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Once you wasp you can't stop.
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Feb 6, 2023 05:19
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 15:46 |
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That’s not what I look like, right, guys? Guys..? 
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Feb 6, 2023 07:16
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Storied thyme? The ingredient of legends!
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Feb 6, 2023 09:57
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But thyme is long extinct in these lands, owing to a major infestation of thyme flies! And of course the rampant exploitation for fueling thyme machines in the previous centuries.
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Feb 6, 2023 10:39
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Meanwhile... Did you think the Dragoon EorayMel and his henchmen could possibly have gotten that far? Of course not, they might have had a full day's lead on our heroes but they too are still crossing the Plains of Turrurrurrurrrrrrr.  Princess Funky See Funky Do: ... and that's when I questioned the wisdom of pretending to be elves. Dragoon EorayMel: Goddam this was poorly thought out.His resourceful captain, Orange Cat leans in close.  Orange Cat: Why don't we just gag her already?Dragoon EorayMel: She's 8 ft and weighs 400 lbs. If we piss her off she will likely kill us all.Orange Cat: Why don't we kidnap the ham princess? Everyone loves the ham princess.Dragoon EorayMel: Everyone loves the Kingdom of Ham, which is why we're not screwing with them.Orange Cat: Hey, what's that on the horizon?Dragoon EorayMel: I don't know, but it's taking a left turn towards us. They don't know it, but this is the Legendary Lorry of the Plains, the Istewart Orange Cat: Is that a plains Bison driving a lorry?Dragoon EorayMel: Where the hell did they get a lorry from in this day and age? Dragoon EorayMel: I can't believe they're doing some Flintstone rear end bullshit.Orange Cat: I can't believe we're about to be run down by a Flintstone rear end Bison-powered lorry.Dragoon EorayMel: Yeah I can't beli... what?Meep meep! Dragoon EorayMel: It's actually coming at us at quite the clip huh? Dumb Sex-Parrot! Front and center! Hench-Parrot, Dumb Sex-Parrot  Dumb Sex-Parrot: Who me, Boss?Dragoon EorayMel: Yeah you. Go stop that lorry.Dumb Sex-Parrot: How?Dragoon EorayMel: I don't know, you're the cunning one.Dumb Sex-Parrot: ...Dragoon EorayMel: What?Dumb Sex-Parrot: My name is Dumb Sex-Parrot.Dragoon EorayMel: Yeah, it's an ironic name like Little John.Dumb Sex-Parrot: No, it's not.Dragoon EorayMel: ...Dumb Sex-Parrot: ...Orange Cat: ...Dragoon EorayMel: OK well they're sexy Bison, your dumb sex-parrot power should counter it.Dumb Sex-Parrot: I'm pretty sure they're gay.Dragoon EorayMel: Give it a shot.Sadly, Dumb Sex-Parrot was too dumb too argue.  Dragoon EorayMel: I'm sure she's fine. Orange Cat: At least the Istewart changed course and missed us.Dumb Sex-Parrot: I loving hate you, Boss.Princess Funky See Funky Do: See that truck? I love that truck. I'm sad it passed us by.Meanwhile back with the Four Heroes... (To be continued after I get some sleep.)
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Feb 6, 2023 11:23
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Where are the traffic cops when you need one? They could have thrown a cop in front of the lorry and avoided this regrettable incident!
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Feb 6, 2023 13:09
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Telling my whole life With his words Killing me Softly
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Feb 6, 2023 14:57
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Feb 6, 2023 20:09
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Pet dog
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Feb 6, 2023 20:10
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can we grow crops in this game?
