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I choose YES!
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Mar 8, 2023 19:47
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:39 |
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I flipped a coin to decide and it landed on heads which means my vote is yes
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Mar 8, 2023 19:48
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I vote lmao, by which I mean yes.
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Mar 8, 2023 21:47
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yes lmao go for it
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Mar 8, 2023 22:16
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Mar 8, 2023 22:24
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Yes
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Mar 8, 2023 23:42
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I…I wanna play too.
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Mar 9, 2023 00:28
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YES
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Mar 9, 2023 00:52
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YES
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Mar 9, 2023 03:21
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Flavor.flv: YES BY THE POWER OF COLIN MOCHRIE!  Dragoon EorayMel: What de gently caress.  Flavor.flv: Whoop! Lore Mistress: Really? REALLY? You pick the ONE guy with a potentially visible dick. This has been the worst peeping ever.Flavor.flv: Look, MILFing isn't an exact science. Least it wasn't a clippit this time.Lore Mistress: Wut? Dragoon EorayMel: I just wanna point out here that I'm not a mother so you should change me back.Flavor.flv: I MILF things, I don't unMILF them. OK Peaceoutbye!Dragoon EorayMel: ... well gently caress, this is going to be an awkward explanation to the king. Hey Lore Mistress, you wouldn't happen to know of anyone who might help?Lore Mistress: There's a Genesplicer living here on the Dark Plains of .random but you're going to have to get past the Karma Comedian first. Dragoon EorayMel: Welp, looks like we're making a detour. Don't stare at my tits. Orange Cat: I'm a cat. Bloodfart McCoy: I'm a dog. Bob Foot: No promises.
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Mar 9, 2023 04:34
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Uhhhhhh...sidequest unlocked? Also:  ^ | v =
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Mar 9, 2023 05:16
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Sidequest time! 
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Mar 9, 2023 08:26
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That danged genie has a serious problem using his power for good! And I happen to know that plenty of people actually want to get MILFed, why mock them with this mischief?!
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Mar 9, 2023 11:01
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lmao i wonder if we can get the clippit unMILFied just for the sake of all that's holy
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Mar 9, 2023 14:00
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Good luck adventurers!
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Mar 9, 2023 16:16
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The Bloak as Got on Top of Aunty Every body knows Aunty. Stoan boans and iron tits and teef be twean her legs plus she has a iron willy for the ladys it gets red hot. When your time comes you have to do the juicy with her like it or not. She rides a girt big rat with red eyes it can see in the dark and it can smel whos ready for Aunty. Even if they dont know it ther selfs the rat can smel if theyre ready. Time back way back after Bad Time there come playgs in the towns and they wer berning out the Badstock and the clevverness and that. Aunty she wer here and there and every where on her rat. She wer larfing and singing she wer doing the juicy right lef and senter she never got a nuff of it. Every 1 wer hiding out from her the bes they cud what ever hoal or shelter they cud fynd. It dint help them nothing that rat smelt them all out any how. Bloaks even if they dint think they cud get it up for Aunty jus 1 look from her and they wer ready. Theywd have ther go with Aunty but they never done it moren Ice. Ice Aunty clampt down with her bottom teef it wer Bye bye all bes no mor Trubba in this worl. There wer a bloak his wife and childer dead from the playg and them what wer berning out the town wer after him with torches. Flames jumping up behynt him he dint have much chance but on he run from 1 hoal to a nother. He wer so much out of Luck his numbers all gone randem and his progam come unstuck he startit in to crave for Aunty he cudnt think of nothing else. He fealt ready only he dint see no red rat