Chinese Farmer Discussion Thread

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McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Haier posted:

Also, I saw this cat on wechat.

I thought Chinese people traditionally used soy sauce to marinate... This thread teaches me something new every day.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 19:11

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# ? May 23, 2024 22:06

Mons Hubris: Aug 29, 2004; fanci flup

I was in Hangzhou last weekend and it was actually really nice at West Lake, they were only allowing foot traffic so it was practically empty. The locals were all super pissed about being run out of town and forced to close their businesses two weeks in advance of the G20 though.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 23:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Mechafunkzilla posted:

US delegation very big. Chinese delegation much smaller, like cigarette lighter, do u know?

# ? Sep 5, 2016 00:09

cnut: May 3, 2016

I bet Obama has a big one, that's why he's always so confident.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 00:35

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

computer parts posted:

The best part about Mandarin is the filler word that sounds like the n-word in English.

like any chinese person would ever willingly be close enough to black people for this to be an issue. Koreans too, my mom is terrified of black people. Except obama

# ? Sep 5, 2016 02:32

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

# ? Sep 5, 2016 02:54

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

angel opportunity posted:

This is vaporwave, right? It looks like a typically "ironically" lovely vaporwave album cover.

I had a dream last night that I was in China (I rarely ever dream about China) and I was running here and there looking for some good European-style bread. Everywhere I went just had steamed buns and I was becoming upset about not finding any real bread. I found an Indian restaurant staffed entirely by Persians, and they were selling bread rolls that looked okay, so I bought a few of those. Then I woke up.

Even in my dreams...

# ? Sep 5, 2016 03:03

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Haier posted:

This is vaporwave, right? It looks like a typically "ironically" lovely vaporwave album cover.

I had a dream last night that I was in China (I rarely ever dream about China) and I was running here and there looking for some good European-style bread. Everywhere I went just had steamed buns and I was becoming upset about not finding any real bread. I found an Indian restaurant staffed entirely by Persians, and they were selling bread rolls that looked okay, so I bought a few of those. Then I woke up.

Even in my dreams...

One more bread nightmare!

# ? Sep 5, 2016 03:13

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

foreigners eat too much bread

# ? Sep 5, 2016 03:16

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Fojar38 posted:

foreigners eat too much bread

Bad for healthy.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 03:30

z0glin Warchief: May 16, 2007

angel opportunity posted:

便便尿尿 he was a bad chairman

# ? Sep 5, 2016 05:31

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

# ? Sep 5, 2016 06:10

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

many feelings were just hurt

# ? Sep 5, 2016 07:06

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

great g20 so far

# ? Sep 5, 2016 07:07

Tarantula: Nov 4, 2009; No go ahead stand in the fire, the healer will love the shit out of you.

Video of the chinese official saying "our country!", sadly didn't seem as upset as I thought he was going by the news.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-t4rEFUbRg

Tarantula fucked around with this message at 07:48 on Sep 5, 2016

# ? Sep 5, 2016 07:39

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

chinese shitshow

# ? Sep 5, 2016 07:41

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Fojar38 posted:

many feelings were just hurt

Awesome!

---

Some customers came in to meet with my boss. Three women. They all ignored me and were looking at the products on display until my boss held one up and asked me how we call it in America. I told her and immediately the three women were asking her where I was from and why I can speak English, even though I'm obviously non-Chinese. She told them I'm from the USA and one immediately came and sat next to me.

Her: "Do you want a part-time job?"
Me: "What? Doing what?" (Already knowing where this is going)
Her: "Teaching English to little kids."
Me: "Um, that's probably illegal."
My boss: "Yeah, that's illegal."
Her: "My boss has very very good relationship with the police. Nobody worries that. The police like my boss very much."
Me: "Uhhhh."
Her: "You teach them, make some money. Just phonics."
My boss: "He's never taught English."
Her: "It's ok, he will have a Chinese helper. The kids are three years old."
Me: "Fuckin LMAO"
Her: "Do you want the job? Do you? Did you make up your mind?"
My boss: "Yeah, wanna teach three year olds? Do you?"

