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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:(wait did I fly with two cappuccinos?) Your name might mention your intellect, but clearly not your dexterity.
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Feb 19, 2023 01:32
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 21:38 |
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Note to self: invest in anti-sword bullets, one of those crazy self endangering YouTubers must have cracked that by now.
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Feb 20, 2023 05:27
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As the Dervinosdoom gang trudge through the swamps, Dragoon EorayMel was relieved that now they were very close to the oddly comical plains of .random (called "the Dark Plains" by the enemies of Dervinosdoom). Soon they'd been on their own turf and almost home free. Princess Funky See Funky Do: I bet you our trucks could make quick work of this swamp! Just put big ol' tires on 'em and...  Orange Cat: I'm actually glad to hear the princess rambling again.  Dragoon EorayMel: Maybe we're not gonna have some horror come up at us and try to drag us screaming into the fetid depths.Princess Funky See Funky Do: Funny hat.Orange Cat: You just had to jinx it, didn't you? Bloodfart McCoy: Don't be a baby. How bad could 'funny hat' be compared to 'redrum'? ??: You there, mother-loving poo poo pilgrims!Dragoon EorayMel: That sounds like ... the Pope of Dervinosdoom? ??: Come loving too me, mother-loving poo poo pilgrims ye gently caress drat poo poo! A figure emerges from the vapours and muck. It appears to be the Pope of Dervinosdoom. Dragoon EorayMel: Wait... something's not quite right...Bloodfart McCoy: Half-burried in the muck... I see them. HIGH-TOP SNEAKERS!Dragoon EorayMel: The PHONY POPE! Modulo16: Ha ha yes it is I, Modulo16, robotic loving phony loving pope! I had hoped to gently caress swindle you shits out of damned illegal imports of cookies and gently caress shoes that you would poo poo have gotten from Youareaelf, but it seems the loving jig is up! Orange Cat: We didn't have any imports. Who the hell wants their shoes? Bob Foot: Or shoes in general, really.Orange Cat, Bob Foot and Bloodfart McCoy all nod sagely, then glance at Dragoon EorayMel, the Princess and Modulo16 and shake their heads, making 'tsk tsk' noises.  Modulo16: What about the loving cookies?Orange Cat: OK I admit I took some cookies.Bloodfart McCoy: Me too.Modulo16: gently caress you! GIMMIE DEM COOKIES! *BLOODFART*  Modulo16: I am irreversiably loving stained, my disappointment is poo poo immesurable and my day is god drat ruined!Modulo16 flees to find bleech or maybe acid to burn the shame away.
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Feb 21, 2023 05:51
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I speaketh the truth 
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Feb 21, 2023 05:57
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Well I believe in the real Pope of Poop! Destroy the impoopster!
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Feb 21, 2023 08:48
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How have I not noticed McCoy wearing a skirt untill now?? 
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Feb 21, 2023 19:30
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Oof sorry for not being more active itt, i had a cold and I did not expect to make a camo! Glad you're feeling better. You're a parrot, clearly you held them with your feet while flying. I think Modulo16 is definitely going to need a new coat of paint.
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Feb 21, 2023 21:49
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 Oh yeah, the grasping feet. Can't even think straight.
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Feb 22, 2023 00:28
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…and that’s why they call me .random “Dark Plains” McGee!
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Feb 22, 2023 20:41
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This is still cool in case anyone is wondering
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Feb 23, 2023 19:12
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.random posted:…and that’s why they call me .random “Dark Plains” McGee! We're almost at the dark plains, your time in the sun is almost here (because you're a flower, geddit??) N. Senada posted:This is still cool in case anyone is wondering It really is. Great job Smik. 
