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Danaru posted:The amount of "I'm getting a free ride as long as I dont do one thing, then I did the one thing and now everyone is overreacting???" stories absolutely astounds me. there's a lot of people in this world who do not comprehend the concept of "boundaries", and a lot of people who take for granted what is given to them mix the two personality flaws and a situation of precarity (a lot of that to go around lately) and this is what you get
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Jan 23, 2021 16:11
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The loving mom works a real job, but insists her daughter be a home maker. So it's not "just" being locked in a socially conservative tradition, it's thinking your children deserve a worse life than you
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Jan 23, 2021 16:13
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Danaru posted:The amount of "I'm getting a free ride as long as I dont do one thing, then I did the one thing and now everyone is overreacting???" stories absolutely astounds me. All the same, I think her husband's an idiot for not warning her. She could have said all sorts of innocently hurtful things. Being a 'private guy' doesn't mean your brother can't talk about his own nephew.
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Jan 23, 2021 16:15
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DrManiac posted:Her family seems loving nuts, if she ever goes back they probably won’t let her escape again. Yeah going on a trip but making her stay behind to tidy up is some Cinderella poo poo
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Jan 23, 2021 16:16
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Mr. Lobe posted:there's a lot of people in this world who do not comprehend the concept of "boundaries", and a lot of people who take for granted what is given to them Well it's that and a first time parent finally realizing how much work a baby is and taking the stress out on everyone around them. Probably some undiagnosed post partum depression. Not that that excuses her actions.
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Jan 23, 2021 16:18
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ikanreed posted:The loving mom works a real job, but insists her daughter be a home maker. Classic example of "do as I say, don't do as I do".
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Jan 23, 2021 16:41
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Danaru posted:The amount of "I'm getting a free ride as long as I dont do one thing, then I did the one thing and now everyone is overreacting???" stories absolutely astounds me. Why, it's literally the foundational story of mankind. We haven't learned much since Adam and Eve got kicked out of couchsurfing at G*d's place.
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Jan 23, 2021 16:51
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ikanreed posted:So it's not "just" being locked in a socially conservative tradition, it's thinking your children deserve a worse life than you Isn't that basically the majority view nowadays anyway.
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Jan 23, 2021 17:09
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Comes up in the comments her parents are first-generation immigrants apparently. Given they apparently insisted on calling her boyfriend her 'special friend' I wouldn't be surprised if they had some arranged marriage ideas, or just used the idea of her being a housewife as an excuse to keep her on as unpaid babysitter.
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Jan 23, 2021 17:17
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DrManiac posted:Her family seems loving nuts, if she ever goes back they probably won’t let her escape again. Yeah, it's going to be some Annie Wilkes-level poo poo if she ever goes back there.
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Jan 23, 2021 17:26
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AITA for not giving my dad my piece of lamb at dinner?quote:EDIT: I want to thank every single person who commented on this post. I hadn’t realized how not normal his behavior was. I’m going to go stay with my best friend a few states away, she was furious when I told her what happened. Thank you all
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Jan 23, 2021 17:41
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Sisal Two-Step posted:AITA for not giving my dad my piece of lamb at dinner? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fyD1oo2sWs&t=20s
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Jan 23, 2021 17:53
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Congratulations, your dad is a literal ogre.
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Jan 23, 2021 17:55
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Shrek is a better parent than that.
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Jan 23, 2021 18:00
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Deformed Church posted:AITA For Not Telling My Family I was Leaving The House When I Turned 18? The only bad part of this is her siblings are young enough that keeping contact with them will be hard. Otherwise genuinely impressed with how she made her plan an execute it without her parents being any the wiser.
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Jan 23, 2021 18:02
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Have we had any stories from the perspective of the younger siblings when a parentified abused sibling flies the coop?
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Jan 23, 2021 18:06
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Ghost Leviathan posted:Have we had any stories from the perspective of the younger siblings when a parentified abused sibling flies the coop? Pretty sure we've had one where the oldest was a brother and providing a halfway house for his siblings when they got old enough to legally bail, but I can't remember any specific enough search terms.
