YOSPOS Tweets v1.5: (enlarging bottoms mostly)

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > YOSPOS Tweets v1.5: (enlarging bottoms mostly)

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Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/ThreatNotation/status/1519751929047494658

if that's a trick question and the answer is "40 minutes" i respect it.

it's good to make students think on their feet.

# ? Apr 30, 2022 00:31

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 21:13

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

Its a quiz for project managers

# ? Apr 30, 2022 00:39

Armitag3: Mar 15, 2020; Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.

PokeJoe posted:

Its a quiz for project managers

Replace 40 min with x points

# ? Apr 30, 2022 00:50

Pythagoras a trois: Feb 19, 2004; I have a lot of points to make and I will make them later.

PokeJoe posted:

Its a quiz for project managers

Hey! you ever heard about the poject manager in charge of a baby delivery?

Yeah. it was called, The Aristocrats!

# ? Apr 30, 2022 01:23

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

unironically the best example of that joke

# ? Apr 30, 2022 04:17

Lime: Jul 20, 2004

Sagebrush posted:

if that's a trick question and the answer is "40 minutes" i respect it.

it's good to make students think on their feet.

it is

https://twitter.com/hillelogram/status/1519890128587612160

# ? Apr 30, 2022 05:37

Kuvo: Oct 27, 2008; Blame it on the misfortune of your bark!; Fun Shoe

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/ThreatNotation/status/1519751929047494658

a normal performance takes ~65 mins tho?

# ? Apr 30, 2022 06:42

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

doesn't say it's a good orchestra

# ? Apr 30, 2022 06:49

Kazinsal: Dec 13, 2011

the orchestra discovered a cache of ww2 german tanker chocolate

# ? Apr 30, 2022 10:12

Doom Mathematic: Sep 2, 2008

Kuvo posted:

a normal performance takes ~65 mins tho?

Only had about 75 members in your orchestra huh?

# ? Apr 30, 2022 12:45

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

Sagebrush posted:

if that's a trick question and the answer is "40 minutes" i respect it.

it's good to make students think on their feet.

I did a multiple choice numerical test once where they said "don't guess" and it was because one question was written with loads of extraneous information to try and hide the fact it was unsolvable so if you guessed it meant you didn't work out all answers were wrong

I quite respect that

# ? Apr 30, 2022 12:51

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

https://twitter.com/sweetstench/status/1520468028697239560

# ? Apr 30, 2022 21:03

Agile Vector: May 21, 2007; scrum bored

oh no, zuck got out of his sweet baby ray's pool and into the datacenter again

# ? Apr 30, 2022 21:28

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Doom Mathematic posted:

Only had about 75 members in your orchestra huh?

lol

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

I did a multiple choice numerical test once where they said "don't guess" and it was because one question was written with loads of extraneous information to try and hide the fact it was unsolvable so if you guessed it meant you didn't work out all answers were wrong

I quite respect that

once we had this quiz and the first thing on it says to read the whole quiz first and the very last thing on it says now that you�ve read this you can just leave it untouched on your desk and not do it but of course almost all of us just started doing the quiz except for these smug as heck �good students� :argh:

# ? Apr 30, 2022 21:36

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1518601992616259585

# ? May 1, 2022 01:01

Second Hand Meat Mouth: Sep 12, 2001

mods please change my name to

https://twitter.com/Clipart1994bot/status/1520526189043101698

# ? May 1, 2022 02:57

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1518601992616259585

...

# ? May 1, 2022 03:04

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

lol

# ? May 1, 2022 05:53

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/TylerGlaiel/status/1520663361687482368

# ? May 1, 2022 14:53

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/DarkCosmologist/status/1520174784767832064

# ? May 1, 2022 14:53

in a well actually: Jan 26, 2011; dude, you gotta end it on the rhyme

dealing with weird fortran 95 compiler incompatibilities or dealing with venvs and anaconda

real no win scenario there

# ? May 1, 2022 15:02

MrQueasy: Nov 15, 2005; Probiot-ICK

Stop posting my nudes on twitter you jerks.

https://twitter.com/zhang_heqing/status/1519898637744156672?s=20&t=qgt63gBbUfBQ8fzAJarO_A

# ? May 1, 2022 17:58

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

Kuvo posted:

a normal performance takes ~65 mins tho?

shut up nerd

# ? May 1, 2022 18:11

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

it'd be around 66 mins and change if you're tuned to 432 hz A, the correct pitch in the eyes of G*d

# ? May 1, 2022 18:17

Pythagoras a trois: Feb 19, 2004; I have a lot of points to make and I will make them later.

