Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY

watching an anime about how people actually play this card game, sweaty dudes shuffling cards silently back and forth, does not sound remotely appealing

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Vandar
Sep 13, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?





Charles Bukowski posted:

Ive been watching GX for the first time and whenever someone gets hurt by a monster attacking them directly I lol. Its so stupid.

You would have a heart attack watching Arc-V.

MR. J
Nov 22, 2011

Chuck and Fuck


Raserys posted:

watching an anime about how people actually play this card game, sweaty dudes shuffling cards silently back and forth, does not sound remotely appealing

AlphaKretin posted:

Tbh I'm not sure what else you could possibly expect from an anime about a card game. The stakes are obviously gonna escalate and they're not just gonna drop the focus of the show when it happens.


Raserys posted:

when I outgrew yugioh the first time, I remember also thinking that card games determining the fate of the world was dumb, but now, as a jaded adult sustaining himself on nostalgic media, I think it owns and is good

You people are missing my point. I said the problem with this game, as in Reshef of Destruction. I didn't mean Yugioh altogether. I should've been clearer.

Raserys
Aug 22, 2011

IT'S YA BOY

that's like, the whole franchise though, so i dunno what you would expect them to do

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003



Grimey Drawer

When I play the tcg with friends I say the names of my cards aloud and with pride. 'I play Dark Cubic Lord, CRIMSON NOVA IN ATTACK MODE!!!'

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


Reshef of Destruction, part 8



So. Marik Ishtar. If you can't beat this guy now, hell, even if you can, you are not going to survive Reshef of Destruction's endgame. He has dozens upon dozens of horrible surprises. Monster Reborn. Swords of Revealing Light. Widespread Ruin. Three copies of each of these even though the game prevents the player from doing that. No more pretending to even think about being fair.



You're gonna need every broken card you can fit into your deck. Luckily, I picked up a pretty good one. Remember Petit Moth? This card evolves into Larvae Moth if it survives a turn, then Cocoon of Evolution the next turn, and finally, the 2600-attack Great Moth. But it has to survive, so surely the CPU would just destroy it, right?



Well, barring just stalling with lots of traps, there are ways to mis-direct the AI. Petit Moth stays face-down through all of its evolutions, and the AI goes for face-up monsters first. If it does get flipped somehow (I attacked directly with it in this case, oops) the CPU will also go after "bigger" threats first, in this case, a 3000-point cartoon dragon.



Once you reach the Cocoon stage, it's really easy to survive the next turn because you have 2000 defense points now.



Then you get 2600 attack points and well, you're pretty much invinc--



MOTHERFUCKER HE HAD A FIRE MONSTER! This game!



DIE, MARIK ISHTAR, DIE!



I sure as poo poo better! I've been through enough of this! I want to get this overwith so I can play a good card game...SOLITAIRE.



He really does look like a giant chicken, come to think of it.



Finally. All three God cards...oh right, Kaiba has the other one. But let's have a look at Ra.



He's 100% the same as he was in Sacred Cards. Same type, same lame effect. It reduces your LP to 1 and does direct damage equal to the amount of LP you lost. In fact, considering what goes on later in the game, Ra's effect is even more worthless.



Marik points out that Ra has another mode in addition to Sphere Mode and Battle Mode: Phoenix Mode, which was not made into a real card until much later in the TCG's life.



However, Marik doesn't know how to change the piece of paper into a slightly better piece of paper, there's a "Secret" to it. Only Marik's evil side knows it.

You guys are going to loving love what the big "Secret" is...but we have to wait a little longer to see what it is.



Back to Simon. Now will you tell us where Pegasus is?



MOTHERFUCKER. Come on! Just let the game be OVER already!



He walks off-screen to the right and tells us to chase him.



Oh look, a Millenium Guardian. Guess we have no choice.



Look at this. You see how big these monsters are?! It just gets worse and worse!



Fortunately, he only has 3000 LP, and we get two prizes, one of them being Kuriboh.



Did I mention there are FIVE OF THESE ASSHOLES?! And of course, exiting to restore your LP is just out of the question, they all respawn if you do!



The second jerk gives us Time Wizard. The third gives us Giant Soldier of Stone, the fourth gives us Celtic Guardian, and the last one gives Curse of Dragon.



This coming from a loving Forbidden Memories character is just about the most insulting thing I can think of.



But see, there's another puzzle here, the prize cards we got mean something.



Hey Simon, I don't know if you noticed, but the world is kind of IN DANGER AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Don't you think we should not gently caress around like this?!



oh no I guessed incorrectly and got sent back to the start

and I don't care.

Why?



Because the five Millenium Guardians frequently award formerly Ritual Monsters as prizes. These sell for BIG BUCKS. The fixed prize cards aren't too shabby either.



So even if I have to repeat those same duels over and over again, at the very least, each duplicate card I get can be worth a good chunk of money, letting me abuse the gently caress out of the card passwords.



So, Simon asks which card should "come first" and which should "come last". Then Yugi points out that we recieved the monster cards by order of level, i.e. Kuriboh is level 1, Time Wizard is level 2...but at that rate you may as well have just asked what the order we got them in was.



Oh, of course, let's make it SIX opponents in a row without saving as opposed to just five.



gently caress NO, he has THAT?! Change of Heart permanently steals one of your opponent's monsters, unlike in the TCG where it only lasts one turn, and even then it's been banned for over 15 years considering the number of ways it can be abused. Luckily I got the Winged Dragon of Ra out: God cards are immune to Change of Heart.



