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He was a decent kid up until he met that rat bastard Harry Potter
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Dec 16, 2020 20:46
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Hermione should hit up Krum again. Sexy, self-made quidditch prodigy who spent his time at Durmstrang beating the poo poo out of the edgelord kids who drew wizarding swastikas. Dude was a catch. You make him sound pretty cool, what did he do wrong to deserve Hermione?
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Dec 16, 2020 21:33
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As an 18 year old with a job, he spent a year leering at a 15-year-old in a school library.
josh04 fucked around with this message at 22:11 on Dec 16, 2020 |
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Dec 16, 2020 22:06
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Ron went to work for his brothers at their joke shop? Like as his whole adult career? I guess Hermione would be the breadwinner of the house, and I'd say that Ron should just be a stay-at-home dad, but there's not that much you have to do when your kids are off at boarding school. Is there any wizarding-elementary school, or do they homeschool their kids, or do they go to muggle elementary and never speak to their childhood friends ever again after they come of age?
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Dec 17, 2020 00:33
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There is no Wizarding Elementary School, which is probably why the average wizard is so loving clueless that Dumbledore guarding the Philosopher's Stone with grade school level logic puzzles was considered unparalleled security. IIRC there are couple times when the hysteria around Dumbledore and/or Voldy reach a fever pitch that you hear about parents threatening or actually pulling their kids out of Hogwarts, which seems to imply attendance is not mandatory and some other form of schooling - home or otherwise - does exist.
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Dec 17, 2020 00:55
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Top moment in book 5 is when Harry boasts that he's the wizard who defeated a sphinx last year. Lest we forgot the Sphinx's deadly brain teaser: quote:First think of the person who lives in disguise,
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Dec 17, 2020 02:08
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To Harry’s credit he spends most of book 5 repeatedly saying “actually everything cool I did was through luck or with other people helping” but everyone was so desperate for non-Umbridge lessons that they basically begged him
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Dec 17, 2020 02:16
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Harry also spends most of book 5 ruminating about how unfair it is that Ron and Hermione were made prefects and he wasn't since he's the real hero did actually did all the cool poo poo. Book 5 Harry is a land of hormonal contrasts.
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Dec 17, 2020 03:32
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SlothfulCobra posted:Ron went to work for his brothers at their joke shop? Like as his whole adult career? I guess Hermione would be the breadwinner of the house, and I'd say that Ron should just be a stay-at-home dad, but there's not that much you have to do when your kids are off at boarding school. Well first he becomes a wizard cop with Harry and Neville for a few years. Then eventually he and Neville bounce and get not-poo poo jobs as a Joke shop proprietor and Herbology Professor. And fun extra canonical details say that Ron basically goes because George turns into a depressed alcoholic with grief and is on the verge of going out of business for a while! Meanwhile Hermione's career trajectory goes from working to institute sweeping legal changes at the department for Magical creatures that like gives non-humans rights to being promoted to 'head cop' where suddenly all her cool reforms and laws just sort of stop.
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Dec 17, 2020 03:40
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To be honest Neville getting pressured into being a wizard cop by his Gran because his parents were wizard cops and she wants him to live up to their legacy, only to bounce off the job relatively quickly because he's got enough humility and self awareness to realize wizard cops loving suck and move on to something he both enjoys and does way more societal good is pretty on brand for his character. Harry sitting alone at his cubical, staring at his wall of criminals he's bagged and thrown in the slammer, assuring himself that this is actually the best job in the world and his two friends quit not because they recognized Aurors are poo poo, but because they didn't have what it takes.
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Dec 17, 2020 03:46
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josh04 posted:Top moment in book 5 is when Harry boasts that he's the wizard who defeated a sphinx last year. This one was actually challenging as an american accented kid because of "er" vs "uh" as the thing you uhhhhh, what's the thing, say
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Dec 17, 2020 04:08
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josh04 posted:Top moment in book 5 is when Harry boasts that he's the wizard who defeated a sphinx last year. Even then Harry missed one clue and 3/4 was enough to figure out the answer. The sphinx was definitely going easy on him.
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Dec 17, 2020 05:12
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Auror is not really a one-to-one with real world cops tbf, in the world of the books there are actually evil wizards who can do gnarly stuff with their power like control minds. In the real world the cops work for and are the people who use their power to hurt powerless people. Not that there aren’t parallels and the aurors still gently caress up and are prone to corruption but the magic world at least everyone is roughly on equal footing and the ministry of magic doesn’t hold the vast majority of the power the way the state and corporations do in our hell world
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Dec 17, 2020 05:21
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SlothfulCobra posted:Ron went to work for his brothers at their joke shop? Like as his whole adult career? I guess Hermione would be the breadwinner of the house, and I'd say that Ron should just be a stay-at-home dad, but there's not that much you have to do when your kids are off at boarding school. I thought Wizarding was basically post scarcity, held in check by wizards being extraordinarily dumb?
