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A map would probably help yeah. Added the map of the area to the update. Still probably annoying to figure out where exactly things are, though; bad games be like that.
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Jan 6, 2021 01:27
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DimiPZC posted:A map would probably help yeah. This looks like a the first time I discovered Paint as a child.
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Jan 6, 2021 02:03
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DimiPZC posted:A map would probably help yeah. 
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Jan 6, 2021 02:54
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Ugh, I swear Magic Eyes are a conspiracy the rest of the world is in on to make me feel dumb
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Jan 6, 2021 03:30
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That's not a Magic Eye. That's just static.
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Jan 6, 2021 04:06
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Rabbi Raccoon posted:Ugh, I swear Magic Eyes are a conspiracy the rest of the world is in on to make me feel dumb If you're talking about the image I posted, it's not a magic eye, it's tv static 
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Jan 6, 2021 04:07
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Clearly not my best joke so I'm just gonna HEY LOOK OVER THERE!
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Jan 6, 2021 04:17
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The sky above Mt. Dead End was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel.
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Jan 6, 2021 04:37
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Man, every time we think we've reached the bottom of the barrel, BoaB keeps digging down.
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Jan 6, 2021 05:35
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Jade Rider posted:Man, every time we think we've reached the bottom of the barrel, BoaB keeps digging down. Bottom of a Barrel
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Jan 6, 2021 06:31
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Until reading this LP, I wasn't even aware it was possible to hate a game without playing it. How you've managed to make it this far without going insane is impressive
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Jan 6, 2021 08:41
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 Todd Howard.
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Jan 6, 2021 09:15
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A Real Horse posted:Until reading this LP, I wasn't even aware it was possible to hate a game without playing it. How you've managed to make it this far without going insane is impressive
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Jan 6, 2021 09:41
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Commander Keene posted:Allow me to introduce you, sir, madam or unspecified other, to Pokemon Reborn, which is this, but as a Pokemon fan game. A Pokemon fan game created by someone who hates Pokemon and turn based RPGs in general. It is in fact one of the most repellent games wrought by mankind, failing in basically every possible way. Reborn is significantly worse than even this. At least BoaB was done by someone that, we can presume, likes the game he's making, and without involving real people. Reborn shows the hatred from the developer for the series and genre it is based on, and actually uses real people and their issues in its plot in a way that's, to put it lightly, unacceptable. Reborn is still my gold standard for terrible fan games. BoaB works hard, harder than it should ever have, but it doesn't reach it.
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Jan 6, 2021 23:49
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Oh yeah, Reborn reaches a level of poo poo that you can't get to without lovely hamfisted "tributes" to real-world events. Fortunately, for all the repellent juvenile humor in BoaB thus far, none of it was done maliciously or based upon real life. I was mentioning it in a "this is a level BEYOND BoaB!" way.
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Jan 7, 2021 00:13
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On a story level, Reborn wins at sucking due to having so many more words, at least (though less slavery, I think). On a gameplay level, Reborn was disgustingly hard and hated the player, but I still think "use a random item on a random sprite on a random screen to get a mana upgrade without which you will softlock at the end of the game" manages to be worse design.
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Jan 7, 2021 03:09
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Qrr posted:On a story level, Reborn wins at sucking due to having so many more words, at least (though less slavery, I think). You may have forgotten exactly how stingy Reborn was with 'even vaguely good' Pokémon, to the point where we had a long, magical misadventure to get a Magikarp.
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Jan 7, 2021 04:05
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Quackles posted:You may have forgotten exactly how stingy Reborn was with 'even vaguely good' Pokémon, to the point where we had a long, magical misadventure to get a Magikarp. Can you blame people for forgetting Reborn? It's a self-defense mechanism. I keep thinking I should go back and finish that thread. I think I got 1/3 of the way through it. But I've forgotten so much I'd have to start over, and I *really* don't want to do that.
