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  • Locked thread
Jan 26, 2013
Empathy (810 Words)

Kaito stared unblinking at the ocean, his rusted wheelchair pulled all the way to its oscillating blue edge. I would watch him, willing him to do something in my mind, a word, a smile, a twitch, anything. But my brother was focused, waiting for his dolphins and had no care for my petty desires. His atrophied hands were curled in on themselves like rolled leaves, his limbs dead bug stiff.

I watched the sun fall into the ocean, felt the sea foam brushing across my cheek.
Nothing stirred in me, not even anger. Not anymore.

No dolphins today; I stood to take him home.

The fishermen nodded as I went by, gawked politely at Kaito when they were sure I wasn’t looking. The last remains of a family so hosed over by the gods must be an interesting thing to look at, or so I had heard.

We got home, and I cleaned Kaito up then put him to bed. I sat down at my desk with one broken leg propped up by a pile of forgotten engineering textbooks. The annual hunt was tomorrow. I would be a man and at least for a while forget everything. Live in the moment I could still have that at least.

Kaito wouldn’t like it but he didn’t have to know. Not that he ever truly knew anything. My brother had died inside before he was born. Drove our mother away, led our father to drink and a dishonorable death. And all he ever wanted to do was stare at the dolphins. That was the only thing he could think about.

I greeted the morning sun as Kaito slept in his bed, and made my way for the waters.

The ocean smelled of metal, crimson tides lapping at the edges of the cove. Boats far and wide cut swaths through the churning waters. Here people were equal, we could hunt like in the days of old when times were simpler. There was honor in providing for the village.

I took an old boat I rented from elder Nobu and took my grandfather’s rusty harpoon. The engine came alive with ten pulls of the cord and off I went shrouded in a cascade of erupting cinnabar tinted mist.

I stopped the boat away from the others, and trained my senses of the waters around. I let myself fall in tune with the surroundings, listening to my own breath as I hefted my harpoon up and waited for a target.

A dolphin broke up through the red water and splashed around. In an instant I hurled my harpoon at the noise and it flew into the dark, missing it. I cursed and began to pull the instrument back in, the rope slippery in my hands.

The dolphin for its part bobbed up and down awkwardly, listless. It was alone, none of its pod here to accompany it. If it was trying to get away it did a poor job of it instead it made circles in the water. I watched it thrash, quietly, as I pulled my rope back.

As soon as I had got the harpoon back into my hands it became quiet. I turned to see if it had managed to get away but it was still there. It stared at me, completely unmoving. I stared back. The dolphin’s color was off, faded, it looked dirty even despite the filthy water. It wobbled its fins crookedly, the misshapen things were too small, barely able to keep it afloat but somehow they did.

I lifted the harpoon up, the dolphin a sitting target now but it still made no attempt to flee. My arms tensed up, my knuckles bone white where my fingers grasped the body of the spear. I stood there watching it, the withered thing, the sounds of water lapping at the boat all that I could hear.

A boat came over on a distance, its engine kicking up torrents of water and air as it blitzed by. The men cheered and hollered at the sea, and I saw as one took aim at the water and fired.

The harpoon struck the dolphin in a flash of red, yet it didn’t make a sound. It didn’t even seem to notice. It stared at me as the rope behind the spear snapped taut and then it was gone, dragged away into the frothy red waters.

I stared long after it, into the impenetrable waters. At some point my harpoon fell to the deck. Boats full of dolphins shrieking and writhing as the sun dried their lacerated muscle and exposed viscera. Slowly I turned my boat around, and at some point I came home.

Kaito was calling me and I went to him.

He asked in his a-melodic stuttering way if we were going to see the dolphins today. And I hugged him tight.


Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.
:siren: Submissions for Week LXXIX: Periodic Stories of the Elements are now CLOSED! :siren:

It looks like all the toxxers managed to slide under the wire, so good on you, even if you've deprived the rest of us of our schadenfreude. The chemical experiments of The Leper Colon V, inthesto, Anathema Device, and Max22 have led to naught but empty air. We wish them the best in their future endeavors.

