r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

cumshitter posted:

This is insane. I don't even work at a large company and when our HR person called the coffee supply people to ask how much they were charging they freaked out and thought we were shopping around, so they gave us a free keurig and started sending us cups for no additional charge. Charging your employees for coffee is absolute horse poo poo, you want them to drink coffee and be more productive.

Also that post has got to have like a minimum of $100 worth of rewards on it.

At my last job a dude sent a company site wide email demonstrating, with an extremely back of the envelope calculation, that the company was paying more for an employee making $65k/year to walk to to the cafe on the north side of the site to get the free coffee vs. installing coffee machines in each floor�s break room.

We had the same coffee machines in the break rooms next week.

I mostly think this was because they wanted to back up his calculations based on the average employee making $65k/year (that dude was waaaaaaaay underpaid if that is what he made).

# ? Nov 2, 2021 06:24

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# ? May 24, 2024 08:35

fish and chips and dip: Feb 17, 2010

Hellblazer187 posted:

I'm being accused of "stealing company property" because I brought my own Kuerig cups in instead of buying from the company snack bar. How should I tell my boss to go gently caress herself?

lol this reminds me of the job my wife had when I met her. Her boss was decent for being a tech boss in China, but the boss's father, who invested in the company to get it off the ground was tight as gently caress and was always butting in. Some examples I remeber:

- They got a coffee maker in the office. Coffee isn't huge in China but was kinda popular in Shanghai, and among tech workers. The day after the coffee machine arrived the boss' dad gave strict orders that only customers who were visiting were allowed to drink coffee from the company machine.

- One day the boss's dad came in with a cheap rear end wall clock and told one of the senior engineers to fix it since he didn't want to buy a new one. So this highly paid (by Chinese standards) engineer had to spend like 3 hours fixing this lovely clock so the boss's dad could save the equivalent of 2 usd.

- The company offices were rented, and while not exactly city center the offices were close to the subway, a highway and many bus stops. To save money the dad convinced them to buy office space, to make it cheap they bought offices right at the north-east edge of Shanghai, far away from everything, like you had to take the subway to the end stop, and then take a bus for 45min from there, and the bus only left every half hour during rush hour. In addition, since ceiling height was kinda tall, they had put in an extra floor to get more space. If you were slightly above average height you couldn't stand up straight since the ceiling was now so low. My wife quit on the spot when she saw that bullshit.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 09:55

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA? For refusing to pay for my boyfriend's medical bills after he had an accident in my car?

quote:

I (f32) have been with my boyfriend 'Ramsey M37 for 3 years. His car recently broke down and he can not afford to fix it because he's broke. He's asked to use my Hyundai several times and I let him but only for few times because he tends to drive recklessly, doesn't respect traffic laws and just has so much rage when he's driving.

He asked to borrow my car days ago to attend an event and I refused to let him take it but I found out he took it anyway and left a small note while I was asleep saying he'd be back before my shift started but he never did. He got involved in an accident and I recieved a call from his friend at the hospital notifying me of what went down. Fortunately no one was hurt but Ramsey had an injured shoulder and a broken finger. I was both worried and upset and had a talk with him afterwards about it. He told me he expected me to pay for his medical bills for 2 reasons and that's 1* he has no money and 2* the accident was caused by my car since it had a broken taillight which he claimed to be the cause of the accident and I should've gotten it fixed so this was a safety hazard (!!. I laughed in response but really was upset and told him I never agreed on him driving my car and that I won't be paying his medical bill because now I'll have to go get my car fixed since it has no insurance. He threw a fit saying I can't leave him to fend for himself in this situation and saw I should pay since I have the money but I refused saying this wasn't my responsibility. We had a huge argument then I was told to step out because I was stressing him out. I waited in the hospital for few more hours and Ramsey called me in again and complained about me not caring about the pain he was experiencing and insisted I pay and we'll talk later but I still said no and that this is his problem to fix since I never gave him permission to drive my "un-drivable" car as he claimed. I ended up going home after that and his friends kept saying I was unsupportive and that my true colors were showing since I'm choosing to focus on punishing Ramsey for taking my car rather than helping him when in need.

