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Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.






Smellrose

Jim Bob

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Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Amarcarts posted:

I know what a bottom is but what's a power bottom? I know I could look it up but I think everyone needs to know.

It's a dude who only takes it up the butt, never the opposite, and he is greatly dedicated to and skilled in assomancy.

Think of it as a prestige class for the bottom base class.

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



Pvt.Scott posted:

It's a dude who only takes it up the butt, never the opposite, and he is greatly dedicated to and skilled in assomancy.

Think of it as a prestige class for the bottom base class.

this makes a lot of sense now, thank you.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014



Windows 98 posted:

Josh Duggar was having an extra marital gay relationship with that Dentist who killed that lion

I will read this crossover fanfic but only if you do a self-insertion where you torture baby monkeys with the dentist.

The Rage
Jun 28, 2007

I got my Magnum condoms; I got my wad of hundreds. I'm ready to plow!





Demon Of The Fall posted:

"Anna loves him despite his flaws. She takes their vows seriously. She's a good woman. I'd probably be the same way."

My fianc tonight lmao

lol terrible, good luck

EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot


Demon Of The Fall posted:

"Anna loves him despite his flaws. She takes their vows seriously. She's a good woman. I'd probably be the same way."

My fianc tonight lmao

sounds like a keeper to me

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Your fiance has just told you that she'd tolerate you loving other women and possibly children. I recommend taking the high road and sounding out if she's down for a threesome.

Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004


blank check for mayhem son, see how far you can push it since it doesn't seem like you like her much anymore

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Uncle Wemus posted:

blank check for mayhem son, see how far you can push it since it doesn't seem like you like her much anymore

I'm actually moving out this weekend since she became physically abusive last night. Oh well.

Viruswithshoes
Mar 26, 2007



Ars Arcanum
Jan 20, 2005

Best friends make the best weapons

Demon Of The Fall posted:

I'm actually moving out this weekend since she became physically abusive last night. Oh well.

Was it over you laughing at her idiocy regarding the Duggars? Because hosed up if true

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




My wife and I used to watch the Duggars together and her reaction was "that boy is fuuuuuuuuuuucked uuuuuuuuuuup." and then some mumbled mention of myself and Lorena Bobbitt.

Quote-Unquote
Oct 21, 2002



Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Please please Jesus someone who's better at coming up with funny lyrics than me do a "Perfect Dugg"/"Perfect Drug" parody.

You make me hard
when I'm all soft inside


... oh wait.

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.


I envy all the terminology and hanky code type stuff that gays have.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

Ars Arcanum posted:

Was it over you laughing at her idiocy regarding the Duggars? Because hosed up if true

No it was something different but I did respond to that quote with "well Anna is a loving moron" and she threw out "so I guess I'm a loving moron too?" and I shrugged haha.

Ars Arcanum
Jan 20, 2005

Best friends make the best weapons

Demon Of The Fall posted:

No it was something different but I did respond to that quote with "well Anna is a loving moron" and she threw out "so I guess I'm a loving moron too?" and I shrugged haha.

Sounds like you're better off leaving, tbh. Good luck.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009



Demon Of The Fall posted:

No it was something different but I did respond to that quote with "well Anna is a loving moron" and she threw out "so I guess I'm a loving moron too?" and I shrugged haha.
Oh wait she was serious when she said that? Yeah run, run fast run far run hard. I thought that was sarcasm because I didn't think someone was actually that dumb.

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

LethalGeek posted:

Oh wait she was serious when she said that? Yeah run, run fast run far run hard. I thought that was sarcasm because I didn't think someone was actually that dumb.

Haha no she has some dumb views because of her religiousness. One of the biggest reasons we have issues.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"


Demon Of The Fall posted:

Haha no she has some dumb views because of her religiousness. One of the biggest reasons we have issues.

I was going to bust your balls for being engaged to someone who supports the duggers, but now I'm just sad for you sounds like moving out was a good idea!





















Jim Bob

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

Rollin' and wheelin'
Stealin' and dealin', Big Jim Bob
Bol Weevil, it's a pleasel
It's a pleasel, my weasel, Big Jim Bob
Big Jim Bob

What's the biggest thing
You ever did done see? Big Jim Bob
I mean, what's the biggest, biggest thing
You ever did done see? Big Jim Bob

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014



Ramrod XTreme

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat



Grimey Drawer

What the gently caress does a Satan fortress in your heart even mean? That's not Lucifer sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear. His first draft was literally, "I am a minion of the Dark Lord."

