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Directed by: Cynthia Roberts Starring: Nina Hartley, nobodies Most people speak of bad movies as if it sitting through them is a Herculean task of durability. "I sat through Manos," they might say, "the non MST3K version." Well if bad movies really are a measure of endurance, Bubbles Galore is the loving Iditarod. Bubbles Galore is pretty obscure. It also happens to be one of the most controversial movies in Canadian history, and that controversy is infinitely more interesting than the movie itself. Basically, this dipshit Cynthia Roberts had a brilliant idea to make a movie subverting the norms of the porn industry by letting a woman call the shots--sort of like Putney Swope with more tits. To bankroll the film, Roberts obtained $125,000 from a federal film agency. So what's the problem? This film is not like Boogie Nights--it is quite simply a loving porno movie with a lame-rear end plot stapled on. There are frequent shots of male frontal nudity, hardcore sex, hardcore lesbian sex, rape and abuse of women. There's also a scene where a thug gets swung around in the air by his dick. Your government's tax dollars at work. The plot revolves around Nina Hartley, who plays a porn superstar ready to go into business for herself. This arouses the anger of a slimy porn king who vows to sabotage her project and, for god knows what reason, has his dick hanging out in every loving scene. We also meet Buck, a John Holmes-like washup who gets his massive prosthetic wrestled with in a bunch of scenes, and Vivian, Nina's lesbian secretary who secretly loves her and takes the brunt of the rape and abuse. I got to thinking about this movie after watching Boogie Nights and seeing Jack talking about wanting to make porno, to paraphrase, "that people would watch after they came." Bubbles Galore comes off like Jack's realized vision, except that the good parts--the ones involving sex--are about as arousing as a tour of a meat packing plant. It looks like it was filmed on a camcorder and the acting is worse than trenchfoot. It is without a doubt the worst thing ever committed to film, and this is coming from a guy who used to watch America's Funniest People religiously. RATING: 0 PROS: Almost got that bitch Sheila Copps fired CONS: Sets the human race back about two thousand years ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115771/ NADZILLA fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Feb 24, 2005 |
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Feb 24, 2005 20:31
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 12:57 |
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quote:NADZILLA came out of the closet to say: Hmm.
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Feb 24, 2005 20:37
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