They're trying to talk me into paying but I kept saying no.

oh he's a keeper

# ? Nov 2, 2021 10:18

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Mx. posted:

AITA? For refusing to pay for my boyfriend's medical bills after he had an accident in my car?

oh he's a keeper

I stole and wrecked your car. How do you plan to pay for my expenses? I can take venmo.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 10:27

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

While I know what is meant, I can't help but laugh at "Fortunately no one was hurt but Ramsey had an injured shoulder and a broken finger".

# ? Nov 2, 2021 10:46

BadSamaritan: May 2, 2008; crumb by crumb in this big black forest

Mx. posted:

because he tends to drive recklessly, doesn't respect traffic laws and just has so much rage when he's driving

unironically this is enough to sever, especially if it�s bad enough it makes you not want to lend him your car. He�s 37 and should know how to drive like a big boy and not kill someone.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 10:50

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Mx. posted:

AITA? For refusing to pay for my boyfriend's medical bills after he had an accident in my car?

oh he's a keeper

She should also get her own friends because wtf at �he basically stole your car, then crashed it, now is trying to blame you for his own bad driving - but hey you have money so you should pay his medical bills�

# ? Nov 2, 2021 11:15

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Cobalt-60 posted:

Either the boss cannot stand Being Wrong,or there might be accounting "irregularities" she's worried about. Or it's the return of Guacamole Bob.

What is Guacamole Bob?

# ? Nov 2, 2021 11:59

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

First hit on google:
https://www.askamanager.org/2017/09/update-my-companys-accountant-is-nitpicking-my-pretty-frugal-travel-expenses.html

quote:

update: my company�s accountant is nitpicking my pretty frugal travel expenses
by Alison Green on September 21, 2017

Remember the letter last month from the person whose company accountant was nitpicking his travel expenses in the most ridiculous way? If you didn�t read the comments, you missed this insane detail from the letter writer: �Actual comment at the last checkin with Bob, regarding a ~$12 tab at Chipotle: �Ordering extra guacamole is wasteful of member dues.'�

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:06

canepazzo: May 29, 2006

I will never jeopardize the guacamole.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:20

Olewithmilk: Jun 30, 2006; What?

There's something about corporate cheapness that really winds me up, just the mix of idiot bureaucracy, general stupidity, and pig-headed refusal to actually think about what you're asking of employees.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:28

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I am pleased that the employee gained free extra guac at all work lunches out of the whole ordeal. That's worth almost as much as a dental plan.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:31

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Mx. posted:

AITA? For refusing to pay for my boyfriend's medical bills after he had an accident in my car?

oh he's a keeper

ESH

Boyfriend is obviously the bigger rear end in a top hat but don�t date road ragers and especially don�t lend them your (uninsured!) car.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:37

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Brawnfire posted:

[...]dental plan.

Lisa needs guac!

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:42

caterpillaropera: Aug 31, 2004; Who's gonna teach you to bump and grind?; Buglord

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

ESH

Boyfriend is obviously the bigger rear end in a top hat but don�t date road ragers and especially don�t lend them your (uninsured!) car.

Sounds like OP didn't this time:

quote:

He asked to borrow my car days ago to attend an event and I refused to let him take it but I found out he took it anyway and left a small note while I was asleep saying he'd be back before my shift started but he never did.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 12:51

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Yeah but they lent it to him on previous occasions per the earlier text, which is still hosed.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 13:03

Bonster: Mar 3, 2007; Keep rolling, rolling

Mx. posted:

AITA? For refusing to pay for my boyfriend's medical bills after he had an accident in my car?

oh he's a keeper

So he was admitted to the hospital and given a bed for for multiple hours for an injured shoulder and broken finger? He has no insurance, no mention of head trauma or other reason to detain for observation - unless that shoulder's insides are on the outside, or they need emergency surgery to save his arm, not likely, and it seems like that's the kind of thing she might have mentioned. If it was outpatient, and he was sitting in an exam room/cubicle for hours upon hours in the ER (could happen), why is she allowed to come and go multiple times into what is a very high risk COVID space, especially after being asked to leave once already? ER nurses don't have time for that poo poo.