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Feb 6, 2023 20:32
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dsf posted:can we grow crops in this game? no elaborate crafting/cooking/item customizing system, no purchase 
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Feb 6, 2023 20:54
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As the first rays of dawn fall upon their camp, the Four Heroes get ready to move out. They've barely spent an hour travelling when the ground in front of them erupts! Fatkraken, Mighty Knight of the Dervinosdoom Kingdom Appears!  Fatkraken: I AM THE MIGHTY KNIGHT of the DERVINOSDOOM KINGDOM! I challenge one of you to a duel! WAR CRIME GIGOLO: I sure hope he doesn't challenge me, I'm just a rogue! :Bypopular Demand: You're 9 ft and 600 lbs.WAR CRIME GIGOLO: I AM A ROGUE.Fatkraken: He's clearly a rogue.:Bypopular Demand: You're clearly full of poo poo. Also you're neither fat nor a kraken.Fatkraken: Oh yeah? Well I challenge you, wiseass.:Bypopular Demand: Gecko rear end.Fatkraken: Wut? Fatkraken: Whatever, let's go.  Fatkraken: MOTHERFUCKER. :Bypopular Demand: ... Secks Cauldron: Let's run. Fatkraken: Oh come on that's not fair. I'm fat and half buried in the ground. :Bypopular Demand: ByyyyyyyyyeThe Four Heroes bravely run away! Fatkraken is left behind to regret his life choices.
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Feb 6, 2023 23:33
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And with that, we get far better closure for the Kraken than the Pirates of the Carribean movies ever offered
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Feb 7, 2023 00:59
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I'm looking forward to where this goes.
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Feb 7, 2023 01:26
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Meanwhile...Princess Funky See Funky Do: ... and that's why trucks are the best thing ever.Dumb Sex-Parrot: Shut up, my face still hurts.Princess Funky See Funky Do: Truck love often hurts.Dragoon EorayMel: I regret all my life choices. At least we're almost at the Lil Swamp Booger Baby forest. Hopefully Fatkraken slowed down anyone who was trailing us.Dumb Sex-Parrot: Hopefully whoever was trailing us just happened to go near the spot where we buried him. Can krakens survive being buried?Dragoon EorayMel: It's fine, he's a Plains Kraken.Orange Cat: We have company. Skeletal Highwayman (Leader): STAND AND DELIVER! Dragoon EorayMel: gently caress me, it's Rock Paper Tongue gang!Dumb Sex-Parrot: God I hate "Rock, Paper, Tongue" Skeletal Highwayman : We love "Rock, Paper, Tongue"Dragoon EorayMel: We figured. Dumb Sex-Parrot, you're up again.Dumb Sex-Parrot: God I hate you, Boss.Skeletal Highwayman: On the count of three, throw hands! 1... 2... 3! Skeletal Highwayman : TONGUE!  Dumb Sex-Parrot: ROCK. Dumb Sex-Parrot: I swear to God Boss, you put me through any more bullshit and I am quitting.
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Feb 7, 2023 01:51
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gently caress the Rock Paper Tongue gang. Bunch of no good lowlife jabronis.
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Feb 7, 2023 02:41
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I believe it's high time for some cosmic shenanigans
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Feb 7, 2023 03:31
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Meanwhile, back with the Four Heroes... So fun fact, the door-to-door salesman from Pee-wee's Playhouse gave me terrifying nightmares once where he was a cackling demon with a blood-stained mouth. SCREEE SCREE SCREE  Plains Salesman: I'm going door-to-door to make you this incredible offer!  Sophy Wackles: Oh GodWAR CRIME GIGOLO: OH GODSecks Cauldron: Oh GodBypopular Demand: Cocks gunSalesman  : It's an amazing offer!Sophy Wackles: Let's run.WAR CRIME GIGOLO: I'm scared.Secks Cauldron: I can't remember my spells.Bypopular Demand: Takes aim[/img]Salesman : AN UNBELIEVABLE OFFER!Sophy Wackles: I can't run while half assed.WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Why is he going door-to-door, there are no doors here?Secks Cauldron: Something something... Bypopular Demand: Fires gun Salesman: NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE! Bypopular Demand: OK, NOW I'm scared.Salesman: This incredible, amazing, unbelievable offer not available in any store -- a Scrotum Modem!Sophy Wackles: WhatWAR CRIME GIGOLO: theSecks Cauldron: gently caressBypopular Demand: is a modem?Salesman : An incredible tool that lets you connect to the Internet without the need of a wi-fi toilet!Secks Cauldron: Are you sure you're not an encounter meant for the Dervinosdoom party?WAR CRIME GIGOLO: What?!Secks Cauldron: Nothing.Sophy Wackles: What will it take for you to go away?Salesman : Money.Sophy Wackles: How about one golden rear end check?Salesman : Deal.WAR CRIME GIGOLO: GOOD GODS, Sophy now you're assless. How does that even work?Sophy Wackles: Ti's but a scratch. I'm like the tin man, except made of gold. And not prone to rust, because I'm made of gold.The Four Heroes now have a useless scrotum modem. Huzzah!