eyes nor he dint hear Aunty coming. He gone looking for her then and calling to her he wer yelling, 'Come on Aunty Im ready for you and I want it now.' He mus not have smelt ready tho becaws the rat dint come after him. He begun to foller on the rat then. He wer faslegging it thru the berning looking for jynt rat poo poo til he cawt up with Aunty. He said, 'Drop your nickers Aunty you are for me.' Aunty larft she said, 'Whyd you come running after me do you have a iron willy or what?' He said, 'I dont have nothing special Im jus dying hard.' Aunty said, 'All right then but you mus let me get on top thats how I all ways do it.' When Aunty got on top of any 1 her stoan boans and iron tits wud crush them down and her bottom teef wud finish the job. This bloak tho he said, 'Not this time Aunty. Every thing else has got on top of me but I wil get on top of you.' Aunty larft and let him do it becaws she liket how he come running after her. That bloak never had any thing like it he dint know if he wer dead or a live he said, 'Am I dead now or what?' Aunty larft she said, 'No youre not dead becaws you got on top of me and I pult in my bottom teef for you. I done that becaws you dint hide you come running after me. Off with you now and keap in mynd nex time its arga warga for you.' Off he gone then he come to that place which now its callit Hagmans II. He seen a woman there she wer the 1st he seen since he ben with Aunty. He said to her, 'I done the juicy with Aunty and Im stil a live.' She said, 'Prove it.' He said, 'Iwl prove it right a nuff but wud you tel me 1st what do they call this place?' The woman tol him, 'Hangmans Hil.' The bloak said, 'Wel les call it some thing else now becaws Ive ben with Aunty and Im stil here. Jus a littl wyl back I ben ready to dy but now Im ready to live a littl and in joy with you so les call this place Hagmans Thril.' The woman said, 'If thats the name wewl do the same.' There wernt much else to do in that place it wernt nothing only smoaking runes dead bodys from the playg and nothing to eat. The bloak went with her then he went agen he went all day and all nite he woar his self out and tirely he cudnt put out no mor input. The woman fealt him going she said, 'Dont you fancy me no mor?' He said, 'It aint that its jus Ive overwent my self I think Iwl res a littl now.' She said, 'I think youwl res a littl longern you think.' He said, 'Whyre you looking at me that way who be you and whats your name?' She said, 'Who I am is Auntys saymling sister and my name is Arga Warga.' When the bloak heard that he tryd to run but he wer that woar out he cudnt move and she jumpt on him and et him up. From then on they callit that place Hagmans II. Hagman Hogman big or small Thats the end Ive tol it all https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddley_Walker
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Mar 9, 2023 18:23
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^ not sure what that is all about but you could be a great miniboss, or crazy/enlightened hermit mountain sage
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Mar 9, 2023 19:33
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The real antagonist pulling the strings from the sidelines
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Mar 9, 2023 20:30
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I wonder if that world famous character Detective gently caress will appear in OP's story.
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Mar 10, 2023 07:44
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By popular demand posted:That danged genie has a serious problem using his power for good! And I happen to know that plenty of people actually want to get MILFed, why mock them with this mischief?! I'm a lovely shot.Dragoon EorayMel: All right, let's go find this Genesplicer and get this sorted out.Orange Cat: All of us? This really seems more like a "you" problem.Dragoon EorayMel: Gonna be a bit complicated trying to claim our reward otherwise.Orange Cat: All for one and one for all!With that, the Dervinosdoom pack up their belongings and leave the hot springs. The stout owner gives Dragoon EorayMel a curious look but considering the imposing form the Princess she thinks better of questioning anything. Some time later the Three Heroes and their feline companions arrive, pursued in an unintentionally menacing way by Poo in an Alleyway.  Secks Cauldron: Oh Lord. Look, there's a hot spring. I know the propretier, c'mon let's head over. Space Kablooey: My form does not benefit from liquids, heated or otherwise.Secks Cauldron: Just trust me on this one. Jane, sweetheart! Are you a sight for sore eyes! Jane: Oy Secks, how ya doing girl? Ready to wash the swamp off ya? Secks Cauldron: The swamp and this thing. Jane: Wot the bloody fresh hell kinda clippit is that? Poo in an Alleyway: Uwu, it seems like... *WHOMP* Jane: No uwus allowed.  