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Jun 19, 2024 02:36
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- SilvergunSuperman
- Aug 7, 2010
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Imo asking someone to change their hair color for your wedding is a hard YTA, period.
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Mar 13, 2020 16:34
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- Serephina
- Nov 8, 2005
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恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー
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I believe the connoisseur would label it 'ESH'.
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Mar 13, 2020 16:41
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- Fatkraken
- Jun 23, 2005
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Fun-time is over.
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Imo asking someone to change their hair color for your wedding is a hard YTA, period.
Even after asking the more open "will it still be that colour?" and getting a repeated hard "no"? I'm gonna go with bride not being in the wrong for once, don't make promises you have no intention of keeping, especially regarding an incredibly expensive and stress inducing event.
TBH sounds like this chick is really hard work and a "legacy friend" from way back that bride and OP don't even really get on with anymore, this being just the straw that broke the camels back in terms of the relationship being worth keeping up.
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Mar 13, 2020 16:45
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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Caring about someone's hair color is extreme boomer energy, though, which makes them TA. Sounds like bridesmaid and bride/op are on different paths and shouldn't really try to force a friendship anymore.
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Mar 13, 2020 16:56
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- FUCKFACE MORON
- Apr 23, 2010
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by sebmojo
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Caring about someone's hair color is extreme boomer energy, though, which makes them TA.
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Mar 13, 2020 17:00
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- Loden Taylor
- Aug 11, 2003
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Using male and female to refer to people is objectively dehumanizing, hence the police and military language. And internalized misogyny and racism is nothing new to hear about.
On the one hand, I get it - they're trying to get people to use more professional language, and male/female breaks people of the habit of using diminutive terms when referring to adult women (girls, chicks, etc).
On the other hand it leads to poo poo like, when you've got a dual military couple of the same rank, one becomes "Sergeant Doe, male-type" and the other "Sergeant Doe, female-type."
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Mar 13, 2020 17:08
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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AITA for having an orgasm during a foot massage at a spa?
quote:A few weeks ago during spring break I took a trip to Florida with my friends and we went to a spa together. We all had private massage sessions with a massage therapist. I took an edible beforehand so I was really high before I went. My massage therapist was a guy in his early 30s and he was really nice and professional.
The massage started off great but once he got to my feet that’s when things got different. He was putting pressure points on my feet and rubbing it in circles. i felt a wave of sexual pleasure hit me and i didn’t tell him to stop. the pleasure kept building up and i had an orgasm and let out a moan. this has never happened to me before during a foot massage but i’ve never gotten a foot massage while being high. the massage therapist looked uncomfortable and didn’t say anything about it and moved to another section of my body. i don’t know if what happened to me was normal but i feel bad i didn’t ask him to stop but at the same time it felt too good to ask him to stop. AITA?
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Mar 13, 2020 17:16
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- Cythereal
- Nov 8, 2009
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I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
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We're all just pieces on some general's tabletop game.
I've actually read a YA book with this premise, IIRC called The Homeward Bounders or some such. Was pretty decent.
I believe the connoisseur would label it 'ESH'.
Seconded. On the other hand, hair color is something very petty to be a dick about. On the other hand, refusing to make a change after repeatedly promising to is also the mark of a dick.
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Mar 13, 2020 17:16
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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AITA for having an orgasm during a foot massage at a spa?
Saw the word foot, author is an rear end in a top hat for exposing us to their wank fantasy
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Mar 13, 2020 17:17
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- Bruceski
- Aug 21, 2007
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Live, laugh, kupo!
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On the one hand, I get it - they're trying to get people to use more professional language, and male/female breaks people of the habit of using diminutive terms when referring to adult women (girls, chicks, etc).
On the other hand it leads to poo poo like, when you've got a dual military couple of the same rank, one becomes "Sergeant Doe, male-type" and the other "Sergeant Doe, female-type."
One site I frequent (Not Always Right) implemented this as an editorial change for I assume similar reasons, but they just do a blanket replacement on submissions and everything feels awkward. It can be clumsy enough when people use it on purpose and the reader's not expecting it, but dropping it into someone else's writing style doesn't work a lot of the time.
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Mar 13, 2020 17:19
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- Tesseraction
- Apr 5, 2009
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AITA for still calling my stepdad "dad"?
quote:Sorry it's a throwaway.
So I never knew my biological dad. He and mum weren't serious and she doesn't like to talk about him, I don't even know his name. However, when I was 5 she married my stepdad and he was great! He had two kids (twins, 6 years older than me) already himself and he never treated me any different from them. Like, he literally got himself, his other son and me matching team jumpers with our names on for when we go to the rugby. Then, last year, him and mum got divorced. I've not been findng it super easy, especially since mum has a new partner now and he isn't as nice to me as my stepdad was, but I'm okay.