Note: This is a lie. We wish instead for their grant money to be revoked and their tenure denied forever and ever. I'll write a crit for them if they post within 24 hours anyway, as is my wont.

As for the rest of you, the judges are reading as fast as they can and will aim to have results out on schedule.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."

Since I'm still awake out here and have a public holiday tomorrow, I'll try my hand at some crits, at least of some of the ones I've read (so many entrants):

V V V E: Welp, thanks for pointing that out. I'll repost them once the judgements are in. V V V

Lead out in cuffs fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Feb 10, 2014

Erogenous Beef
Dec 20, 2006

i know the filthy secrets of your heart

Lead out in cuffs posted:

Since I'm still awake out here and have a public holiday tomorrow, I'll try my hand at some crits, at least of some of the ones I've read (so many entrants):

Hey, quick note. Critting is awesome, critting is good, we love crits. It's also kinda bad form to post crits of the current week's stories before the judgment is in, especially if you participated.

Oct 23, 2010

Legit Cyberpunk


Google Image Search the year of your birth. Write up to 200 words on the first picture it finds.

As usual, this goes until the new prompt is posted, anyone can crit.

May 7, 2005



Brother's Burden
200 Words

"My recommendation is immediate termination, sir," Surveillance Lieutenant Gregor said.

Sedition Commander Peters thumbed through Gregor's report. "I'd like to keep monitoring this Edgar Wills. He may lead us to more disloyal saboteurs. What does he do mostly, when he's not slandering the Republic?"

"He, um, he looks at pornography. And he, you know."

"That's his main activity?"

"Yes sir. He's a real deviant, this one." Lieutenant Gregor cleared his throat. "Many of the men I monitor do unspeakable things when they're alone. As you know I've been on monitor duty for several years now sir, and if I may speak frankly, I believe I've shown superior dedication and loyalty to the Republic. Is there any chance for a promotion? I believe I would be more valuable to this great nation in a more substantive role."

Commander Peters looked the young haggard officer up and down. "You're a good soldier. Keep it up. One of these days, there may be something for you. That's it for now. As you were."

As the Commander left, Lieutenant Gregor gazed longingly and the pipes crisscrossing the ceiling of his sub-basement monitoring station and wondered again how much weight they could hold.

Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

sebmojo posted:


Google Image Search the year of your birth. Write up to 200 words on the first picture it finds.

As usual, this goes until the new prompt is posted, anyone can crit.

seb here's your picture

Aug 2, 2002





Not Pictured: Todd Duffy

The Lunar and Planetary Institute Internship

Jan Brewer
183 words

Psh. That is such a typical Todd move. Yeah yeah, you’ve shocked all these young ladies and gentlemen by being up there, but don’t expect me to be impressed. It’s still a little entertaining, I’ll give you that. I mean, I can’t help but have just a bit of a smile on my face watching you zoom around up there.

But did you have to do it now? After I did your mom a favor by letting you join our group even though you didn’t have the qualifications. You’re lucky her and I go all the way back to freshman dorms. Just come down please. We’re trying to take a picture. Don’t you see the man over there? We made him stand in the fountain and everything.

Todd, you’re wearing on my patience. Ugh. Todd. Get down. Those aren’t ready yet, and we have no idea how long they’ll last. I’ve got a Tupperware party with your mom later this week and I don’t want to have to give her bad news again.

Are you going to come down? No? Well ok then.

Lloyd "Diesel" Adams
199 words

I don’t give a gently caress about Todd. I don’t care if he dies. Kid is nothing but trouble if you ask me. I didn’t go to four years of cop college to babysit kids in the sky. I am here to supervise another crop of nerds. Keep ‘em safe. “Vital to defeating the Soviets.” Bla bla. Bunch of spoiled brats if you ask me. We already went to the goddamn moon, what else is there? Why do we need rockets? B-52s can protect this country more than those pencil pushers ever will.