War Crime Gigolo: Oh thank the gods. So tired from swamp-running. Bypopular Demand: I didn't even have to swamp run and I'm already looking forward to a soak.More by formality than necessity, the group splits off into two, with Space Kablooey going into stand-by mode near a window to aborb the sunlight and recharge.  Lore Mistress: Oh my gosh! War Crime Gigolo! And he's even bigger in person!Secks Cauldron: You knock that off, he's with us. Lore Mistress: And he's got a cabbit on his head! It's adorable!Bypopular Demand: No creeping, tiny creeper. Especially since you seem to know who we are but we don't know you.Lore Mistress: Oh, I'm a Lore Mistress. It's part of my job description to be a bit nosey.Secks Cauldron: Speaking of, you hear anything about who kidnapped Princess Funky See Funky Do?Lore Mistress: Kidnapped? I was just soaking with her.Secks Cauldron: She was here?! And you sayin' she wasn't kidnapped?!Lore Mistress: She towered over the biggest members of their party. No way in hell they could make her do anything against her will.Bypopular Demand: Well... that explains the lack of struggle. Who's behind it?Lore Mistress: Dragoon EorayMel and his... er... her crew.Bypopular Demand: His/her?Lore Mistress: Some crazy rear end genie came by. Sounded rather distressed. MILFed the Dragoon.Secks Cauldron: Oh, we ran into that rear end in a top hat. He MILFed a clippit.Lore Mistress: ...Secks Cauldron: We still don't know why. From his reaction it wasn't on purpose. Can you tell us where they went off to?Lore Mistress: To see the Genesplicer of .random. The Dragoon didn't seem all that bothered by the transformation but they were more concerned with the administrative complications of a form change.Bypopular Demand: Stroke of luck. That's gonna take them way off course as far as getting back to Dervinosdoom goes. More importantly it means we can chill here a bit. Hey do us a solid and if you see a golden knight, let Sophy know what's gone down.Lore Mistress: Sure. Hey if you all plan to stick around a bit, did you want any lore?
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Mar 10, 2023 20:00
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Yes!
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Mar 10, 2023 20:12
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What if the lore is all false and it is to solely manipulate the heroes down the line 
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Mar 10, 2023 20:14
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Fantastic, also proceeds to lick myself. and please take it easy too.
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Mar 10, 2023 21:37
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Even if the lore is false I am interested in juicy gossip
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Mar 11, 2023 02:18
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Secks Cauldron: Hit us with some lore, honey. Lore Mistress: So I see you guys have a Space Cat Linux Mark E. The cosmic cats aren't a monocultural people -- there are several existing cosmic feline cultures. One ambassador lives with a certain Granny Toots and provides the occasional assistance to one Dr. Snuggles. Then there's the federation of Space Cats who provide crime fighting services in a place called the United States with the help of their D.O.R.C. (Disembodied omnipotent ruler of cats). The ones with the space cat linux mark E are from Freeplanet Independent ISC (Interplanetary space colony) who are locked in ... well, nothing like a war, but basically they're sort of doing this ongoing prank-based conflict with the space dogs of the Freeplanet Indepenent ISC. Finally there's the cats of the TEN (Third Eye Network). Apparently they operate some sort of critical metaphysical space-time network and they cross over to other worlds once a threshold of cat worship occurs on a parallel network. That's not even getting into the related families like the cabbits. Bypopular Demand: OK, so ... what's the point?Lore Mistress: Just saying that they're all basically cosmic cats, even though culturally they're vastly different from each other so don't be racist. It'd be like thinking Dragoon EorayMel has the same culture and values as War Crime Gigolo just because they're human.Bypopular Demand: Fair point. Treeko: My jaw hurts.Bypopular Demand: Finally let go of my rear end, huh?Treeko: I'd drown otherwise, you're sitting in a hot springs.
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Mar 12, 2023 06:31
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Go get a chewing gum and keep gently masticating Treeko, aching muscles tend to seize if you don't move them enough. And that's bad.
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Mar 12, 2023 10:09
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I'd forgotten Treecko was still with you guys.
