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The HP Pavilion DV Series. I would like to posit that this is the shittiest laptop of all time. 1) It overheated constantly. Dogshit thermals meant that it was too hot to use on your lap. HP eventually released a BIOS update to try to fix this, but their "fix" was to just ramp the fan up all of the time. So it became slightly cooler (but still hot) and really loud. Also the battery life went from lovely to more lovely 2) The trackpad was stuck in that inbetween period between single touch and multi touch. Synaptics eventually made a new driver that supported multi touch, but it was janky and never worked right. 3) You could get them with Blu-Ray drives, which was cool for their time, and played into their "DV" name, but they had terrible resolutions, with most of them stuck at 1366x768 or 1600x900, so you couldnt even watch a 1080 Blu-Ray at full resolution. 4) The worst, piss poor industrial design of all time. The abstract floral-ish pattern, the shiny, finger-print attracting plastic everywhere, the contrasting colors all over it. Garbage  
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Aug 4, 2023 14:36
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What a snype
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Aug 4, 2023 14:39
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ew that design looks like someone spilled milk on it in the thumbnails
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Aug 4, 2023 14:52
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WARNING this is not a laptop of honor no good deeds can be committed here we are not proud of this product
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Aug 4, 2023 14:52
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i recoiled at the shiny interior. why
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Aug 4, 2023 14:53
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Agile Vector posted:i recoiled at the shiny interior. why so you can never turn the monitor on
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Aug 4, 2023 15:24
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I remember when laptops were all made of that bendy plastic poo poo. Bad times. my work HP gets dangerously hot because its vents are in such a dumb place but I didn't pay for it so who csres
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Aug 4, 2023 15:26
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I shudder at the thought how many families were duped into buying this plasticky piece of crap as a "family laptop"
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Aug 4, 2023 15:39
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most hp laptops are absolute garbage and always have been
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Aug 4, 2023 15:55
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Beve Stuscemi posted:2) The trackpad was stuck in that inbetween period between single touch and multi touch. Synaptics eventually made a new driver that supported multi touch, but it was janky and never worked right. omg i had an acer notebook that had this exact same situation, the half-assed multitouch would gently caress up single-finger usage all the time but it was impossible to do multitouch it was a really bad laptop but my expectations were "slightly better than a phone with a slideout keyboard" so I really liked it until it got stolen; it was small enough you could hold it like a big hardback book to read pdfs 
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Aug 4, 2023 16:05
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laserghost posted:I shudder at the thought how many families were duped into buying this plasticky piece of crap as a "family laptop" Its me, im the idiot you're talking about, which is why I know so much about the specific ways in which that laptop was lovely. The aforementioned BIOS update made the fan so loud that I couldnt use the laptop in bed any more because it kept my wife up. And before the new driver came out to make the trackpad multitouch, the only option was a hacked driver from a forum somewhere that ironically worked better than the thing that Synaptics put out. I work in ewaste and that laptop just came in and gave me serious PTSD
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Aug 4, 2023 16:11
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a loud fan would help me sleep, unless it had noticeable oscillation in its speed, then that’s all i would be able to focus on
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Aug 4, 2023 16:17
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lol remember those Alienware gamer laptops that were absolutely massive and had a battery life of about 5 minutes? also external GPUs
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Aug 4, 2023 16:18
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oh gently caress I just remembered when some salesman guy turned up with an Acer Ferrari brand laptop in bright red with a Ferrari logo on the back and when you turned it on it made the noise of an engine revving absolutely incredible mid level sales energy lol
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Aug 4, 2023 16:19
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polyester concept posted:a loud fan would help me sleep, unless it had noticeable oscillation in its speed, then that’s all i would be able to focus on Not my wife, she needs something like the TV to fall asleep, and she focuses on white noise for whatever reason. The ironic part was that the bed was the easiest place to use that laptop, because it ran so drat hot, so if I wanted to relax and use it, I couldnt kick back in the la-z-boy with it, because it would fry my lap Then a couple years later the world got the ipad and poo poo like that was never a problem again
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Aug 4, 2023 16:20
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:lol remember those Alienware gamer laptops that were absolutely massive and had a battery life of about 5 minutes? thankfully the gamer laptop with hilarious battery life, massive sound and equally massive fan noise is a timeless aesthetic there's a weird external GPU resurgence happening lately thanks to the adoption of thunderbolt 4 and people trying to use mini PCs as hardcore gaming setups for youtube views Powerful Two-Hander posted:oh gently caress I just remembered when some salesman guy turned up with an Acer Ferrari brand laptop in bright red with a Ferrari logo on the back and when you turned it on it made the noise of an engine revving LGR on youtube has covered this thing before, its hilarious. also a lamborghini one because asus wanted some of that action too
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Aug 4, 2023 16:21
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I used to have an alienware with a 4th gen i7 and DUAL GTX 880M's in it. It was like 5 inches thick, and even with the reduced GPU power that it forced you to use when on battery, the battery still only lasted like 30 minutes if the GPU's were actually in use. If you kept it on the intel embedded GPU it was slightly better. The fact that it ran a desktop i7 didnt help matters. It was a monster for the time, but it was essentially a really small desktop.
