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Directed by: Tsui Hark Starring: Donnie Yen, Leon Lai, Charlie Yeung Know the name Tsui Hark? He's a famous producer and director in Hong Kong, and was responsible for forum favourites like Once Upon a Time in China and The Killer. This year, Hark unleashed his opus Seven Swords on unsuspecting film festivals around the globe, including the Film From South festival in Oslo, where I'm currently living. I asked my Chinese teacher about the film after the festival was over, but she only laughed and said "美国文体" (American style). Chinese films have faced increasing competition on the international market, and compromises are necessary to find audiences in America and Europe. Exactly how far directors are willing to go is a question of integrity and taste, both of which Hark does not seem to possess. Aside from borrowing its concept from a staple of East Asian cinema, Seven Swords is an anime schlock-fest that has more in common with series like Naruto or movies like Ninja Scroll than the current crop of wuxia movies. It's sometime in the 1600s and the Emperor of China has issued a decree demanding the head of every martial artist in the land to prevent uprisings. Seeing their chance of riches and glory, warlords and generals go on a purge across the land to slaughter martial arts practicioners and innocents alike. As the film opens, we see one such profiteer, The Hell Eunuch and his cadre of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles refugees.  The TMNT refugees and said eunuch cut swathes through the hapless martial artists, but as they're wrapping up a good day's work of anime lookalike fighting, some old guy who backflips a lot steals the tags they need to get paid by the Emperor. As it turns out, Hell Eunuch answers to a guy who is even more evil, General Firewind, who we'll just call Hell General from now on. We first see Hell General eating some greasy roast chicken in front of starving concubines to show how evil he is. He then takes a liking to one of the concubines (future plot device Korean Princess) and decides to show his affection by first waving his menacing prop sword around, which, inexplicably, has six rings attached to its hilt. I suppose this is to make it look more badass, but it just looks really loving dumb. Smash cut to his inner sanctum, where Hell General's rage has just taken a turn for the worse!  Apparently his only way of dealing with his huge anger management problems is sitting astride the back of Korean Princess, letting out a roar and then start biting her while she's ravenously devouring chicken. This scene's incredible lameness cannot be explained by mere words, it has to be experienced several times in its tasteless glory for its full effect to take place.  The second plotline begins with a villager, Klutzy Bitch, being rescued by Backflipping Old Guy when she's assaulted inexplicably by a TMNT refugee in a river. Klutzy Bitch is uglier than Korean Princess and the third female character, which is an instant clue to the fact that she'll redeem her lack of beauty in some other way, probably involving bashing some guy in the skull with a frying pan towards the end of the film. Actually, the real answer is much more stupid, but we'll get to that later. Backflipping Old Guy gets wounded in the fight, taken to Klutzy Bitch's home village "Martial Village" (yes, seriously), where a terrifying revelation takes place; Backflipping Old Guy was the last dynasty's executioner, and now he's redeeming his actions by backflipping across China and saving the innocents. One of his victims is actually in the village, and demands that Backflipping Old Guy gets punished for his actions. A failed attempt by Klutzy Bitch to get him away leads to a planned execution of both KB and BFOG, which is interrupted by an attack from the forces of Hell General and Hell Eunuch. This is where the movie started to lose me totally. First, the castle of the Hell people and the TMNT refugees seems to be only a short ride away from the village - why wouldn't they attack this first? Then, as the slaughter threatens to claim the lives of children (CHILDREN! OH NOES!  ), five swordsmen come to the deus ex machin... er, I mean rescue, and start bonding scenes with the villagers. What happens next is a poor mish-mash between wuxia and historical drama. Klutzy Bitch turns into expert swordswoman instantly with a super-special sword that she's given for no reason. There is a sequel setup. Characters go back and forth between locations in what seems like ten seconds. The choreography is hackneyed and poorly executed in the "gritty" sets. Synth strings accent the garish props and costumes in what must be one of the worst films China as exported to the world in its modern film history. Seven Swords borrows heavily from anime, but it also seemed to import that genre's lack of coherent plotlines and taste. RATING: 1.5 PROS: Barely competent photography CONS: Terrible art direction, acting, music and choreography ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0429078/ yersi fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Dec 23, 2005 |
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Dec 21, 2005 15:18
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 10:16 |
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It seems that within the past couple of years, that Tsui Hark has completly forgotten how to weave a coherent narrative. Seven Swords is a convoluted mess, a 4 hour-epic cut in half and boy does it show. It has a few nifty ideas and imaginative scenes, but on the whole it fails because Hark can't keep anything consistent for more than 10 minutes. Not only is the story impossible to follow, but the other travesty is that the cheorography looks like it could have been pretty good, but it's lost in all the close-ups and quick cuts that Tsui Hark does, making the fights look sloppy too. A big dissapointment. I agree with the OP. 2/5
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Jan 10, 2006 05:15
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I'm glad I wasn't the only one confused by this movie. I ended up just fast-forwarding to the fight scenes, which were decent. Other than that, it's kind of pretty, but that's about it. 1/5
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Jan 14, 2006 05:45
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