Maybe the 'heart' part separates this from the mind. Because if I was a God-loving Christian, I'd think twice about taking advice from someone so full of Satan he's got moats, parapets, and maybe a tower or two dedicated to the Fallen Angel. Perhaps he's trying to say, "it's okay guys, all that talk about hating people different than you - that's God's word from my M-I-N-D! Satan was only in charge of this DC!"

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001



Buttcoin purse posted:

I will read this crossover fanfic but only if you do a self-insertion where you torture baby monkeys with the dentist.

Look if we are doing crossover fanfic then write about Jared, the lost Duggar child

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007




Excerpt from Satan Fortress:

This is a chastity belt. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. It menaces with spikes of Jeezus.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014



Ramrod XTreme


happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

Krispy Kareem posted:

What the gently caress does a Satan fortress in your heart even mean?

It means he spanked the monkey more than Micheal 'Monkey Spanker' the Mental Patient in the Masturbation Olympics.

OMG JC a Bomb!
Jul 13, 2004

We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

I should have seen it from the start
Satanic fortress in your heart

-"Satanic Fortress" Black Sabbath (1971)

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014



Ramrod XTreme


jill bob

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013


Don't know if it's related or just hilariously poorly timed but Hilton Hotels are pulling their pornography channels from the hotel rooms due to complaints about their "availability".

Indubitable Leg fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Aug 21, 2015

Buffer Overflow
Sep 3, 2006
Interweb Addict

I wonder how many kitchens Josh is going to have to build this time.

Grey Fox
Jan 5, 2004



I wanted it to be real so bad.

boom boom boom
Jun 28, 2012

by Shine



Sex traffickers use pornography to sell prostitution. It's all connected

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON


Buffer Overflow posted:

I wonder how many kitchens Josh is going to have to build this time.

None. He didn't break any laws this time and the cat's already out of the bag so they don't have to awkwardly cover it up.

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008



Just once, when one of these religious guys is exposed as a sex-loving guy/girl, I just want one of them to say "yeah, I like sex. It's totally cool. And I'm not sorry."

I mean, the cheating on his wife isn't cool, but porn and sex are totally fine.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Tony Perkins of Family Research Council

quote:

Last night we learned from online reports about allegations concerning Josh Duggar and then read his confession today. We are grieved by Joshs conduct and the devastating impact of his pornography addiction and marital unfaithfulness. Our hearts hurt for his family, and all those affected by Joshs actions. His deceitful behavior harms his family, his friends, his former coworkers, and the cause he has publicly espoused. Those of us who advocate for family values in the public square are held to a higher standard, and Joshs failures serve as a painful reminder of the destructive effects of not living with integrity. We are praying for the family.

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001


Cum see what the Veggie Tales get in to after dark at http://fetlife.godtube.com

Grey Fox
Jan 5, 2004



fart blood posted:

Just once, when one of these religious guys is exposed as a sex-loving guy/girl, I just want one of them to say "yeah, I like sex. It's totally cool. And I'm not sorry."

I mean, the cheating on his wife isn't cool, but porn and sex are totally fine.
That would basically require them to shed everything in their lives (friends, family, career) that's tied up in the web of morality bullshit they've built.

Not impossible, but it's unlikely given their authoritarian and puritanical tendencies that require a massive amount of self-loathing to be "fulfilled."

edit: I shudder to think of the ranging boner Tony Perkins got writing that holier-than-thou statement

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




It all comes full circle

quote:

If Anna has been adhering to her mother-in-law Michelles top marriage tip, she will have said yes to sex whenever her husband has wished to have it regardless of how tired she may have been. Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, Michelle, 49, told TODAY Moms in an interview last year, citing a friends advice. You always need to be available when he calls. Both Michelle and Jim Bob said the advice has been a lifesaver in their 31-year marriage. However, the couple added that there are times when they have chosen to abstain from sex. They did not get intimate in the 80 days after Michelle gave birth to each of her nine daughters. And they abstained from sex for 40 days following each of their 10 sons deliveries, it is reported. The parents of 19 also do not engage in sexual activity when Michelle is on her period. These sex-less stretches, which are loosely based on Old Testament traditions, are beneficial to Michelle and Jim Bobs marriage and make them look forward to [sex] even more, Michelle said. So, if Anna and Josh have been following the couples advice, they will have abstained from sex for 80 days in 2009 after the birth of their daughter, Mackynzie Rene, and for two 40-day periods following the deliveries of their sons, Michael James and Marcus Anthony, in 2011 and 2013. They will also be currently abstaining from a physical relationship after welcoming their fourth child, Meredith Grace, into the world on July 19, amid controversy over Joshs molestation scandal.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

That 40 day versus 80 day abstinence depending on gender is weird af.

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Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004



Nap Ghost

It's the woman's fault. Like clockwork. These people are so disgusting.

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