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Icon Of Sin posted:Is 420 the French drug-number, or do they think we have a weird obsession with 80? Everyone else in the world thinks eighty being "four twenties" is hilarious. It also being a drug number only makes it funnier.
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Dec 8, 2022 20:49
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FrozenVent posted:Like sure if you get someone with the most cockney accent ever and send them to California they’re gonna have a hard time but it’s not the end of the world. Speaking from experience, a thick Geordie accent is indecipherable to Americans who haven't acclimated. Imagine one of them talking to a Cajun.
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Dec 9, 2022 03:34
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Voyager I posted:Speaking from experience, a thick Geordie accent is indecipherable to Americans who haven't acclimated. Generally, unless they're Coach Orgeron, or very drunk and very excited, cajuns probably don't speak the way you think they do.
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Dec 9, 2022 03:39
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A.o.D. posted:Generally, unless they're Coach Orgeron, or very drunk and very excited, cajuns probably don't speak the way you think they do. And creole apparently is closer to French then Québécois French. As told to me by a Cajun who worked at Disney and spoke to real French people there. I’m still not 100% I believe that.
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Dec 9, 2022 05:33
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Cajun is closer to quebecois than to European French but it’s still pretty far out. Creole - as in Haitian Creole - is a whole other language. There’s some similarity, but not enough that they’re mutually intelligible.
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Dec 9, 2022 06:25
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Tunicate posted:French is controlled by a fascist cabal of immortals.  (https://qwantz.com/index.php?comic=3972)
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Dec 9, 2022 14:29
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Oh my god those comics are still going.
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Dec 9, 2022 15:40
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Les allemands were in Canada first right?
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Dec 9, 2022 16:04
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Grip it and rip it posted:Les allemands were in Canada first right? I think it's too cold for almonds there
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Dec 9, 2022 17:07
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Grip it and rip it posted:Les allemands were in Canada first right? I thought it was Norwegians* *it only discovery if it's from europeans, otherwise it's sparkling prehistoric human migrations
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Dec 9, 2022 17:45
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Europeans? Viking, French, British, if we’re talking mainland Canada. Newfoundland had some basque temporary settlements iirc.
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Dec 9, 2022 18:27
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pantslesswithwolves posted:For the uninitiated Not even the first paragraph and I get to the racial slurs. Oh loving boy.
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Dec 9, 2022 20:33
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Ah yes sea patrol.
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Dec 9, 2022 20:45
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Man, gently caress the Sea Cops.
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Dec 9, 2022 21:00
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Fivemarks posted:Man, gently caress the Sea Cops. gently caress you to bud.
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Dec 9, 2022 21:34
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Fivemarks posted:Man, gently caress the Sea Cops. this but unironically. If I had a dime for every time our boat got boarded by a Coastie with a Village People mustache angry that people were out having fun, I'd have....a few bucks
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Dec 9, 2022 23:47
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Melthir posted:gently caress you to bud. Hey, the Coast Guard is like, actually good people. You're not fascist genetically engineered, literally jackbooted thugs who's main purpose is to attack people for having fun on the water.
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Dec 10, 2022 00:18
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gently caress’n ScoobyDoos.
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Dec 10, 2022 00:50
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Fivemarks posted:Hey, the Coast Guard is like, actually good people. You're not fascist genetically engineered, literally jackbooted thugs who's main purpose is to attack people for having fun on the water. I once worked with for a short time a coasty who was getting out. He was getting out because of meth. He been in for about 16 or 18 years this point. He used to walk around and shove his phone in people's faces and say look at this video, and it'd be a chainsaw beheading or something. We also got a cease and desist because someone on our Network was downloading a video on a torrent client and the videos name was 10 man come slam. There is also something about loving firefighters too, but honestly I only remember the 10 man come slam. Super weirdly as soon as we block his phone from the network all that traffic ended. He was also incapable of following the simplest directions. Like we would tell him to make sure that the linens were available before he made a reservation, and he never did. And I'm not kidding I mean never. In the 3 months he worked there he never once checked for linens before making reservation. He was so bad then I made a wall of Shane, which was his first name, with all of his errors circled in red pen for him to fix when he came in the next day. It was a significantly sized wall Anyway we eventually got him to quit by tricking him into thinking that we were doing drug tests and then he cried saying that no one liked him which the boss's kids said yes that's correct no one likes you. So then he cried some more and then quit and then a few months later was picked up on possession of child porn and more meth
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Dec 10, 2022 01:27
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CainFortea posted:I once worked with for a short time a coasty who was getting out. He was getting out because of meth. He been in for about 16 or 18 years this point. He used to walk around and shove his phone in people's faces and say look at this video, and it'd be a chainsaw beheading or something. We also got a cease and desist because someone on our Network was downloading a video on a torrent client and the videos name was 10 man come slam. There is also something about loving firefighters too, but honestly I only remember the 10 man come slam. Super weirdly as soon as we block his phone from the network all that traffic ended. I will refrain from saying anything good about any military or paramilitary organization in GIP ever again.
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Dec 10, 2022 04:25
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Fivemarks posted:I will refrain from saying anything good about any military or paramilitary organization in GIP ever again. Wisdom.
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Dec 10, 2022 04:34
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Fivemarks posted:Hey, the Coast Guard is like, actually good people. You're not fascist genetically engineered, literally jackbooted thugs who's main purpose is to attack people for having fun on the water. literally giggled at this
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Dec 10, 2022 04:40
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Fivemarks posted:I will refrain from saying anything good about any military or paramilitary organization in GIP ever again. This is the way.