I'm still gonna win, but I feel like I got spat at in the face. Stealing Mammoth Graveyard means its effect is now working against me! And Gods aren't immune to that effect! At least 3500 is still way too many attack points for it to matter.



Oh my god, Joey just said what I was about to.



NO poo poo HE IS! WHERE DID YOU THINK HE WAS!



Oh, of course. Quick, make up something so the player feels like they didn't just waste all their time! Of course Simon is completely bullshitting you anyways, as you'll soon see.



Me and me alone, considering Yugi and Joey don't do anything helpful in this game at ALL.



At the very least, I think it's rather fitting for this game's finale to take place where Duel Monsters got its true beginning. Before we go, let's grab some more cards.



Vampire Lord is summoned instantly if it's in the graveyard at the start of your turn. Since the graveyard only tracks the most recent Monster card sent there, it would either have to be the last monster destroyed on the enemy's turn, or you just discard it on your turn and summon nothing else, taking whatever direct hits your opponent can deal. Or whatever you can come up with. It's a nice card.

Trap Master is the same as he was in Sacred Cards, making him a very good card, though you'll notice his Cost increased since then. Looks like Konami noticed how overpowered he was too!



SEE? I TOLD YOU SIMON WAS BULLSHITTING YOU. If we needed Simon to remove the magic barrier, how did Kaiba know and how did he get so far ahead before we did?! So anyway, we need to ride that gondola up to the castle.



Joey, he used a magical artifact to read everyone's minds in order to win. He's a CHEATER.



These assholes jump us and demand a duel rather than just pulling a gun.



Been watching a little too much Despicable Me, eh Pegasus?! Oh sorry, "Sol Chevalsky"?



They're not terribly strong opponents, but do you see anything wrong in this picture? Like, maybe how many Life Points they start the duel with?! That's right, they start with TEN THOUSAND!



And after you beat the first one, you get to do it AGAIN.



Fortunately it's just two of them. But you're not out of the woods yet.



These two show up. You can duel one of them. They both start with 15,000 LIFE POINTS. But the insane amount of health is only a minor issue.



They have DIRECT DAMAGE, and after the previous two duels I had so little LP left that they nailed me with it on the FIRST TURN. I hate this so much.



After beating them, they then become self-aware and realize if they just force us to duel endlessly, eventually they'll win and send me back to my house.

Well what else is this line supposed to imply?



Remember when you chose to duel with either Yugi or Joey at the start of the game? Whoever you didn't pick keeps the two bozos busy while you advance with the other one. Hooray! Joey's finally useful!



That's also the first "checkpoint". You can save and pick right back up where you were. Or even go back in the gondola and fight the "Chevaliers" for whatever reason.



This is the first screen of the Dungeon. Pick a direction and duel your way in.



The second screen has an opponent that is oddly optional...you could just walk right past him. Strange.



No such luck on the third screen. The other path isn't much different aside from the background.



Why are you asking ME? Why don't YOU do it? You did it before, and he doesn't even have the Millenium Eye this time!



Time for another tag duel with these two. They haven't really changed aside from starting with 15,000 LP like PaniK and the clown did.



This game is mocking me with its prizes, I swear.



Hm, have we seen this animation yet?



Oh no! A two-tribute monster you can kill in one hit with a Dream monster!



Or did he follow it up with the Dark Magic Attack spell card?



Then there's a flashback. Hey, remember this scene? Whichever duelist you chose to fight with will be in this scene too. Boy do I wish I had quit the game back then!



Yugi stays behind to keep the Paradox brothers busy. There's another enemy you can skip here for some reason. Maybe they realized that many duels would be excessive and made a chunk of them optional at the last minute...nah, it's Konami, so they probably just messed up.



That's the second checkpoint, and thank goodness it's there.

Now is a REALLY good time to quit, because the worst is coming up here.



Oh no. Simon. This can't be good.



He says there are six imposters up ahead, and to unmask them we need six "Spirit cards".



In other words.

This late in the game, when the climax is right in front of us, we have to go back, challenge ALL SIX duelists the imposters are imitating, and defeat them all AGAIN to get their six most favorite cards.



Because if you don't...



You're forced into an endless purgatory of regenerating opponents.



WELP, YOU HEARD WHAT SIMON SAYS.

This is the most pointless filler I've ever seen. This is worse than Arc-V. Oh, and everyone got deck upgrades too.



Please help.

Herr Tog
Jun 18, 2011




Grimey Drawer

you've won, we have seen the eye patch sprite Yuta-boy

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


I thought the cards were in order of attack points when I first got there.

Also, woo, Pegasus' evil pickle monsters! Tens of thousands of Life Points! Padding out the rear end!

Curious question: given that Yugi and Joey stay behind to duel their opponents, how awkward do you think it is for the player character to have to walk right back past both of them because they didn't happen to have the six prerequisite plot cards that they needed to enter Pegasus' castle?

Also, how the hell did Kaiba get in if you need those cards to infiltrate the castle?

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Apr 13, 2017

Fionordequester
Dec 27, 2012

Actually, I respectfully disagree with you there. For as obviously flawed as this game is, there ARE a lot of really good things about it. The presentation and atmosphere, for example, are the most immediate things. No other Yu-Gi-Oh game goes out of the way to really make


Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Also, how the hell did Kaiba get in if you need those cards to infiltrate the castle?