Yes, I know Todd’s still up there. I’m not doing poo poo. My contract specifically states that my duties are Earth based. The sky is your realm, nerds. I’m just gonna stand here until the man with the camera tells me I’m free to go.

Then I’m gonna head back home, change my clothes, and head on out to Cabooze. That’s right, I got the James Brown tickets. I don’t care if he’s old and washed up. I’m going there to meet African women. That’s all that’s on my mind right now. A tall dark woman with a big ol’ butt. I don’t give a gently caress about Todd.

Kevin Sherman
196 words

Wait, so like. That’s Todd? The little guy? The one with the talking limp? Is that what’s called? No? Well you know, like when he talks he just kind of limps, but with his mouth. Well, it’s some sort of word disability anyway.

Is that how he got into the sky? No? Ok, just making sure. I don’t understand things like disabilities, so I didn’t want to say something to make me look stupid, you know?

Whatever, I’m proud of the little guy. If a kid like that can have the balls to strap on a pair of jet shoes, what’s to stop a normal person? And by normal person I mean one of us who doesn’t sound like farts are coming out of our mouth when we talk.

I just don’t understand how he’s gonna get down. All of our simulations are based on water landings, and this fountain’s a little low. Sorry about that Todd; I got real absorptive pants. My friend over at MIT gave ‘em to me as a gag gift because he said I peed the bed all the time. I don’t, but dang if they aren’t comfy as all heck.

Akio Hosokawa
?? words




Kathy O'Malley
185 words

Well I’ll be. I thought the jet shoes were only for animals, not that young boy. I mean, why else did we get all them chimps shipped to us? Well, I reckon I’ll just have to find another use for them. I don’t know why they made me in charge of the animals. Although they did talk about animals a lot at my interview. Perhaps they were confused by my degree in Animalology, the study of tree bark. I didn’t correct them because I figured they just liked animals.

But now Todd has gone and messed everything up. Maybe if he doesn’t crash I’ll still be able to strap some of those monkeys to those shoes and see what happens. Although there isn’t really any scientific findings to be had, now that we know they work.

I hope I don’t have to kill all those monkeys. Sure I’ve killed a lot of trees in my day, but this is slightly different. For one, trees don’t scream. Or move. Those drat monkeys are so hard to catch. It’s like they understand what that hammer is for.

Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.
:siren: Week LXXIX Results: Periodic Stories of the Elements :siren:

Two contenders for the loss stepped forward this week and wrestled as hard as they could for the losertar's embrace. The brawl for the win was a far messier affair, vicious and protracted, leaving no one unscathed--but here in the Thunderdome we do like our unrestrained bloodshed. Though it took some time for the judges to determine which front-runner knocked out the most teeth, we have witnessed the mettle of all, and we are pleased.

THE WINNER: God Over Djinn. Your writing was beautiful, elegant, and professional, your use of your element flawless. You handled your flashbacks with admirable grace. Two judges agreed that Margaret's story would have been better told in chronological order, however. This nearly cost you, but in the end your skill could not be denied.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: crabrock, you came a very close second due to the emotional power in your entry and your mastery of saying things between the lines. If your writing had been less ragged around the edges, you might be sitting on the Thunderthrone now, so please think hard before you put your first paragraph in the present tense and the rest of the story in the past again.

curlingiron, your entry didn't match the technical merit of Djinn's or the subtlety of crabrock's, but there's nothing about it I didn't enjoy. It was fun, it was charming, and it hit the prompt and your flash rule dead center.

Chairchucker, I like your funny entries best as a rule, but your interpretation of arsenic was indirect, simple, and elegant. This experiment with format and narration paid off for you.

Fumblemouse, you did good work with a difficult element and handled your flash rules with aplomb.