She forced me to add her on Wechat and I looked at her pictures and this is definitely "Dancing Monkey English Studio" in a shopping mall somewhere. I got up and went somewhere else until she left and then came back out to drink tea. My boss asked me if I will do it because it's 300 an hour once a week.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:14

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Fojar38 posted:

many feelings were just hurt

Imagine what would have happened if the other 6 candidates were allowed to run. At least there is fresh blood in there and one of the protest leaders got in.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:27

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Fojar38 posted:

many feelings were just hurt

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:31

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

I wonder if Obama has anything to say about this.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:42

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-37269719

quote:

A sarcastic tweet aimed at China and posted on the US Defense Intelligence Agency's Twitter account has fuelled a row over protocol at the G20 summit.

The tweet, which was quickly deleted, read: "Classy as always China".

When President Barack Obama arrived in Hangzhou there was no red carpet and he had to leave by a different plane exit.

There was also a row on the tarmac when a Chinese official shouted "This is our country!" as reporters and US officials tried to bypass a cordon.

President Obama called on reporters "not to over-crank the significance".

However, a Twitter operative of the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) - a secretive spy unit within the defence department that advises on intentions and capabilities of foreign nations and entities - appears to have made things worse, the Wall St Journal reported.

The "Classy as always China" tweet linked through to a New York Times article on the protocol incident, it said.

The DIA felt compelled to issue a speedy apology, saying the posting did "not represent the views of the DIA. We apologize."

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:50

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

surely china will react with the maturity of a country thousands of year older than the US and not like tiny dicked manbabies

# ? Sep 5, 2016 09:57

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

here's a Facebook post from those "On This Day..." from two years ago that I posted

ADVENTURES IN CHINA: Trying to get a cold beer at a bar
I had a one hour wait for the girlfriend to finish something so I figured I would have a beer at a bar and read my book. The story that follows perpetuates stereotypes of these groups perfectly in China. This occurred at 7:30pm on a Thursday night.

The first place I went to was a bar called Indie Bar. Run by a Canadian dude and wildly unreliable, this bar is only open about 15% of the times I've gone there. In fact, I think this bar is only open when the dude who owns it wants to drink. Either way, and not surprisingly, this bar was not open when I went there.

I left and saw a place called Beer Bar. Sounds promising, right? Walked down some stairs and entered and immediately had two Chinese guys yell "HALLLLO!!!" at me. Then this conversation happened.

Me: Do you guys have beer?
Bartender: We do!
Me: What do you have?
Bartender: Wait a minute. (leaves. Comes back with a warm Snow Beer, which is just terrible Chinese beer.)
Me: I don't like that. Do you have anything else?
Bartender: No.
Me: Do you have any of that cold?
Bartender: No.
Me: Ok nevermind. (start to walk away)
Bartender: Wait! Wait! What do you want?
Me: I want a cold beer.
Bartender: How about this beer? (holds up the warm Snow)
Me: No, I don't want that.
Bartender: Do you want another beer?
Me: Yes. Do you have any other beer?
Bartender: No.
Me: Ok, bye.

And of course, while leaving, the bartender keeps shouting "wait, wait! Come back!" I have no idea what he was going to offer me but I wasn't interested in finding out.

I then walked three blocks to Gang Gang Cellar, a Japanese run bar. I arrived and sat at the bar and within a minute had a cold draft Kirin that tasted amazing. I was given two pieces of a bread with butter and halfway through my beer the manager came over, thanked me for coming, and said they had half a bottle of wine leftover from a party that had left and asked if I wanted to try it. I sat there for 45 minutes, read my book by candlelight, and was blissfully happy.

THIS is how you gain customers, people.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 10:53

aeglus: Jul 13, 2003; WEEK 1 - RETIRED

Haier posted:

Awesome!

---

Some customers came in to meet with my boss. Three women. They all ignored me and were looking at the products on display until my boss held one up and asked me how we call it in America. I told her and immediately the three women were asking her where I was from and why I can speak English, even though I'm obviously non-Chinese. She told them I'm from the USA and one immediately came and sat next to me.

Her: "Do you want a part-time job?"
Me: "What? Doing what?" (Already knowing where this is going)
Her: "Teaching English to little kids."
Me: "Um, that's probably illegal."
My boss: "Yeah, that's illegal."
Her: "My boss has very very good relationship with the police. Nobody worries that. The police like my boss very much."
Me: "Uhhhh."
Her: "You teach them, make some money. Just phonics."
My boss: "He's never taught English."
Her: "It's ok, he will have a Chinese helper. The kids are three years old."
Me: "Fuckin LMAO"
Her: "Do you want the job? Do you? Did you make up your mind?"
My boss: "Yeah, wanna teach three year olds? Do you?"