Pfft, like he hasn't done THAT before:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkMhyIJnJAg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD75dgZmsUE

Fionordequester fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Apr 13, 2017

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.



what the hell are those pickles thing

MightyPretenders
Feb 21, 2014



It'll always be Joey who stays behind first, and Yugi who takes on the Paradox Brothers. There are other variants to the flashback - besides teaming up with Joey in the beginning, picking the other conversation option now instead has Yugi flashback to Atem's brief appearance after the Bandit Keith battle.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!



Man, the art style for the original anime got a lot worse after Battle City.

Speaking of ridiculous plays, here's a non-edited one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80fbdQBwbO4

Robindaybird posted:

what the hell are those pickles thing

The Chevaliers, minions of Sol Chevalsky.

I hope you don't want an explanation beyond that, because the game doesn't give one.

MissileWaster
Jul 2, 2007

Remember that one time you totally botched that snap?


Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Man, the art style for the original anime got a lot worse after Battle City.

Speaking of ridiculous plays, here's a non-edited one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80fbdQBwbO4

Wow, there's a lot of recycled animation just in this 3 minute clip.

I had stopped watching the anime long before this duel so I'd never seen that. I mean, credit to the strategy, it falls in line with other rule bending the anime and manga do, like using Brain Control on Revival Jam as it was reviving. But I mean it's still pretty god drat stupid.

Ephraim225 posted:



You're gonna need every broken card you can fit into your deck. Luckily, I picked up a pretty good one. Remember Petit Moth? This card evolves into Larvae Moth if it survives a turn, then Cocoon of Evolution the next turn, and finally, the 2600-attack Great Moth. But it has to survive, so surely the CPU would just destroy it, right?

I think Weevil got his hands on the Millennium Rod and took over Ephraim's mind. Or the Konami offices. I don't think there will ever exist another context in which Petit Moth would be considered 'broken'.

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


MissileWaster posted:

I think Weevil got his hands on the Millennium Rod and took over Ephraim's mind. Or the Konami offices. I don't think there will ever exist another context in which Petit Moth would be considered 'broken'.

Does Duelist of the Roses count? (Granted the Cocoon itself is the card doing the hard work in that context)

MissileWaster
Jul 2, 2007

Remember that one time you totally botched that snap?


Ephraim225 posted:

Does Duelist of the Roses count? (Granted the Cocoon itself is the card doing the hard work in that context)

I was a Nintendo child growing up, so Falsebound Kingdom was the only console Yu-Gi-Oh I got to play. How is Cocoon of Evolution broken in Duelist of the Roses? Is it just that it has 2000 defense and can hold out until Great Moth?

AlphaKretin
Dec 25, 2014

A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!



The game plays out like a SRPG and Weevil's AI is programmed to hide it away in the corner of the board. It's also on terrain that boosts it to 2500. You can rush him before it hatches well enough though.

Fionordequester
Dec 27, 2012

Actually, I respectfully disagree with you there. For as obviously flawed as this game is, there ARE a lot of really good things about it. The presentation and atmosphere, for example, are the most immediate things. No other Yu-Gi-Oh game goes out of the way to really make


MissileWaster posted:

I was a Nintendo child growing up, so Falsebound Kingdom was the only console Yu-Gi-Oh I got to play. How is Cocoon of Evolution broken in Duelist of the Roses? Is it just that it has 2000 defense and can hold out until Great Moth?

At least you weren't missing much. I mean, I actually LIKED Forbidden Memories (hence the red text)...but that's very much INSPITE of it's quality, rather than because of it

Honestly, if Ephraim does decide to go ahead and do some rebalance patches, I'd much rather see what he could do with Forbidden Memories instead of Reshef. And maybe see if someone else could add new mechanics, story content (mainly so that the Present Time isn't such an afterthought), and etc., etc.

Fionordequester fucked around with this message at 07:57 on Apr 13, 2017

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


Fionordequester posted:

At least you weren't missing much.

Bullshit, Duelist of the Roses is amazing. The board game element they added means monsters live longer, which is great for Cocoon of Evolution. You can hide it in a corner until it evolves!

quote:

Honestly, if Ephraim does decide to go ahead and do some rebalance patches, I'd much rather see what he could do with Forbidden Memories instead of Reshef. And maybe see if someone else could add new mechanics, story content (mainly so that the Present Time isn't such an afterthought), and etc., etc.

You're asking the wrong guy for that. Go find the people behind Forbidden Memories 2. All I can do is alter enemy decks and the drop rates. And people have done plenty of that already.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


Using Cocoon of Evolution was my favorite thing to do in Dark Duel Stories, especially since there would rarely be a time that someone would have a 2000+ ATK monster attack it before it could turn into Great Moth and then Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth.

I don't think I ever built up the Deck Capacity to use it in this game. And even if you did, have fun with everyone using Change of Heart or some trap card to destroy it.

Edit: Oops. Got my games mixed up. I did enjoy Duelist of the Roses, though. The Immortal Monsters were just ridiculous. Not to mention Aqua Dragon.

Not to mention the gorgeous backgrounds.