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Feb 7, 2023 04:25
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Is that a modem for connecting with a scrotum or one used to transmit scrotums through the internet? Probably best if you don't answer that. In fact you should answer some better questions, like 'what does the best pancake breakfast look like' or 'how to cuddle with an angora rabbit '
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Feb 7, 2023 04:55
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the Awful Fantasy 3 remake looks loving amazing when is it getting released
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Feb 7, 2023 05:47
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Smik posted:
I don’t know, you could carry some coins in it, or make an unwieldy hacky sack
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Feb 7, 2023 06:05
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My golden rear end!  drat my compulsion for buying useless internet hardware.
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Feb 7, 2023 07:35
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That's two for two of succesful henching. Man I'm doing the heavy lifting here. 
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Feb 7, 2023 10:08
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Careful! Don't strain your beautiful avian back, you've got hollow bones after all.
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Feb 7, 2023 12:10
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don't worry, I've got a load-bearing cape
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Feb 7, 2023 14:22
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:don't worry, I've got a load-bearing cape Maybe you should wash it, then.
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Feb 7, 2023 15:18
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Geemer posted:Maybe you should wash it, then. e:lmao
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Feb 7, 2023 17:12
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I'm not comfortable with not being the dumbest person in the room, feels so unfamiliar.
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Feb 7, 2023 20:43
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A fool's deal, for a golden rear end cheek you could have at least haggled for a router
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Feb 7, 2023 21:54
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Meanwhile, the Dragoon's troop arrive at the edge of Lil Swamp Booger Baby forest. The legends say that only the cunning or those homosexual of blood could hope to navigate it.Princess Funky See Funky Do: Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam...Orange Cat: Y'know after awhile it stops being language and just becomes part of the background noise. Like footsteps, or bird calls but more droning.Dragoon EorayMel: Well here we are at the edge of Lil Swamp Booger Baby forest. This shouldn't be too hard. I mean, it wasn't so bad the first time.Dumb Sex-Parrot: Yes it was. It absolutely was.Orange Cat: You should have spoke up earlier about your name not being ironic.Dragoon EorayMel: How did we get through then? Bloodfart McCoy: It was me. Dragoon EorayMel: Oh, of course! The Champion of Dervinosdoom who has been travelling with us the entire time but not spoken up until now!Dragoon EorayMel: ...Dragoon EorayMel: OK why am I the only human here? Bloodfart McCoy: Now you're being racist. Oh hey, it's the Holy Poopacy.Dragoon EorayMel: The who? OH HELL. THE HOLY POOPACY: HIGH PRIESTS OF THE LIL' SWAMPIES  Most Holy Doo-Doo: You trespass on our holy grounds, outsiders!Dragoon EorayMel: Ooooh crap.Dumb Sex-Parrot: What's the big deal?Dragoon EorayMel: The Holy Poopacy? The Legion of the Holy poo poo?Dumb Sex-Parrot: Are you saying "Holy poo poo" like literally, or is it like "The Legion? Holy poo poo!"?Dragoon EorayMel: They can cast "Magic Poosile" and that's if you're lucky.Dumb Sex-Parrot: Soooo literally, is what you're saying.Dragoon EorayMel: I'm saying never mess with people who weaponize poo. All right...Dumb Sex-Parrot: You better not be sending me up again or I swear I'll...Dragoon EorayMel: Bloodfart McCoy! You're up! *blood farts* Most Holy Doo-Doo: Oh! Forgive me traveller, I did not know you with The Champion with the fabled fart of blood! Please, let my people escort you through our lands!Dragoon EorayMel: Score!Dumb Sex-Parrot: What the gently caress.Orange Cat: I think we passed a check or something.The Dervinosdoom gang makes speedy progress through the Forest!