THE LOSER: El Diabolico. It took some doing to be the worst in this round, but by God you managed it. Your story isn't only deadly dull, it isn't only badly written, it not only makes little sense, but it doesn't have a conclusion. What were you thinking? The world may never know.

DISHONORABLE MENTION: elfdude, I know you must have wanted this loss rather badly, but you made the mistake of including a resolution. I'm sorry.

DISHONORABLE DISQUALIFICATIONS: Do you know what to steer clear of when the prompt says no speculative science fiction? If you are Meinberg, Quidnose, or Seldom Posts, apparently you do not.

Thanks to all our chemists for a strong round with strong work for the judges to argue about. My crits will be a few days delayed due to the number of entries; my co-judges will let you know their thoughts as spite and spirit move them.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."

OK, I'll post my very inexpert crits now.

Junipercake's Empathy: You've integrated the theme of ocean ecocide with the direct effects of mercury poisoning in a powerful and hard-hitting story. This is one of the stronger ones (that I've read) in terms of capturing the feel of the element. The parallel between mercury-stunted dolphin and mercury-stunted brother was a nice touch. However, your writing could be a little tighter, and you have some glaring grammatical errors: "Live in the moment I could still have that at least."? That's two separate sentences, and they're not even in the same voice!

God over Djinn's Fruits of Her Labors: This piece was beautiful and wistfully captures the feeling of helium. I'm also a big fan of stories jumping around in time, which you handled with aplomb. About the only withering criticism I can think of is that "elicited" is something you do to a sigh or a smile, not to the look someone puts on while watching a heart attack. A well-deserved win!

Dreamingofroses' Precious Gems: This is a neat idea, and the serial killer appropriately horrific. But ... it doesn't go anywhere. The only "drama" is that she loses her source of contract killings, and she resolves it with more killing. Your story needs to end.

Martello's LOGPAC: While I'm sure you've done a great job of capturing the "months of boredom" aspect of war, your story could have used a few "moments of sheer terror". Seriously. It goes nowhere, and has no solid theme beyond some vague wishy-washy "war, what is it food for?" sentiment. Plus it's full of blue-ballsing. Your IED goes off, but nobody gets hurt. There's conflict between the US and Afghan troops, but nothing comes of it. The guys who placed the IED don't even feature. And where is your element? Please tell me it isn't the nitrate in the fertiliser-based explosive in the IED.

If Chekhov could take the most boring and mundane aspects of 19th-century Russian peasant life and turn them into compelling stories filled with plot and interesting characters, then so can you with your war experiences.

Crabrock's Growing Cold Together: OK, another wistful and sad meditation on death. What is it with this week's theme producing these? I can't think of much bad to say about it, though.

Flaky's Alley Deals: I'll review this because I was going to take francium. I'd like to know how, given the least stable naturally occurring element; the substance so effervescent that it self-vapourises from the heat of its own radioactive decay; the heaviest of the halides; the missing element of the 1800s; how, given all those amazing story hooks, you managed to come up with this badly punctuated turd about a guy getting ripped off on Craigslist?

Benny's Oracle: Special mention because your E/N thread is always a great source of schadenfreude. Your story has already been ripped to shreds there, and even generated fan-fiction. Let me just say, though, that a) this is the kind of work that leads you to believe you could be an English professor? and b) this is the result of a year spending an hour every day writing instead of looking for a job? This turd?

Also, please don't actually kill your parents.

Mar 5, 2004

I need to get more weird/creative with my stories; if I can't get the best, I need to miss the bar far enough to get the worst, and I'm not getting either so far. Here's hoping, much like Icarus did, I can use this week where I'm moving house to write a story a little better or weird and worse than last week.

No Longer Flaky
Nov 16, 2013

by Lowtax
Here's a line by line crit since you were helpful and decided to crit my piece.