If I give it the benefit of the (huge) doubt, she's hosed if she doesn't report the car stolen, and might be hosed even if she does. She has no insurance, which means she's paying out of pocket for her car, and the insurance company of the car her BF hit is probably going to come after her for at least some of the costs of the car he hit, and any injuries that may develop as a result of the accident.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 13:10

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

ESH

Boyfriend is obviously the bigger rear end in a top hat but don’t date road ragers and especially don’t lend them your (uninsured!) car.

Goons for real have the most stupid takes

# ? Nov 2, 2021 13:21

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

cumshitter posted:

This is insane. I don't even work at a large company and when our HR person called the coffee supply people to ask how much they were charging they freaked out and thought we were shopping around, so they gave us a free keurig and started sending us cups for no additional charge. Charging your employees for coffee is absolute horse poo poo, you want them to drink coffee and be more productive.

I work in tech. The one place I worked for that stopped giving us free coffee, stopped giving us paychecks on time a few weeks later, and then stopped giving us paychecks at all.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 13:26

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

Olewithmilk posted:

There's something about corporate cheapness that really winds me up, just the mix of idiot bureaucracy, general stupidity, and pig-headed refusal to actually think about what you're asking of employees.

I really wish I could remember where I read or heard this as trying to retell it is tripping my own bullshit detectors to the point I question if I should even post, but supposedly this is (or was) a pretty well known difference in business culture between European and American organisations.

Namely, Americans are much more likely to receive considerably higher compensation than their European counterparts of similar seniority, while having stringent business travel budgets/per diems, while Europeans are more likely to have generous expense and entertainment budgets.

Edit:

feedmegin posted:

I work in tech. The one place I worked for that stopped giving us free coffee, stopped giving us paychecks on time a few weeks later, and then stopped giving us paychecks at all.

I used to work for a moderately well known online gambling operator that was taken over by another company at one point and ended up laying most of the old staff less than a year later. First the vending machines appeared, then the coffee became completely unpalatable over the course of a month or two, but it never was not free. Even after it was known that 90% of the staff would be let go.

a podcast for cats fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Nov 2, 2021

# ? Nov 2, 2021 13:35

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

a podcast for cats posted:

Namely, Americans are much more likely to receive considerably higher compensation than their European counterparts of similar seniority, while having stringent business travel budgets/per diems, while Europeans are more likely to have generous expense and entertainment budgets

This may be true for, like, Sales, for all I know, but a regular European computer toucher doesn't have an expense account or entertainment budget. Office perks like free coffee and snacks etc are probably about the same between the two, depending on the company of course. Though obviously America in general has inferior biscuit game :p

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:01

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

Is it ridiculous for me (19f) to break up with my bf (27m) over a stressful Halloween party?

quote:

This is a long one and I'm on mobile so sorry ahead of time. My bf (27M) and I (19F) have been dating for a little over a year and a half. We have been living together for the past year. I have always been someone who loves to wear costumes. I actually learned how to sew while helping my mom make my Halloween costumes as a kid. As I got older we branched out into making costumes for me to wear to festivals and conventions but Halloween stayed our favorite holiday. My mom passed away two years ago and this year was going to be my first attempt at celebrating Halloween without her.

My bf is the opposite of who I am as a person. He is very introverted and private. He doesn't really like us having people over to our house and he especially isn't the type to dress up for Halloween. He thinks it's childish, a waste of time and money. However, this year, he could tell that I really needed something to celebrate. He said it would be nice if I had a Halloween party with some of my friends as long as I didn't make him dress up. Since he let me know he was okay with a Halloween party several months in advance I was actually able to invest a generous amount of time into putting together a costume as well as planning food, drinks and decor.

I used my own money for the costume and the party. I budgeted carefully to get the most out of my college student sized party fund and ended up DIY-ing most of the decor. I also made sure to run everything by my bf as I went because I knew that as enthusiastic as I am over this holiday he can be irritated by too much of this sort of thing. He signed off on everything I did, often with a fair amount of praise and enthusiasm, until the week leading up to the party.