Here's the issue though. For the 9 years they were married I called my stepdad "Dad". Like, if people asked me or I was talking about him I'd say my stepdad, but if I was addressing him directly I'd call him Dad, if that makes any sense at all. I haven't stopped doing it since they got divorced. I've been sleeping over at his house every other weekend, and seeing him sometimes on other days to do activities and things. Keep calling him dad. I will admit us hanging out has kind of been tapering off, though.
Anyway, my big sister offered me a lift to school this morning. She told me when we were in the car that I should stop being so attached to Dad and that I should even stop calling him Dad. I asked why, and she said that he isn't my real dad. I told her I know that but he's been my dad for the last decade. She said no, he was my stepdad because he was married to my mum and now he isn't so he isn't anything to me any more. She said that he was letting me stay and things at first to be polite but now it was getting silly, I'm not a baby any more, I need to grow up etc. I asked if this was coming from him or if it was her own idea and she said "what do you think?"
I'm very upset. I'm on morning break at school rn and I haven't been able to focus in class all morning. I feel terrible that I've been making him think that he has to treat me a certain way and I feel like a stupid baby for being so clingy. I talked to my mate about it and he said my sister isn't being fair and neither is my stepdad if this was his idea but idk. I just feel really really really bad for having been so stupid.
I hosed up, didn't I? I'm the rear end in a top hat, right?
Sorry your stepsister is a piece of poo poo, op.
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Mar 13, 2020 17:23
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- DemoneeHo
- Nov 9, 2017
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Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca
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AITA if I don’t want to repair a bridge a family member burnt down and just thinks it should all be water under said bridge.
quote:Good Evening wonderful Judges Of reddit, I am mobile etc etc. now let’s get into why you stopped by today.
About a decade ago my older sister Nancy (fake name) got engaged to Timmy (also fake) and when they announced it to our family we couldn’t have been happier. Since our immediate family is in the south we’re all our other family is in the north we sat at the dinner table drinking champagne with my sister and her new fiancé calling all our family from the north getting all the congratulations and hoorays it was a truest peaceful time until Grandma attacked.
When my sister told my Grandparents she was engaged my Grandfather was over the moon he’d be able to attend her wedding, but my grandmother just kind of scoffed over the phone and said “congratulations I guess”. We were all a little taken aback and when we asked her to clarify she said “Since your so loose with your morals god knows how long this will last, you do tend to jump on the first guy that’s interested.” My sister ran off to her old room bawling her eyes out with her fiancé and my mother in tow, while my father is tearing into HIS mother with a stream of swearing and fury I not thought him capable of.
Fast forward my sister get married and has the first batch of grand babies on either side, she is still No Contact with Grandma as she has never apologized for her comments. For work I am staying in my hometown visiting some of our business partners for a few days. My dad calls me and asks if I would be willing to meet with her for lunch so she can have some relationship with her grand kids before she dies.
Here’s where I am have become an rear end. I told my dad that If she wanted a relationship with us she needed to fix things with my sister first before I would want to work on our relationship, and in pipes grandma from another line saying that it was so long ago who cares what she said was the truth. So I responded with a simple the next time I will be in the same room as you is when they are closing the casket and putting you in the ground, and hung up on them.
My grandmother is upset I would say that and my dad agrees but my sister thanked me for having her back, but said I may have been too harsh on someone just trying to mend a broken relationship.
So AITA for basically telling my bitch of a grandmother the next time we are in the same room will be her funeral.
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Mar 13, 2020 18:19
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- Hellblazer187
- Oct 12, 2003
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AITA for still calling my stepdad "dad"?
Sorry your stepsister is a piece of poo poo, op.
Ugh. I assume it's the stepsister being weirdly jealous and protective. I hope she talks to her dad and either hears it from him straight up or finds out step sister is garbage.
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Mar 13, 2020 18:26
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- Captain Hygiene
- Sep 17, 2007
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You mess with the crabbo...
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Me [29M] faded and F R I E N D Z O N E D by [26F]. Was there anything I could have done to save the situation?
quote:I’ve been living in my head thinking about what went wrong with this woman I’ve fallen for.
We first met back in mid-2018, connected briefly, then went back to our respective countries which are on opposite sides of the world. We stayed in touch and met once again at the end of the year when I travelled to her country.