A note for the parents on the room, kids love beam.ng youtube videos

# ? May 1, 2022 18:44

Another Bill: Sep 27, 2018; Born on the bayou
died in a cave
bbq and posting
is all I crave

https://twitter.com/JElvisWeinstein/status/1520832296999215104

# ? May 1, 2022 19:39

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

Jonny 290 posted:

it'd be around 66 mins and change if you're tuned to 432 hz A, the correct pitch in the eyes of G*d

I imagine the orchestral sect of audiophiles are some of the most passionate

# ? May 1, 2022 20:01

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

*plays back music at 99.8% speed to correct pitch*

# ? May 1, 2022 20:02

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

super chud right wing figure Lyndon Larouche had two life goals:

* promote federalism, the right wing, and conservatism
* also play all music at 432 hz A

https://producerhive.com/editorial/432hz-vs-440hz/

# ? May 1, 2022 20:04

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

https://mobile.twitter.com/soychotic/status/1520126831478951936

# ? May 1, 2022 20:10

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

speaking of beethoven and off-kilter musical preferences one of my favourite pieces discussing the clarinet:

A Traitor Clarinet in the Ranks

quote:

ONE of the singular pleasures of being an exchange student in Germany was the opportunity to play clarinet in one of the myriad orchestras that are spread across the country in even the smallest Bavarian villages.

Music is the lifeblood of Germany, and it's more democratic than politics. In the land of Beethoven and Brahms, I never lacked for an opportunity to play with other students - almost none of whom were music majors. It is as second nature for a German to play an instrument as it is for an Indian to speak more than his local dialect. There were times when I had a music evening every day of the week. Clarinet in hand, I would go from door to door, availing myself of duets, trios, and quartets. When no clarinet part was called for, I simply transposed the viola part, happy to be there.

While chamber music is an exercise in egalitarianism and partnership, where everyone gets a chance to shine as well as support the efforts of one's fellow players, an orchestra offers one a chance to be part of something much bigger. But foreign clarinetists have a peculiar problem playing in German orchestras: Most clarinets in the world feature an arrangement of keys called the ``Boehm'' system, developed in the 1840s in France. Germany, however, went its own way with the ``Oehler'' system.

The two clarinets - French and German - really do look quite different. They also sound a bit different, the German clarinet to most ears being ``darker,'' and the French clarinet ``brighter.'' The Germans are orthodox about this difference. Ads for clarinetists in German newspapers often carry the caveat: Kein Boehm - No Boehm!

UNDETERRED, I answered a call for a first-chair clarinet in one of Gottingen's several orchestras. As it turned out, I was the only clarinetist who showed up. Without so much as greeting me, the conductor, Herr Weiske, a corpulent, bearded, imposing man, gestured with his baton toward a vacant chair in the rear. He had no reason to assume I wasn't German, and even less reason to suspect that I had just smuggled a Boehm clarinet into his orchestra.

The second-chair clarinetist, a young man studying at the university, nodded toward me and smiled his greeting. When he saw my clarinet, though, his eyebrows took flight. ``This should be interesting!'' he said.

The conductor raised his baton, hardened his eyes, and we began to play the first movement of Beethoven's Eighth Symphony, which contains a clarinet solo in the third measure. After the full orchestra thundered its introduction, I tweedled my brief solo passage against the backdrop of an absolutely silent orchestra, which then returned in full force to echo my solo.

Herr Weiske beat his music stand with the baton. ``Nein! Nein!'' he barked. ``Something is wrong!''

The problem was one that I had forgotten about : German clarinets are pitched a fraction higher than French ones. I was flat, but not so flat that the conductor could pinpoint me as the culprit right off. He raised his baton, shook his head and shoulders as if to dispel a chill, and roused us into the Beethoven again. The orchestra roared and I tweedled, this time biting down on the reed - a maneuver to raise the clarinet's pitch.

No. The conductor beat his podium viciously, raising a whirlwind that sent his pages to the floor. This time he had me in his sights. He pointed the baton at me and looked down its length, as if he were aiming a weapon. The other players turned and fixed their gazes on me. Herr Weiske spoke: ``Clarinetist,'' he said. ``Do we have a problem?''

I suddenly felt like a nine-year-old caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I was surrounded - strings to my left and woodwinds to my right. There was no way out. The conductor repeated his question. ``Do we have a problem, clarinetist?''

I struck a serious expression. ``Ja, Herr Dirigent,'' I said. ``I think the orchestra is sharp.''