The first problem he had was with my costume. I went as Persephone. My costume was based off of the painting Proserpine by Dante Gabrielle Rosetti. My boyfriend didn't like the drape of the dress I made. He told me that even though he had said he liked it earlier in the month when I finished it he actually thought it looked ill fitting on me. He said he felt the need to tell me this because he was worried about me feeling out of place next to my friends who would be wearing more traditional costumes. No matter the reason, his last minute disapproval hurt. Even more hurtful was his annoyance when I wouldn't immediately agree to go buy an entirely new costume.

Another issue with my costume was how he treated the headpiece I made. I based it off of the star crown Hedy Lamarr wore in the movie "Ziegfeld Girl." It was my first try making anything like it so while the finished crown was wearable and looked great (imo) it was fragile to the touch. I spent the day before the party finishing it and I told my bf how delicate it was when showing it to him for the first time. Immediately, he strummed his finger across several of the wire arches supporting the headpiece's stars which sent two of the stars flying. I was instantly in tears which I understand in hindsight wasn't a reaction proportional to how easy it ended up being to fix the stars. That night we got into a big fight over my inability to "take a joke." I understand that I shouldn't have freaked out right away but I'm still upset that he risked seriously damaging something I'd spent all day working on for a laugh.

The day of the party was a struggle. My bf had agreed to run several errands, like getting ice, while I put the finishing touches on cleaning, cooking and decorating before getting my costume on. Instead he holed up in our bedroom playing video games and essentially told me it was my party and my problem. The few times I actually caught a glimpse of him during the day he was extremely cold towards me.

The final straw came during the 20 minutes before guests arrived. He came out of the bedroom and walked around the house to see the party's setup for the first time. He made snarky comments the whole time about how silly or tacky the things I made looked. He asked if the final product was really worth all of the time and resources I had invested. Until then I was extremely proud of the way things had turned out. I thought he would be proud too considering he'd approved of all of the pieces of decor separately as I'd finished them during the previous months. He ended his critique by saying guests would be weirded out that I had put flowers and a glass of mulled wine next to my mom's urn and picture of her that I keep on the mantle.

I started crying after this and told him to stay in the bedroom or find somewhere else to be for the party if he was going to make fun of me the whole night. He told me that he was angry and embarrassed that I hadn't listened to him about changing my costume. He said he was embarrassed that I had put so much time into decorating and dressing up for a children's holiday. He called me childish and some other unkind things. He ended up leaving for a friend's house and I didn't see him until the next evening.

I had a great time with my friends at the party without my bf and I'm so glad I didn't give up on a night that I'd put so much work into. I feel as though in spite of everything I reclaimed a holiday I used to love. In fact, not having my bf there to judge me felt like a weight off of my shoulders. The day afterwards I found myself relishing my time alone even though all I was doing was cleaning up after the party.

This has made me seriously question my relationship and consider moving in with my big sister during the upcoming holiday break. I tried to discuss my feelings with my bf when he returned but although he was full of apologies when he first arrived he quickly descended into calling me petty and demanding. He accused me of not having the maturity to put proper work into an adult relationship. I feel like he's right but I also don't think I have the energy to try and fix things. However, I'm worried my sister is going to think I'm an idiot when she finds out why I want to move in with her. Am I making a huge mistake considering breaking up a long term relationship over this?

TL;DR - Is it ridiculous that I want to break up with my bf for being unkind over my Halloween costume and party decor as well as sabotaging parts of the party preps knowing how much time I'd put into planning this party and why it means so much to me?

The fact that the boyfriend was deliberately trying to undermine this woman and ruin her night and she's too inexperienced to tell feels like a pretty good example of why this kind of age gap is hosed up. Also lol at his, "oh, wow, hon, your friends are totally gonna think [my actual thoughts]" act.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:08

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for lettingmy child climb on a rock?

quote:

Hi, I'm a 34 year old woman and my 3 children are a 12 year old boy, a 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. My husband is a 35 year old man.