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Jan 23, 2021 18:13
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kimbo305 posted:I'm confused on a few points here. I think the acronyms and lack of explanation makes it hard to follow. GN= Goodnighting, the funeral process; WN= wake name, which is the deceased person's first name. In Aboriginal cultures, you don't speak the deceased person's first name before or during the Goodnighting, because that calls them back to Earth. (Goodnighting can last for a few days, a couple weeks, or several months.) Instead you refer to them with generalities ("the deceased," "your late brother," "the poor ol' gal") or a specific term that depends on which language they speak; one I saw a few times was "Kwementyaye." The substitute name replaces the first name (e.g: Michelle Johnson becomes Kwementyaye Johnson) so no one uses the dead person's regular rear end first name during the Goodnighting.* The OP's mother is a bad person who kept using the OP's sister's real, regular first name during the Goodnighting period; this is called "wakenaming." To prevent that, the OP created a brand new, secret first name for the specific purpose of preventing her own wakenaming should the OP die before her mother. It sounds like this new name is such a secret, the OP doesn't actually use it at all in her regular life, and she's still going by her old name. It's kind of like, she renamed just her soul as insurance against being wakenamed, while the rest of her uses her old name. *I don't know how long the prohibition on using the deceased person's name lasts. I read an anecdote about a community that had deceased member that had been named after days of the week; for "a couple years," school children would recite the days of the week like "Kwementyaye, Monday, Kwementyaye, Kwementyaye, Thursday, Kwementyaye, Saturday."
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Jan 23, 2021 18:37
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Danaru posted:The amount of "I'm getting a free ride as long as I dont do one thing, then I did the one thing and now everyone is overreacting???" stories absolutely astounds me. "hey yo, you can have literal paradise just as long as you don't eat my fuckin apples ok?" tale as old as time
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Jan 23, 2021 18:45
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Oh dear me posted:All the same, I think her husband's an idiot for not warning her. She could have said all sorts of innocently hurtful things. Being a 'private guy' doesn't mean your brother can't talk about his own nephew. She got all the warning any reasonable person would have needed direct from the source, you don't actually need the complete fuckin backstory of everyone you meet nor should you expect to get it.Since she's not a reasonable person, no amount of explanation or justifying the guy's innately reasonable request woulda been enough. A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Jan 23, 2021 |
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Jan 23, 2021 19:03
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I get the 'dont do the one thing you've been asked not to do' but I also think this thread would be coming down harder on the guy if like her we didn't have the last bit of info about his kid dying. We'd have just assumed he was a child free weird like she did and think he needed to suck it up and hold a baby for 2 min.
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Jan 23, 2021 19:19
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That whole thing has the set up for a sitcom plot. A restriction for vague reasoning, the protagonist messing it up with the reason reveal, reconciliation as he talks about his issues. I didn’t think it happened in real life
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Jan 23, 2021 19:21
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:She got all the warning any reasonable person would have needed direct from the source, you don't actually need the complete fuckin backstory of everyone you meet nor should you expect to get it. Oh get away with the 'everone you meet' crap. I said her own husband was an idiot for not telling her about his own nephew. E: Guildenstern Mother posted:We'd have just assumed he was a child free weird like she did and think he needed to suck it up and hold a baby for 2 min. Yes, this too.
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Jan 23, 2021 19:33
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At minimum the husband could have been like, "look he's got a traumatic event in his past, please don't bring it up or ask anything further about it because it will be upsetting for all of us and respect his wishes about being around kids."