During the second half of 2019, we got in touch again and started text almost every day and have occasional scheduled calls. While we still lived far away, I felt there was a connection between us and the conversations have always been… natural, raw and personal. As we grew closer, I picked up the courage to do things that I hoped would show how I felt, such as sending her a gift on her birthday, which she seemed to love. I’ve been honest about how I thought she was special and amazing - although I never said “I like you”.
Then, we met again in Christmas 2019 when I travelled to her place again. At this point, I started to really like her but was unsure of what would happen with the distance - and the fact that there’s no chance of us moving closer to each other in the next 2 years at least. We went out a few times and had the best time. I did what I thought would show how I felt - flowers, gifts with handwritten notes, picked up the tabs and planned the dates to her liking. By this point, it was clear that both of us really enjoyed each other’s company. She has always been receptive of my advances and said she had lovely time with me, asked me to visit often.
I was still hesitant to tell her outright I liked her, as I was still hoping there would come a day in which we’ll live in the same city together, and I’d stand a better chance then. Throughout our interaction, I've felt she's not the type who could do a long-distance. I was trying to make an arrangement in which I would live closer to her for a few months mid-year and wanted to use the momentum to tell her then.
Anyway, after returning home, we still texted. I did a couple more things to keep keep the “sparks”, e.g. sending flowers to her office, which she said she liked!
However, several weeks in, things turned different. After she came back from a trip to visit her parents, her schedules had turned busy with work and other commitments, and she started responding less. I didn’t have any reason to believe that she didn’t want to speak with me - everything was going well just before that. I didn’t hear back for a couple of weeks, couldn’t call her. Finally managed to hear back. She said she’d been hectic so wasn’t able to text anymore. I was surprised so decided to tell her outright how I felt. She then said she just wanted to be friends and saw me as a friend/brother figure and that she doesn't want me to waste my effort/time. I was surprised because she never referred to me as a "friend".
I've been replaying this to figure out if there was anything I could have done to save the situation. Or is trying to build a relationship someone you barely know long-distance a lost cause from the beginning?
Tl;dr Faded by and turned down by a woman I went out a few times with, texted daily for months. Wondering if I did anything wrong!
I can't believe my plan to move my entire life based on the unverified assumption that we were in a committed relationship didn't work!
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Mar 13, 2020 18:41
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for having a guys night for my birthday and inviting 3 girls later on?
quote:I’m 24 M and my birthday is in 2 weekends from now. I’ve been planning a big get together of all my friends. Like 12 guys were going to pregame at my place and go to bars downtown. I am single, along with half of the guys in the group. I am pretty close with a couple of the girlfriends, and I like all of them except for one. That is not really relevant to the story though.
Of course the girlfriends did not have an issue with these plans as we’ve had guys nights before. Well, on Sunday, a female friend of mine who moved away that I still remain close with told me she was going to be back in town for that weekend and asked what was going on for my birthday. I was thrilled because I haven’t seen her since summer so I invited her to the plans. She said her cousin and her friend who is visiting with her would be around that night and I had no objection. I told the guys who knew this girl and expected excitement, I got mixed results.
The ones with girlfriends said they had to tell their girlfriends, except one guy who just thought he could get away with just not mentioning it. A got a few texts today, 2 of my friends told me that their girlfriends were upset at our “guys night” with 3 girls. One girlfriend texted me saying she loved the idea of the “no girlfriends night” and said I was a dick because these girls are my friends too. I tried to explain the situation and she wouldn’t have it. The guys don’t know what to do, they are telling me to just let the girlfriends come. A reason I don’t want to is because whenever the big group is together one couple gets in a fight and things get awkward for awhile. I just want a fun birthday, also I know it’s not a good trait but some of the guys are just more fun and spontaneous (I don’t mean cheat or anything) when they aren’t with their girlfriends. the girlfriends who know this girl aren’t the biggest fans either, they have all claimed she is a flirt with their boyfriends. I don’t really see it though.
A potential solution a few single guys came up with is to walk back the invite to the pregame to my friend, and have her meet us downtown. That way “it’s a public place, girlfriends can’t be pissed if we run into them at a bar”. Idk. Still seems lovely.
AITA for inviting these girls in the first place?
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Mar 13, 2020 19:01
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for getting my coworker fired?
quote:So I just recently started working for a company that is VERY public about it's political views. Let's call this company....Jen and Berry's.....The very foundation of the company is built on left leaning ideologies. If you're not already aware of this, a quick google search will tell you everything you need to know. In our training videos there was at least an hour worth of information about their politics and how employees have to contribute to their social missions. The training videos specifically talk a lot about Jen and Berry's work to end racial inequality.