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Mar 12, 2023 22:31
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Space cats, amirite
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Mar 13, 2023 06:57
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Meanwhile, far out in the Dark Plains of .random...Dragoon EorayMel: I'm kinda glad I wear a cloak and loose clothing, otherwise it'd get uncomfortable with my new hips and bust.Orange Cat: Do you miss your facial hair?Dragoon EorayMel: I do, I spent a lot of time waxing it. Princess Funky See Funky Do: I also miss it. When you were posing as a maiden all I could think of was how envious I was that you could grow facial hair.Dragoon EorayMel: ...Bloodfart McCoy: We should have asked the Lore Mistress about the Karma Comedian we have to get past in order to visit the Genesplicer.Bob Foot: I'm sure they're similar to the Karma Chameleon. They'll want to see if you were a man without conviction, and if you know how to sell a contradiction. You might want to wear the colours of red, gold and green.Dragoon EorayMel: ... they're from Mali?Bob Foot: They're the dream colours of the easy-loving.Bloodfart McCoy: I'm starting to think it might be easier explaining to the king that the Dragoon got MILF'd by a crazy genie.Princess Funky See Funky Do: No I'm with EorayMel. I'd hate be MILF'd. It's much harder to love trucks and beer and women as a MILF.Dragoon EorayMel: It's not, but I appreciate the sentiment. Look, that's gotta be Genesplicer's place.They had been walking towards the black monolith structure for hours, easily visible from the hot springs due to the fact that they were traversing plains. Now they were finally getting close. It was still another half an hour before they arrived at the front doors, where the Karma Comedian was waiting for them.  Karma Comedian: Well well, this is certainly a motley crew. What business do you have with the great Genesplicer? Dragoon EorayMel: I got MILF'd. Karma Comedian: And you're not appreciative of your new status, I take it?Dragoon EorayMel: It's going to be an administrative nightmare and we've got business with the King.Karma Comedian: King Wifi Toilet?Dragoon EorayMel: Who else?Karma Comedian: Well, you could have business with King AKZ of Corned Beef.Dragoon EorayMel: We're from Dervinosdoom! It's just beyond these plains, c'mon.Karma Comedian: Yeah and there's a reason why Genesplicer is in the plains just beyond that kingdom, you flatulent fools... and giants.Princess Funky See Funky Do: I'm a pretty princess.Karma Comedian: You're also big enough to frighten professional wrestlers.Dragoon EorayMel: Look, that's not the point. We're here to see the Genesplicer and to undo my situation, otherwise we're going to have an awful lot of explaining to do at the kingdom's gates. What do we need to do to see him?Karma Comedian: Well, let me just check your karma here... with the exception of convincing the princess to come with you, for the most part you send your minions out to deal with crap like they were pokémon.Dragoon EorayMel: I'm leader, that's what they do. Well except when the Princess goes HAM on someone.Karma Comedian: Except you got Dumb Sex-Parrot hit by a lorry and sexually assaulted by skeletal highwaymen. The laws of karmic comedy decree that you must deal with a Bison from the dark plains of .random. Alone.Dragoon EorayMel: Hey Princess...Karma Comedian: You try that and I'll invoke the Eldritch Powers of GET OUT.Dragoon EorayMel: gently caress.Karma Comedian: Bison from the Dark Plains of .random, I summon thee! D. Bison: Hello! What's this? You've called a woman to fight me? Karma Comedian: No, you're going on a date. D. Bison: Ha ha ha with a woman? Only on "Prevent the Extinction of Our People" Tuesdays.Dragoon EorayMel: I'm not a woman by birth, I was a man who...D. Bison: OK now that's hot.Dragoon EorayMel: Of loving course he's got some fetish poo poo. I loving hate you, Karma Comedian. This is possibly the worst...Karma Comedian: And now you know how Dumb Sex-Parrot felt.Dragoon EorayMel: God. Dammit. I regret everything.Princess Funky See Funky Do: Get me those panties, I love them!So this update took a long time because for the life of me I couldn't figure out what would be karmic comedy. I could have just done some random poo poo but I just felt that the phrase "Karma Comedian" needed some real oomph. I hope this suffices. Also we're not going into the details of the date but suffice to say Dragoon EorayMel took damage of some sort.
