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Directed by: Gregory 'Mars' Martin Starring: Chazz Palminteri, Rick Schroder, Gregory Martin, Christopher Walken There's absolutely nothing worse than manufactured coolness. Whether it's your elderly grandparents reciting buzzwords from popular beer commercials, or dumbass college kids adding "izzay" to the end of everyday words, coolness is a concept most people don't have a firm grasp of. Poolhall Junkies is that rear end in a top hat who apes more popular people, rips off their fashion sense and jokes but still can't get invited to parties. It's like that greasy, pimply loser with slick hair that quotes Swingers but doesn't realize that it's lame and played out. Poolhall Junkies is a whole lot of machismo and people saying 'gently caress' and 'friend of the family' because cool people swear for no reason. I am, on the other hand, of the mindset that you should only swear when it's of absolute loving significance. "Director" and "actor" Gregory 'Mars' 'Fuckhead' Martin is a pool hustler that breaks from his deceitful mentor Joe (that guy from the Vanilla Coke commercials) and tries to live a straight life. The real world doesn't work out so well for Mars, and soon Joe is back on the scene with a new protege. Eventually it's up to Mars to play the new kid on the block, sink improbable shots and save the day by squaring up a debt. You'd think that playing pool is just about the coolest loving thing in the world watching this movie. You've got lots of high-rolling slicksters, urban hustlers and street smart preps inhabiting these halls. The hustlers are all 120 pound compsci majors talking and acting like somebody opened up a hatch and pumped them full of testosterone. They're stand-offish and self-absorbed--but not the least bit convincing. The script is like a grade four creative writing assignment--full of ninjas and robots and Pokemons and giant pandas and absolutely no cohesion. I can picture some shut-in writer chewing on a pencil and flicking around wads of paper for hours before the lightbulb went off in his head for much of the dialogue. He typed it up and said, "that's pretty cool, I'll add that!" and repeated the process about a hundred times. Then he filled the gaps with fucks and made sure Christopher Walken was in the cast so nobody had the balls to complain. Neo-Tarantino asswipes strike again with another terrible movie worthy of nothing more than disregard. Poolhall Junkies is great if you want to watch petty, unlikable assholes try to outcool one another. RATING: 1 PROS: Some of the pool shots were sort of neat CONS: Forces coolness so hard that it pisses blood ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0273982/
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Jun 8, 2004 23:32
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 06:36 |
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I liked this movie, I wouldn't go out and buy it, but it is worth the rent. It has some great scenes, great quotes, and just some awesome shots. Pros: Great one liners, great little stories of "I was watching this movie and this guy did this..." to tell to your friends Cons: You know the ending before it happens, the brothers look way to much alike.
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Jun 9, 2004 05:26
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Poolhall Junkies is a predictable movie, but entertaining at the same time. Christopher Walken kept this film fresh feeling and added to the "coolness". It has a touch of humor and awesome dialogue. It did what it was supposed to do, just to be an entertaining made for HBO movie. Poolhall Junkies wasn't supposed to win any awards. Pro: Well directed for a first timer, entertaining, nice cameo by St. Louie Louis aka Mike Messey, Ricky Schroder. Con: "amatuer" feel, predictable.
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Jun 13, 2004 11:45
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I enjoyed it to an extent, but it really does try too hard to be cool. Some of the characters didn't do it for me at all - namely Mars' friends. Pros: Walken's "Lion" speech to Mars in the bathroom; some incredible pool shots Cons: A lot of the writing, some of the acting, trying too hard
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Jun 14, 2004 16:26
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I liked the movie, of course it was a B movie but who the gently caress cares. Walken was great albeit he wasn't in it very much, the acting was tolerable most of the time, and yes the story was predictable, all B movie characteristics. But did you really watch it for any of that? Personally I just wanted to see some good pool action in a movie, and that's what I got out of it. Plus the lion speech, god I love the lion speech.
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Apr 1, 2005 19:14
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 06:36 |
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I can't even believe how much I hated the main character in this movie. He is a worthless scumbag and his little tricks ("You got your shoes on your feet!" HAHA!) just made me want to kill the motherfucker. And I almost jumped into my TV and killed him when he showed off his Hustler shirt. Walken is okay but its not worth sitting through the rest of this movie just to see him act cool. I used to like pool before I saw this movie.
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Apr 1, 2005 20:50
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