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Resident GBS/ Ask/Tell Attention-dwarf, your time has come. Here is BSG:  Yes, this is the image I would choose were I to write overblown accounts of my life and shill them on the internet. Ladies want my dick, men want to be in my power chair, gather round and listen to some true tales of the baddest bad-rear end to scoot down the block, BSG, the dwarf knight. Dwarf Knight Adventures thread [ASK] Me what it is like to be a dwarf and finally, Student Teachers Want to Bang Me. This last one is now closed. The reason for this is, Mr. Sensitivity, frightened by the first signs of dissent from a normally fawning audience, couldn't handle those doubting the veracity of his sexual escapades, so he scooted off like a little bitch. BSG in a nutshell "Born and raised in freezing Minnesota, this three foot ego reads poetry for the masses. Master of language, this half-man stands on stages dropping pages of poetry to the floor for the encore. 3 First place Poetry Slam awards, and one state invitational make up this budding poet's abilities. Soon, Chicago will be graced with the face of true poetry as BSG breaks out in an attempt to pay for college. Read: Buy my CD." He's three feet of subtlety when it comes to hittin' on broads Somebody didn't get enough attention when they were litt...oh BSG posted:Why have so few of you looked at the videos? He's also got a myspace and here is a link to buy his book, support the bloated ego of a guy who probably does the better part of his living inside his own mind.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:36
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"I might end up grabbing your boob if I start to sink."
"I'd like that."
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I thought this was going to be a callout thread for Battlestar Galactica.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:40
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why does he call himself the dwarf knight thats pretty gay
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Aug 27, 2007 16:41
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what happened to the good old days when dwarves would be abandoned on a hillside to be devoured by wolves? there's no respect for tradition anymore.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:43
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We can be pretty certain he has a tiny penis, so let the penis insults fly.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:49
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And, as seems to be tradition for me, dude thinks he can draw
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Aug 27, 2007 16:51
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having sex with that would be like getting serviced by a stumpy body-louse.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:53
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quote:You should also check out my story thread for some entertainment, and a little more insight into who I am on a personal level. 3 posts down: quote:There's more information on this in my story thread. still on the first page: quote:As I talked about in my other thread, squeak: quote:You should all start posting in my other thread too. It's in dire need of love. I hear this chap has some sort of stories hidden somewhere if someone could direct me there that would be good thanks.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:56
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His voice...it haunts me.
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Aug 27, 2007 16:58
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Consistently Delusional BSG posted:I'm 3 feet tall, and I use a wheelchair. Because of this, I end up pigeonholed with the special education kids that also take nothing but art classes, but for absolutely different reasons. I guess because I'm willing to talk to a majority of them, our teacher seats me with them so they've got some kind of a defense against the rest of the class. He knows me well, so I know it isn't some kind of misunderstanding of my abilities. The problem is that it's difficult to hit on a 20 year old college student in front of 4 mentally challenged boys with boners. There is no other possible explanation, i'm sure
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Aug 27, 2007 17:01
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Yay, nothing I love better than people who make up overly elaborate stories in which they are larger than life nerd-heroes so they can get attention and make up for their own insecurities. Though oddly enough, I've known plenty of bullshitters whose lives were fine and didn't need to make up stories about themselves but did anyway. Whatever, gently caress those people.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:01
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BREAKING NEWS- IMAGES FROM HIS NEW POETRY BOOK Don't worry I'm sure it will be available online very soon  Look out world, prepare to be offended!
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Aug 27, 2007 17:03
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drat this is like the worst possible introduction to a book possible let me tell you about this thread i made on this little forum called something awful, 
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Aug 27, 2007 17:03
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tdh he's a cripple let him have his fun  he has to put his socks on with hooks. usually fucked around with this message at 17:06 on Aug 27, 2007 |
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Aug 27, 2007 17:04
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I miss the days when people like him just joined the circus.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:04
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tony danzas ho posted:I love self-writen bios in third person!
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Aug 27, 2007 17:06
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Platter posted:tdh he's a cripple let him have his fun Do you believe that a dwarf is equal to a person of "normal stature", socially? If so, would you make fun of a "normal" person if they were attention-whoring and telling contrived bullshit stories about themselves? You're against equal rights for cripples, ain't ya?
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Aug 27, 2007 17:08
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BSG posted:I'm quite the fish UNDER water, but because of the metal in my back, my but floats and my upper body sinks. I end upside down if I'm not careful! I can't tread water, so I just have to swim to the side and pull myself up. I usually like to swim with hot women because I have to hang on to someone. The ladies like my honesty. Yeah so this never happened. Unless the woman thought he was just a small boy being cute and precocious. J. Bansal fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Aug 27, 2007 |
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Aug 27, 2007 17:11
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tony danzas ho posted:You're against equal rights for cripples, ain't ya?