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Apr 14, 2017

raisamike3
Oct 13, 2012


WHY?!
Just why would anyone do this?!?
This is such terrible game design that I can't believe it's real.
Yugioh games can get pretty tough but this is straight up impossible.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


Would you believe it gets worse?

raisamike3
Oct 13, 2012


Hobgoblin2099 posted:

Would you believe it gets worse?

See. when Marik started bringing in multiple copies of broken cards, I thought that.
When random enemies started doing the same, I thought that.
Now that enemies have thousands more LP that they ever should, alongside broken cards, multiple battles in a row with crappy rules, and of course the endless padding; I believe it can only go down from here.

I'm Scared man

Fionordequester
Dec 27, 2012

Actually, I respectfully disagree with you there. For as obviously flawed as this game is, there ARE a lot of really good things about it. The presentation and atmosphere, for example, are the most immediate things. No other Yu-Gi-Oh game goes out of the way to really make


raisamike3 posted:

Now that enemies have thousands more LP that they ever should, alongside broken cards, multiple battles in a row with crappy rules, and of course the endless padding; I believe it can only go down from here.

I'm Scared man

Pfeh, you think THAT'S bad? Just wait till we get to the post-game bosses !

The Watercrown
Feb 10, 2014

We Shall Become Gods

We Shall Become Gods

WE SHALL ALL DIE AND BECOME AS GODS


I have a prediction. The post game bosses will have 30,000 LP, every monster will have 1800 minimum attack and defence, and they'll have 6 copies of all those really good magic and trap cards. The only way to win is draw a full Exodia hand at the start of the match. Also, it's a chain of five battles, so you need to Exodia Obliterate right off the bat, five times in a row.

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


The Watercrown posted:

I have a prediction. The post game bosses will have 30,000 LP, every monster will have 1800 minimum attack and defence, and they'll have 6 copies of all those really good magic and trap cards. The only way to win is draw a full Exodia hand at the start of the match. Also, it's a chain of five battles, so you need to Exodia Obliterate right off the bat, five times in a row.

At least one of those is half-right.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 23, 2008

YOU'RE NOBODY


The Watercrown posted:

so you need to Exodia Obliterate right off the bat, five times in a row.

The Watercrown
Feb 10, 2014

We Shall Become Gods

We Shall Become Gods

WE SHALL ALL DIE AND BECOME AS GODS


If I had known that card existed, I would have changed my phrasing.

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


Reshef of Destruction part 9



Welp, that tears it. I didn't want to input any passwords and played the game entirely without them because it feels like cheating. But I have no choice if I want to have any shot at getting through the rest of this mess.



This is the first of two "Easter Egg" passwords and the only one you ever really need to enter. Oh and it'll still cost 1000 Domino.



The code I just entered is the loving secret to Phoenix Ra. A password that the game NEVER TELLS YOU is the secret. Not a sidequest, not an extremely challenging duel or puzzle or what have you, no! A password that I'm certain was in some stupid magazine but I have no idea where. A Phoenix Ra card eventually came out in the TCG, but its ID code isn't the same as the Phoenix Ra password.



So head back to Marik, who doesn't even question how the hell YOU got your hands on the secret to Phoenix Ra, which only his evil side had and holy poo poo this game just loves doing this to me!



Now it's Pyro-type instead of Machine! Which means the Ocean field STILL WEAKENS IT.



But hey, this cool animation is nice.



Thank goodness. Let's have a look.



It still has the same attack points and still takes three tributes. The effect is slightly better, though: All enemy monsters destroyed for a mere 1000 LP. Oh, and its other power is the most broken ability in the entire game. No exceptions.



So let's test it out on this jerk.



Espa Roba is normally very, VERY hard. Not so much if you topdeck Phoenix Ra.



Because like with Dark Flare Knight, all you have to do is discard it...



AND IT INSTANTLY SUMMONS BATTLE MODE RA TO YOUR FIELD. Can you beat 4,000 attack points, Espa?!



...

...

...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!



Nah just kidding, it didn't actually kill me, but I'm sure it's nailed at least one poor fool. Reflect Bounder inflicts damage to you equal to the attack points of your strongest monster. If anyone summons a God card and dies to that, you have my sympathies.



So, we get the first "Soul Card" or whatever. You don't have to actually put it in your deck, hell, you might own a copy of whatever monster it is already, but no, you have to win the duel here. At least Jinzo is a great card. A great card with a massive card cost, mind you, but there it is.



Next is Mai Valentine. I want to mention that every last one of these jerks has TWO copies of Swords of Revealing Light and lots of other broken cards. Thing is, the imposters at Pegasus's castle only have ONE copy of Swords. What the hell kind of sense does this make? We still have to deal with the imposters, you'd think they'd be harder!



Bizzarrely, Mai actually shows mercy by only including a single copy of Harpie's Feather Duster. No, REX RAPTOR is the one with the multiple Feather Dusters, which is just beyond me to explain.



A significantly less useful reward.



Well I certainly don't want to have a bad time.

Then again, if that were true, I wouldn't be playing this game.



Heh, he even got his ace monster out. Shame about Pumpking though. Its effect powers up only THREE SPECIFIC CARDS instead of all Zombies. Better than its TCG effect, I guess.



No. No it won't. I think you're able to potentially win two copies of it too since the game rewards you for your wager like usual in addition to whatever card you get.



He's right. If I really wanted to show my ire for this endgame, I would purchase a copy of the game and set it on fire.