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Dec 17, 2020 05:28
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Guy A. Person posted:Auror is not really a one-to-one with real world cops tbf, in the world of the books there are actually evil wizards who can do gnarly stuff with their power like control minds. In the real world the cops work for and are the people who use their power to hurt powerless people. Yeah I was under the impression from the books that the Aurors were explicitly only dark-magic-catchers and not just regular law enforcement. (Of course this is the Ministry so they probably rebrand whatever is politically convenient as 'dark') (I guess Aurors are basically SWAT.) MikeJF fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Dec 17, 2020 |
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Dec 17, 2020 05:31
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Guy A. Person posted:Auror is not really a one-to-one with real world cops tbf, in the world of the books there are actually evil wizards who can do gnarly stuff with their power like control minds. In the real world the cops work for and are the people who use their power to hurt powerless people. If you think about it, all wizards are constantly armed... (This isnt where I intended to go with this reply, but it's the logical end to all individual wizards being roughly equally potent / dangerous, barring exceptions like dumbledore. Wizard fights, and by extension the ministry's power are just a numbers game.)
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Dec 17, 2020 05:34
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Auror is more FBI/CIA type, yeah.
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Dec 17, 2020 06:30
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Tulip posted:I thought Wizarding was basically post scarcity, held in check by wizards being extraordinarily dumb? Not entirely post-scarcity, since book seven establishes that there are some things like food that can't just be conjured out of thin air.
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Dec 17, 2020 07:02
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W.T. Fits posted:Not entirely post-scarcity, since book seven establishes that there are some things like food that can't just be conjured out of thin air. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgct3Jn8pFA
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Dec 17, 2020 08:06
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Mistaken Identity posted:I really have to re-read that passage, that was exactly what I filed away under "dumb superstition". After all that is kind of the only time we know of of a curse working in such a way, isn't it? I need to continue my tangent by selflessly talking to myself because this curse thing has me kind of obsessed the last few days and I can't get it out of my head unless I vomit forth my thoughts and I don't have any other receptable for weird Harry Potter trivia right now except this thread sooooo... you're welcome. Let's play this straight and say this is actually how this curse works and it has been demonstrably sort of effective. Disregarding the fact that by the time Harry Potter starts they must have cycled through the whole pool of potential teachers in all of England (which kind of makes sense since every teacher Harry does get is kind of bottom of the barrel material) then why the gently caress did Voldemort waste such an apparently uncounterable curse (because no way Dumbledore would have let that run its course out of gross negligence, right? ...right....) on a petty reason like cursing the Defense against the Dark Arts position instead of, say, the HEADMASTER position? 
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Dec 17, 2020 09:30
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Guy A. Person posted:Hermione would totally get everything [in a divorce], she is way smarter than Ron and would defo trick him loving yikes dude.
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Dec 17, 2020 11:00
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yeah no need for tricks by the divorce ron would be halfway through a transformation into a magic sovcit/MRA and probably ends up with supervised access to the kids one day a week
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Dec 17, 2020 11:25
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Mistaken Identity posted:I need to continue my tangent by selflessly talking to myself because this curse thing has me kind of obsessed the last few days and I can't get it out of my head unless I vomit forth my thoughts and I don't have any other receptable for weird Harry Potter trivia right now except this thread sooooo... you're welcome. I've said before that Voldemort being ludicrously petty and spiteful is literally his entire characterisation
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Dec 17, 2020 12:03
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Guy A. Person posted:To Harry’s credit he spends most of book 5 repeatedly saying “actually everything cool I did was through luck or with other people helping” but everyone was so desperate for non-Umbridge lessons that they basically begged him Oh yeah, I think Harry's complaint is fine I just think the Sphinx, and really the entire maze task, is a bit of a damp squib (wet Filch)
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Dec 17, 2020 12:26
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:This one was actually challenging as an american accented kid because of "er" vs "uh" as the thing you uhhhhh, what's the thing, say I had that exact same problem. I had no idea British people said "err" instead.
