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use paragraphs for each character doing a thing. its not just good for clarity purposes, but also the sense of "pov character acts, world reacts." you should be able to rewrite any paragraph to be pretty clear from there out. they, however, still gives me loving headaches. "they both" and "they all" start becoming necessary. its not clean, but its clarity. i really wish english had a different singular/plural they at this point. its straight up useful as a language tool even without considering nonbinary characters.
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May 12, 2022 05:48
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anime was right posted:use paragraphs for each character doing a thing. its not just good for clarity purposes, but also the sense of "pov character acts, world reacts." you should be able to rewrite any paragraph to be pretty clear from there out. I started using ey/em/er for exactly this reason, because as neuter neopronouns go, simply lopping off the th for the singular they seems like the most natural one to develop organically, and if more people did it, it would eventually become the norm, so why the heck not start and tell anyone who doesn’t like it to suck it
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May 12, 2022 06:02
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Stuporstar posted:I started using ey/em/er for exactly this reason, because as neuter neopronouns go, simply lopping off the th for the singular they seems like the most natural one to develop organically, and if more people did it, it would eventually become the norm, so why the heck not start and tell anyone who doesn’t like it to suck it counterpoint: we go in the opposite direction because "thall" is a hilarious word
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May 12, 2022 06:03
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anime was right posted:counterpoint: we go in the opposite direction because "thall" is a hilarious word Lol Also poo poo is the plural of it
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May 12, 2022 06:04
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sebmojo posted:When nothing about it annoys you So, never. Got it.
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May 15, 2022 01:32
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Coquito Ergo Sum posted:So, never. Got it. 
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May 15, 2022 01:38
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kaom posted:How do people feel about epithets generally? I slip into using them sometimes and find myself removing them later, unless the epithet reveals something interesting about the narrator’s opinions (e.g. “the little creep” vs “the older man”). I guess they feel a little stilted or old fashioned to me? I know the thread/writing advice circles in general abhor the word "never" in any advice, but I would advise against them for the same reason that 99.9999% of the time, you should just use "said" for dialogue tags and not "expostulated, ejaculated, asseverated," etc. They are definitely stilted/old fashioned so you could use them if you want the character/narrator to have that tone. The same way people are unlikely to complain that you use the word "said" too often in your dialogue tags, they are unlikely to complain that you refer to characters using their names. The same way a reader won't get sick of "said," they won't get sick of a character name when it comes to attributing dialogue. "The taller man" or whatever gets annoying the first time and more annoying each subsequent time, especially if you try to avoid repeating epithets, so start saying "the dark haired man" or whatever. It can easily make it unclear which character you are referring to and how many characters are present in a scene. I cannot think of a passage where the writing would've been improved by using epithets. Using epithets is also sometimes called "elegant variation," if you would like to read other peoples' opinions/craft essays, etc on them.
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May 17, 2022 06:18
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Everyone always talks about neopronouns but what about paleopronouns? 'You' used to be pronounced 'yow' to rhyme with the archaic way we still pronounce 'thou'. If we'd kept 'thou' around, it could rhyme with modern you (you/thou -> "you/thew"). It makes 'they' make a lot more sense too! Plus you get back the way that singular first and second rhyme, with me/mine and thee/thine. You could even extend that out into third person, get hine and shine out of he and she. But then maybe you'd want to flip things around so all the -ee pronouns are the same form... IMO the big question is whether we re-normalize our plural second person possessives with 'your' (yours/ours -> "yours/oars") or with 'our' (yours/ours -> "yarrs/ours") edit: Also English has a huge wealth of non-personal pronouns that are free for the taking. Why not this? Or what? There's also here and there, or one, or none. (Or no one, if no one wishes to get classical with it.) edit edit: normal people talking about pronouns  language nerds talking about pronouns 
Djeser fucked around with this message at 10:07 on May 17, 2022 |
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May 17, 2022 07:11
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I was trying to think of when I use epithets, because I use them very, very occasionally. Obviously they’re useful when POV characters don’t know other people’s names. But they can be useful sometimes when trying to establish some emotional distance between characters. I think that’s it, though. I don’t use them often. Also… Yes! More grammar and word talk!