Doesn't abusing broken cards make it so much more tolerable? As long as you can draw them, that is.



Rex mentions that he would have given us the Red-Eyes Black Dragon, but Joey won that card from him back in Duelist Kingdom. So we get an ironically better card from Rex.



I hate Mako. I hate Mako. I hate Mako.



It's a good thing God cards can't trip any trap cards, because Mako has THREE Torrential Tributes. I wish there was more trap destruction than just Jinzo, Harpie's Feather Duster and Reaper of the Cards, because if a Torrential Tribute is set, the only way to avoid tripping it is to use a God card. Ra gets weakened on this field no matter what as insult to injury - he MIGHT just destroy it!



Worthless one-tribute monster. None of the TCG abilities that would have made him great.



Looking at Weevil's decklist that I datamined is just sickening. THREE Swords of Revealing Light, and he can play Cocoon of Evolution directly instead of having to start from Petit Moth. He's got Eradicating Aerosol for some strange reason (destroys all Insects...which he uses...) aaaand he has THIS:



This card can tribute itself to summon any Insect monster that's in your hand. Including, say,



THIS. I'm lucky one Fire monster is all you need to blow it up, too, because it can beat any God card on a Forest field.



Weevil hands over his best card.



This is kind of okay if you have Pinch Hopper, but we don't, so.



Do we have all six Soul Cards? Fantastic. Let's go beat the imposters. They're all WEAKER than the real deal for some reason, and they all start on the Yami field.



They are revealed to be those Chevalier pickle things after being beaten.



Well this is neat. The Mai imposter tells us a riddle that gets thrown around on occasion in the manga. The answer is usually "Friendship". (Predictably.)



Well, that's an acceptable answer too.



The final room has Kaiba dueling respawning enemies.



AHA. AHA. AHA. FUNNY. VERY FUNNY.



Oh, of course! Forcing Kaiba to fight his little brother, who saw that one coming?! Well it's not a problem for him, seeing as he could never--



WHAT?! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?! You're his brother, Kaiba! You do it!



Mokuba is as easy as he was before. So can I have your God card now?



Oh of course you want to duel for it as the fate of the world rests on how quickly we finish the game. This is such a waste of my ti--



...on second thought.



So, discarding Phoenix Ra summons Battle Mode Ra. Battle Mode's effect...



Yeah. And I had used a recovery card to increase my LP past 8000.



FIRST-TURN KNOCKOUT! HELL YEAH!



Wha...wha...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

The gently caress did you just say, Ishizu?!

IT ONLY TOOK ONE TURN TO BEAT HIM



Gimmie that, you prick! I'm ashamed to admit my first custom cards for my mods of this were Kaibaman and Maiden with Eyes of Blue! (his waifu)



Test of what?! Patience!?



Oh good, if this turned into a scavenger hunt I'd have quit right then.



Pegasus challenges us and

TWENTY THOUSAND LIFE POINTS?!

Grrrr...and I forgot that your LP don't recover, so after using Battle Mode Ra I'm starting this one with 1 LP. But...but I can win with Phoenix Ra alone, right?!



And he has three copies of a completely bullshit card. Relinquished lets you steal one enemy monster and he has three copies of it. No need to Ritual summon it, either, even though it's one of the few monsters whose Ritual Spell is still in the game! It can never steal a God card, though, so I guess that's fine.



The rest of his deck consists of broken cards and monsters, but none of them are a real threat. This cutscene has a variation if you haven't put in the Phoenix Ra password - you'll see Battle Mode Ra there instead. (I presume.)



But uh-oh, it's a little late to celebrate!



Behold: Reshef the Dark Being. This rear end in a top hat is the perfect end-boss. So much so that they made him into a real monster in the TCG, where he has the ability to turn any Spell Card into the monster-snatching Change of Heart spell. Since it's the TCG though, he's not that fantastic compared to other horrific game-breakers.



The puzzle is completed again, so we get some words of encouragement.



Yugi, Kaiba and Joey show off their ace monsters. We haven't seen the graphic for Red-Eyes Black Dragon, so here it is.



Hey, mind if I join in the Disgaea-style cut-in? Can I? Please?

No?



They blast him all at once, and then, to seal away the evil abomination forever...



You must BEAT HIM IN A CARD GAME??????

And I almost don't want to tell you how many Life Points he has, because you'd never believe me.

So how does FORTY THOUSAND sound? And if you lose this one, with the tiny bit of LP you have left after Pegasus, you get to watch the entire cutscene AGAIN.



Fortunately, you can derive at least SOME amusement out of this. Here's Easter Egg password number 2.



It turns Reshef into GOEMON IMPACT! Why is there a Goemon cameo in the worst Konami game in history?! Holy poo poo, they're actually PROUD of this mess! Why else would a highly successful Konami icon cameo in this game? Several of them, if you include the Gradius stuff!



Round 2 goes a lot more smoothly. The password doesn't change his deck at all. However, no matter how well you're doing, Reshef has one final "gently caress you" if you are incredibly unlucky. As if the strongest monsters and the most broken spells and traps WEREN'T enough...

HE HAS THE EGYPTIAN GOD CARDS IN HIS DECK.

This makes NO sense. Okay fine, Reshef absorbed the power of the Gods, whatever the gently caress, but come on. The fact that we're playing cards with him is stupid enough as is. Anyhow, he doesn't have Phoenix Ra, thank goodness, but always remember: Obelisk can inflict 4000 direct damage, and Battle Mode Ra is an auto-win if he has more LP left than you do, and he starts with 40,000. See where this is going?