I started working there about two weeks ago and I am really enjoying it. It's a great atmosphere and the work is fun and rewarding. The only problem is I have this ONE coworker. Let's call her Jane. Jane is a much older white lady who has been with the company awhile. From day one Jane has made very alarming comments to me about some of Jen and Berry's politics. Like saying she doesn't believe they should work to embolden ONE race because that's inequality and they're being racist. When I asked her to explain what she meant by that she said "They're obviously being racist against white people. That's obvious to anyone who isn't black." These comments have progressively gotten worse. Whenever I call her out on it she gets very dismissive and says something among the lines of "come on relax it's not that serious". The last straw was a few days ago when she confided in me that she thinks one of our white coworkers might be dating a black man. She said and I quote "didn't think she was into darker meat but whatever floats your boat". I was really fed up and extremely uncomfortable. It seemed like she only made comments like this around me and our white coworkers but got REALLY quiet and distant whenever POC were around. I tried to let it go but it just didn't sit right with me. I told my supervisor about her comments and he said it was unacceptable and he would talk with her about it. I'm not sure how their conversation went but I go in yesterday to discover she was fired.
It obviously got out that I was the one who told our manager. I'm getting mixed responses from my coworkers. Some of them had been uncomfortable with Jane's behavior for awhile and were glad something was done about it. Others have worked with Jane for years and are pissed that a newbie snitched and got a good employee fired. I feel kinda lovely because I didn't want her to lose her job, I just wanted her to stop saying inappropriate and racially insensitive things to me. AITA?
Edit: I definitely think her remarks would have been unacceptable even if Jen and Berry's WASN'T so left leaning politics wise. The reason I felt that was an important detail to mention is because politics is such a big part of our jobs and EVERY time something like that would come up in a professional context (like when the proceeds of a new product go towards criminal justice reform, a product we have that says "love comes in all flavors" in support of LGBT rights, etc) she would make an inappropriate comment.
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Mar 13, 2020 20:13
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- Mr. Fall Down Terror
- Jan 24, 2018
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by Fluffdaddy
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regardless of politics you're real dumb if you start leaning on the new employees to share all your hot gossip
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Mar 13, 2020 20:44
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- Grimdude
- Sep 25, 2006
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It was a shame how he carried on
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Me [29M] faded and F R I E N D Z O N E D by [26F]. Was there anything I could have done to save the situation?
I can't believe my plan to move my entire life based on the unverified assumption that we were in a committed relationship didn't work!
What a dink.
Sounds like despite his best efforts to portray it otherwise, he actually never made any indication they should date. Sounds like they just had friend dates and joked around via text for years.
I may have missed it, but I see no indication of physical contact or romance at all really.
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Mar 13, 2020 21:04
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for treating my wife like a little kid?
quote:So I run a small business as a contractor. My trade can be "touch and go" and times and things slow down quite a bit in the winter. We are fortunate enough that my income allows my wife to stay home with the kids (7,3,2)
When work is slow my wife goes on "vacation" Meaning that I handle the morning routine. Get the kids up, get them fed, dressed, ready for the day while she sleeps in. Personally I like this routine because it gives me some time to bond with the kids. I don't get a whole lot of that when I'm in my busy season.
So recently I picked up a big job that I started about 2 weeks Problem is that my wife is still in vacation mode. I'll try to get her up "ok yea I'm coming" half hour goes by and try again "mhmm yea I'm up"... on and on and on until like 930 rolls around and I'm finally leaving the house. Not an enormous problem on occasion but this is a daily thing now.
I had talked to her twice already and explained to her that this is kinda screwing with my schedule/timeline and being that I'm the sole source of income it's pretty important that I'm getting jobs done and making money in a timely fashion (no poo poo). I can't exactly leave a 3 and 2 year old unsupervised for multiple hours so I can't go to work until she's up and at it.
Well yesterday my "straw" ... after dogging her about getting up I just went in to our room, opened the curtains and yanked the blanket off the bed. "I'm leaving right now and I need you to get out of bed let's go". Understandably she was annoyed but I couldn't really find it in me to care.
Didn't hear from her all day (usually I'll get a handful of texts throughout) and when I get home I got the cold shoulder. Later on she told me she was mad because I treated her like a 10yr old that was going to be late for school. I told her that I've been trying to give her time to get back in the swing but the grace period is over. Time to get back on the horse. The conversation ended pretty quickly after that. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. She got up with the kids today but I'm still getting "the cold shoulder"
I got a few INFO's so: this year I have been full steam ahead from the gate which is nice but not normal. Usually it takes us both a bit to "switch gears" but this year it's a bit different. This isn't a matter of being depressed I can all but assure you of that. This is more a matter of staying up til 2am watching movies. Understandable since that's kinda our thing in my down time but the down time is over.