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Dec 17, 2020 13:25
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Zore posted:Well first he becomes a wizard cop with Harry and Neville for a few years. Then eventually he and Neville bounce and get not-poo poo jobs as a Joke shop proprietor and Herbology Professor. And fun extra canonical details say that Ron basically goes because George turns into a depressed alcoholic with grief and is on the verge of going out of business for a while! Didn't George end up marrying his twin brother's girlfriend and had a kid they named Fred Jr.? Because you can potentially read it as the two only hooking up because neither can let go of the fact that Fred died and they see the ghost of Fred in each other. Mistaken Identity posted:Let's play this straight and say this is actually how this curse works and it has been demonstrably sort of effective. Disregarding the fact that by the time Harry Potter starts they must have cycled through the whole pool of potential teachers in all of England (which kind of makes sense since every teacher Harry does get is kind of bottom of the barrel material) then why the gently caress did Voldemort waste such an apparently uncounterable curse (because no way Dumbledore would have let that run its course out of gross negligence, right? ...right....) on a petty reason like cursing the Defense against the Dark Arts position instead of, say, the HEADMASTER position? I imagine Voldemort thinks to himself that he'll be Hogwarts's headmaster one day so he wouldn't want to curse the headmaster position and shoot himself in the foot. Though thinking about it, shooting himself in the foot because he's stupid as gently caress is Voldemort's MO so it's surprising he didn't try that. Dumbledore has demonstrated his gross negligence of his student's safety and well-care multiple times, so it's no surprise he's done jackshit about the curse.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:06
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Did Rowling ever explain what was going on with ghosts? Because that whole situation sure seemed hosed up.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:10
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muscles like this! posted:Did Rowling ever explain what was going on with ghosts? Because that whole situation sure seemed hosed up. Existential horror as comedic relief.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:13
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I think Pottermore has a bunch of Hogwarts ghost backstory that completely destroys any whimsey they may have once possessed.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:14
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Harry eventually becoming DADA teacher is one of those things that would have made more sense than what we got, like Dumbledore being in Slytherin.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:20
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Doctor Spaceman posted:Harry eventually becoming DADA teacher is one of those things that would have made more sense than what we got, like Dumbledore being in Slytherin. I know, right? Harry seemed to enjoy actually teaching the other students how to defend themselves in OotP. Not to mention that finding out that the guy who told him he'd be great as an Auror was a Death Eater in disguise would have been completely tainted that for him. Becoming the DADA teacher would have been the logical endpoint for him. Also, what's this about Dumbledore being in Slytherin? I remember there being a bit in the first book where someone mentioned Dumbledore used to be a Gryffindor.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:27
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amigolupus posted:Also, what's this about Dumbledore being in Slytherin? I remember there being a bit in the first book where someone mentioned Dumbledore used to be a Gryffindor.
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Dec 17, 2020 14:35
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What are you talking about? Dumbledore is intelligent, ambitious, manipulative, and has a total disregard for the lives and well-being of those around him. Dumbledore being a Slytherin is probably the only thing Rowling has said post books that makes sense.
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Dec 17, 2020 15:06
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They're saying it would have made sense but word of author is that Dumbledore was in hero house, sorry no take-backsies.
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Dec 17, 2020 15:34
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My b
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Dec 17, 2020 16:07
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I've said before that Voldemort being ludicrously petty and spiteful is literally his entire characterisation To be fair someone's only trait being petty as gently caress reminds me of a whole lot of certain real world figures Like JK herself nowadays
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Dec 17, 2020 16:16
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amigolupus posted:I know, right? Harry seemed to enjoy actually teaching the other students how to defend themselves in OotP. Not to mention that finding out that the guy who told him he'd be great as an Auror was a Death Eater in disguise would have been completely tainted that for him. Becoming the DADA teacher would have been the logical endpoint for him. Not to mention that he’d been shat on by the Ministry (AKA his future employer) oh so many times in the last couple years of school. He saw just how many of them were basically the equivalent of closet fascists when Voldemort took over the Ministry in the final book. The more I think on it, the less and less sense it makes for Harry to have gone through all of that and still become a wizard cop.
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Dec 17, 2020 17:20
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Also the International Statute of Secrecy is a large part of the reason his childhood was so miserable and probably a big part of the reason Voldemort was able to rise to power twice because the Ministry of Magic seems to spend more time in the books covering up the terrorist attacks than actually trying to combat them. Harry and Hermione are def shitlibs who want to work within the system to reform it but can't imagine actual radical change. Although given what I said above I wonder if Harry's time with the Dursley's just cemented that muggle life sucked beans and cool wizard life should definitely be kept separate but equal. Zesty posted:loving yikes dude. poo poo, sorry if I implied anything sexist or creepy here about women tricking men into taking their wealth, I was honestly just making a bad joke about Ron being dumb 
Guy A. Person fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Dec 17, 2020 |
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Dec 17, 2020 17:30
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Who What Now posted:What are you talking about? Dumbledore is intelligent, ambitious, manipulative, and has a total disregard for the lives and well-being of those around him. Dumbledore being a Slytherin is probably the only thing Rowling has said post books that makes sense. Also he was pretty fashy in his youth and was seriously entertaining ideas of him and his proto-Hitler partner leading a grand revolution where wizards came out of hiding and forced muggles into subservience under wizards (for their own good, of course). He didn't even really stop because he realized all that poo poo was loving horrible either, he stopped because his sister was killed in a fight he had with Aberforth and it freaked him out.
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Dec 17, 2020 18:34
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MikeJF posted:Yeah I was under the impression from the books that the Aurors were explicitly only dark-magic-catchers and not just regular law enforcement. When they are first introduced the aurors are supposed to be badass spec ops warriors who hunt down and blast all the nazi wizards. But in the bad books and the new movies they become just the wizard cops. Like, Newt Scamander’s love interest is an auror and they meet bc she’s supposed to drag him to the execution chamber for failing to do proper wand paperwork
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Dec 17, 2020 18:39
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