The last point I want to make before ending the update is that Slifer is actually vulnerable to a trap called Dragon Capture Jar. In Sacred Cards, it just destroyed all Dragon monsters and was a Spell, but now it's a continuous Trap that stops all Dragons from attacking as long as it exists. This includes Slifer, so it might be worth getting one!



Next time, the (not) thrilling conclusion!

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP



Oh thats bullshit
Brcause of course it is

Though im sad a konami deck isny actually viable beyond gradius/B.E.S
I want my moai archetype.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


The Ra password thing is a gently caress you. The multiple copies of broken cards are a gently caress you. Having to wait until the end of the game to get the best two Gods is a gently caress you.

Having to duel Pegasus' busted Toon deck with him having 20,000 LP and then immediately being thrown into a duel with Reshef who has 40,000 LP, even more broken cards than Pegasus, and all of the God Cards is just disgusting.

Technically the post game is harder but it's optional, so it doesn't so much get worse as it does more annoying.

Reshef was where I rage quit the game the first time I played. The second time I just cheated my way to the end.

Sol Chevalsky's Deck posted:

Monsters:
---------
2x Thousand-Eyes Restrict (Steals your strongest monster + ATK increase)
2x Relinquished (Steals your strongest monster)
1x Dark-Eyes Illusionist
1x Toon Dark Magician Girl
1x Toon Summoned Skull
3x Rogue Doll
1x Dark Rabbit
1x Toon Alligator
3x Toon Mermaid
1x Jigen Bakudan
1x Oscillo Hero #2
1x Bickuribox
1x Parrot Dragon
1x Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon
1x Dragon Piper
1x Ryu-Ran
1x Illusionist Faceless Mage
1x Manga Ryu-Ran
3x Red Archery Girl

Traps:
------
1x Torrential Tribute (Destroys all monsters on your field)
1x Dragon Capture Jar

Magic:
------
3x Swords of Revealing Light (No attacking for three turns)
2x Tremendous Fire (Direct damage of 1000 LP)
3x Harpie's Feather Duster (Destroys all of your spells and traps)
2x Change of Heart (Steals your strongest monster)

Reshef the Bullshit Being's Deck posted:

Monsters:
---------
3x Vorse Raider
3x Mechanicalchaser [This is his weakest monster. It has 1850 ATK.]
2x Zombyra the Dark
3x Nuvia the Wicked
3x Castle of Dark Illusions
3x Flash Assailant
1x Slifer the Sky Dragon
1x Obelisk the Tormentor
1x The Winged Dragon of Ra (Battle Mode)
1x King of Yamimakai

Traps:
------
3x Torrential Tribute (Destroys all monsters on your field)

Magic:
------
3x Swords of Revealing Light (No attacking for three turns)
3x Pot of Greed (Draw a card)
2x Harpie's Feather Duster (Destroys all of your spells and traps)
1x Monster Reborn
2x Megamorph
1x Raigeki (Destroys all monsters on your field)
3x Change of Heart (Steals your strongest monster)
1x Tremendous Fire (Direct damage of 1000 LP)

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Apr 17, 2017

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


Reshef of Destruction part 10



I've had enough. I mean I've REALLY had enough. To beat both Pegasus and Reshef in the same run I'd have to draw Phoenix Ra twice. My luck is not nearly up to that.

So, in the finale to this LP, we're going to take luck out of the equation. That's right, it's time to learn RNG Manipulation.

The speedruns of the various Yugioh games naturally use luck manipulation wherever they can get it. Manipulating Reshef (and by extension, Sacred Cards) is very easy to understand, but highly difficult in practice.

The first thing to note is that the RNG always has the same starting seed when you begin a new game, and the RNG only advances when it needs to roll dice for shuffling your deck, or when it needs to randomly determine a roaming NPC's movement. If you save, the RNG seed's position is also saved, but note that the title screen's graphical effects also advance the RNG.

This allows speedrunners to route a path through the game where they get the best possible outcomes of every duel on every run. How does that help us? Well you may have noticed, if you've played this game, that anytime you get into a cycle of losing a duel, shutting the game off in rage, reloading and then rushing back to whatever duel you lost, as quick as you can, results in the same opening hands on both sides a good chunk of the time. This is because you made the same movements with the same timing (unintentionally no doubt) between reloading and restarting the duel.

So now you kinda know how the RNG works, assuming my explanation is good. When editing your deck, though the game displays your deck sorted by card number (or whatever you sort it by) internally the order of the cards is the same as you put them in. If you take a card out, that card is removed and everything after it is shifted up. Imagine a stack of real cards, basically. When a duel starts, it writes the numbers 1 to 40 in a random order, each number being a card's position in your deck, and that's the order the cards are drawn.

Put all that together, and you can manipulate any duel by editing your deck and remembering the order of the cards, saving, resetting, rushing to whatever duel you're dealing with, noting the cards of the opening hand, resetting, reloading, editing the deck so the cards you want in the opening hand are in the positions the game rolled, then entering whatever duel you want while making sure the NPC movements are the same, then boom, one manipulated duel ready to go.

Hopefully that doesn't sound like TOO much more effort than it's ultimately worth.