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Jan 7, 2021 04:13
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Quackles posted:You may have forgotten exactly how stingy Reborn was with 'even vaguely good' Pokémon, to the point where we had a long, magical misadventure to get a Magikarp. "Balanced to be way too hard" is a gameplay style that some people enjoy, though obviously those are much better games than Reborn in a myriad of ways. I can't picture a single person liking the guessing gameplay in this. If it weren't for the secret showing item (which is optional and unintuitive to get), the progression in this game would genuinely be "use every item you have on every square in the room because you never know when you'll have to burn a switch".
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Jan 7, 2021 04:17
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Qrr posted:"Balanced to be way too hard" is a gameplay style that some people enjoy, though obviously those are much better games than Reborn in a myriad of ways. Reborn wasn't much different. The game wanted you to use specific strategies to beat every Gym Leader, trying to do things your way (like in every Pokemon game ever) would just get you destroyed. If you found a Pokemon that worked especially well, it'd get patched out. But of course, the game gave you no hints whatsoever on how to clear the "puzzle" (if you can even call it that) that was the Gym Leaders. This game is more blatant and stupid about it, sure, but Reborn was just as unintuitive and unclear.
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Jan 7, 2021 15:26
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i know y'all think reborn is the worst thing since moldy bread but "potentially completely unwinnable because all of a certain collectible is locked to the first eighth of the game" and "completely incoherent puzzle triggers that aren't even consistent with each other" are on a completely different level than "precise battle strategies are required otherwise gently caress you"
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Jan 7, 2021 18:35
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Next update will be a bit. My laptop charger broke and all mh files are on my laptop. Could be anywhere from a few days to over a week for the replacement to come.
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Jan 9, 2021 18:02
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The LP curse claims yet another victim.
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Jan 9, 2021 18:14
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Black Robe posted:The LP curse claims yet another victim. Or it may be the laptop trying to save the OP from further suffering
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Jan 9, 2021 19:08
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My new charger has arrived, and screenshots are taken. If update does not happen soon, it's because I haven't got off my lazy rear end and wrote the update yet.
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Jan 12, 2021 04:39
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DimiPZC posted:My new charger has arrived, and screenshots are taken. If update does not happen soon, it's because I haven't got off my lazy rear end and wrote the update yet. Are we going to need to figure out which item to rub on the update to make it magically work?
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Jan 12, 2021 05:25
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 Welcome back to bad-designville.  You can barely make out the old Mt. Death if you tried; a reminder that for as bad as something can be, it can always get much worse.   Just bomb open this boulder here...  Well ain't that just the pits.  That's a nice heart piece you have there. Shame it's out on an island in the middle of nowhere.  Hmm, a branch. Let's see where the lower path leads.  Oh, just a dead end. That's unfor-   All I did was step into the dead end!  The warp portals take us back here. Guess I'll have to walk on every random tile to check if it's a warp that'll take me to a megaman boss portrait now    Huh... this seems to be a roadblock. Can you tell what it is? It took me a minute to discern what this is meant to be.  It's a gohma!   There's a warp portal going up; let's see what's to the right first.  Wow, it's nothing!   more ugly...  Okay, so this is really strange to me. I recorded this part in advance in a call, and I spent the majority of that call gushing over this area and how cool it was that the game had pulled a world of ruin and that seeing an otherwise lively area be turned to dust was really cool storytelling.  Oh, damnit, those are actual pits. That's what this room is for. So I had to listen to me gushing over this area while taking screenshots, yet all I get from these screenshots is just.... ugh. I can't understand the passion I had about this area. Everything looks gray, same-y, triggers are convoluted, and all I feel is boredom just looking at these shots. Maybe it was cause I was more impressed with the idea than the execution; yet all I have to talk about and look at here is the execution.   