Lead out in cuffs posted:

Welp, here goes. My Thunderdome debut (element is osmium):

Heavy Metal Roses (1109 words)

Ted smiled confidently at the new co-op student, admiring how her fitted lab coat accentuated her curves. A little lacking in the breast department, but even in the harsh light of the transmission electron microscopy lab, her face had a certain ... fuckability. Definitely an eight, maybe even a nine. 'Julia.' He repeated to himself. It was important to keep their names straight. He'd been kicked in the nuts more than once for crying out the wrong one. Crying out the wrong one? In bed? he's not in bed right now, why would a new student get upset if he told her the wrong name? Or was she not a new student?

'Focus, Ted, time to get your game on.' Did he say this, or was it thought in his head? The orientation tour afforded plentiful opportunities for openings. Plus, he actually needed to get her set up so he might just get some productive academic work out of her. 'Haha, I'll get some work out of her all right!'Is he mumbling this or is the ' ' an inner thought marker?

He gestured to the ugly 70s-green linoleum lab room. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but what shade is 70s-green? Is it faded cause it's old, or is it some kind of psychedelic green?

"We're in the sample prep area. I'll run you through the details of the protocol when you shadow me through it starting tomorrow, but before then, I need to impress something on you."

"This", he held up a sealed ampoule containing what looked like a broken piece of test tube, "is osmium tetroxide, which we use for staining TEM sections."

He leaned in a little. This particular pep talk was one of his favorites, the thrill of danger a sure-fire aphrodisiac.

"We use a lot of nasty chemicals in the TEM lab, but OT is by far the worst. In fact, it's one of the deadliest you'll find anywhere. The vapor pressure is huge, so it gasifies almost instantly, and binds to tissues even faster, coating them permanently with osmium metal. And I mean permanently. Osmium is ultra-stable, so once it sticks to cells, there is no getting it off."

He watched her face blossom into the first satisfying signs of unease as she processed the implications.

"You breathe that vapor in, and it coats the inside of your lungs. The best part? You don't even realise until hours later, when the pulmonary edema sets in and you die."

He gazed into her deep brown eyes as they grew wider and more beautiful.

"The word osmium is from the Greek for smell, since it's supposed to smell pretty strongly. But the toxic effects are orders of magnitude stronger. If you can smell it, you're already as good as dead."

Satisfied with the effect, he decided to round out with a subtle neg.

"So you keep those delicate hands steady," he punctuated this with a light touch, "and stick strictly to the safety guidelines while you're using it."

The rest of the tour was pretty mundane stuff for him, but Julia was still bright-eyed enough to lap it up. He slipped in a little more game, and arranged to meet her later to "discuss research" over coffee.

Ted sauntered back to his office and sat down at his immaculately kept desk. Unlike the other PhD students in the department, he knew that it paid to keep things tidy. He'd closed with more than one target on that desk, and there would be nothing more mood-killing than a naked rear end getting stuck on half-eaten pizza. Not that those other slobs would ever have that problem.

He unlocked his computer and fired up the GradPUAs chatroom. It was pretty empty, but his buddy Sam from chemistry was on.

PhysicalChemistry: Ted! How's things hanging in EM land?
StickingItInTEM: Pretty good. The new co-op student Julia is in an advanced stage of preparation, if you know what I mean. ;)
PhysicalChemistry: Dude, you have got to stop sarging on your co-op students. It's gonna land you in trouble.
PhysicalChemistry: As if you weren't in enough already, bro. What the gently caress went on with that Cynthia chick? She's spreading poo poo about you everywhere.
StickingItInTEM: Hey, I just had to get a little assertive with my kino escalation to get past a little last minute resistance. Sure she was holding back a little, but her subcommunication said she was all over it.
StickingItInTEM: Besides, man, that deer-in-headlights look they get in their eyes is almost as good as the closing.
PhysicalChemistry: Haha you are terrible.
PhysicalChemistry: But seriously, what happens if she goes to security or the cops?
*StickingItInTEM does the dying swan*
StickingItInTEM: Then woe is loving me.
StickingItInTEM: Really, though, what's she gonna say? *She* came home with me. She was obviously asking for it. And she had a loving great time, whatever she may say now.
StickingItInTEM: Besides, as far as the law goes, it's her word against mine.
PhysicalChemistry: Whatever man. I just don't think your pretty rear end would last five seconds in jail.
StickingItInTEM: Do you think this is the first time I've had to deal with this? Trust me, she has nothing. gently caress her. Again. :D
PhysicalChemistry: Anyhow... I gotta go grade some papers. Try and stay out of the wrong kind of trouble.
StickingItInTEM: Yeah I gotta go up my game with target:co-op student over coffee. I am gonna be bumping up against that sweet rear end in no time. ;) Later!