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Jan 23, 2021 19:37
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Oh dear me posted:Oh get away with the 'everone you meet' crap. I said her own husband was an idiot for not telling her about his own nephew. Maybe it's because his brother clearly didnt want people to know about his wife and child dying, and to go "well its MY nephew so I can tell whoever I want" is some lunatic poo poo nobody with empathy would do
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Jan 23, 2021 19:38
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AITA for trying to teach my boyfriend a lesson but instead destroyed his phonequote:We(28f,34m) have been together for 4 years now and we are both working from home now so we are together more than usual. He has taken over the spare room as his office and his zoom calls are very boisterous and loud, I guess it's a finance thing? We have made it a thing to watch countdown(a word and maths quiz show if your not from the UK) most afternoons. He usually wins the maths stuff and I win the word ones because I did English Lit at uni. An advert came on and he laughed at the concept of anyone needing adult diapers and he said that if he ever needs them that he would consider himself a failure as a man. Lol I want a whole series of this woman trying to pull off very classic pranks and gradually destroying her bf's life. Like, putting saran wrap on the toilet and breaking both his legs, or short-sheeting his bed and the roof collapsing artsy fartsy fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Jan 23, 2021 |
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Jan 23, 2021 19:53
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Sisal Two-Step posted:AITA for not giving my dad my piece of lamb at dinner? That may have been the most childish and abusive possible way to handle it for the dad, but in general don't people eating fresh food get priority over those squirreling it away for leftovers? If someone isn't overweight (and this is a big assumption), is still hungry, and there's food on the table it's a dick move to claim leftovers when you're not even hungry. She didn't even cook or buy the food from the sounds of it.
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Jan 23, 2021 19:58
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13Pandora13 posted:At minimum the husband could have been like, "look he's got a traumatic event in his past, please don't bring it up or ask anything further about it because it will be upsetting for all of us and respect his wishes about being around kids." i think this seems reasonable but who knows, maybe she's just the kind of person where you tell her A and she will dig up the whole alphabet no matter what. Honestly hard to tell who's the big rear end in a top hat here, to me. But she stepped in poo poo that's for sure. E: I love phone girl, she should do more bad pranks that go unnoticed. utamaru fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Jan 23, 2021 |
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Jan 23, 2021 20:02
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:That may have been the most childish and abusive possible way to handle it for the dad, but in general don't people eating fresh food get priority over those squirreling it away for leftovers? If someone isn't overweight (and this is a big assumption), is still hungry, and there's food on the table it's a dick move to claim leftovers when you're not even hungry. She didn't even cook or buy the food from the sounds of it. Jesus christ "I know he was abusive but isn't she also a little to blame" is a hell of a take.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:05
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:That may have been the most childish and abusive possible way to handle it for the dad, but in general don't people eating fresh food get priority over those squirreling it away for leftovers? If someone isn't overweight (and this is a big assumption), is still hungry, and there's food on the table it's a dick move to claim leftovers when you're not even hungry. She didn't even cook or buy the food from the sounds of it. No way! That was their portion. If they want to save their portion, they should get to save it. I eat way less than other people at meal times because I am a small person. Is it fair if I always get less of whatever is made because I want the leftovers for lunch the next day?
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Jan 23, 2021 20:08
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:That may have been the most childish and abusive possible way to handle it for the dad, but in general don't people eating fresh food get priority over those squirreling it away for leftovers? If someone isn't overweight (and this is a big assumption), is still hungry, and there's food on the table it's a dick move to claim leftovers when you're not even hungry. She didn't even cook or buy the food from the sounds of it. If it’s already on someone’s plate, and they’re not making some weird power play like taking all the mashed potatoes right away (like this dad would do lol), then I think most people would find what he did pretty hosed up. To summarize: no
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Jan 23, 2021 20:11
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It's insane that a major part of BIL's life is being covered up like it didn't even happen. He's extended family and close enough to offer a roof over their heads. The OP didn't need to know any details but to leave information like that out while she's bringing a baby into the house is wild. The whole situation was set up to explode.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:12
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:That may have been the most childish and abusive possible way to handle it for the dad, but in general don't people eating fresh food get priority over those squirreling it away for leftovers? If someone isn't overweight (and this is a big assumption), is still hungry, and there's food on the table it's a dick move to claim leftovers when you're not even hungry. She didn't even cook or buy the food from the sounds of it. If you're at a restaurant with a date and get a to-go box and they angrily snatch the box from your hands and insist on letting them finish the meal right then and there, are you going to call them back because it's their right to fresh food or whatever the gently caress nonsense you're trying to justify this with?