The solution to this room, by the way, is that hands come out to damage you every so often; when they aren't out, you can ladder over the pits that they came out of. So... I dunno. I've been trying to feel the passion that my past self had while exploring this area, because they somehow had fun while doing so. Maybe it was because I was in a call and having a good time doing so. Yet all I'm feeling writing this is "god, this is so boring, why did I put up with this?".   I was looking at image previews and thought I accidentally took a second screenshot of the same screen before I realized they were different.  Odd colored statue...   Ah, yes, shoot the weird looking wall with an upgraded arrow. Of course.   Empty boring screens.  Oh thank god a cave  Finally, my eyes aren't glazing over completely.   Not much going on in the caves, but at least they aren't noisy sensory overload.    Time to go back outside. Oh, thank god, it's on the non-foggy part.  Let's play guess that trigger!  It doesn't matter what you guessed, cause nobody is a winner here in BoaB.   Same deal over here.   : Is this the degraded version of DeathMountain or what?! Astounding... We're at the peak now.  Both of the whirlwinds would've taken us here.  There was another really popular ZC quest that came out around this time where talking to these fairy statues would give you edgy dialogue about how the apocalypse happened and how man is sinful and etc. Sadly, these only heal you if you go in front of them.   This is where the river used to be. I guess Zora's are no longer throwing up,ya?  Here's where the softlock was, too. Something I ain't missing.  We can jump off here, but let's see what else is up here.   Here's Turtle Rock, and we now have the Ocarina of Blood that opens it. The game took a throwaway joke and made it a plot point; neat. We'll hold off on entering it for a tiny bit though cause my past self sure loved exploring this place.    : for sure until you switch materialization! Does the hammer exist?   Oh god the fog is back gently caress off  Convenient whirlwind to take us back up.  Thassa lotta ghosts.    Yeah, the riverbed is now a rivercrater. Riverridge? Riverchasm?   Oh boy, another one of you. What do you have to say? : If you thought the ruins were good for hiding then you are a fool. Everything were wiped away without a trace. I wonder if the opposite side is safer. This part will collapse soon, as the peak did. This whirlpool will act as a shortcut later after we get the flippers. Not a very useful shortcut since we get the flippers after we have no reason to come back here, but    A brief reprieve... I'd give a map of the caves if I could, but the dev multipurposed the space to have cutscenes and other stuff in the blank spaces.   Hey, this is the place near the manhandla from the sidequest, and the place where we burned behind a tree to get a shield.  You can tell because there's a dead manhandla and a dead tree here!   Whelp, dead end. We can't cross this chasm.   There's also another softlock here if you scroll onto the screen in a bad way   Another one of these buggers to talk to...   Aight, let's hear it.  : our master did even bigger deeds than wiping this mountain...Hey, the dialogue doesn't happen on a black screen this time. Neat.  Exiting the cave leads here.   We can cheng- I mean change this skull to a hookshot tree. Neato.  Another dead end to the left. Alright, let's clear up some loose ends now.  Back over here, south of the gohma we arrowed, we never went right from here.   This is one of my features, the Bethesda Inc... Oh, you cannot use it yet. It is only a hologram.   On the other side of a chasm again. There's a tree we can hookshot over to on the right, though, but we'll hold off on that.   : Future Hyrule is more arbitrary than our previous titles so we are hoping for a lot of success.Another hookshot tree revealed by Cheng.   Cheng doesn't care about holograms or sunshine references, so let's head down the vine that todd blocked.  Oh, hey! This is the place that was an ocarina trigger in the original Hyrule! I'm glad that I remembered this so I can feel clever by hitting it no-  Psyche! It's now a fire rod trigger! ...Even though ZC doesn't have a fire rod.  Seems the guy never got to finish mining this rock.  Another dead end. Cool!  Okay, now we'll hookshot across to that place.   I couldn't even see the rock that was blocking my path; I saw the lens notification for the bomb thing first lmao   Well nevermind, I guess we're just back in familiar territory. What a waste of time. I guess with nothing else to do, let's enter the next dungeon.  Which isn't turtle rock. Nice.
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Jan 16, 2021 04:48
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Younger you must have had a lot more patience.DimiPZC posted:Yeah, the riverbed is now a rivercrater. Riverridge? Riverchasm? Riverdance
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Jan 16, 2021 05:10
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I... sure, why not, who gives a poo poo, hi Search Man
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Jan 16, 2021 09:12
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DimiPZC posted:
...what branch of philosophy is this? Also I assume past you was drinking while on the call.
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Jan 16, 2021 10:10
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DimiPZC posted:
Are you sure past you wasn't being sarcastic?