A couple weeks ago we went on a trip to visit some historical sites in several countries in Europe (basically like a roadtrip). My husband had a terrible headache on the fourth day of our trip so he stayed at the hotel while our children and I went to a dolmen. When we got there my children were a bit bored so I let them run around and play for a bit (there weren't a lot of people so they were not bothering anyone) and than my 9 year old climbed on one of the boulders of the dolmen. He looked so proud of himself when he managed to climb up so I wanted to take a photo of him but than a girl (around 19 I'd say) walked up to me and sarcastically asked "do you let your kids climb on their grandparent's graves like that too?". Needless to say, I got a bit angry and told her to mind her own bussiness and said that a 5000 year old dead guy won't mind it if a child climbs on a rock. Her face looked like I just killed a puppy in front of her and she walked away.

When we got back to the hotel I told my husband about it and he said that it's a bit tasteless to let someone climb on what's "essentially a gravestone". I got mad because he wouldn't support me and undermined me in front the children like that. I went to the bathroom where I called my sister to tell her what happend. She said that the girl shouldn't have approached me like that but that I was also wrong for the way I responded to her. I told her that the girl was out of line talking to someone that's older then her like that and I hung up.

It's been a couple weeks now and it just hasn't been sitting right with me. I've been thinking that maybe I am the rear end in a top hat and I guess I can see why someone would see a dolmen as a grave.

So, am I the rear end in a top hat for letting my child climb on a rock?

Do you want demon possession in your kid? Cause this is how you get demon possession in your kid.

Good news, demon possession might make you parent.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:09

Slimy Hog: Apr 22, 2008

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

ESH

Boyfriend is obviously the bigger rear end in a top hat but don’t date road ragers and especially don’t lend them your (uninsured!) car.

So somehow it's HER fault he's an rear end in a top hat? Or is it her fault that he sucks at driving? Or is it her fault he sole her car?

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:12

His Divine Shadow: Aug 7, 2000; I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

Hellblazer187 posted:

I'm being accused of "stealing company property" because I brought my own Kuerig cups in instead of buying from the company snack bar. How should I tell my boss to go gently caress herself?

I mean, they're all assholes for using Keurigs.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:19

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for lettingmy child climb on a rock?

I got mad because he wouldn't support me and undermined me in front the children like that.

I told her that the girl was out of line talking to someone that's older then her like that and I hung up.

So, first - the people who are "it doesn't matter if I'm wrong, only that no one can say I'm wrong" can just gently caress right off.

Second, anyone who decides that they can act like poo poo and no one is allowed to call out for it just because they're older can just gently caress right off.

Also, don't let your kids mess about on historical, neolithic monuments you gigantic self-centred piece of poo poo. Why is this something you need to be told?

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:21

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

Is she from some east Asian culture where you must always defer to your elders out of etiquette (even if they're just like a day older than you?).

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:24

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

keep punching joe posted:

Is she from some east Asian culture where you must always defer to your elders out of etiquette (even if they're just like a day older than you?).

American middle aged folk have been pushing this idea for a long while, they love trying to use this argument now that the boomers are the last large old demographic

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:41

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

keep punching joe posted:

Is she from some east Asian culture where you must always defer to your elders out of etiquette (even if they're just like a day older than you?).

I mean plenty of white boomers and chuds of all ages have a hardon for "you must respect your elders" as well.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:48

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

Soylent Pudding posted:

I mean plenty of white boomers and chuds of all ages have a hardon for "you must respect your elders" as well.

All useless old assholes love this one secret trick to get free 'respect'.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:50

Zurtilik: Oct 23, 2015; The Biggest Brain in Guardia

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [21 F] I don't know what's going on.

quote:

Hi Reddit. Excuse my awful formatting. Lately I've been having some issues with my behavior, and I just need to vent.

My fiance we'll call her Monique and I have been together for two years now. We met working at the same office job. I had already been working there for a year when a group of new people were given a tour of the office, and there she was. She was stunning and I of course had to talk this girl. This unfortunately didn't happen since I lack all basic social skills. I don't know for sure what my problem is however all of my direct family has either been diagnosed as bipolar or with anxiety issues. Anyways fast forward about a year or so and one of my office friends tells me that she's been working double shift and has been working with Monique during the morning (I worked afternoons), and that Monique had let her know she was interested in me. At first I couldn't believe it and thought it was some cruel joke but soon noticed that whenever our schedules aligned she would look at me a lot or try to make small talk. I ended up growing a backbone and asking her out on a date to a local sushi karaoke bar and even though I ended up spilling both a tray of sushi on her and getting booed off stage for my drunken interpretation of Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer she ended up telling me she had a really good time. Since then we have been inseparable.