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Mar 14, 2023 18:33
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lol @ everything
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Mar 14, 2023 18:35
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Hey wtf my gifts are not for the pleasure of Chasers get that creep out of here
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Mar 14, 2023 18:38
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I don't even know what is happening or why we are on a quest anyway I'm just along for the ride
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Mar 14, 2023 18:40
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EorayMel posted:lol @ everything
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Mar 14, 2023 19:25
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karma has been meted out, truly i can heal now Also: EorayMel posted:lol @ everything
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Mar 14, 2023 19:56
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Secks Cauldron: You got any lore on the Dragoon of Dervinosdoom?Lore Mistress: Oh, of course! He's the legendary right hand of King Wifi Toilet. While most high knights assert themselves through martial might, the Dragoon EorayMel used his powers of persuasion.Bypopular Demand: That's how I got my job. That and carrying a piece. Occasionally stinging people.Lore Mistress: It's told that the Dragoon EorayMel has never had to draw a weapon, as he was able to either negotiate a solution or expertly command one of his troops.Bypopular Demand: He's that good? Lore Mistress: Not really, terrible reviews on Glassdoor but he's still King Wifi Toilet's #1 so he must be doing something right.
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Mar 16, 2023 04:46
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that, or nepotism
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Mar 16, 2023 13:56
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Mar 16, 2023 15:15
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eeoray's not the micromanaging sort of boss - at least that's a perk
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Mar 16, 2023 15:59
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Dragoon EorayMel: Here. I never want to hear about this ever again.Princess Funky See Funky Do: Yay!Bloodfart McCoy: My main attack is a blood fart and even I find this questionable at the least.Dragoon EorayMel: Let us up to see the Genesplicer now.Karma Comedian: Sure. They enter the monolithic tower and climb numerous flights of periously narrow stone steps to the top. There they enter the laboratory lair of the mysterious Genesplicer.  Genesplicer: Well hello there! Not too many people make it past the Karma Comedian. What can I do for all you strange people? Dragoon EorayMel: I got MILFed and then had to date a dark plains bison so if you can't turn me back I'm gonna send you to the ground floor the fast way. Genesplicer: Well aren't you the violent one? No matter, I have good news everybody! I can return you to your original form, thanks to my extension research on the phenomenon of avian and reptilian mammaries!Orange Cat: I thought the snake tits enthusiast got banned.Genesplicer: I'm not studying them for perverse reasons, I study them because they shouldn't exist in the natural world, just like platypeople! What the hell is a duck-billed warm-blooded milk-sweating egg-laying poisoned-spurred creature like that doing in our reality? The worst part is I still can't tell if it's the result of pure random chaos or by creative, intelligent design as a joke. It's like trying to tell the difference between sufficiently advanced technology and magic! Speaking of which, my gender-realignment device uses both advanced technology and magic, making it highly unethical and utterly unadmitable to both the scientific community and the society of wizards! The good news is that the incredibly illegal combination of technomagic carries an equally incredible price tag! You're going to need to cough up 100,000 Cookoins!Dragoon EorayMel: You want God-damned Youareanelf currency?!Genesplicer: Of course!Dragoon EorayMel: Why?!Genesplicer: Because it's hard to come by this close to Dervinosdoom!Princess Funky See Funky Do: I'll cover it! Cookoins are stupid currency!Dragoon EorayMel: Whew.Genesplicer: I'll also need a philodendron.Dragoon EorayMel: What?! WHY?!?Genesplicer: I did say it also runs on magic. I haven't had to run the thing in ages. While you go off to fetch me a philodendron I'll tune up the device.Dragoon EorayMel: Where the gently caress are we gonna find a philodendron? What even is a philodendron?Genesplicer: Go find BigBadSteve and ask him for one.Bob Foot: Oh, the reknown herbalist of Dervinosdoom!Dragoon EorayMel: Taking the short-cut down to just end this nonsense is looking really good now, let me tell you.
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Mar 16, 2023 19:56
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:39 |
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real talk I got a philodendron
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Mar 16, 2023 22:37
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