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May 17, 2022 13:56
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Since I'm an ancient Near East history nerd, epithets always make me think back to the way they're used in the Illiad or Odyssey where they're treated almost as part of the names. They're not Achaeans, they're the Shifty-Eyed Achaeans. I get similar vibes from From Software games when I'm summoning Masterless Glencour or something. Masterless is definitely part of the name. And in that sense, I think I've seen it used in a semi self-aware way in a couple books where it's treated as the author giving a character a specific "name". I think that was a thing in the Series of Unfortunate Events books, as well as in at least one Neil Gaiman book and probably in a Nick Harkaway book too. I remember one where it was like "the fat man and the slim man" but they were never referred to as "the two men" or something, it was always "the fat man and the slim man" with the implication that they're not actually human. The vibe is kind of twee, because it's a storybook-esque mode of narration, but can be used to a good unsettling effect, similar to someone who's a little too eager to convince you that they're definitely for sure human.
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May 17, 2022 23:51
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Invisible Clergy posted:I know the thread/writing advice circles in general abhor the word "never" in any advice, but I would advise against them for the same reason that 99.9999% of the time, you should just use "said" for dialogue tags and not "expostulated, ejaculated, asseverated," etc. They are definitely stilted/old fashioned so you could use them if you want the character/narrator to have that tone. I didn’t even think of this type of epithet use, since when I use them I tend to use them as a name replacement for characters, so they’re always specific to that character and don’t vary, more like a nickname. Or this… Djeser posted:Since I'm an ancient Near East history nerd, epithets always make me think back to the way they're used in the Illiad or Odyssey where they're treated almost as part of the names. They're not Achaeans, they're the Shifty-Eyed Achaeans. I get similar vibes from From Software games when I'm summoning Masterless Glencour or something. Masterless is definitely part of the name. This is more like I was thinking. Like epithets are dished out to characters as their One Defining Quality when I want to keep them as a one-dimensional impression my narrator has of them Djeser posted:Everyone always talks about neopronouns but what about paleopronouns? While we’re at it, bring back ”werman“ and “wifman” so “man” is neuter again
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May 18, 2022 00:13
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Action scene advice I found in the wild:
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May 18, 2022 12:21
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Yeah that's solid
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May 18, 2022 13:09
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Since I'm a visual thinker everyhing comes out of me as a film metaphor. For me, sentence length is like the length of a shot. You can do action sequences that have long wide shots, or you can do ones that have a lot of close-up shots. Long sentences are better for establishing scale, while short sentences are good for juicy bits of action that can be decontextualized. The benefit of treating it like shots, for me at least, is it's easier to understand the rhythm of a scene I think there's more space for "wide shots" than that post suggests, but maybe you don't have to tell writers to do that as much since it's closer to normal writing modes. I still struggle with getting sentence length right a lot but having it slow between shorter and longer is usually what feels best to me. Also it's only semi-related but language chat reminded me that the book Baudolino by Umberto Eco (it's a bit like a medieval version of Forrest Gump, as in "what if some Italian peasant happened to be involved in a bunch of medieval history") and the first chapter of the book is written in garbage uneducated half-medieval Italian crossed with misunderstood church Latin. They did their best to recreate the effect in the English translation: 
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May 18, 2022 19:23
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Djeser posted:Also it's only semi-related but language chat reminded me that the book Baudolino by Umberto Eco (it's a bit like a medieval version of Forrest Gump, as in "what if some Italian peasant happened to be involved in a bunch of medieval history") and the first chapter of the book is written in garbage uneducated half-medieval Italian crossed with misunderstood church Latin. They did their best to recreate the effect in the English translation: I loved the first chapter the most, even though the rest is also really good, for this exact reason. Eco’s works have had some masterful English translations. My favorite thing about The Island of the Day Before is the dialogue of one character, a German Jesuit priest, who speaks in a mishmash of bad Italian (translated into bad English) intermixed with Latin and German, and the English is mixed up into what seems to be German syntax. And yet his long diatribes are perfectly intelligible because the German and Latin word choices can all be gleaned from context.