She's the first girl I didn't kiss on the first date mostly because I wanted to do things "right." I've become a more patient person since being with her. I'm no longer a fighter and avoid conflict. I stopped partying which was huge since most local bartenders knew me by name from how frequent I was in the clubs or out drinking. I picked up new hobbies. I traded drinking and weed for card games and movie nights with her and honestly I was happy for the most part.

The problem is that this lasted about six months and then she ended up cheating on me. Bummer, definitely a deal breaker I know, but I didn't have proof so I went along with the whole charade for several more months. Everyday I would confront her hoping she'd come clean but alas she didn't fess up and lied to my face daily for months. I didn't break up with her for at first because of lack of evidence and balls, but she eventually owned up to it when I told her that her dishonesty was going to be the end of our relationship. I decided to give her another chance for coming clean. She did everything perfect from that point on. I had access to all her social media and phone but rarely checked them. She always ran all my errands and took care of my responsibilities.

This of course wasn't enough. The thoughts of knowing what she did came back to haunt me at all times. I ended up hating her. Even after months had passed she disgusted me. A few months of this and I decided enough was enough. I had her pick me up from a bar and asked her to take me home. I told her we needed to talk on our way home. I was going to tell her that I no longer loved her and just as the words started leaving my mouth "I don't love y..." I suddenly started having a massive pain. It was awful and I was rushed to a hospital where I was operated for hernia complications. I ended up getting an infection and I suddenly become extremely ill and was bedridden for three months going in and out of surgeries. (There were two other surgeries during that time I was not having the best of luck :/ )

All that time she was there. Day and night always by my side. She'd maybe take an hour a day to eat and shower just to be by my side and that's when I realized that this person was honestly sorry for what she had done and would do anything for me.

We ended up having the best months of our life since then and I even ended up proposing because I love this girl and can see myself with her in the future despite our past (God knows I'm no saint). I took her to the nicest hotel I could find next to the beach for a weekend. On our last day there I took her out for a walk along the coast and we started throwing all sorts of stones and shells into the ocean. Little did she know that under one of those shells was an engagement ring I had stealthily placed. As soon as she saw the ring she cried and I was too nervous to even properly propose to her but I was able to squeeze the words "Will you marry me," out of my mouth. She said yes and that brings us to now.

I don't know what my issue is but I'm not as interested in her as of the last two weeks or so. It's not just her I don't care what goes on in my job, I have zero friends right now. I don't talk to my old friends nor have any want to do so. I just keep to myself for the most part. When I see her I see my best friend and I do care about her but I just don't feel that 100% that used to be there, if anything I'd say it's more of a 90% type deal now. I know a lot of people lose interest after an infidelity at least to some extent but I've lost interest in everything in general.

I've had periods like this in my past and I'm dreading the idea of not caring about anything again. This attitude is also starting to reflect into my relationship as she's noticed my change in my personality.

I don't even know why I'm still typing or what exactly I need from the Reddit community. I guess I just need some insight as to what I'm feeling or to see if anyone can relate. I'm not sad, angry, lonely, happy, I'm just on autopilot.

tl;dr: I'm mostly just ranting about nonsense/can anyone relate?

# ? Nov 2, 2021 14:58

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

deety posted:

Is it ridiculous for me (19f) to break up with my bf (27m) over a stressful Halloween party?

The phrasing here really stuck out to me

quote:

I spent the day before the party finishing it and I told my bf how delicate it was when showing it to him for the first time. Immediately, he strummed his finger across several of the wire arches supporting the headpiece's stars which sent two of the stars flying. I was instantly in tears which I understand in hindsight wasn't a reaction proportional to how easy it ended up being to fix the stars.

Your reaction isn't proportional to how hard or easy it is to fix, it's proportional to realizing how little your boyfriend respects you, if upon being told "this is fragile" he immediately has to gently caress with it. :sever:

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:00

Hobnob: Feb 23, 2006; Ursa Adorandum

deety posted:

Is it ridiculous for me (19f) to break up with my bf (27m) over a stressful Halloween party?