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Feb 23, 2023 21:25
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Thanks for the kind words and my apologies for the slow update; my insomnia/depression combo is playing hell with me right now and killing my focus. The Three Heroes (plus two felines) have made their way through the Hills of Titties to the stinking Swamps of Nigmaetcetera.  Space Kablooey: Engaging hover mode. Secks Cauldron: Crikes what a stink. Staberind: Meow. War Crime Gigolo: JUST STAY ON MY HEAD. Bypopular Demand: *smugly hovers above the swamp* Poo in an Alleyway: Hello! I am Poo in an Alleyway. You seem to be crossing a swamp on your way to rescue a princess. Would you like help?□ Get help with crossing the swamp □ Just cross the swamp without help □ Many different users state that they do not like or want me posting Bypopular Demand: Where's the "gently caress off" option?Poo in an Alleyway: There is no gently caress off option, would you like help with that?Secks Cauldron: Look, we're at our party limit sweetheart.Poo in an Alleyway: Would you like help with expanding the party limit?Bypopular Demand: Listen...Poo in an Alleyway: Increasing the party limit requires an official declaration of war between Youareanelf and Dervinosdoom. Would you like some help with that?War Crime Gigolo: GO AWAY!Staberind: Meow!Poo in an Alleyway: You seem to be asking for me to go away. Would you like some help with that? Bypopular Demand: *bang* Bypopular Demand: Aw hell, no organs and that wire's too hard to hit. The Three Heroes + Felines have... well it's not a new party member, and it's not an enemy. It's... a clippit and it's going to follow them. With some resignation, they continue to trudge deeper into the swamps.
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Feb 24, 2023 05:43
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Apologies for the slow update; insomnia continues to wreck me Meanwhile, back on the Dark Plains of .random with the Dervinosdoom gang...  Dragoon EorayMel: Thank God for the Nitnen hot springs. Nothing like them to get rid of the funk of the swamps.Orange Cat: Better than cleaning myself with my tongue.Bloodfart McCoy: I'm still gonna smell like wet dog, but at least it's not wet dog plus swamp water.Bob Foot: I hear you there. Wait, are we really doing a 'hot springs' episode?Dragoon EorayMel: Naw. I mean considering we're all guys and none of us want to see the princess naked. I can't shake the feeling we're being watched though.Orange Cat: Watched?Bob Foot: Well that can't be right, we're dudes. In any hot springs episode, it's the dudes peeping on the ladies. Bloodfart McCoy: And the only lady we have with us now is the Princess, and she's terrifying. Dragoon EorayMel: AH HA! Come out with your hands up! ?: ... are you threatening me with your fingers?Dragoon EorayMel: YES! ... NO! OK Who's still armed?Orange Cat: I'm not bringing my ham shank into a bath, are you nuts?Bloodfart McCoy: I could bloodfart.Dragoon EorayMel: gently caress NO, not in our bath water! Bob?Bob Foot: I mean, I could show my rear end but I don't think she's much of a threat.Dragoon EorayMel: ... eh, point. What the hell are you doing??: Well it's a hot springs episode so obviously I am peeping.Dragoon EorayMel: You're a girl! You can't peep! Right?Orange Cat: I mean, she can. I don't care, I'm always naked. Anyone else?Bloodfart McCoy: I'm cool.Bob Foot: Yup. Sounds like a "you" problem, Dragoon.Dragoon EorayMel: ...  Lore Mistress: Also I'm a lore mistress! You guys want any hot lore?Does the Dervinosdoom want any hot lore? Pick something or she'll just tell you something random. Or we'll just see how the Three Heroes + 2 + clippit are doing.
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Feb 26, 2023 06:46
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What what I'm in this thread story archs??? What the gently caress
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Feb 26, 2023 08:13
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WAR CRIME GIGOLO posted:What what I'm in this thread story archs??? What the gently caress everyone gets their moment in my case, I also got a golden rear end cheek to covet, which is a heck of a good deal
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Feb 26, 2023 08:16
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Ha ha ha depression and insomnia continue to plague meDragoon EorayMel: Eh, I'll bite. Tell me some of the lore of the Four Heroes. Mistress of Lore: OK, I know a funny story about the "rogue", War Crime Gigolo! Originally he was just an ordinary giant in the land of giants that is Youareanelf, until one day he stumled across the great Fruit Ninja, Narfruito! Now normal ninja are cunning spies, but Fruit Ninja run around in bright clothing, use magic, and spend most of their lives narrating long, pointless flashbacks. Anyway, Narfuito challenged War Crime Gigolo to a duel, one thing lead to another and they kissed. Now normally when you've a man who'se never seriously kissed another man before, one does things like question one's sexuality. War Crime Gigolo however considered it inspiration to become a rogue, which means not only does he not know a ninja when he sees one, he's got no idea what a rogue is either. So basically, he's this huge dude who picks locks by tearing them apart, disarms traps by tearing them apart, picks pockets by tearing them apart, you get the idea. He's a one trick pony but he's really, really good at it. Dragoon EorayMel: This explains the princess. Mistress of Lore: ...yes. It would explain the... princess...More lore, or shall we see what the Heroes are doing?
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Feb 28, 2023 08:48
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More lore! 