She forced me to add her on Wechat and I looked at her pictures and this is definitely "Dancing Monkey English Studio" in a shopping mall somewhere. I got up and went somewhere else until she left and then came back out to drink tea. My boss asked me if I will do it because it's 300 an hour once a week.

300 USD is decent for being an English monkey.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 10:55

The Great Autismo!: Mar 3, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

aeglus posted:

300 USD is decent for being an English monkey.

lol its 300rmb/hour. which isn't bad, but it's probably not worth your time or dignity if you've been in china and have an actual job

# ? Sep 5, 2016 10:55

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Fauxtool posted:

surely china will react with the maturity of a country thousands of year older than the US and not like tiny dicked manbabies

still looking for a case study in how triggered chinese get when you point out that the PRC was founded in 1949 while the USA was founded in 1776

# ? Sep 5, 2016 14:02

do it on my face: Feb 6, 2005; °

Feelings update: still hurt.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-09-05/g20-barack-obama-airport-fiasco-blamed-on-united-states-by-china/7817310

quote:

China has levelled responsibility at the United States and journalists for a fracas at a Chinese airport, in which officials of both countries exchanged heated remarks as President Barack Obama disembarked from his aircraft.

The comments by a foreign ministry spokeswoman were in response to questions whether China, which is hosting the G20 summit at the eastern city of Hangzhou, intentionally failed to provide Mr Obama's plane with a staircase, an event that has fuelled speculation it was a diplomatic snub.

"I think if only the American group had respected the working arrangements first made with China then this wouldn't have occurred," Ms Hua Chunying told reporters in Beijing on Monday.

"You saw that all the other country leaders all used the stairs that China provided. So why was it only the United States that didn't? These were the stairs the United States requested."

Ms Hua questioned why China would intentionally create trouble for the United States, adding that the incident was not a high-level issue, echoing comments made by Mr Obama.

A Chinese security official had also blocked National Security Adviser Susan Rice on the tarmac and yelled at another US official trying to help journalists get closer to President Obama.

Ms Hua criticised the media for not respecting China's rules on where to stand to capture images of Mr Obama leaving the plane, adding that other countries' reporters were fine.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 15:05

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

music, sweet music

# ? Sep 5, 2016 15:21

peak debt: Mar 11, 2001; b& :(; Nap Ghost

The Great Autismo! posted:

lol its 300rmb/hour. which isn't bad, but it's probably not worth your time or dignity if you've been in china and have an actual job

Also they're going to cut the rate after the first month and you can't complain because the job is illegal anyway. Then if you quit they keep the last month's pay.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 15:39

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

VenMalakim posted:

Feelings update: still hurt.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-09-05/g20-barack-obama-airport-fiasco-blamed-on-united-states-by-china/7817310

lmao, looks like the Chinese haven't figured out the whole "face" thing doesn't work on the world stage the same way it works in China. what a bunch of petulant babies.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 16:20

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

For all we know it really could have been a honest mistake or some lone ultra-nationalist middle manager going of reservation but because of Face it turns something minor into an international incident. Normal countries would just apologize in private on the spot and brought out the welcome wagon or just say mistakes were made but we warmly welcome Mr President, not shout "This is our country" like some Redneck Farmer.

How far are the Chinese going to dig? All the way to China?

# ? Sep 5, 2016 16:34

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

VenMalakim posted:

Feelings update: still hurt.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-09-05/g20-barack-obama-airport-fiasco-blamed-on-united-states-by-china/7817310

"Yew see that? Them reds is showing Obummer who he is. drat right. #not_my_president"

# ? Sep 5, 2016 16:46

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

More Wechat wall goodness.

I just want to rub their heads and feel the pokey fuzz.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 16:47

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

oohhboy posted:

For all we know it really could have been a honest mistake or some lone ultra-nationalist middle manager going of reservation but because of Face it turns something minor into an international incident. Normal countries would just apologize in private on the spot and brought out the welcome wagon or just say mistakes were made but we warmly welcome Mr President, not shout "This is our country" like some Redneck Farmer.

How far are the Chinese going to dig? All the way to China?

if it was an actual mistake they would have thrown whomever under the bus/executed them already.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 17:06

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

the person who made the error was a temp

# ? Sep 5, 2016 17:34

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

"The US leader said it was not the first time something like that had happened, as hosting global events such as the G20 can be tricky."

ahaha, gods i love the idea of him patting their heads and going "maybe when you're a big country you can avoid loving up"