Herr Weiske shook out his whole body like an old blanket. He rapped the podium again, but the entire orchestra had fallen into animated discussion. He signaled me to approach him, with my clarinet. I dutifully slunk through the forest of bassoons, French horns, and cellos.

When the conductor saw my clarinet, he was bug-eyed. He reached out to touch it, but quickly pulled back his hand, as if fearing contamination. A flutter of monosyllables erupted in the orchestra. ``Boehm!'' ``Boehm!'' ``Boehm!''

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind as I stood in Herr Weiske's ample shadow, with the players before me murmuring ``Boehm!'' like a Greek chorus. Was this the first time the sainted Beethoven had been intoned on German soil with a French clarinet? Would the conductor break my instrument over his knee? Would I be tossed out with a simple rebuke, or was there a specific punishment reserved for smugglers of Boehm clarinets?

As it turned out, time was my only ally. The concert was in three days - not time enough to find another clarinetist of the proper stripe and key arrangement. Herr Weiske told the second-chair clarinet to switch places with me, but he shook his head, declining the limelight. The bottom of the barrel had already been scraped, and I was it!

The conductor looked at me. ``Can you squeeze that reed a little harder?'' he asked. ``I'll try,'' I said contritely, and for the rest of that evening and during the following rehearsals I bore down on my reed until I was examining my lip for splinters.

On the night of the concert, in an old landmark church in the heart of Gottingen, the conductor looked particularly edgy. When he mounted his podium and glanced my way I realized that it was because of me. He still wasn't satisfied with my pitch. But there was a full house of expectant Germans, so what could we do other than play on?

The oboeist rose to intone his ``A,'' to which the rest of the orchestra would tune. But then a strange - and unprecedented - thing happened. The conductor motioned to him to resume his seat. The oboeist looked about himself, incredulously, convinced that Herr Weiske was pointing to somebody else with his baton. But he gestured more vigorously to the oboeist, and the message was clear: Sit down!

And then Herr Weiske turned to me, motioning me to my feet. I rose, with the eyes of my fellow players upon me, wondering what was going on. Herr Weiske called me forward, and I stumbled through the orchestra, clarinet in hand. The conductor rapped on his podium. The orchestra fell silent, as did the audience. ``Play your `A','' he said. I pointed to myself and threw him a questioning look. ``Me?'' I asked. Herr Weiske nodded.

And so I inhaled deeply, slipped the mouthpiece between my lips, and expressed the most soulful ``A'' I could muster. Herr Weiske signaled to the orchestra, and each and every member busily tuned down until their pitch was even with mine. I have said this often and it has thus far gone uncontested: I believe this was the first, and perhaps only, instance of a German orchestra ever tuning down to accommodate a Boehm clarinet - an ugly duckling - in their ranks.

We played Beethoven's Eighth, my clarinet sang, and I distinctly recall that an elderly woman in the first row of the audience wept.

Even in a land of musical orthodoxy, it is possible to bend a little, or a lot, and still give Beethoven his due.

# ? May 2, 2022 00:54

lord funk: Feb 16, 2004

haveblue posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/soychotic/status/1520126831478951936

genius

# ? May 2, 2022 01:26

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

mediaphage posted:

speaking of beethoven and off-kilter musical preferences one of my favourite pieces discussing the clarinet:

A Traitor Clarinet in the Ranks

Lmao

# ? May 2, 2022 01:59

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

mediaphage posted:

speaking of beethoven and off-kilter musical preferences one of my favourite pieces discussing the clarinet:

A Traitor Clarinet in the Ranks

this is cute

# ? May 2, 2022 02:11

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Jonny 290 posted:

it'd be around 66 mins and change if you're tuned to 432 hz A, the correct pitch in the eyes of G*d

Why would tuning their instruments down make the orchestra play slower? They're playing some number of beats per minute, not counting cycles. :confused:

E: oh you probably mean adjusting the playback of a recording. Right

# ? May 2, 2022 07:26

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/gigaj0ule/status/1520857537364381697

# ? May 2, 2022 14:19

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

dilbert guy is a Brain Genius IRL

https://twitter.com/BlakeTapper/status/1521119644488290304

# ? May 2, 2022 16:09

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

https://twitter.com/dril/status/1520683383369527302

# ? May 2, 2022 16:35

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/dril/status/1520683383369527302

drat. that is a beaut.

# ? May 2, 2022 16:42

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 21:13

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

☞Rub Out☜

https://twitter.com/Keyboards_bot/status/1521248300782993412?t=-DMz5ZSMx5mUN16qtkVw5w&s=19

# ? May 2, 2022 23:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > YOSPOS Tweets v1.5: (enlarging bottoms mostly)

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