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Jan 23, 2021 20:14
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Dazerbeams posted:It's insane that a major part of BIL's life is being covered up like it didn't even happen. He's extended family and close enough to offer a roof over their heads. The OP didn't need to know any details but to leave information like that out while she's bringing a baby into the house is wild. The whole situation was set up to explode. Also yikeseroo if bro isn’t in therapy. But OP was nonetheless 100% out of line here.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:14
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don longjohns posted:No way! That was their portion. If they want to save their portion, they should get to save it. I eat way less than other people at meal times because I am a small person. Is it fair if I always get less of whatever is made because I want the leftovers for lunch the next day? I guess it's always been different around family meals for me. Everyone gets to eat as much as they want of the fresh cooked food (and if there's not enough to do that, that means there wasn't enough food in the first place), then the rest gets put away. From there leftovers are first come first serve, but no one got to "claim" food from the table until everyone is done eating. And putting food on your plate that you're not going to eat is rude in the first place. And of course not discounting that the point about divvying up food aside, the dad is a major rear end in a top hat and she was right to get out of dodge when she did. 13Pandora13 posted:If you're at a restaurant with a date and get a to-go box and they angrily snatch the box from your hands and insist on letting them finish the meal right then and there, are you going to call them back because it's their right to fresh food or whatever the gently caress nonsense you're trying to justify this with? If you're at a restaurant and get served a family-style meal (big serving plates in the center), and someone starts packing up leftovers before other people are done eating that is pretty weird.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:14
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:I guess it's always been different around family meals for me. Everyone gets to eat as much as they want of the fresh cooked food (and if there's not enough to do that, that means there wasn't enough food in the first place), then the rest gets put away. From there leftovers are first come first serve, but no one got to "claim" food from the table until everyone is done eating. And putting food on your plate that you're not going to eat is rude in the first place. This seems like it turns eating into a competition. Does this even apply to discrete items of food like three lamb chops? Everyone should get an equal share of food like that regardless of their size and appetite.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:18
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:I guess it's always been different around family meals for me. Everyone gets to eat as much as they want of the fresh cooked food (and if there's not enough to do that, that means there wasn't enough food in the first place), then the rest gets put away. From there leftovers are first come first serve, but no one got to "claim" food from the table until everyone is done eating. And putting food on your plate that you're not going to eat is rude in the first place. So if you take a normal size portion, don't finish it, you just dump it back on the family style tray? Or do you wrap your plate and put it in the 'fridge for leftovers because it's already your food (like a normal person)?
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Jan 23, 2021 20:20
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AreWeDrunkYet posted:I guess it's always been different around family meals for me. Everyone gets to eat as much as they want of the fresh cooked food (and if there's not enough to do that, that means there wasn't enough food in the first place), then the rest gets put away. From there leftovers are first come first serve, but no one got to "claim" food from the table until everyone is done eating. And putting food on your plate that you're not going to eat is rude in the first place. This seems like the dumbest possible way for a family to eat dinnee together.
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Jan 23, 2021 20:24
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Chamale posted:This seems like it turns eating into a competition. Does this even apply to discrete items of food like three lamb chops? Everyone should get an equal share of food like that regardless of their size and appetite. It's only competitive if someone in the family is an obese glutton like party sub guy, otherwise why would they keep eating after they're full? It may also help to understand the family's situation. Was there not enough lamb because they couldn't afford it? If not for the extra lamb, is there other food for the daughter to eat? Biplane posted:This seems like the dumbest possible way for a family to eat dinnee together. What's the alternative? Do you tell people to stop eating when there's food on the table and they're still hungry? That sounds like a terrible family dynamic. AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Jan 23, 2021 |
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Jan 23, 2021 20:24
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Deformed Church posted:AITA For Not Telling My Family I was Leaving The House When I Turned 18? Boy, that went from “parentified sibling” to “literal Cinderella poo poo” real fuckin’ quick 
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Jan 23, 2021 20:27
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