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Aug 4, 2023 16:24
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oh god desktop processors in laptops lol I think I remember that we had one of those in the electronics shop I worked in that had a 1ghz P3 in it and that had about 15 minutes battery life and was basically a fire hazard
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Aug 4, 2023 16:33
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:oh gently caress I just remembered when some salesman guy turned up with an Acer Ferrari brand laptop in bright red with a Ferrari logo on the back and when you turned it on it made the noise of an engine revving My idiot father for some dumbass reason thought that getting two of these, used, was a good investment. One turned up non-functional and the second one ran like poo poo. He was always easy to hype for stupidest poo poo somebody wanted to get rid of lol
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Aug 4, 2023 16:40
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Beeftweeter posted:most hp laptops are absolute garbage and always have been huge pile
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Aug 4, 2023 16:52
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:oh god desktop processors in laptops lol the funniest thing I’ve found watching the current trend of windows xp laptop nostalgia is that the desktop pentium 4 got used in laptops a bunch because the mobile p4 was such dogshit
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Aug 4, 2023 16:56
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a few years ago, gaming laptop’s started drawing so much power that they needed 2 power bricks.
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Aug 4, 2023 17:05
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Beve Stuscemi posted:The HP Pavilion DV Series. I would like to posit that this is the shittiest laptop of all time. I had to work on dozens of these in my computer shop days how did they manufacture a laptop that was greasy, stright out of the factory Disgusting overheating pieces of poo poo, failing power jacks and nasty kid fingerprints covering all of them
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Aug 4, 2023 17:39
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:oh gently caress I just remembered when some salesman guy turned up with an Acer Ferrari brand laptop in bright red with a Ferrari logo on the back and when you turned it on it made the noise of an engine revving oh god thats so embarrassing 
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Aug 4, 2023 17:39
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there was this sales dude that joined one of the places i worked at (long long time ago) "hey jonny what laptop should i get? they said i get $x" "Well, for sales, I think a macbook air or low end pro is really classy, it'll never break, and the battery lasts a long time" "okay" Comes in the next day with this thing. "Got a great deal!" 
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Aug 4, 2023 17:42
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I think my biggest question about those Ferrari Acers is why the hell did Ferrari lend their name to that? you’d think they’d be more protective of their brand.
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Aug 4, 2023 17:46
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polyester concept posted:a loud fan would help me sleep, unless it had noticeable oscillation in its speed, then that’s all i would be able to focus on for whatever reason the sound of a HDD motor and the seeking sounds would help me fall asleep if i was using my laptop in bed or laying on the couch i could just shut my eyes and focus a bit on the whirrrr and the clicks, and i'd be out cold in a minute or two
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Aug 4, 2023 17:58
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:lol remember those Alienware gamer laptops that were absolutely massive and had a battery life of about 5 minutes? A college friend of mine had one of the first Alienware gamer laptops. The desktop CPU and GPU drew so much current that it could not run at full power on the battery alone. Even throttled down, as you note, it had like a 30 minute battery life. That's pretty dumb, but what really put the cherry on top was that the desktop hardware of that era didn't have BIOS-level power control. To throttle the CPU and GPU down to a level the battery could handle, they had a little taskbar program that ran in the background. Since this didn't load until windows loaded, the laptop would always start up at full power, which meant you could not boot it up on the battery. Once it was running and logged in you could unplug it and carry it around for half an hour, but if you shut it down without a power supply handy you were out of luck. 
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Aug 4, 2023 18:05
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late-era blackberry had a design relationship with porsche it went about as well as everything else late-era blackberry did
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Aug 4, 2023 18:09
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Beve Stuscemi posted:I think my biggest question about those Ferrari Acers is why the hell did Ferrari lend their name to that? you’d think they’d be more protective of their brand. i'm guessing they bet that the kind of people who buy ferraris would never mingle with the kind of people who would buy a ferrari acer
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Aug 4, 2023 18:12
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kitten smoothie posted:for whatever reason the sound of a HDD motor and the seeking sounds would help me fall asleep if i was using my laptop in bed or laying on the couch yea i kinda miss the clicks tbh, idk felt like stuff was happening also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF4GPKaOIWk
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Aug 4, 2023 18:16
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FMguru posted:late-era blackberry had a design relationship with porsche i had one of those lacie "porsche design" external hard drives.
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Aug 4, 2023 19:46
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too bad there's no real reason any more to track down the old bmw x thermaltake collab
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Aug 4, 2023 20:02
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Jonny 290 posted:there was this sales dude that joined one of the places i worked at (long long time ago) hey hey what the gently caress
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Aug 4, 2023 23:46
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this was mid 00s too so it was a p4 fusion plant. just screaming fans and 27 minutes on battery.
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Aug 4, 2023 23:49
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that looks like a standard sales guy laptop to me
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Aug 4, 2023 23:59
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that's what i'm saying
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Aug 5, 2023 00:00
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there was a sales guy at my old job who kept breaking his stuff (by throwing computers out of windows, running them over, etc.), so he always had POS laptops like that
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Aug 5, 2023 00:04
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if it was the p4 era then it would be ibooks and powerbooks
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Aug 5, 2023 00:23
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 16:28 |
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Roosevelt posted:there was a sales guy at my old job who kept breaking his stuff (by throwing computers out of windows, running them over, etc.), so he always had POS laptops like that king poo poo on pavilion chat, the desktops were righteous turds too. every fall at gatech.edu a bunch of freshmen would show up with them and they all defaulted to workgroup name and computer name "pavilion" so they just poo poo all over each other until a volunteer resnet computer janitor like me came by and changed it for them.
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Aug 5, 2023 00:24
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