Yo girl, time to recreate Proserpine Emerging From the Underworld that is your relationship with this lovely man.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:02

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

I had a job years back where the owners got us a keurig and put out a little cup to collect coffee money. No set price, just to contribute for coffee pods. This was a place that way perhaps technically a small family business but was also bringing in serious money. Like, the owners had a Filipina immigrant nanny for their kids, pretty sure through the temporary foreign workers program, until they got in trouble for never giving her a day off, so when she managed to quit, they replaced her with two new Filipina immigrants and then bought a house for them to live in so that they didn't have to have them around when they weren't working.

I only drink decaf for health reasons so I bought my own pods and never contributed to the coffee fund, but it did not escape my notice that the money in the jar would empty and it absolutely did not line up with the price of the replacement coffee that occasionally showed up. Eventually turned out that the keurig was a commercial-grade machine that was rented from a local company and my bosses just decided to stop paying the rent for it and keep the machine. They were very indignant when it got repossessed, but I'm not sure what they expected to happen.

This is in line with the time they made a big deal about a new extended health care plan they were offering, and then cancelled the coverage a few months later without telling anyone because "nobody uses it." They did not seem to understand why I was upset about the surprise $75 bill when I went in to get my monthly prescriptions and my coverage was gone.

Buckets of money, but allergic to spending any of it on anything but themselves. Would book you for fifty hours a week and then wave off your concerns with "oh we don't pay overtime here" as though that were a reasonable or legal policy to have. I would just refuse to be booked for six days a week, and it pissed them off so much.

I worked there way longer than I should have.

The coffee was only a symptom.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:14

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

deety posted:

Is it ridiculous for me (19f) to break up with my bf (27m) over a stressful Halloween party?

He accused me of not having the maturity to put proper work into an adult relationship.

"You're just too immature", I scream at my literal teenaged girlfriend

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:15

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Fruits of the sea posted:

This... isn't actually a thing, is it?

Do you mean hoteps in general? Because yes, it is.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:19

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

why doesn't the legally-not-a-child i'm choosing to date just mature into a young adult woman already, god how disrespectful to me

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:19

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

spouse posted:

What the heck did the kid do last year if carpet poo poo for a week results in a split judgement on trick or treating?

...avoid catching COVID, probably? Lockdowns don't go well with trick-or-treat you know.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:29

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for helping my Brother runaway from his wedding?

quote:

I have 2 older brothers, this is about the middle one. Our parents divorced when I was very young due to our Mother�s insane jealousy. At first my Dad was able to handle it but when she started making comments about me wanting to be like his wife he had enough. She quickly rebounded with a guy with 2 kids and had shared custody for a while. But when my Dad got remarried she went crazy, calling his new wife every horrible name and claiming he was cheating on her while they were married. I was always closer to my brothers and Dad than my Mom because she was always very mean to me. Long story short, my Stepmom died in a bad car accident and my Dad called her in the middle of the night letting her know he would pick us up earlier so we could attend the funeral and she decided to take us on a fun trip to �celebrate� something. It was the happiest we've ever seen her and when we realized what happened and started crying she told us only worthless people cry for wh***s.

Needless to say, things went nuclear and my Dad asked for full custody with visitation for her. He always left the line of communication open and paid for us to visit her when she moved away but it was still very bad and as soon as we turned 18 we started to lower contact with her. Last time we saw her was on my HS graduation where she made a point of letting everyone who would hear we were ungrateful kids and her HB would call us bad names too, been NC since then.

My brother Sam started dating his Ex 3 years ago, she has heard all the stories and the reasons we are NC but she believes we are just dramatic. They had many issues due to her opinions but she eventually seemed to drop the �you need to reconcile with your Mother� crusade. During the wedding planning there was no indication of things going wrong or fishy, then we got to the church and lo and behold Mom, HB and 2 kids were sitting at front. I immediately panicked and called my brothers. Sam thought maybe somehow she found out and wanted to crash so he called his Ex to let her know of the potential drama but she told him it was fine since she invited them, Sam hung up and asked me to go get him while oldest brother dealt with things at the church. We went home and barricaded ourselves there even when his Ex, her family, friends, etc came to try and "make sense with him". Mom�s HB even called and said he always knew we were worthless. Now that the dust has settled most of Sam's friends are on his side and so is most of our family (Dad's).