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Dec 10, 2022 05:15
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CainFortea posted:10 man come slam I googled this half expecting it to be a basketball dunk competition video but no, it's actually "10 Man Cum Slam" and there are apparently many, many sequels
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Dec 10, 2022 15:03
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Cum Slam City: With Scottie Pippen
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Dec 10, 2022 17:57
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Not the Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden sequel we want, but the one we deserve.
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Dec 10, 2022 19:51
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"Cum on and slam, and welcome to the man ..."
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Dec 10, 2022 20:00
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Would this thread be appropriate for my civilian rear end to share stories of the ex military lunatics I've ended up having to work with?
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Dec 11, 2022 00:05
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carrionman posted:Would this thread be appropriate for my civilian rear end to share stories of the ex military lunatics I've ended up having to work with? Post ‘‘em if you’ve got ‘em!
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Dec 11, 2022 00:06
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Guest2553 posted:Not the Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden sequel we want, but the one we deserve. Chaos Spunk
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Dec 11, 2022 01:19
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You can’t just go into eleven man cum jam cold, you won’t be able to follow the plot unless you’ve seen one through ten.
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Dec 11, 2022 01:31
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AlternateAccount posted:You can’t just go into eleven man cum jam cold, you won’t be able to follow the plot unless you’ve seen one through ten. I believe you will find that you can just cum into it cold.
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Dec 11, 2022 03:13
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Icon Of Sin posted:Post ‘‘em if you’ve got ‘em! Alright, let's start with my old boss. Dude was very much like a caricature of an ex army man. We had to clean our vans and polish them every day, every morning we had uniform inspection before we started work (As electricians). He didn't like me particularly much, at the time I had long hair and a manky teenager's beard, which he kept telling me would have been unacceptable in the military. He'd also show up at lunch times and berate us for sitting down because "real men don't rest until the jobs done" He was also a pacific islander, this will be important soon. So, one day we show up to work and he's not there. A bit odd, but we grab the job cards and get to work. Not there the next day either. The next day is payday and nothing comes through. He's still gone, no one can get hold of him, so we start trying to find out what the hell. Eventually one of the guys manages to get in contact with the bosses brother and it all comes out. The man had some sort of mental breakdown and in the course of one night had tattooed "gently caress THE JEWS" on one hand, a swastika between his eyes, spent some time yelling at a service station worker "N***rs like you keep stealing our jobs" then when they called the police he'd run off into the bush and was still missing. We never got paid, don't really know what happened to him, we just took all the gear back to the yard and left to find other jobs. If people are ok with it, still to come: Why are there so many paedophiles here? Dude, where's the work van? Fantastic stds and where to find them
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Dec 11, 2022 03:25
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carrionman posted:Delicious words Post at your leisure. We love to read it.
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Dec 11, 2022 03:50
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yes
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Dec 11, 2022 04:06
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Nobody here gets offended. It's understood that most military people are idiots, including us being idiots for enlisting.
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Dec 11, 2022 05:26
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Fantastic stds and where to find them This is a short one, so I'll post it next. One of our apprentices was ex air force, every flying role here in nz is heavily fought over and this guy realised he was only ever going to fly a desk so he got out and ended up working for us. This was not too long after we'd had an earthquake and a large part of our work was repairs, making stuff safe for the painters and builders, that kind of thing. Obviously this involved us going into temporarily uninhabited houses, often before any other trades so we could get builders power supplies sorted. We saw all kinds of poo poo doing this, needle collections, a roof full of used nappies, grow rooms, you name it. In this situation the house was still mostly furnished and on our lunch break flyboy decided to have a nosey through the draws. Unprofessional, but I figure I'm not his boss and besides, repairs were going to take a month or two, no one would leave anything valuable behind. A few minutes later there's some commotion and he comes out waving a fleshlight he'd found. I give him poo poo about how he finally had his first pussy, he tells me that he's ex air force, he gets all the pussy he wants. I say he wouldn't know what to do with one and what followed next is burned into my brain. He looks me in the eye, says "gently caress you, this is what I do to your sister" and shoves HIS ENTIRE loving TOUNGE into a fleshlight he found in someone's draw and goes to town on it like a dog licking peanut butter out of a jar. I'm loving speechless and he has a good laugh at me "seeing how a real man does it" About a month or so later his entire mouth erupts into coldsores, his face looks like a baboons rear end in a top hat, his girlfriend breaks up with him as a result, it's just a big mess. He maintained he got them from cheating on his missus with a girl he met at the bar, and I'm no doctor, maybe he did, dunno how long herpes lasts outside the body. But to me he's the man who licked a dose of man batter out of a second hand fucktube and got a disease as a prize.
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Dec 11, 2022 05:53
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GD_American posted:Nobody here gets offended. It's understood that most military people are idiots, including us being idiots for enlisting. I'm more worried about people finding my stories irritating to follow, my education around writing and punctuation were... lacking to say the least.
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Dec 11, 2022 05:54
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carrionman posted:But to me he's the man who licked a dose of man batter out of a second hand fucktube and got a disease as a prize. Please do not worry about the writing quality, it is fine. Please continue posting these stories.
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Dec 11, 2022 06:01
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carrionman posted:I'm more worried about people finding my stories irritating to follow, my education around writing and punctuation were... lacking to say the least. If people don't understand something they'll ask for clarification. From where I'm sitting I'm understanding (and enjoying) everything.
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Dec 11, 2022 06:27
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