Now, if there's a moving NPC between your house and the duel you want to manipulate, you obviously have to account for NPC movement. Depending on where you are in the game, there could be either Ishizu (who doesn't move) or Espa's brothers (who do move) on this screen.



So, I note what cards in my deck appeared in my hand, and I then edit my deck to make sure the cards I want are in the same positions as these.

It is, of course, much easier to just save state before the duel, but whatever.



Here's the same duel, post-manipulation. The cards are Revival Jam, Catapult Turtle, Phoenix Ra, Soul of the Pure, and Dian Keto the (no longer freaky) Cure Master. The latter two are recovery cards that bring my LP up to 15,000.

Phoenix Ra then deals that amount as damage through Battle Mode Ra's effect. That unfortunately leaves 5,000 LP since Pegasus starts with 20,000 and I'm limited to a single Dian Keto. So I summon Revival Jam and duplicate it, then on the next turn I tribute one for Catapult Turtle, whose effect is to tribute all your other monsters and deal damage equal to the total ATK of every last one of them.

You might be wondering, then, what I'm going to do against Reshef because I only have 1 LP left after Ra's effect.



Simple: I did not only manipulate one duel, I manipulated TWO.



ZERO-TURN KILL.



Pegasus comes to his senses and orders us to seal him along with Reshef inside the giant Goemon robot.

Speaking of whom. Did you know that Pegasus's alias in Japan is "Taiyoh Tenma", meaning "Solar Pegasus"?

Well, there was also that spinoff manga, Yu-Gi-Oh! R, that introduced us to Pegasus's adopted sons...the TENMA brothers.

Why. Why do they keep referencing back to this game. They can't POSSIBLY be proud of their work here. I had to make so many edits to the game code to make the game as enjoyable as Sacred Cards was. Of course, in the best case scenario, we shouldn't need ANY external edits to make a game good.



So we seal away Reshef, and naturally the castle has to crumble because that's just how all video games are meant to end, with the final boss's lair collapsing. The player character takes one look back before leaving.



Mokuba did something USEFUL?!



Cut to the Kaibaman show running as usual.



Then cut to every other character gathering in the city, worrying about whether we'll return or not.



Whether they want to show it or not.



There's gotta be a double meaning there.



These scenes occur regardless of whether you completed the robot monkey sidequest.



By raft? Why by raft?!



Meanwhile, business is booming. Better not tell the kids about how irrationally inflated the prices are!



Good to know Espa and his brothers have faith in us.



Are you for loving real?



RECOGNITION AT LAST!



Everyone gathers in a familiar location and hails the victorious.



He...he said "thank you"!



Oh, sure! You did so much important poo poo, after all.



...okay, fine. You win this one.



NO NO NO NO DON'T YOU DARE TAKE THEM AWAY AGAIN.



sigh Well, we have no choice, I guess. Sorry Atem, looks like you're stuck on Earth in this continuity!



Then they show a bunch of shots of the destroyed castle because...uh...I don't know?



So are they trying to say Pegasus is alive? There's no sequel to this so I can't imagine what they're going for.



The credits roll.

It's over.



THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR STINKING JOB!



Who the heck is Rachel Ryan?!

Wikipedia posted:

Rachel Ryan (born Serina Robinson August 22, 1961) is an American porn actress.

What the gently caress?! (Disclaimer: The credits probably refer to someone else.)



Wait, no, it's not the end quite yet. What did you expect? The fun never ends with this crap.



Reload your save and you'll find a new area on the map. (Oh, and the God cards aren't actually taken away, by the way)



Welcome to the last stand for this nonsense: The Hall of Eternity. Nine more duelists are ready for a challenge any time.



Well, eight of them, anyways. Dark Marik is unlocked after putting in the Phoenix Ra code.



Shadi and Dark Bakura are here because we had to make use of those sprites somehow.



For reasons I can't figure out, they use "Possessed Joey" here instead of the real Joey. Some of the duels here also have recycled music from Sacred Cards.



The last thing of note is Noah Kaiba, a filler villain and the last person I wanted to see here, but whatever.

Now, I'd like to say upfront that this post-game is interesting and worth showing. But I couldn't really figure out a way to make it interesting, because after I describe what's going on here to you, you can use your imagination and imagine me resetting until I get a Phoenix Ra draw. Because that's basically what it is.

To start, all nine of these jerks get MASSIVE amounts of starting Life Points. Shadi, Simon, Pegasus and Joey all begin with Thirty thousand. Dark Yugi, Dark Bakura, Dark Marik, Seto Kaiba, and Noah Kaiba all begin with SIXTY THOUSAND! What the gently caress. You know, I actually came up with some speed-kill strategies, but they're all THWARTED by how many Life Points these shits get.

And that's not the end of it either. All nine of them start on the Yami field and have three copies of seven of the most broken cards in the game:

Change of Heart - Steals one of your monsters, usually so they can tribute it for one of theirs
Monster Reborn - Revives a monster in your graveyard on their side
Megamorph - +500 attack points to any monster, any at all
Pot of Greed - Draw 2 cards for free, so they can get even more broken cards out
Harpie's Feather Duster - Wipes out all your trap cards
Swords of Revealing Light - Stops you from attacking for 3 turns and why the hell was this card invented again?!
Torrential Tribute - Triggered by attacking and it destroys all of your monsters! Hooray!