Ex's parents already threatened to sue for the money they paid if he doesn't marry her but Sam says he rathers pay them back for their contribution than marry someone that betrayed him. My nuclear family 100% supports Sam but the backlash has been huge.

Edit: You guys just reassured us all, thank you.

Some have commented about it but no, she has not apologized, she even went so far as to text my oldest brother "Joe" that she thought it would be a good wedding present from my brother to her since she values family. My Dad bought them a house as a wedding present but only Sam is on the deed, she did have keys for when they moved there but they just had the locks changed today and Joe and some cousins are taking everything Sam owns from her flat during this week. We aren't worried about being sued but will consult a lawyer just in case.

We also heard Mom and her family are still in town but since we are all staying at our childhood home for a few days we don't care. My Dad is sad that Sam is heartbroken but is trying to cheer him up along with my boyfriend and my SIL. I had to delete/deactivate my SM because I kept getting nasty comments and messages but the more people learn the reason Sam runaway, the less it gets. I am still sorry she felt humiliated, but my brother comes first.

Edit 2:

We are 34, 32, and 28. ExSIL is 30. Not in the US.

I asked Joe about the church aftermath and it was just as I expected it. He says he stood up in front of everybody and told them Sam was not coming and to please go home and all their gifts delivered to our side of the family will be given back asap. The Ex was still outside the church when someone in her family informed her and she started screaming and crying and calling Sam nonstop. Mom tried to talk to joe that didn�t even look at her and when she couldn�t get a reaction out of him she started crying loudly and lamenting how horrible we are to her and some people started consoling her, this is her m.o. but Joe and his wife didn�t care. When they went out of the church the Ex was expecting them and demanding to see Sam but Joe said no, then she demanded to know what to do with the party and he said if she didn�t want the venue he would arrange for the food to be donated to the staff there so it wouldn�t go to waste. Everybody was screaming except Joe because he didn�t want to give Mom the satisfaction.

They (Joe+SIL) came home after stopping at the supermarket and some fast food joints and we have been inside like we are kids again, plus 2 more members. We asked Sam if he wanted them to go but he said he wanted them there. We had all taken time off to spend family time after the wedding anyway so it�s not a problem at the moment. When the Ex came to the gate we knew she was not going to use the venue so my SIL called them with Sam�s info, told them to take the food, and also sent them some tips for their trouble. It seems we will get back all the alcohol, that my Dad paid for, so we will have a very drunk end of the year.

A couple of people messaged me asking why did our Dad ever marry our Mom and the answer is he really loved her and believed she was the nicest person ever. Turns out she wasn�t but she knew nobody, except I guess her nasty husband, would marry her unless she pretended to be nice. He considered staying with her until we were adults but she kept getting worse, she used to get very nice and he thought she was changing and then she would change again. As per my ExSIL, we have no doubt that she believes Mom is a nice person that has ungrateful children because she is extremely charming and for some people is funny to make fun of others as long as it�s not directed at them but it still doesn�t excuse Ex.

The only person Sam gave an explanation was his boss who was at the church but he is very understanding and was pretty shocked of what Mom put us through since we are fairly adjusted happy people. Our Dad said that it was a shock for all of us and we can stay home as long as we need, Sam is moving home for the time being. I showed my family the post and they are moved by your niceness but Sam wants you all to KNOW Ex wasn�t showing any concerning behaviors and he truly believed she understood his upbringing.

He agreed to talk to her and her parents today but only if it�s at our home and we are there to support him so it�s going to be an interesting visit.

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:31

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# ? May 24, 2024 08:35

SalTheBard: Jan 26, 2005; I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!; Fallen Rib

Dewgy posted:

Was there ever an update from that lady on Twitter who thought she was a kidnapped baby?

kimbo305 posted:

2 weeks ago, I commented on that post asking if she'd had any updates. Silence.

https://imgur.com/user/insnowboardingwetrust/comments

Doesn't look like they have updated anything (sorry I know these are old posts)

# ? Nov 2, 2021 15:32

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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