Ted stood up and preened for a few minutes, admiring his lean face, high cheekbones and prominent jaw in the mirror he kept hidden at the back of the cupboard. He was a handsome guy, and sometimes he wondered whether he really needed his game. But hey, he knew a ton of other good-looking guys who were just average frustrated chumps. Foregoing the game was the path to oneitis and misery.

Slicking his hair back, he started getting his mind in gear for Julia. Demonstrating higher value was so easy with co-ops, especially the ones directly under him. As a PhD student, he was everything they aspired to be, and they worshipped the ground he walked on. Closing with her should be a cinch. What exactly is a co-op? If she's an undergrad that's progressed to working under grad students, then she probably is used to working with dangerous chemicals, so the whole osmium tetroxide point wouldn't really work on her. At least that's what I'm thinking as a layman on this stuff.

Satisfied that everything was in order, Ted opened his office door and stopped short. Lying alluringly on the floor was a spray of deep burgundy roses. He barely noticed the shift in the wrapping as he scooped them up to read the tag's ornate lettering: 'To Ted, lustfully yours'. It was signed only with a lipstick print.

'Such a sweet gesture! A little gay, maybe, but really sweet.' He just wished it hadn't been so obtuse by being anonymous. He'd have to do some careful cold-reading around every target and gently caress buddy he had going to avoid a crash and burn.

'Whatever', he thought, lifting the bouquet to his face, 'I can deal with that later'. He inhaled deeply, dismissing the faint chlorine overtone ('who would put bleach on flowers, anyway?'), filling his lungs with the cloying, sensual fragrance of rose petals and promises of sexual conquests to come.Above you say that osmium tetroxide smells strongly, which it doesn't here. If he were a chemist then he'd probably be aware of what it smells like, or at least the warning signs of a possible spill of osmium tetroxide, especially since he works with it a lot.

And osmium.

This piece is all right. It has too little action, the guy talks to a girl, is a piece of poo poo that doesn't feel bad about raping a girl and then he gets poisoned and doesn't know it. There's very little action. His friend's reaction to his admittance of rape is not very well described, I understand that that's hard over a messenger service like msn messenger, but maybe not having the two interact over a messenger service would have done better for your story. As it is it seems like his friend condones his lovely behavior, and then the MC is poisoned out of nowhere by this unnamed rape victim.

Osmium is in your story so that's good, but using it as the main thing that gets girls horny for him makes little sense to me. The kind of people that would be working under him would be scientists, and they would be aware of the proper protocol of working with dangerous chemicals. So them being immediately horny over a dude who works with one doesn't really make sense.

No Longer Flaky fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Feb 11, 2014

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards
Thunderdome LXXX: "Why don't you ask your huge cock?"

Tell me a story about your life. It can be poignant, it can be hilarious, it can be sad, whatever you like. What it can't be is self-deprecating or self-aggrandizing (unless you want to lose).

Q: Is it okay if I just make some poo poo up?

A: You'll only be cheating yourself. That said, I welcome stories that are metaphorical, hyperbolic, or otherwise magical.

Q: Nothing interesting has ever happened to me.

A: Then write about something uninteresting, and use the magic of writing to make it worthwhile.