So AITA here? Cause I really feel like I haven't done much wrong.
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Mar 13, 2020 22:01
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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...Is this the same bridesmaid as that jade green wedding from awhile back?
No, she had her natural hair color.
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Mar 14, 2020 00:08
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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AITA for making a harsh comment to my sister?
quote:My sister has recently fell on really hard times. Her boyfriend left her and their son. She recently got evicted due to missing several months worth of payments. Etc.
She then asked me if she could crash at my place. I just said no. 2 year olds are the most disgusting people and it’s honestly not safe now. Plus, I’m already pretty germaphobic.
She then proceeds to berate me on how heartless I am. I take that for about a minute, then I basically say that she shouldn’t have slept around. I think that’s fair. She insulted me, and I insulted her. Pretty par for the course for sibling rivalries. Then she proceeds to tell all of her friends what I said without giving any context. So he rumors eventually reach my friends, who now think I should let her crash at my place.
Yet none of them are willing for her to crash at their place. And no, now I’m definitely not going to let her
Edit: She “bullied” me a lot when I was younger. Made fun of my acne, though I did reciprocate. So it technically wasn’t bullying.
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Mar 14, 2020 00:14
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- GORDON
- Jan 1, 2006
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by Fluffdaddy
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AITA for treating my wife like a little kid?
NTA. When you have kids you no longer have the luxury of "I just can't even."
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Mar 14, 2020 00:15
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- Fuck Your Website
- Nov 29, 2003
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FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE
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Me [29M] faded and F R I E N D Z O N E D by [26F]. Was there anything I could have done to save the situation?
I picked up the courage to do things that I hoped would show how I felt, such as sending her a gift on her birthday, which she seemed to love.
I never said “I like you”.
I did what I thought would show how I felt
I was still hesitant to tell her outright I liked her
I did a couple more things to keep keep the “sparks”, e.g. sending flowers to her office, which she said she liked!
So weird, usually people hate getting gifts on their birthday and generally speak up to say how much they hate getting flowers sent to them.
I consistently acted like a friend to her, why did I end up F R I E N D Z O N E D???
Baffling puzzle, females are incomprehensible
Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Mar 14, 2020
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Mar 14, 2020 00:50
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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WIBTA if I (33m) quit after my FIL (60s) made my BIL (24m) my boss?
quote:I guess I should start with the background. I've been working at my FIL's company for the last 12 years now, it started as me shadowing him when I was at college, progressed to me taking a year out from college working as a paid intern and then getting the job and working my way up. During interning I met and then started dating my wife (35f), who at the time I just thought was a receptionist.
During my time at the company, we have grown significantly from having a small and crowded office space to being one of the leading firms in our field, with offices worldwide. The way the business is setup is that my FIL is the CEO and majority shareholder, a couple of his buddies take up the Chief and President of whatever roles and then you have the managers. I currently answer to someone whose like the Vice CFO (50s m).
The CFO (late 60s f) has left the role to become a CEO at a competitor, who have recruiting a lot of our employees, with my boss replacing her. I was tapped to fill his role when my FIL made the direct order to give the role to BIL. This was around a month ago.
I don't want to knock my BIL as I think he's a decent guy and has a good head on his shoulders, but he is truly too inexperienced to be in this position. He has been coming to me for advice and I've been helping him out because what else are you going to do for family, but the thing is that I feel like I should have that job and I'm basically doing his job for him with him getting the credit and me being paid way less than what I should be.
Last week the wife and I were out in town and we bumped into the former CEO and her husband. She asked me how I liked my new role and I basically told her that BIL has the role but everything is going good. She told me that their restructuring at the other company and the CFO role is available if I want it, the pay is a smidge below what a CFO should be getting, but is around 3x what I'm making now. There's a lot of opportunity to grow and if I play my cards right I could be CEO by the time I'm 45.
The wife thinks I should take the role, but has admitted that she'd prefer it if I didn't as it would make family get togethers incredibly uncomfortable (lol). At the end of the day she believes that it's my call as it's my job and she will back me 100%.
So Reddit wibta if I was to quit after my FIL promoted my BIL and went to go work for a rival who is on the up?
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Mar 14, 2020 01:56
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- SilvergunSuperman
- Aug 7, 2010
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Hi should take 3x the pay or continue to suck the poo poo directly out of an rear end in a top hat, pls help.
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Mar 14, 2020 02:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 19, 2024 02:36
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Mar 13, 2020 16:32