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Jan 16, 2021 11:26
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Black Robe posted:...what branch of philosophy is this? After that foggy hellscape, the dungeon looks surprisingly uncluttered, at least going by the first screen. But as we all know, this game's potential to screw up is pretty much endless.
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Jan 16, 2021 12:32
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Quantum Toast posted:I couldn't even tell there was a "this".  I sort of outlined it in white. I lost it due to the horrible smoke but it definitely looks like a gohma if you let your eyes lose focus and stare at that general bit. it's not great since trying to see it is about on par with one of those 3d magic viewer things.
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Jan 16, 2021 12:50
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TeeQueue posted:
It's not even the fog, I think, it's the monochrome ground texture and random clutter making the actual obstacles blend in.
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Jan 16, 2021 13:35
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Quantum Toast posted:Are you sure past you wasn't being sarcastic? Sadly, I don't think they were  Black Robe posted:Also I assume past you was drinking while on the call. This, however, might be a possibility. 
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Jan 16, 2021 22:07
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 OST - Necrolodge (Source) Necrolodge. You know, cause Turtle Rock isn't good enough. Also, I'm sure a 40 second loop is long enough for an entire dungeon  What does the tablet have to say?  : Thievery is about being stealth and always getting what you want, no matter how. -ZeiaWow, cool, thanks Zeia.  And the tablet warps us outside the dungeon, because of course it does.   Stepping on the switch creates a somaria raft thing.  Somaria doesn't exist in ZC, though, so we just get reskinned raft mechanics.   Hitting the switch with our sword opens the door. ...What a weird looking open door.  More somaria tracks...  Hookshotting this block makes them appear.  We have a nice 3x3 central room. Nothing compared to the 5x5 monstrosity of garden gallery's 2 central rooms.  Entering this room locks the door shut behind us.  Playing the blood ocarina will make these warps appear. Good luck figuring that out if you missed the lens.  South of here is a small key and a dead end. Small key is in a big chest for some reason; I guess turtle rock reference?  The warps created by the ocarina take us back here. Fun fact: Whistle/Ocarina triggers are never permanent, so enjoy replaying the ocarina every time you want to leave that room.   Over here seems to be an unopened shortcut.  Age old adage of "check all paths before changing state/using keys".   Another unopened shortcut...   We can bomb this wall on the left open.  OST - Happy Mask Salesman  : bloodlines of yours were always pretty fine. : What happened?!: After your wise leave, an ancient Wind Mage, Vaati sent a ray beam onto Mt.Death and now everything is in a 'strange' state. : We gotta do something! How can we reach that Vaati?: No, no, no!  You aren't enough strong yet, you have to collect the Eight Power Medallions! Also, there is a Lightforce piece in every dungeon, but you can't get it from the boss...: Again this Lightforce... Soon I will think it counts.: How do we defeat the boss of this decaying place?: Oh, it's just a lanmola on steroids... You won't need else than a crystal,some fire and something shiny. I know it will be easy for you. : Let's go then!: For Hyrule!...There's a reason I gave the mask guy a portrait back a dozen updates ago.   There's stalagmites (remember: M is the shape of spikes on the ground, T is the shape of spikes on the ceiling) on the ground, but hookshot removes them.   It looks like this is walkable, but I think the game's trying to represent it as a hologram. ...I really should've saved the sunshine jokes for this update. Anyways, boss is once again blocked by carryovers.   Huh, a dead end. The lens says to play the whistle here, but playing it doesn't do anything. Oh well, time to leav-  Okay, so playing the whistle... turns the south door into a warp that leads into the topright??? How was anyone supposed to figure this out!?   Huh, one of the switches here is arrowable.  ...Oh, haha. That's funny. If you stood next to the crystal when you fired the arrow, you'd get trapped in there and have to kill yourself on the spikes. Real cute, game.  Anyways, nice. Found the compass that's actually a map.   Oh great, there's a basement it looks like.  And we need to come from it to open up this part.   Welp, there's another staircase, but it looks like the hookshot block leading to it is another hologram.  One that thankfully just needs us to hit a switch with our sword.  Basement floor time!  Only now occurs to me to check the map. ...Car? ... Very Hard Fights? I can barely read this thing.  Long winding corridor for no reason.  