Yes. This area is, in fact, worse than the final boss. There isn't even a point to this area, either. The only reward for any duel here is a LOT of money, Deck Capacity, and sometimes a good card. So if you're not interested in the multiplayer (even with my modifications and taking into account the possibility that link cable emulation is highly flawed, good lord was it slow) you probably won't even bother with this.

Only Phoenix Ra can hard counter everything I've just described, and even then, Yugi, Marik and Kaiba all have God cards. The only good thing I can think of is that those broken spells and traps constitute 50% of their decks, leaving not a lot of space for their monsters. Not that this matters much with as much as 60,000 LP to get through. Since I don't really want to show all nine duels in full, just imagine monsters constantly being stolen (Especially by Pegasus, NINE of his cards can do it) and Ra getting a new disciple in the form of yours truly. So here's a speedrun with RNG manipulation instead:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m45RX8tQ9iU

So that is all. The final boss thoroughly humiliated, and the post-game's bullshit revealed.

If you're not satisfied with this closing the LP, maybe you'd like to try the game yourself. In that case, I have just the patch for you.

Reshef of Destruction "It's actually tolerable this time" patch

Download IPS Patch Here!

Apply to the US version of Reshef of Destruction.

Changes:
-Selling a card gives you 50% of the card's price
-Cards can be sold even at 1 copy
-Card prices never change
-Life points always start at 8000 for the player
-Life points always start at 8000 for all opponents outside the Hall of Eternity
-Duelist level no longer does anything
-Permanent effects show text only once per card
-The permanent effect cursor no longer has to take 2 seconds of your time to scan the board
-New Deck Cost formula implemented with adjustments

-Dark-Eys Illusionist, Nightmare Penguin, Barox, Dark Chimera, King of Yamimakai, Castle of Dark Illusions, Reaper of the Cards, and Metal Guardian now have accurate TCG stats
-Exodia and the Petit Moth cards now have orange card colors
-Fire Reaper, Ooguchi, Rainbow Flower, Jinzo #7, and Queen's Double can now attack directly
-Infinite Dismissal was given Negate Attack's graphic
-Torrential Tribute was given Mirror Force's graphic
-Former Ritual Monsters are no longer Divine attribute
-Ritual Summoning no longer possible. The Ritual spells were replaced with three brand new cards:
-Weather Report: His effect negates the effect of Swords of Revealing Light
-Maiden With Eyes of Blue: Her effect summons Blue-Eyes White Dragon
-Kaibaman: His effect sacrifices himself to summon any Dragon monster from your hand, including Slifer. Irony?

Anyways, with that out of the way, that will in fact conclude this double-feature Yu-Gi-Oh mess! Holy crap I'm gonna play a GOOD card game. Where are my Digimon cards...

Ephraim225 fucked around with this message at 08:49 on Apr 22, 2017

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


Atem, Kaiba, and Possessed Joey are all voice acted during duels, as I recall.

But yeah, 21/40 of the cards of the postgame enemies' decks are obscenely overpowered cards. gently caress game balance.

Just to show you an example of how incredibly fun this is, here's a video. You don't even need to watch the whole thing. Just look at Atem's first turn and realize you'll be dealing with this for the whole match. Whose brilliant idea was it to have the enemies with 30,000/60,000 Life Points to have three copies of the most annoying stall card in the game?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOLFfb6SfE4

Even better, since these jerks have a ton of overpowered cards, you'll likely need to leave to heal your own Life Points after every. Single. Duel.

Narratively, the thing that baffles me the most about the ending is that Ishizu says she needs to seal away the God Cards to prevent this nonsense from happening again. Okay, so what about how you sealed the God Cards away in the last game but this still happened anyway? And what about the God Card copies that Reshef has? And that's not even getting into how the God Cards hate having copies of their cards make and smite down people who use them.

This whole game is stupid and makes me angry.

Blueberry Pancakes fucked around with this message at 08:30 on Apr 22, 2017

Ephraim225
Oct 28, 2010


Oh that reminds me, I forgot to link my all-time favorite demonstration of RNG manipulation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m45RX8tQ9iU

Never fails to make me feel better.

serefin99
Apr 15, 2016

Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!



That RNG manipulation is a thing of god damned beauty.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND



Even to the end this game's a gigantic piece of poo poo, wow. That you need to manipulate things this far to win is a clear show of terrible game design...not like it wasn't obvious before. At least you're free from that torture now.

And if you're thinking what I'm thinking with that Digimon cards game line, then you definitely are going for something much better. I love that game.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!


Digimon Digital Card Battle?

Have fun with Garurumon.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL





This LP has been fantastic, and I can't wait to see you playing an actually good game again.

BlazeEmblem
Jun 8, 2013

Uh oh. Do I use Ariadne thread or Goho-M?



Good job on this LP.

Man, am I glad that the only Yu-Gi-Oh games I have played have been the ones with the TCG rules. I am glad that I never played Reshef of Destruction.

Gilgamesh255
Aug 15, 2015


...wow. Yeah, all that trite bullcrap I was shown? I think I'd rather legitimately duel both forms of Dark Nite in Forbidden Memories. Sure, he'd most likely steam roll me, but at least it would bare SOME semblance of fairness.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007



I stopped following the thread midway through Reshef, so I missed the absolute worst bullshit as it happened. An Impact Goemon cameo is worthless without the theme song.

  • Locked thread