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Feb 28, 2023 09:51
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Smik posted:Ha ha ha depression and insomnia continue to plague me Dude totally focuse on self-care instead of this thread if that's what you need. I'm sure we can wait. And yes to more lore! 
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Feb 28, 2023 13:00
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Dude totally focuse on self-care instead of this thread if that's what you need. I'm sure we can wait. Absolutely this
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Feb 28, 2023 14:59
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This is absolutely fantastic
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Feb 28, 2023 15:03
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why ain't I in this yet I posted twice you saving me for the final boss for something (don't say anything if so I want to be surprised)
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Feb 28, 2023 15:06
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Geemer posted:More lore! This Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Dude totally focuse on self-care instead of this thread if that's what you need. I'm sure we can wait. And this!
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Feb 28, 2023 15:58
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Geemer posted:More lore!
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Feb 28, 2023 16:55
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Dude totally focuse on self-care instead of this thread if that's what you need. I'm sure we can wait. I'd like to get in on this amazing story. But take care of yourself first. We will be here when you are ready.
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Feb 28, 2023 23:58
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flavor.flv posted:why ain't I in this yet I posted twice Each poster gets introduced as a location/obstacle/encounter/character in chronological order. Tijuana-A-Go-Go is ahead of you. For Lore I'm just going by order of whoever posted after the Lore Mistress showed up and asked. Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Dude totally focuse on self-care instead of this thread if that's what you need. I'm sure we can wait. I'm kinda lost right now and started this thread as a way of self-care since it would give me a creative outlet so my ability to work on it helps to act like a litmus test. When I'm in a good place I can easily do a few updates/day, and when I'm not even doing one a day is an effort. So I do want to push myself when I can, but thanks for the concern all the same. Orange Cat: My turn! I need to know more about Satan's Onions for... reasons. Lore Mistress: Funny story! All right, as you know vegetables don't have souls, but the familiars used by devils and faeries don't know any better and one living organic vessel is the same as another to them. So when a devil got tricked into taking a bundle of onions placed in a magic circle in place of a baby, they decided to turn lemons into lemonade -- or in this case, onions into the foulest tasting drink imaginable. The creatures known as "Satan's Onions" are surprisingly clever for an allium and can move swiftly through the soil, allowing them to pop up in the most unexpected of places. They emit an noxious odour when cut so if you have to get into a fight with one, blunt weapons work best although if you hit one too hard you're still asking for an eyefull of pain. Orange Cat: Is there any particular reason why they'd want gold, or an rear end, or a golden rear end?Lore Mistress: Donkey or buttocks?Orange Cat: Buttocks.Lore Mistress: To sit on.Orange Cat: Wut?Lore Mistress: They have a bit of an obsession with foul ordours, and a bum-shaped throne of gold is basically their biggest status symbol. Since a bum made of gold is hard to come by most will just melt down what they can find. Most coins aren't very pure so only the elite Satan's Onions will ever have a true butt of gold.More lore is available but I'm also going switch back to the Heroes as well.
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Mar 3, 2023 00:50
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Time to open a factory making gold plated bum thrones, for the middle classed devils.
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Mar 3, 2023 11:57
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I can picture the ads now. A devil sitting on a gilded throne with a nice plate of goatmeal.
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Mar 3, 2023 13:53
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Meanwhile with the Three Heroes, space cat android, cabbit and an outdated Microsoft helper as they trudge through the swamps of Nigmaetcetera...Cabbit Staberind: Meow!War Crime Gigolo: What's up?Secks Cauldron: The cabbit seems anxious.Space Kablooey: INCOMING!Bypopular Demand: There's some kinda of UFO coming at us. Tijuana-A-Go-Go: BORK! Space Kablooey: We're under attack by the SPACE DOGGOS!Bypopular Demand: I think... you're under attack by space doggos.The incoming recently identified flying object is indeed a space doggo, known for their flying machines and goggles! The craft zeroes in on Space Kablooey and launches a strange, spherical object... *SPLOOSH* Secks Cauldron: Are you OK? Space Kablooey: I am wet and my day is ruined. Poo in an Alleyway: You seem to be wet. Would you like some help with that?Space Kablooey: Sure, set yourself on fire and dry me off. Tijuana-A-Go-Go: BORK BORK BORK!Mission accomplished, Space Doggo Tijuana-A-Go-Go takes off into the distance. Just another day in the ongoing conflict of minor annoyance between the Space Cats and the Space Doggos.