Word count: 1300. Please don't use them all unless you have to.

Time zone: PST.

Deadlines: Signups - Friday 10pm, entries - Sunday 10pm.

Nota bene: If your story contains one whiff of whiny woe-is-me bullshit, I will give you something to be sad about. You have been warned.

Your honorable judges
- me
- the ferocious Tyrannosaurus
- the gracious Fanky Malloons


Cold blooded killas

No Longer Flaky
Meinberg :toxx:
Mad Wack
Whalley - something valuable gets destroyed. Not depressing
Starter Wiggin
WeLandedOnTheMoon! - protagonist is holding something
Little Mac
Sitting Here
Mister Morn
The Leper Colon V :toxx: - someone gets something they don't deserve
sebmojo :toxx:
Iron Crowned
Crab Destroyer
Jay O
curlingiron - at/around a dinner table
Ugly In The Morning
Ursine Asylum
Nettle Soup
Black Griffon :toxx:
Comrade Black
Sparrow - Genghis Khan
Lead out in cuffs
SurreptitiousMuffin - has a valid excuse involving internet censorship, banks, airplanes, and a loving volcano
Erogenous Beef - Sodom Has No Pause Button
Barracuda Bang!
Nikaer Drekin - something that hasn't happened yet
Anathema Device :toxx:
Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi
Benny the Snake


God Over Djinn fucked around with this message at 07:16 on Feb 15, 2014

No Longer Flaky
Nov 16, 2013

by Lowtax
I am in.

Also, Djinn I am legitimately scared for our brawl. Please go easy on me (not really).

Jul 19, 2011

Sure, I'm in.

May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch
In for my 50th.

Mar 22, 2013

it's crow time again

Yeah sure I'm in and I'll probably even give more of a poo poo about myself than I did about iodine

Jan 11, 2014


With a fascinating story where I lie on the sofa whole day and eat a pack of crisps.

Oct 9, 2011

inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)
Let's give this a shot. I'm in, and with a :toxx: again, with an additional clause that if I DQ again, that I can go gently caress myself.

Mad Wack
Mar 27, 2008

"The faster you use your cooldowns, the faster you can use them again"
Hi! I'm in and I haven't written anything since college! Looking forward to joining you all in a fun and lighthearted competition! :kimchi:

Mar 5, 2004

gently caress it, I'm in. Let's get real with me. I'm terrified.

Starter Wiggin
Feb 1, 2009

Screw the enemy's gate man, I've got a fucking TAIL!
Do you know how crazy the ladies go for those?
Count me in.

Dec 17, 2003

Stand down, men! It's only smooching!


If I can't write a story with a plot about my life I am a schloob.

a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009

A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly

Signing up.

Jan 3, 2006

Super Mario Bros 3


Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Congrats Djinn and all other HMs. This was a tough week to judge! Which is great. I will have crits up within the day.

Aug 2, 2002




You reach your hand out and grab your bike helmet. You swing it at Gus, hitting him right in the nose. Blood pours from his nostrils and you push him off of you. He rolls around on the ground, screaming that he will murder you. You throw your helmet in the bushes and jump on your bike, pedaling away as fast as your scrawny legs allow.

You take your seat at the back of the class, where for once the hamster cage doesn’t make you want to vomit. It cost you a chance at asking Molly to the dance, but the lack of stench puts you in a strangely good mood.

You rehearse your introduction to Molly in your head until the bell rings for lunch.

You see the glop they’re serving for lunch and decide to skip. On days when you eat a large breakfast it’s not so bad to just wait until you get home rather than risk eating the cafeteria food.

Molly is sitting alone with her book. You spot her friend Shannon in the lunch line, and decide that now is your only time to strike. You march over to her.

She puts down her book and looks up at you.

You stand above her a confident man: standing up for what’s right, cleaner of stinky cages, smiter of bullies.

“Hi, I’m Jake.”

She smiles back. “I know that, silly.”