And to top it off another dead end.  ...On that is removed by the Ocarina. Wow, arbitrary ocarina triggers sure is a theme with this place. Guess I need to whistle while I work... as the ZC saying goes.  : Look, sweetie! A minecar!: Perfect! We should ride it. The farther we get, the more monsters we avoid. Just always steer into the direction where I point. Be quick and don't crash the car! OST - Minecar! Oh boy, a minecart minigame. It's telling us to go right, so hold right and...  Hey, success!  Okay, so now it's telling us to hold left...  And success! ... That's basically the gist of this minigame.   Right...   Right again...   Ooh, left, a curveball!   Right again, again...   Left... god, this is going on for a while.   Left again... hurry up and end, will you?  ...Thank you. A heart piece, too! You know what, that sequence was neat. I can't really think of any other quest in this era that did something like this.  Throw Ashley at the switch to make the portal appear, and then...  Presto!   Big key!  The southern door boots us outside, in a place we haven't seen. More turtle rock references?   More turtle rock references.   Center has a patra with no way for us to kill it and no way for it to kill us, cause we can't do anything on the raft but are also invincible on it. Also, I just want to point out: ZC raft paths work using 2 flags: Raft paths, and raft branches. Raft paths will make you continuously go forward until you hit a dead end, at which point it will try to turn sideways if there are paths in either of those directions, and if not it dumps you off the raft. Raft branches, however, let you turn if there are raft paths beside it by holding the button in that direction; though it won't let you move backwards. The only branch on this screen is the intersection on the south heading to the right. If we want to head to the left, we can't just hold left when we pass the north intersection; instead we have to hold right when we pass the south intersection, which will take us on the separate path and thus make us move straight across the intersection. I am pointing this out now, for reasons that will become clear shortly.  Either way, let's unlock this door.  That looks like a hole on the left, but it's floor.  Here's the map of the upper floor by the way.  We needed to shoot the eye in the topright to turn the floor into a pit.  ...And another lock. Damnit.   Great, a lot of barriers.   Alternating between shooting the right and left eye will position the barriers to let us pass gradually.   Another whistle check later, and the chest (which contains a small key) is ours.  Back in the main room, this platform here seems redundant...  ...Hammering that (we don't have the hammer yet) will turn it into a portal. So hey, remember how the mask salesman mentioned lightforce? This is the first step to obtaining the lightforce of this dungeon.   Anyways, I was curious what happened if you failed the minecart minigame.  We crash land here.  And we have to fight... armos.  Every room only has armos.  Honestly, fighting armos for every room is boring, so how about something a little more interesting? This corridor is where I first learned the blue tunic reveal from the other people in the call, and it's too good of a clip not to share, so... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S25G70eBRI Thanks Moosh.  So with a second small key in hand, let's see what's up beyond here...   ...oh gently caress right off game.  Oh FUUUUUCK right off, game! I have no patience for this tonight. DimiPZC fucked around with this message at 13:32 on Jan 19, 2021 |
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Jan 19, 2021 12:00
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Games > Let's Play! > Ballad of a Bloodline: Oh, it's just a lanmola on steroids Also... DimiPZC posted:
I concur, gently caress right off with that poo poo. 
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Jan 19, 2021 14:58
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DimiPZC posted:You know what, that sequence was neat. I can't really think of any other quest in this era that did something like this. Well, it did warn you down there were some hard fights on that bottom path. If we only had the holy Bible of BoaB, we could understand the logic behind everything that has happened... except for the time skip part. I don't think anyone can explain that.
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Jan 19, 2021 15:04
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Oh, I finally remembered what I was going to say. What does the guy mean by our bloodline is fine? It sounds super creepy.
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Jan 19, 2021 16:40
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 17:57 |
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Presumably, they are both descended from long lines of badasses. Hopefully that is two separate lines, but incest wouldn't surprise me by this point.
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Jan 19, 2021 18:19
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