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Aug 27, 2007 17:11
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http://www.brandonstgermaine.com/
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Aug 27, 2007 17:11
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God I miss the old days when Tossed Salad Man would go on epic rants about the evil of midgets and how they all should be killed. Anyone with archives can ya pull up some of these gems.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:16
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people really bought this? also, what does a Lulu sales rank of Lulu 21,035 mean?
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Aug 27, 2007 17:17
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Moll Brown posted:http://www.brandonstgermaine.com/ What a fascinating video. He's almost hypnotic.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:17
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Oh christ It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and lose it all It's unnerving How just one move puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let it get away from me But if that's how it's gonna leave Straight out from underneath Then we'll see who's sorry now If that's how it's gonna stand, when You know you've been depending on The one you're leaving now The one you're leaving out
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Aug 27, 2007 17:17
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 Pessimisms abound, she says that my girl is magic; and we are all (three of us) so beautiful. It’s simple. I am absent in emotional sixteen’s and muses inspire most when alone. That’s how I was her home this same time in the September past. I didn’t shower this morning because I had no one to smell me. I shot my tears off too soon and now it’s all messed up in the head until someone says that I am over reacting. But how are you supposed to react? I’ll bet there’s a joke in one of those “Jokes sent to your cell phone!” scams that goes: “What did the hurt boyfriend say to the slightly lesbian girlfriend who’s kissed her best friend?” And it’s one of those jokes without a punchline.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:19
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I had a buddy that was a midget. He got shot in the head. Maybe there's hope for Brandon after all.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:20
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Aug 27, 2007 17:22
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if you can't spell 'beatnik' correctly, there's a good chance you should hold off on the book of poetry for a while also, his 'write-up' reminds me of the lovely bios local bands would always send me when i used to book at a dive bar: "CRUCIFICATION is the best metal band ever in the history of the planet! This is the band your mom and dad warned you about! Get ready to have you're head exploded with metal fury because these guys are so amazing!"
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Aug 27, 2007 17:22
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Dirty Rob posted:I had a buddy that was a midget. He got shot in the head. Maybe there's hope for Brandon after all. But this guy is a mega bone enhanced dwarf. I have my doubts anything less than a milk bottle sized shell could penetrate his skull.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:23
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tony danzas ho posted:Do you believe that a dwarf is equal to a person of "normal stature", socially? If so, would you make fun of a "normal" person if they were attention-whoring and telling contrived bullshit stories about themselves? drat right, enough of this wishy washy, "Oh I can't make fun of HIM" bullshit. "I'll make fun of Jews, wops, niggers, spics and chinks, but I would NEVER make fun of a Native American, not after all the suffering we put their people through."
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Aug 27, 2007 17:25
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This is the original post I made on the Something Awful forums
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Aug 27, 2007 17:26
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mayeb he can get a guest spot on some hellbound ellen degeneres talk show and convince the world that dwarves cna be stagehogging unfunny people just as easily as ugly lesbians can
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Aug 27, 2007 17:26
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http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/forum/showthread.php?p=20216 Sexual preference: Bisexual, prefer women
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Aug 27, 2007 17:26
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really, the only thing restricting his game is retards with boners.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:27
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Moll Brown posted:http://www.brandonstgermaine.com/ "I hope you find a reason to stay, and I hope you find another reason to come back." Sure, no problem, I'll just click a link here... oh, I see, there's no content other than the YouTube embed with the blurb next to it. I'm sure I'll be coming back again and again!
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Aug 27, 2007 17:28
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Hello, please meet Brandon St. Germaine's Ex-Girlfriend She is dating a woman now. 
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Aug 27, 2007 17:30
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zeyvos posted:really, the only thing restricting his game is retards with boners. Ladies love tard strength. tony danzas ho posted:Hello, please meet Brandon St. Germaine's Ex-Girlfriend Matthew Lilard's younger sister?
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Aug 27, 2007 17:32
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he has a SHORT fuse:BSG posted:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2604039&highlight=#post332536769 BSG posted:I'm sorry my dick isn't as cold as yours must've been.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:33
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also:BSG posted:I read 3 new poems that night. A funny one about masturbation anxiety. Another about a fellow poet who'd been ostracized and then committed to a mental health clinic because of a misunderstood poem he wrote. The last poem being a love poem talking the beautiful art major onto her feet and into my arms. I won with a full 12 point lead, and she kissed me. Being the regional slam, I would go on to the state competition where I would later take a fall from first place on my last poem due to poor sportsmanship by the other poets, as well as the ridiculous panel of judges. it was all their fault
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Aug 27, 2007 17:41
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On his girlfriend at the time: By the way, there's this twig that is half of the most amazing thing I've ever been a part of. I hate to have ego (Who am I kidding?) but I must say: We rock so many places so much harder than so many other couples, it's hard to believe that we aren't considered weapons of mass destruction.
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Aug 27, 2007 17:42
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