She pats the grass. “Here, sit down.”

You sit.

“What happened to your face?” she asks.

“Oh, I got in a fight.”

“With who?”


“Oh my god, and you’re still alive?”

“I won.”

“You’re as crazy as you were in kindergarten,” she laughs. “Do you remember sitting next to me?”

You think back. There was a cute girl that you had sat next to for the first half the year. Was that really her? “Of course I remember,” you lie. Adrenaline still courses through your veins from the fight, and you feel like you could take on the world. Let Molly throw whatever she had at you, you were ready for it.

“I thought maybe you had forgotten me,” she says. She looks down at the grass and picks at it. “I had a little crush on you.”

“I know,” you lie again. Inside, your stomach churns with excitement. This would be easier than you thought.

Molly looks up at you and smiles. “I kind of still do, I guess.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you looking at me a few times,” you say.

Molly’s cheeks turn red. “Oh, you did? I thought I was being sneaky.”

“Nope. Anyway, I came over here because I wanted to ask you something. Do--”

Somebody yells “heads!” and you look up to see Gus running at you, watching a football over his shoulder. He trips over you, faceplanting into the lawn. He stands up, his nose still black and blue.

He scrambles to his feet and holds up his hands, palms facing outward. “Whoa, I don’t want no trouble. It was an accident.”

You take a step toward him and he turns and runs.

Molly’s friend Shannon runs over. “I saw that crash, are you alright?”

“We’re fine,” you say, speaking for both of you. “Gus won’t be bothering us again.”

Molly stands up and touches your arm. “You were about to ask me something?”

You wanted to get to Molly when she was alone, but you realize you’re not afraid anymore. “Oh yeah, would you like to go to the dance with me?”

Molly hugs you. “I’d love to!”

“We can catch each other up on what we’ve been up to since kindergarten.”

Shannon sighs. “I guess I’m on my own for movie night then.”

“Sorry Shannon,” says Molly. “There’s somebody out there for you, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” you reassure her. “You’ll meet somebody some day.”

Molly grabs your hand, and you walk her back to class and make plans to pick her up tomorrow night.

crabrock fucked around with this message at 07:45 on Aug 4, 2014

Mister Morn
Feb 9, 2012

I don't write fiction, I don't post in CC, and I'm not necessarily comfortable telling stories about myself, so obviously I have to be in this.

Rat Patrol
Feb 15, 2008

kill kill kill kill
kill me now
gently caress it, I'll give it a try. In.

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards
My prompt made Blood Queen Sitting Here swoon :swoon:, my work here is done.

(And Flaky, I'm comin for ya, better get those big boy trousers on.)

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
In. I keep backing out every time I don't do this, so :toxx:!

And if you're up for it, GoD, can I have a flashrule?

Oct 23, 2010

Legit Cyberpunk

In w/a :toxx:

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards

The Leper Colon V posted:

In. I keep backing out every time I don't do this, so :toxx:!

And if you're up for it, GoD, can I have a flashrule?

:siren:Flash rule: In your story, someone gets something they don't deserve.:siren:

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
gently caress it, count me in

Crab Destroyer
Sep 3, 2011
I'd like to give this a try, count me In.

Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

I am in. I haven't written outside of technical documents for too long.

Jay O
Oct 9, 2012

being a zombie's not so bad
once you get used to it
In, let's see what dumb poo poo I can dig up from me youth.

EDIT: christ, there's a lot of entrants so far, right off the bat.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

God Over Djinn posted:

:siren:Flash rule: In your story, someone gets something they don't deserve.:siren:
So, basically my whole life, then. Got it.

Feb 20, 2013
I am stupid and once I broke an ice machine at mcdonalds and everyone screamed at me and I almost went to jail and I also hate myself but most importantly I am in.


Aug 2, 2002




Crab Destroyer posted:

I'd like to give this a try, count me In.

trigger warning.

this was my safe space :(

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