Bidets: nothing beats getting rimmed by Poseidon

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Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Bad Purchase posted:

thanks thats me

:69snypa:

# ? Aug 14, 2022 03:59

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 18:30

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

I have a bidet.

My secret bidet tip: blast yer rear end with water when you first sit down to speed things up down there.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 06:38

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

That's just an enema

# ? Aug 14, 2022 06:41

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

The effects of wiping down there touches an erogenous zone. Makes you tinkle.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 06:45

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

Colonel Cancer posted:

That's just an enema

Pretty sure it's not. But you are the enema expert so you probably know better.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 06:45

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Joe Bidet

# ? Aug 14, 2022 06:54

Fartington Butts: Jan 21, 2007

I love the butt spray.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 08:06

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Buce posted:

the bidets that warm up the water and oscillate are extra good

im also a fan of removable showerheads

# ? Aug 14, 2022 10:21

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Fartington Butts posted:

I love the butt spray.

same

# ? Aug 14, 2022 12:02

Mooey Cow: Jan 27, 2018; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Pillbug

Alucard posted:

Consider having another and another, until you come to your senses.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 12:17

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

It doesn't go up your butt. Unless you want it to maybe?

I feel like it would be hard to get the angle right quite frankly. But I haven't tried yet.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 13:01

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Use it to blast your rear end before bed if you're not showering at night to avoid contamination of your sheets by your goony swamp rear end.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 13:05

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

I don't get the big deal, does nobody use the toilet brush for this or something

# ? Aug 14, 2022 14:15

Drewsky: Dec 29, 2010

They're great.

Mine only does cold water but it's refreshing and helps with my fire rear end diarrhea and hemorrhoids.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 14:55

G-III: Mar 4, 2001

Band Name: The Bleeding Buttholes
Album Name: Bidet is the Way

# ? Aug 14, 2022 17:07

MakaVillian: Aug 16, 2003; Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.

Fartington Butts posted:

I love the butt spray.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 17:22

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Johnnie & The Hemmorhoids

# ? Aug 14, 2022 18:00

G-III: Mar 4, 2001

In all honesty: I got a fairly inexpensive bidet attachment for the toilet at the start of the pandemic when there were all the runs on TP going on. Biggest ROI on a purchase in terms of quality of life. Here I am middle aged realizing I've been having to wipe my rear end like some kind of caveman savage my whole life when a better way was available.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 19:14

sigher: Apr 22, 2008; My guiding Moonlight...

B'det my lady.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:03

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

When I was in Thailand riding a motorcycle around the countryside I stopped at a very rural rest stop that didn't have the ubiquitous bum gun. Instead it had a water bucket and a bristled brush lol. I held it until the next place.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:16

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; If only Seth would love me like I love him!

numberoneposter posted:

When I was in Thailand riding my motorcycle around the countryside I stopped at a very rural rest stop that didn't have the ubiquitous bum gun. Instead it had a water bucket and a bristled brush lol. I held it until the next place.

This is why people poo poo in the street

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:18

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

It was also a pretty gnarly squat toilet.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:20

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

bidet? more like biden

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:21

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; If only Seth would love me like I love him!

Methanar posted:

bidet? more like biden

drat clever

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:22

Buce: Dec 23, 2005

speakiung of bidets, have you noticed that if change just one letter, "joe biden" becomes "joe bident"?

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:25

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

The difference between Biden and a bidet is consent.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:41

large hands: Jan 24, 2006

numberoneposter posted:

When I was in Thailand riding a motorcycle around the countryside I stopped at a very rural rest stop that didn't have the ubiquitous bum gun. Instead it had a water bucket and a bristled brush lol. I held it until the next place.

The bucket was for pouring water down the squat toilet to "flush" it. There would have been a tap or cistern nearby to fill it. The brush was just a toilet brush same as we use here, it's not like the ancient Roman communal sponge-on-a-stick lol. Usually there would be a covered trash can for toilet paper but iirc you're supposed to bring your own tp.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 20:42

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

large hands posted:

The bucket was for pouring water down the squat toilet to "flush" it. There would have been a tap or cistern nearby to fill it. The brush was just a toilet brush same as we use here, it's not like the ancient Roman communal sponge-on-a-stick lol. Usually there would be a covered trash can for toilet paper but iirc you're supposed to bring your own tp.

That makes more sense. I still passed, which can be catostropic later because Thai food, especially from the source often decides on its own when it wants to escape. More than one time I bought a beer at a bar just to use the toilet.

Got so used to the bum gun though, it's like Plato going back into the cave when I got home.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 21:04

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; If only Seth would love me like I love him!

I wish scientists could solve making GBS threads

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:20

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

can someone please answer me a loving question that NOBODY is brave enough to touch!!!!

if you put one of those over the top bidets on then how the gently caress do you fit your dick in there anymore???
theres ZERO room.
not even zero, like, less than zero.

how is this supposed to be comfortable

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO OWN A BIDET AND USE YOUR DICK AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:22

LuckyCat: Jul 26, 2007; Grimey Drawer

GolfHole posted:

can someone please answer me a loving question that NOBODY is brave enough to touch!!!!

if you put one of those over the top bidets on then how the gently caress do you fit your dick in there anymore???
theres ZERO room.
not even zero, like, less than zero.

how is this supposed to be comfortable

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO OWN A BIDET AND USE YOUR DICK AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

I think you might be doing it wrong!

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:25

Worf: Sep 12, 2017; If only Seth would love me like I love him!

GolfHole posted:

can someone please answer me a loving question that NOBODY is brave enough to touch!!!!

if you put one of those over the top bidets on then how the gently caress do you fit your dick in there anymore???
theres ZERO room.
not even zero, like, less than zero.

how is this supposed to be comfortable

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO OWN A BIDET AND USE YOUR DICK AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

Mine just swung out of the way

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:26

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

GolfHole posted:

can someone please answer me a loving question that NOBODY is brave enough to touch!!!!

if you put one of those over the top bidets on then how the gently caress do you fit your dick in there anymore???
theres ZERO room.
not even zero, like, less than zero.

how is this supposed to be comfortable

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO OWN A BIDET AND USE YOUR DICK AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

Ah, those of us with micro penises have the last laugh.

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:32

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

LuckyCat posted:

I think you might be doing it wrong!

poo poo, me too

# ? Aug 14, 2022 23:32

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

GolfHole posted:

can someone please answer me a loving question that NOBODY is brave enough to touch!!!!

if you put one of those over the top bidets on then how the gently caress do you fit your dick in there anymore???
theres ZERO room.
not even zero, like, less than zero.

how is this supposed to be comfortable

IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO OWN A BIDET AND USE YOUR DICK AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

You do realize you remove the old seat, right? It's just a seat swap with altered plumbing and running power to the thing. Unless you have a ghetto bidet. No idea how those work, if they work at all.

# ? Aug 15, 2022 01:44

LuckyCat: Jul 26, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Waltzing Along posted:

You do realize you remove the old seat, right? It's just a seat swap with altered plumbing and running power to the thing. Unless you have a ghetto bidet. No idea how those work, if they work at all.

We have a cheap bidet because we don�t like the warm water ones, and all it is is an attachment that goes between seat and toilet. It comes with a set of adhesive plastic things to keep the whole seat level and actually increases the distance of rear end/dick from the water. The only hook up is to the cold water line, no electricity required.

# ? Aug 15, 2022 02:29