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Feb 8, 2023 00:26
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The Legion of the Holy poo poo
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Feb 8, 2023 00:36
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Most enjoyable thread I've seen in a while. If possible, have me show up as Leonard Cohen singing about crippling depression.
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Feb 8, 2023 00:44
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Those good for nothing do-gooders won't stand a chance against the Holy Poopacy.
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Feb 8, 2023 01:27
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My puungent thigh's
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Feb 8, 2023 02:29
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i would like to be a strong protector. because I care about people and I don't want anyone to be sad, ever again. i need to save them, to be saved
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Feb 8, 2023 03:53
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It's time to join a story.
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Feb 8, 2023 04:07
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Goddamn that blood fart panel
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Feb 8, 2023 04:14
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It’s like staring into a stinky mirror! …covered in blood!
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Feb 8, 2023 04:18
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Even though the Dervinosdoom crew is making fantastic progress through the puzzling Lil Swamp Booger Baby forest, the four heroes are hot on their heels!Secks Cauldron: Fortunately for us, I have both the wisdom and the blood of homosexuality (like all wizards) to easily deal with anything in this forest. As the Four Heroes track their quarry, a desperate cry echos between the gnarled and twisted trunks of the forest. Sophy Wackles: Someone in need of help! Come Heroes, we are obligated by our very monikers to lend assistance to whatever poor wretch is in need!War Crime Gigolo marks the way back by twisting branches, and by 'twisting branches' I mean he's tying trees in knots.  Geemer: Aaaaaaaiiiiie! It's the reknown herbalist and Superman Impersonator, Geemer! Geemer: The Legendary Four Heroes! Thank goodness I've run into you! Help, help I'm being haunted!Sophy Wackles stares at the one who spoke -- the little ghost -- then looks over at the Superman impersonator. They point at him and look back at the ghost in confusion. Geemer: ?War Crime Gigolo: Sir Wackles, don't you know Geemer?Sophy Wackles: I beg your pardon Herbalist Geemer, I'm not from these lands originally.Geemer: Oh it's no trouble. I'm Geemer, the Superman is my body that I use to interact with the world and also impersonate Superman.Sophy Wackles considers asking why but thinks better of it and also they don't really care. Secks Cauldron: What's haunting you, Geemer? Geemer: HER!Sophy Wackles: Mariah Carey?Geemer: It's not Mariah Carey.Bypopular Demand: The ghost of Mariah Carey?Geemer: It's not just that.Secks Cauldron: OH YE GODS IT'S THE GHOST OF MARIAH CAREY'S "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!"Sophy Wackles: Ye gods...War Crime Gigolo: By the cookies and cobblers!Bypopular Demand: Oh poo poo.Secks Cauldron: Stand back honeys, I got this! SPIN OF LEEK! It's Super Effective! The Ghost of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" fled! Geemer: Thanks so much! Here, take this sprig of Storied Thyme with you to help you on your quest!Bypopular Demand: Oh drat, I thought that had gone extinct due to the infestation of thyme flies!Geemer: I cross bred them with Daylight Saving Thyme, it's helped it make a recovery.Taking the Storied Thyme with them, the Four Heroes resume their search for the Dragoon and the Princess!
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Feb 9, 2023 02:36
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 15:46 |
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I would offer to help the heroes by giving them provisions. But not too many as to throw the balance out of wack
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Feb 9, 2023 04:05
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