-that-there-are-so-many-thai-restaurants-in-america

That's about the ways in which Thailand worked to train and help fund people to set up Thai restaurants abroad, and even continually certify them for quality in the hopes of extending some kind of "soft power" by putting the idea of Thai in the minds of people around the world. And I think it has worked a fair amount. There's even two shows on the Disney channel right now about Thai-American families.

That also reminds me of another far east nation that somehow ended up adding noodles to their cuisine and now have started exporting it around: The Philippines. I'm not sure how, probably something from during the American occupation, but they picked up a taste for spaghetti, and that led to the rise of a Filipino fast food chain that serves spaghetti, Jollibee, which only has 60 locations in the US, but they bought up a number of other fast food franchises and are the biggest fast food company based in Asia. They also own Smashburger.

Anyways, fast food spaghetti just don't seem right.

McD's also has its own McSpaghetti that I think it developed at around the time it expanded into the Philippines in order to appeal to the locals.

IDGAF how many pages ago this was; when I was 10 I moved temporarily to the Philippines from south central Texas.

McDonald's was the first familiar food I had and I was heartbroken to find out that McDonald's spaghetti is the horrid Filipino spaghetti, which is already about as spaghetti as Skyline is chili. Filipino spaghetti is literally sweet and uses Vienna sausages, so you can imagine how McDonald's would improve matters by making it much sweeter.

I'm not thoroughly convinced it's not a prank food or maybe it triggers the same taste buds that make me hate KFC coleslaw.

The fried chicken is pretty good but Jollybee honestly had better for fast food, plus they had Kenny Rogers Chicken which was obviously supreme.

# ? Mar 19, 2022 20:49

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Pookah posted:

I can hear this fucker.

It creaks.

No, its that video of the dude flicking various fungi.

Haifisch posted:

I would, to the eternal shame of my wife and kids.

Why can't I wash the jam stains off my hands?

# ? Mar 20, 2022 05:41

RuBisCO: May 1, 2009; This is definitely not a lie

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/7075489764866100526

I can't tell if this is ironic or not but it still deeply hurt me.

RuBisCO has a new favorite as of 05:54 on Mar 20, 2022

# ? Mar 20, 2022 05:51

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

RuBisCO posted:

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/7075489764866100526

I can't tell if this is ironic or not but it still deeply hurt me.

She's fighting off a poo poo-eating grin while doing it so I would bet on it being ironic.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 06:32

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

Looks like granny used it as an ashtray.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 07:07

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

At least granny had the sense to put "pizza" in scare quotes.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 07:27

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

dog nougat posted:

Looks like granny used it as an ashtray.

I hate to say it, but if the cheese is mozzarella I would try it.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 07:37

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

Yeah, that looks loving delicious. Maybe without the Bisquick, that has a weird taste to me.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 09:06

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

The elusive singular biscuit and gravy.

# ? Mar 20, 2022 12:34

bawk: Mar 31, 2013

dog nougat posted:

Looks like granny used it as an ashtray.

Yeah this is a bad picture of that kind of pizza. There's a regional rural pizza chain in the midwest called Hangar54 that just attaches itself to local gas stations, it has a sausage-gravy-sauce breakfast pizza and it loving slaps

# ? Mar 20, 2022 14:30

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/i2YOMGs.mp4

# ? Mar 20, 2022 20:39

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

I am going to slyly jump in front of the machine so that after rotating the wheel of cheese it is crammed into my ~~piehole~~ cheesehole

Ror has a new favorite as of 20:58 on Mar 20, 2022

# ? Mar 20, 2022 20:50

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

I would down both of those and not give a single gently caress doing so.

But still, I present this to the thread for judgement.

# ? Mar 21, 2022 01:08

F_Shit_Fitzgerald: Feb 2, 2017

I'd probably hate myself afterwards but I 100% would.

# ? Mar 21, 2022 01:22

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

Maybe at 1/4 to 1/3 of that size. Those things look fuckoff huge.

# ? Mar 21, 2022 01:27

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

the donut cones remind me of the disney invention of the handwich, disney's revolutionary way to eat things with one hand.

# ? Mar 21, 2022 02:18

UwUnabomber: Sep 9, 2012; Pubes dreaded out so hoes call me Chris Barnes. I don't wear a condom at the pig farm.

F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:

I'd probably ~~hate~~ poo poo myself afterwards but I 100% would.

# ? Mar 21, 2022 02:39

TV Zombie: Sep 6, 2011; Burying all the trauma from past nights
Burying my anger in the past

What�s the purpose of rotating those cheeses?

# ? Mar 21, 2022 06:07

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Cartoon Man posted:

I would down both of those and not give a single gently caress doing so.

But still, I present this to the thread for judgement.

80% of my problem is with the syringes, 10% of it is with the fact that you'd need wet wipes to de-stickify your hands afterwards, and the other 10% is that it's double the size you could sensibly eat in one sitting. (and this is coming from a fatass)

# ? Mar 21, 2022 06:14

Schubalts: Nov 26, 2007; People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.

TV Zombie posted:

What’s the purpose of rotating those cheeses?

Balances the amount of time the flat sides are exposed to the air, and to keep internal liquid from settling in one spot too long while aging.

Schubalts has a new favorite as of 09:10 on Mar 21, 2022

# ? Mar 21, 2022 09:08

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Haifisch posted:

80% of my problem is with the syringes, 10% of it is with the fact that you'd need wet wipes to de-stickify your hands afterwards, and the other 10% is that it's double the size you could sensibly eat in one sitting. (and this is coming from a fatass)

I know these types of foods exist solely for novelty and ~the aesthetic~ but, for real, what's wrong with a donut served on a plate with a scoop of ice cream and some topping? Have we really strayed so far from God's light that we can't find the joy and pleasure in a small pastry unless it has been twisted and deformed in ways that were never intended by the creator?

# ? Mar 21, 2022 10:50

Overminty: Mar 16, 2010; You may wonder what I am doing while reading your posts..

expresso

# ? Mar 21, 2022 10:52

Dysgenesis: Jul 12, 2012; HAVE AT THEE!

Overminty posted:

expresso

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4hvh5e8-nw

# ? Mar 21, 2022 11:14

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

cyberia posted:

Have we really strayed so far from God's light that we can't find the joy and pleasure in a small pastry unless it has been twisted and deformed in ways that were never intended by the creator?

I mean

# ? Mar 21, 2022 12:41