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Mar 4, 2023 04:27
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Mar 4, 2023 22:03
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Oh man won't the water mess with Space Kablooey's electronics? 
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Mar 5, 2023 14:21
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:Oh man won't the water mess with Space Kablooey's electronics? Bloodfart McCoy: I wanna go. Just give me some random lore.Lore Mistress: I will tell you about how the reknown herbalist and Superman impersonator Geemer.Bloodfart McCoy: That is pretty random. Lore Mistress: Geemer hails from the Ghost Town near Youareanelf. Now unlike a normal ghost town, the ghost town of Yourareanelf is literally a town for ghosts. Normally they keep to themselves but there are distinct advantages of being a ghost herbalist. For one thing, the scream of the mandrake doesn't do anything to ghosts. Now the problem is ghosts can't do much in terms of physically interacting with the world, but that's what he's got his body for! Rather than possess it directly, he sort of hovers near it which is enough to make it immune to the mandrake scream. Bloodfart McCoy: I thought it was because he used a superman body.Lore Mistress: Nah. Besides, it's a superman impersonator body.Bloodfart McCoy: Why?Lore Mistress: People can have their own hobbies. Say, it's getting kinda late. You lot staying the night here like me?Dragoon EorayMel: Well...Does the Dervinosdoom stay the night and listen to yet more lore, or do they press onwards?
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Mar 6, 2023 16:08
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I love it! 
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Mar 6, 2023 16:52
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Meanwhile, the Three Heroes +2 and a Clippit continue to trudge through the marsh.Poo in an Alleyway: Your spirits seem to be low. Would you like some help with that?Bypopular Demand: This is the worst.Secks Cauldron: Never say that. A Flavor.flv Appears! Flavor.flv: What is this? A party of adventurers, critically short of MILFS! Secks Cauldron: What am I, chopped liver? Flavor.flv: BY THE POWER OF COLIN MOCHRIE! WHAT HAVE YOU WROUGHT, FLAVOR.FLV?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! : MRERROOOOWWWHISSS HISS HISS!Flavor.flv: OhGodOhNoOhGod I've made a terrible mistake. Poo in an Alleyway: You have unleashed an unspeakable horror. Would you like some help with that?I just want to point out I could have rolled a barbarian, a catgirl, or a robot catgirl and of course it comes up the damned clippit instead
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Mar 7, 2023 10:16
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lmfao
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Mar 7, 2023 10:34
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:lmfao
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Mar 7, 2023 14:02
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 I’m afraid to see what kind of help MILF clippit is going to give.
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Mar 7, 2023 15:13
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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Mar 7, 2023 15:24
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:lmfao
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Mar 7, 2023 15:25
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Not saying I'm into it, also not saying I'm not into it
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Mar 7, 2023 16:13
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Flavor.flv: Oh God Oh gently caress Oh God Oh gently caress...Bypopular Demand: Get back here motherfucker and fix this!Flavor.flv: I can't UN-MILF things, I can't fix this, I'm out.Poo in an Alleyway: Uwu.War Crime Gigolo: RUN AWAY!Secks Cauldron: RUN AWAY!Space Kablooey: RUN AWAY!Staberind: MERRROOOOOW HISS SPIT!Bypopular Demand: ... yeah fuckit, it's not like I can hit anything vital on a paperclip. While the Heroes + metafelines dash madly through the swamps, of course they've got no way to catch up to somewhat ethereal Flavor.flv. Meanwhile... Dragoon EorayMel: It just doesn't get better than this. After all the crap with the princess and the plains, hills, forest and swamp, we're almost home. Nothing could possibly...Bob Foot: You... really want to tempt fate like that?Flavor.flv: Oh God Oh gently caress Oh God Oh gently caress...Orange Cat: ... is that a rap genie having some sort of crisis?Lore Mistress: Yes.Flavor.flv: Oh God Oh gently caress Oh God... wait this looks like an adventuring party.Dragoon EorayMel: Yeah, what's your point?Flavor.flv: You got no MILFS. I can fix that.Lore Mistress: What am I, chopped liver?Flavor.flv: You with them?Lore Mistress: Well, no...Flavor.flv: I stand by my point.Dragoon EorayMel: Fucko, you're not gonna see MILFs because this is the men's side of a hot spring.Flavor.flv: I can fix that!You may choose: Flavor.flv, NO! Flavor.flv, YES!
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Mar 8, 2023 19:44
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