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May 18, 2022 19:52
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My wife writes fanfic as a hobby. Today she got this PM out of the blue: Has anyone been approached like this before? She obviously declined.
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May 19, 2022 04:30
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DTaeKim posted:Has anyone been approached like this before? She obviously declined.  I mean, conceptually this kind of thing does happen as collaborations for audience/platform growth. I've gotten pitched to write flash fic live for a podcast. But usually if it's a legit collab, the pitch is way more professional than...whatever this is.
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May 19, 2022 04:44
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Were they offering money? Or was it just, write while I watch?
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May 19, 2022 11:15
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I'm sorry but my brain's Creep-O-Meter is going off from that message.
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May 19, 2022 11:24
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No money was offered (would it even be legal given it's fanfic?). It was legitimately the write while I watch that creeped her out, as if the ridiculous time requirements weren't enough. She has never written fanfic for either of those characters and hasn't dealt with Digimon in over two decades either so she's wondering how her username came up. The sender wants an explanation and wonders why everyone he or she has asked has declined to date. She's debating on just ghosting.
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May 19, 2022 11:56
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I don’t see any reason why it would be illegal, pretty sure people are paid to write that (and much worse) all the time. I’d expect a flat/hourly rate to write the stuff period, and an exorbitant rate to follow creeper’s schedule. If she wouldn’t accept regardless, ghosting seems fine, clearly they don’t understand how ridiculous/creepy they’re being (and won’t take her response well).
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May 19, 2022 12:41
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ghost ghost ghost, that really doesn't deserve a response
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May 19, 2022 13:15
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It’s normal (unfortunately) part of writing fanfic, and creepy as hell. But it’s just weird spam. Guy probably sends that out to hundreds of people a day, depending on how horny he is. Anyone who writes for any anime-adjacent fandoms gets pretty used to it.
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May 19, 2022 13:27
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That is a highly specific fetish that I didn't think could exist
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May 19, 2022 15:11
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DTaeKim posted:My wife writes fanfic as a hobby. Today she got this PM out of the blue: There are people who take money for this sort of thing. Have your wife reply that she takes $20 per 1k words, money in advance, lol.
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May 19, 2022 16:03
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Megazver posted:There are people who take money for this sort of thing. Have your wife reply that she takes $20 per 1k words, money in advance, lol. No amount of money is worth it, unless she’s already willing to do it, which she’s not. On top of that, the amount you suggest is piffling small for a weird fanfic creep request Hoping to price someone out of their request will backfire, because you’ve now engaged them and they will wheedle and whine and make themselves a horrid pain in the rear end. Just ghost. As others said, they’re probably spamming hoping someone will bite. Replying is the equivalent of clicking on a fishing scam
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May 19, 2022 16:10
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add me to the ghost brigade. there is literally no answer you can give that guy that will satisfy him, up to and including 'i will do everything you ask for free.' agreeing to the job on all his terms still comes with a guaranteed meltdown.
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May 19, 2022 22:05
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I don't think you'd have to ghost him, I'd just be like "No thanks, not interested, please do not contact me again." I know that type of guy very well and their MO is to send out mass messages to literally everyone because by sheer numbers he's going to find someone desperate enough to take him up on the offer. Also $20 for 1,000 words is a very modest rate for the sort of thing he's asking for. My freelance gig stuff starts at $30 per thousand words, and if he wanted me to do it live, and in the morning? That's at least double. Aldo I have a surcharge for when I can tell a client wants to jack off to it afterward.
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May 20, 2022 01:09
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Yes, she decided on ghosting the request. There wasn't even a discussion of payment with it, so clearly not worth the time. Thanks everyone for your input. It was just bizarre.
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May 20, 2022 15:14
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"Have Idea: Looking for someone to execute it."
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May 20, 2022 16:21
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Azza Bamboo posted:"Have Idea: Looking for someone to execute it." I feel confident that I can execute any idea at all. Good, bad, or otherwise, I will kill it and maybe try to hide the body.
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May 20, 2022 19:00
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No, leave it out somewhere as a warning to the others
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May 20, 2022 21:08
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Version 9 of this blurb (144 words), kill me right now:quote:In the Dominion of Aleznuaweite, anyone can rise to the greatest heights—if they are willing to pay the price. "Rahelu is no stranger to sacrifices; her family have made a great many of them for her resonance skills: she can manipulate emotional echoes to discern truth from lies, conjure the past and even foretell the future." but I'm pretty sure that breaks all sorts of rules and is also a stupid construction. The crit I was trying to address with the latest iteration for ease of reference: DropTheAnvil posted:The blurb is good. It comes across as fantasy, with magic and great houses/intrigue a foot. The "Tag" line is neat, gets my interest. Leng posted:Not a nitpick at all, these are great points! This is a thing that I changed in structural revisions. Gonna sit and think this over some more on how I can articulate it better...hopefully I can come up with something suitable by next week. 
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May 20, 2022 21:52
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It's pretty good! I might avoid leading with 'Aleznuawaite', it's no worse than 'Massachusetts' but may frighten some agents. I think the razor you need here is just honing in on how everything matters to Rahelu. Don't tell me she's no stranger to sacrifices, tell me she lives with the guilt that her family sacrificed so much to give her these skills. Tell me she's afraid she's not enough. Tell me that when her rival fucks her over Rahelu feels like she's let down everyone who matters to her. Tell me she's furious that this one cheating fuckhead made her into a failson. Can you give me one more sentence, or alter the last sentence, telling me WHAT the consequences are? Something specific? Like, "Paul Atreides discovers that the price of revenge will be unthinkable" is okay. "Paul Atreides discovers that his revenge will trigger a galactic jihad in his name, and make him the greatest tyrant in a hundred thousand years" is great.
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May 21, 2022 14:58
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General Battuta posted:It's pretty good! I might avoid leading with 'Aleznuawaite', it's no worse than 'Massachusetts' but may frighten some agents. Thank you! This is the piece of the puzzle that I was missing. I dithered on leading with the Fantasy Proper Noun too, but I'm struggling to think of anything else. If I ever think of something better, I'll update the Amazon product page with it instead. On that note, this is probably as good as I'm gonna get with this blurb (167 words): quote:In the Dominion of Aleznuaweite, anyone can rise to the greatest heights—if they are willing to pay the price.
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May 21, 2022 23:21
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Okay, this might be a dumb question, but is the past tense of ‘cast’, as in ‘he cast a spell’, cast or casted? I see both used regularly (could be a UK vs American English thing?) but cast seems correct to me for the past tense: ‘he cast a spell’ or ‘he had cast a spell’.
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May 22, 2022 01:24
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newts posted:Okay, this might be a dumb question, but is the past tense of ‘cast’, as in ‘he cast a spell’, cast or casted? I see both used regularly (could be a UK vs American English thing?) but cast seems correct to me for the past tense: ‘he cast a spell’ or ‘he had cast a spell’. cast.
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May 22, 2022 02:15
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I prefer "castinated".
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May 22, 2022 14:11
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https://www.sfwa.org/about/join-us/sfwa-membership-requirements/ I don't know if I am the only who missed this, but SFWA recently changed their membership requirements to only consider total income, discarding the old idea of approved pro-markets ($1000 for full membership and $100 for associate membership). I quite like this since the pro-market thing always seemed rather arbitrary and ruled out a lot of respected genre journals. Also, I think I can join based on game writing now! The old game writer requirements were ridiculous.
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May 22, 2022 16:05
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Now do the smart thing and avoid SFWA and everything associated with it for the rest of your life!
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May 22, 2022 19:58
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